Oh Rebekah, I'm so sorry to hear this. It seems like there's not a lot you can do but help them through and listen when you can. Are you doing a memorial, making something special so she can remember him every day, make a memory box or journal, just let her talk and grieve (and you along with her) I have found some good books but they're not geared toward animals. I'm just sorry for your loss. Hugs from Arizona.

Hearts do break and mine hurts with you...I remember when we lost our beloved cat and I literally felt my heart break. It was the hardest thing I had been through so far in my life. We told stories and made a smaller picture book to leave out and look at whenever we felt like it, we cried when we needed to. We had our own little memorial and wrote things about our love to our cat and thanking God for keeping her and attached all our notes to a bunch of balloons and then let them go. We watched them go heavenward asking God to comfort us and help us. That was the end of our little memorial and my kids still talk about that as the best part...Prayers for you and your husband to be helped to help your daughter and for your own comfort as well...respectfully, Debbie

Oh Rebekah and your family..all of you..Yes, i also felt your pain while reading the story..your family, and Debbie's are doing the right things in celebrating the little precious life. I liked the idea of sending the balloons up towards Heaven.. I will share something here of a rather personal nature.. I think animals do go to heaven..in a sense. And i think the animals we have shared time with on Earth will always be with us ..their spirit..i am not theological..I still have the most wonderful dreams where the little dog i had when i was a child, comes and visits with me.. We play together and there is so much love shared, even now..This is some 50 years ( yes ) later..Do not worry about a broken heart on your daughters part. If you can somehow convey that Love lasts forever..It really does..
It may not be a physical thing,but it is in the heart.

This is a personal thing also, but i believe that our pets are a gift from a Loving Father God..who is the source of all love and sharing..Love lasts forever.
Apologies if this may be personal.
I feel for you.
hugs,and Blessings to you all.
alice

I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty passing. I don't have any advice, since our dog and cat are still with us but I do realize from your story how hard it will be when one or the other goes. Pets are precious!

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an an animal dies that has been especially close to
someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are
meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they
can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and confortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are
restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt and maimed are made whole and strong again,just as we remember
them in our dreamsof days and times gone by.

The amimals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they miss someone very special to them; who had
to be left behind. They all run and play together , but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the
distance. The bright eyes are intent; the eager body
quivers. Suddenly he breaks away from the group, flying
over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. YOU have been spotted, and when you and your
special friend meet, you cling together in joyous reunion,
never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your
face; yopur hands again caress the beloved head, and you
look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long
gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
You are at at the Rainbow Bridge!

Go to Rainbow Bridge.org gallery and post your pets picture

Oh Dear Lord...
Your Daughter's Poem is one of the most profoundly moving writings I have EVER read, and I began crying while reading it and still have tears in my eyes.
I share her Love for a Cat ("Midnight"), and my Heart goes out to her in her time of Grief.
Rebekah, Y'all are exempleary as Mom and Dad, in halting the move and treating this the passing of Elvis with the reverence he deserves. We all find it difficult to see our Loved ones in Grief, however grief is a necessary healing process. The only "advise" I can offer is: Let her grieve and grieve deeply, and for as long as it takes for her Heart to heal, and then she will Love again one day.
God Bless Y'all.
Sincerely,
Gary
in Tampa

While my heart has been broken mostly for the loss of my dogs, there is a wonderful book for children..."Cat Heaven" by Cynthia Rylant. (There is also a "Dog Heaven".) As a former first grade teacher and one who had to comfort many a child on their losses,I highly recomment it for your family. You're doing just the right thing...taking time to grieve and to celebrate the joy Elvis brought to you all. I'm so sorry for your loss.

This might seem harsh...but our children learned early that animals/pets die...we had 2 rules...
#1 Animals die
#2 Can't change rule #1.
I guess it would be called tough love.
Feel for her as no matter it is hard to lose a loved pet.
Ann

I am so sorry for you and your sweet daughter's loss.

God bless, Amy

My heart is with you. I have lost beloved pets before and had no family to help bury them. Your little girl is so blessed to have a mother like you. Sad to say, I think we get pets and love them, and then let them go, and this is a pattern of how we will experience our grief in later years. Your crying and celebration is a good way for your child to learn about grief, that we can do these special things and later the memories will comfort us. There is a book called "Freddie the Leaf". I hope you can find a copy because I used it in my practice when I dealt with children and the death of a sibling.
I have two aging dogs who are as precious to me as Elvis was to you and your daughter. I dread the day of their departure, but knowing that, makes each doggie day more precious. Time will heal you and the memories will make life richer. God bless you.

Let her grieve. You grieve too. I cry tears with you. I had a cat once named KC who I loved deeply. I identify with your story. Elvis will always be with you. It's good you are staying at the house a little longer. I believe God brings spirits into our lives that touch us, help us grow, leave lasting memories of abundant love. KC made his transition right after my son was born, but my daughter still remembers him. He was 11. His brother went on to live to 17. In time another friend will enter your life. We didn't have any pets for 5 yrs after Max died. Now we have this great huge goofy chocolate labradoodle named Mousse (like chocolate mousse)that I love so much and he touches my life at every moment just like KC and Max did. And my kids love him too. I've never commented on your blog before, but know that I send this note attached with love and support for you and your family, and Elvis!

I am so very sorry, but your daughter has an amazing mom and that I think will help her through this. Take care.

I am so sorry about Elvis. He sounds like such a special little guy. The pictures and poem are just precious. I hate that our beloved pets are with us for such a short time. No advice to offer other than hugs.

Rebekah! Your story and pics made me laugh and cry all at the same time! Thank you so much for sharing it. I have an Elvis now. I had to wait until I was fifty years old to get her and she truly lives up to her name "My Baby". I have known a lot of cats in my time, and they were all very cool, but Elvis and Baby ....... they are just one-of-a-kinds. Keep doing exactly what you are doing, talking, looking at pictures and celebrating.

If I were there I would hug you all and just be with you. There aren't any words to say when your grief is so fresh. My prayers for all of you. Put together a scrapbook. Include pieces of fabric Elvis loved; pictures, the poem; and the drawing. Leave room for journaling for all of you. Keep it out to help you grieve.
God Bless. Bonnie Ellis

oh, Rebekah...I was sobbing by the time I got to the end of your daughters story. Then I had to read this entire blog to my officemate and she cried to. I hope that you can help your daughter understand that she should never be afraid to love with every piece of her heart just to avoid the pain that comes with losing the object of her affections. All is part of life and part of what makes it so special...I hope she can learn to be grateful for every moment she has with those that she loves and TELL and SHOW them how she feels, whether it be an animal or a human friend. I'm so sorry for your loss and I think it's great that your family has decided to mourn the loss/celebrate the life of your kitty family member in the home you all shared. That will be an act of kindness and family unity that your daughter will never forget.

Dear Rebekah:

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I think it was very wise of you to stay at home an extra week and let your little girl be comforted by her familiar surroundings. Although it was 35 years ago, I remember what my Mom told me when my first dog died, like was yesterday. She held me and told me that God loved me so much for helping to give his little creature such a happy life. That people who opened their hearts to love animals were rare and special. I was part of a special club and she was proud of me.

She promised me that when it came time to adopt another puppy that it would love me with all its heart. She told that she believed that one day all people and animals that loved each other would be together again, but until then we needed to remember that my little dog and his friendship was a priceless gift.

Her words helped me tremendously and I have always remembered them and they have been a source of strength during the many losses I have experienced in life, whether human or animal.

Some people like to get a new pet right away thinking it will distract the childs grief, but for me personally it was a good thing to wait a little bit. While my Mom encouraged me to grieve and express myself, she tried to get me back into a normal routine of life as soon as possible, including my chores and other little responsibilities that I had. It made life feel more stable.
She would encourage me to go ride my bike or would take walks with me to get some light and exercise, which helped the physical symptoms of my saddness.

Eventually when it was time to get a new puppy I felt a little guilty as if I was being disloyal somehow to my other little dog. She was able to convince me somehow that my old dog would love the new puppy and would want me to take care of it and love it too. I loved my new puppy with all my heart and we had great adventures together.

I was a very sensitive child myself and this comforted me greatly. It was true that I never fully regained my original innocence, and I had to learn to work through my fears of losing the new puppy. But it was a life lesson and one we all must experience at some point in our lives.

This is a tragic and crushing experience but it can also teach a child many important things. One of the most important is having compassion for others when they are weak, sick or grieving. What a vital lesson and one that some people sadly never learn.

I hope this helps a little bit in someway. Please know that we send you and your littl girl our love and our prayers will be with you.
Dolly

I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your beloved Elvis! I have no advice on how to get over a broken heart. I've lost two beloved pets. One a dog that I had from age 12-24 (all my photos with me in them from that time have Bridgette in them - she was always with me) and my cat Chuckie that I had for 17-1/2 years. We're still grieving over Chuckie (and to some extent Bridgette - the love felt for our pets never goes away). Chuckie was my buddy and after I met my boyfriend - became his buddy too. I've never seen David cry - but when Chuckie died (and when the anniversary comes) - he cries then. We still miss our little sweetie. It's been since 10/2001 - but the pain is still fresh.

I pray for sweet memories to comfort you all.

Susan

I am so sorry about your loss of Elvis. It's so hard to lose a member of your family and that is what our pets truly are. I've had several cats and dogs that I have lost over the years and my heart did break with each loss, but I try to keep with me all the wonderful memories of the love and affection we had for each other. My eight year old Bichon named Suki is the love of my life and as long as she is with my husband and I, we will treasure each day with her.

There is nothing more precious and powerful than LOVE. It can certainly hurt when we lose someone we love because love is deep in our hearts. May you feel peace knowing your loved kitty is with all the other loved animals who have passed away.

My girlfriend's dog died about a month ago, I went on line and ordered her a memorial rock for her garden with his name and the dates on it, you would not beleive the hugs and kisses I got, it certainly helped her through this rough time and he's always in her heart.

Sorry about your loss. You had me crying with you because I know that pain. There is a country song that says "I could of missed the pain but I would of missed the dance" I'm sure you wouldn't want to miss out on all those beautiful memories. Don't miss the chance to make more with a new pet in the future when you all are ready. Take care

We have gone through this twice in the last month, my two daughters have both lost their precious dogs. One just today. They are both adult daughters who have loved these dogs like their children. We each need to grieve in our own way. My grandaughter just wants to remember all the fun, silly things her dog did. Let her know its okay to mourn and that no other will replace them. My grandaughter told her aunt today, his spirit is right by you and he still loves you. She cried but said thanks, that helps, he wouldn't want me to be sad. We buried him and said our goodbyes. She will be lonesome, but she will always treasure the memories. Hope that helps, Sandy

So sorry to hear of Elvis's passing. Thru the yrs, I've lost several dogs and cats, never gets easier, like losing a part of myself.
sds like you are doing the best things for helping your daughter and you, thru this.
On amazon.com, if you put in "cat grief" under books, there are many many books that come up.
I personally have and have given : "Angel Whiskers/reflections on loving and losing a feline companion" & "The tenth good thing about Barney/ about a boys cat that just died" . so many would be appropriate for your family, like, "I still miss you/letters of comfort for cat lovers", "In remembrance of a special cat/ a keepsake memorial", MANY of them.
maybe you've ord from Amazon, don't know. but don't be afraid of ord the used books. I have ord prob over 100, they are usually like new.
The main things are like you're doing, talking about Elvis, looking at the pictures (wonderful pictures, thanks for sharing them ), writing about the memories.
Unfortunately, it takes time. We never get over it, we just somehow learn to live with it. the ache is always there.
I have a pet cemetary, it is comforting to walk thru it and talk with my "children", to plant flowers there, put different little things. ie: on my Cocker spaniels grave, Buddy, I have a concrete Cocker, looks just like him. several things like this thru out.
It's helping us, your friends, to talk about our experiences here too. God bless and be with you all.

I know how she feels, when we were having a very hard time as a family, because our house got flooded, my dog of 15 yrs died with no warning. I thought I would never love again, like you think your daughter will not. But a yr later another dog just like mine needed a home and fast. So we took her, and I love her almost as much. I am sorry for your loss and I will be praying for you. An animal is not just an animal, they are family, like children. My heart is with you.

The last of June we were at the place where we had to make
a decision about our 13 year old Australian Shepherd, needed to be made in June. I had tears as I thought of her yesterday. Yes,as you too she was mine until my now 10 year old daughter came along. You have done a great job with making sure
you have allowed your daughter the privelege of grieving her loss. Way too many people I know have stuffed their feelings about the deaths of even family members. The worst is when any one of us believe they have the right to tell the grieving person when it has been long enough snd they should be over it.
My daughter Addeline had a cat when she was 5 he was with her like you explained, he died at only 1 year old long story, anyway we didn't rum out to replace him, but last year, quite by coincidence (sure)she found one
she wanted and he even talks to her. He does not speak english, but we have fun traslating for him.
You are so appreciated, Loretta

I was so sorry to read of your beloved Elvis passing away. I heard of a small child who went to visit an elderly relative. When he went in her home he saw a picture hanging on the wall of her deceased husband. The small child told her " I know him . He's in heaven helping GOD. I thought how wonderful! His mother had taught him well. How wonderful to think of a friend or loved ones passing that way. Maybe it will help to think of Elvis this way.


Prayers from Indiana

SOOOOO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR CAT, ELVIS. WE HAVE 5 DOGS AMD 3 CATS AND ALL ARE MEMBERS OF OUR FAMILY. OVER THE YEARS WE HAVE HAD OTHER ANIMALS THAT, DUE TO AGE AND ILLNESS, WE HAVE HAD TO PUT DOWN. THERE IS ON IN PARTICULAR THAT I STILL HAVE TROUBLE TALKING ABOUT WITHOUT CHOKING UP AND CRYING. I AM A 47 YR OLD (YOUNG) WOMAN AND NOT ASHAMED TO SAY THAT.
LET YOUR DAUGHTER TALK ABOUT ELVIS. IT HELPS. REMIND HER THAT ELVIS IS STILL WITH HER IN HER MEMORY. AS LOMG AS HE IS THERE HE WILL NEVER BE FAR AWAY.
BEST OF WISHES TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY & CONDOLENCES ON YOUR LOSS

Read the blog Posie gets cozy- August 18th. You might find something in the blog or comments that will help. Has to do with the one year loss of a pet. I can feel your sorrow.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing an animal is never easy for child or adult. Grief is a part of the healing so let her grieve... Elvis will now and forever be a part of your lives, he just now lives in your heart instead of your home.

Our critters find spaces in our hearts that only they can fill. They lite our eyes on sad days and make us smile bigger on good. Their eyes only see the goodness in us and we reflect our worse at times. I have lost a dog who still leaves emptiness in places in my soul. Others have come since then and found new places to grow deep love, but the absence still lingers. I am so sorry for your families loose. I would imagine some day, in the not so distant furture some bright eyed critter will wander into your life to help soften your sadness. I am so sorry for your loss.

Dear Rebekah.

My heart truly reaches out to you, your family and your daughter. Our Pets do go to heaven and one day we will be with them again. In the meantime they live on in our hearts with a love that never falters, never fades. My dog Lord Michael died Christmas Day 2008 and I still grieve for him and miss him terribly. I’ve also just lost my cat Ruby much to soon in his young life, Aug.16 2009. Grieving has no time limit, neither is there a set level of intensity in our sorrow. Some days we think our hearts will break, the heartache is unbearable and other days we need to remember the good days. You are wise to let your daughter set her own pace and listen when she has the need to talk about the days she shared with E.B. In this time of grieving it soothes the heart to know they are now where there is no pain from old age or other reasons why they were taken from us. One day when it’s our time they will greet us with their shiny bright eyes, their panting of happiness glad to see us, the soft sound of purring and their fury arms around our neck in a loving embrace.
My deepest condolences for your loss and a loving hug to you all.
Trudi
From Quebec, Canada

This has been a very difficult time for us, as well. Our cat, Misty (who looked very much like ELvis, only smaller)was very sick the past few weeks, so at age 17, I had to decide it was time to put her down. It was not easy, as she was really my first pet ever (tho I am a grandma), and she was also part of our family. Now my house is too quiet when I'm home alone. She used to sit and look at me, and purr, too. Two days later, my fiance' ( a surrogate grandpa to my grandbabies) saw his doc, and found out he may be suffering from cancer. We plan to marry later this month while on vacation, but he has been feeling ill for a long time, and like many men, put off seeing the specialist. His doc told him that what she's found so far does not look good. He's having more tests today, tomorrow, and when we get home. We should know what is going on by the end of Sept., if not sooner. I feel for your little girl losing her pet. Unfortunately it seems unfair to go thru this at such a young age, but it happens. Now, I must worry about how we will tell the grandbabies - the 3 oldest are 3-4-5 yrs. old, if it looks like their grandpa is leaving us. I pray for your family, and ask that you pray for us.
love the blog & website....
just sign me..nonnameme'

The death of a beloved pet can be so traumatic. I can empathize with you and your daughter. My Mom's beloved cat of 16 years died last month and we all did our crying and mourning. He was such a great companion to her and so loving to us all. He would allow me to pick him up like a baby and carry him around. I was afraid Mom would not get another pet, but two weeks ago, she went to the shelter and bought a kitten and is thrilled. Mom is 85 is alone during the day, so the kitten is great company. Pets love us unconditionally and look to us for love and care. They are another gift from God.

So very sorry to hear about Elvis. The poem is lovely. My daughter is 33 and has had her cat (Jane)and her bird (Bob) for about 15 years. I absolutely dread the day either of them dies because she loves them more than anything. I am going to take a cue from you and start preparing for ways to comfort her. And me, too, since I love them, too.

Sounds like you are doing well in helping your daughter grieve by delaying the move to the new house and remembering the good times that she and Elvis had together. I don't think she will ever forget Elvis or the way that you are being sensitive to her needs.

God Bless you and your family. I am shedding tears of sorrow for you and your daughter. Elvis looks just like one of my cats, Miracle. I feel your grief. I will pray that your daughter heals from this loss.

As father of Elvis, I would like to thank you all for the warm, tender and heartfelt comments. Elvis was a wonderful cat, and he will forever remain near and dear to me, Rebekah and our daughter. It is nice to know there are people who love their furry family members the way we love ours.

Thank you

I am so sorry for you loss...especially as you move which will feel even more poignant now. What we have done in our family is to plant something in honor of a loved one who has passed. When my mother in law passed away several years ago, we also got the grandchildren little candelarias with votive candles. We told them they could light the candles with there parents when they needed some time to think about grammy. It is a good way to keep memories alive.

Hi Rebekah, So so sorry to hear about Elvis. My husband and I went through a very painful experience in May, when we lost both our beloved dog and cat, unexpectedly. We thought our dog had an absessed tooth because her breath was so bad. We had no idea her kidneys were failing and the bad breath is a sign of the final days. The cat was 14, the dog only 10. And oh they were so cute and smart and such good animals. We still cry from missing them so much. (I'm crying now) My husband took the dog's i.d. tag and put it on his key chain, and I took the cat's i.d. tag and put it on my charm bracelet. Start your daughter a charm bracelet, with the cat's i.d. tag. My Mom started a charm bracelet for me when I was a kid, and now it's a history of my life, the places I've been on vacation, special birthdays (sweet 16, 50!) special events (first communion, cooking school) and now it includes my pets. If the cat didn't have a tag, go to a jewelry store and have one made in memory of Elvis. Cindy

I am so sorry to hear about your Elvis (EB). Last year I lost my Pooka, the most loving a dear Ferret. Animals come to us for reasons and they become a part of our lives. I believe in love at first sight and that is how I met my Pooka. She was as special as Elvis and when she passed my world was empty and full of sadness. She was there for me through the 1st year of a divorce after a 40 year marriage. She knew when I hurt and when I needed some cuddles. She was a dear to me as one of my children. You will always love and remember your Elvis. Time will heal and you will have other wonderful friends but never a replacement. My thoughts and love are with you sweetie.

I always figured that the reason we have pets is to teach us about unconditional love, and death. After they leave us, they are still there - in our head, and in our heart - and it
is not hard to conjure up those thoughts and images. So, they never really leave us.
I grew up on a dairy farm and helped to operate one for many years before the days of "milk factory" farms. All of our cows had names and personalities, some were real characters, some not. I often wonder if when I get to that Rainbow Bridge there will be about 500 cows and other assorted farm animals waiting along with the cats and dogs.

Losing beloved pets:
I'm looking at Harley now, (female cat, aged 19) and Roadie same age, and Velcro, Harley's daughter age 17. By far, the hardest to lose will be Harley. She has dominated our household since she was a tiny kitten. People down the road came and begged me to come pick out a kitten. They had them in their horse's barn and all the sensible kittens were nestled in the spare stall with mama. Harley was tottering around under the horse's hooves, so of course I had to have her. There was a popular song on called 'They Named Him Harley', and it seemed to fit her. She has always been an independent cuss, but has started to mellow in her old age. When you take on the responsibility of elderly pets, you have to take on their foibles also, like not being able to keep down canned cat food unless it cost $1.50 per can. Asking to go out, then before you can sit down, asking to come in again. Missing the kitty litter box (intentionally).

We recently lost Sheba, a 15 yr old Asian Shepherd, and that was very hard. It was expected, so it made it somewhat easier. We've also had to put down a mare who had foundered several times. We thought we had pulled her thru with diet and constant vigilant hoof maintenance, but she just said, enough is enough and quit getting up. Horses leave a huge hole in your heart, but so do any pets that you've lived with for years. It never gets easier, but you know, I think that's what makes us human.

Hi Rebekah! I learned about Elvis (and Gracie and you) through a friend's email forward! I'm the author of 3 books of true and unusual cats stories--the bestseller, What My Cat Has Taught Me About Life, and a second, Inspur-r-r-ational Stories for Cat Lovers, and the recent release of Whiskers, Wit and Wisdom available online and in major bookstores. I loved the pics of Elvis on his birthday. Purr-iceless! Please visit my site. I have an About Cats page with changing content. Paws-Script: You appear to be doing a PURR-fect job of walking your family through your loss. My condolences to all!