Sleep Secrets

By: rebekah
On: 08/24/2009 11:03:55
In: Rumor Has It ...
Comments: 35

There are no words to describe how touched I am by your warm comments and emails. I'd like to tell you that we are doing great. That wouldn't be the truth. What we are is getting by. Hearing about how you all got through the death of a pet helped us enormously. How can I say thanks? You are all so wonderful. I'd like to share a pot of tea with everyone of you.

I can tell you this: staying at the old house was just the thing to do. We needed that extra time there. It didn't really matter that there wasn't any furniture. We had what we needed. Each other and a little more time.

True, our backs hurt from sleeping on the floor, but being there was important to the whole family. On top of Elvis suddenly dying, my daughter had to start school last Wednesday. A NEW school, with all NEW people. I think all she could tell them about herself was how much her heart hurt. I hope the other kids were kind to her.

So let me show you where I am at this very minute.

I'm sitting here right now.

No Internet at the new house.

So it's day two for me at Starbucks.

I now live within five minutes or so of THREE Starbucks. That's nuts, isn't it? There is literally a Starbucks at every corner here.

The place I moved from was at least 35 minutes from a Starbucks and that one was in a grocery store. Not exactly the coffee shop experience.

I used to walk into these places with folks sitting around punching their computers and wonder why they were here instead of at work or at home.

This is kinda nice. I'm getting it now. I see some of the same people I saw yesterday. And I already feel a connection with all the rest of the computer folks in here. This is my first time using Wi-Fi. Very cool.

Here comes a lady who was here yesterday. She is so chatty and sweet. I needed to be working yesterday when she sat down and visited with me. I enjoyed it tremendously. Yep, here she comes again. Right to the chair beside me...

Okay, that was pleasant.

But back to the subject at hand. I've had such a hard time getting this blog post posted. I'd really like to talk about something else. Other than how yucky I feel. You know, like my grand plans for a fall garden this year now that I have a yard. Or how I think autumn is right around the corner. I'm sure I felt autumn this morning in the breeze.

But I just can't do it.

I'm tired and weary and still sad.

I'm suffering greatly from lack of sleep. Being on the floor last week was tough on my back and my zzzzz's.

The fella who works the counter just walked over with a frozen mocha for me. I didn't order that, I said. It's for you. On the house. What? Now, see....that's nice.

You know, Starbucks is actually a great place for the sleep deprived. They've got lots of caffiene and sugar. Have you tried their scones? Oh my...yum!

Anyway, I slept in a bed Sunday night and Monday night. You'd think that would feel awesome. A mattress. And a bedspread.

Not so much. I still didn't sleep.

So help! WHAT ARE YOUR REMEDIES FOR INSOMNIA?

Please, share it. What do you do when you can't sleep? Any secrets?

Until next time, Friends, savor the flavor of life!
Lots of love, The City Farmgirl, Rebekah

P.S. Okay, I'm feeling better already. The combination of visiting with you and the cuppa tea and the frozen mocha and the scone has done me good!

So, did I mention autumn is right around the corner? I've noticed it, have you?

Not only did I feel it in the air, but I saw it on the dogwood tree. Check this out.

And the maple too...

Just a few specks on the maple....

YAY!

The last night we spent at our house in the woods, I recorded the sound of the night with my little camera. Pop over to www.thecityfarmgirl.com to hear the southern summer night on the back porch. Autumn quietens the night there.

Okay, my free two hours of Wi-Fi at Starbucks is about over....see you back here next Tuesday!

Thanks in advance for your sleep secrets!

Comments

: By: Marti Johnson; On: 08/25/2009 12:17:20

Because I have fibromyalgia, I have plenty of nights when I don't sleep, or at least not soundly (like last night). I take an anti-depressent which helps me most nights, but on the nights I can't sleep, I'll read in bed until 1 or 2 a.m. Sometimes, I'll get up and move to the rocking chair in my sewing room and knit for a while (quilting is too hard on the eyes late at night). And when all else fails, I'll try to remember the names of all 50 states in alphabetical order ... try it; its much harder than you think, both keeping track of all the states and counting them up on your fingers to get to 50. Sometimes when I've succeeded at that, then I'll recite them all again from the upper northeast coast (Maine) to the far west (Hawaii & Alaska). Probably because I've lived in California all my life, states like Nebraska, Kansas, and Maryland always seem to get left out.

My friend in Tennessee also has sleep problems occasionally, and when she finds herself awake, will often go downstairs to her computer and send me a long e-mail just for the heck of it. I guess it works for her. The one thing you don't want to do is stay still in bed trying to convince your body to sleep; it just won't until its ready, and staying still and telling your mind to sleep just makes it more difficult. That's why I continue the state-naming routine because at least it distracts the mind enough to let it wear itself out. And think of how smart you'll feel when you can just rattle those off to impress your kids!

: By: Betsy; On: 08/25/2009 12:20:09

One word: Ambien

: By: Barb; On: 08/25/2009 12:21:10

You aren't old enough to be an "old hippie", and may not be aware of this remedy. Try Sleepy Time Tea from Celestial Seasonings. Does wonders for helping you sleep.

: By: Jackie; On: 08/25/2009 12:44:16

I,too,am a farm girl. There are times when I really miss the farm world but I've had to learn that life goes on with or without us. When we no longer have changes all that is left is death. Accept the change and KEEP moving on.

: By: Jenny; On: 08/25/2009 12:50:26

Oh, I'm so sorry things are in so much turmoil.

I have some great sleeping tips. For real!

1. No caffeine after about 1 o'clock.
2. About an hour before you go to bed take some melatonin and some magnesium.

Having suffered with insomnia for way toooo many years these three things allow me to go to sleep quite well every night.

I take twice the recommended magnesium because I need it for leg and bone cramps as well.

Rebekah, sad is ok. Be sad. Be as sad as you need. Your nature will never let you stay there for too long and your psyche and body and mind will know when you have been sad long enough.

Hugs from AZ!

: By: sharon walker; On: 08/25/2009 13:22:55

hi rebekah,
grieving for a family pet takes alot out of you. but i think what you could try is - to begin getting life back to normal - maybe working in your backyard, getting your new house to feel like home, do these things as a family.do something fun like a picnic in your yard - its time to remember the joy and let go of the sadness.
before bed try having some decaf tea, do some type of craft work (like crochet/knit), have a warm bath and calm your mind. i hope i helped a little. take care
god bless
sharon

: By: Mary Anne; On: 08/25/2009 13:29:56

Dear Rebekah,
Sleep-so elusive at times! Have you ever tried a visualization tape, imagining you are floating down a lovely shallow bubbling brook. Weeping willows bending over the banks creating dappled sunlight in the pools of water next to the bank. Sweet little birds song coming through the breeze. The warmth of the sun and the cool of the shade.
Anyway you can create your own peaceful haven. We planted a lovely hosta over our darling Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Meg's site, so now when ever I pass by I always say hello, although I firmly believe our pets are in Heaven, as well as all animals. Peace to you and your lovely family.

: By: Gary; On: 08/25/2009 13:46:36

Thank You for another straight from the Heart Bloggie Rebekah...
You are right... there is a "community" in those Coffee joints...
Ohhh... Maple Trees... how I MISS Maple Trees, and *real* Night... darkness... and all those sounds... here in the swamp (aka: florida... not a real state... just a swamp with a really good chamber of commerce and a giant mouse) there are no *real* trees, or soft grass you can walk barefoot on, nor does it ever, ever really get dark. Thank You for the video clip... I can't wait to move back Home to Tennessee.
Y'all did the right thing remaining at Home to grieve, and I hope and Pray that your daughter comes to feel that E.B.'s Spirit lives on in her and her ability to Love anew... it is the living legacy, which E.B. left her.
Sleep... ummm... emotional stress always disturbs sleep they say, and I agree. I find that my sleep depends on "routine", and once that is restored, all will be well. In the meantime, two things may help: Catnip Tea (crush a few leaves and steep them in a cup of Sleepytime Tea or valerian root.
GodSpeed to Y'all...!
Gary
in Tampa

: By: auntpammy; On: 08/25/2009 14:10:58

Well my remedy is "sleepytime tea" and a quiet corner and a good book. I love to read poetry especially at night before I go to bed.

My kids all grew up on children's poetry because that is what I would read to them before they went to bed every night.

Condolences to you and your family about Elvis. I just couldn't bring myself to write anything last week I felt so bad for you and your daughter. Time heals all wounds and I pray that your wounds heal quickly. God Bless. Pam

: By: Bonnie; On: 08/25/2009 14:25:42

I recite the 23 Psalm. I turn everything over to God. All of my thoughts, doubts, fears, dreams, hurts etc. I just wait for Him to calm me like the seas. My heart and mind heal and I start to sleep better. Hope this helps.

: By: verna atherton; On: 08/25/2009 15:13:11

hi, rebekah. I'm new to your blog....not very computer savvy, but, at 69 years old....I'm doing well enough just to email.

However, about your sleep problem: I've found that reading helps tremdously. If you are a mystery buff, as I am, it may stir up the adrenaline, but I find it to be very satisfying & gets my mind off the daily grind. I have a few favorite authors I could share with you, but then, you may have a different direction of interest. That's okay. Whatever you find interesting & appealing.....get it! Enjoy it, & I assure you that it will cause you to look forward to your bedtime to get into the next chapter.

Also, something that NEVER fails to work for me, is to watch a movie.....any movie will do....& about 10 minutes before it's over.....I'm out! Believe me! It works.

Drinking a nice glass of milk, or cup of hot tea is always a good, soothing way to begin your evening, too. So....
grab your cup & your book, turn on the movies, & you'll be out in not time.

I'm a new subscriber to your MJF magazine. My twin granddaughters have me hooked on it. It is so refreshing to see the older generation's influence coming through the younger generation in full force. My granddaughters are members of one of your chapters of FarmGirls. They love it & have such a good time together. I'm very impressed that it includes every age you can think of....from the very young to the very old. I think they have about 2 in their 80's....even trying out a hoola-hoop. They got only 3 turns out of it, but they had fun.

Well, that's all for now. I usually get on a roll & go from one subject to another.....so, if you get this, & try out my suggestion....let me know how it comes out for you. We MUST get you some sleep.

God bless you in your new endeavor.....& know how much you are touching lives in a positive way. This world needs more like you.

Sincerely,

Verna Atherton

: By: Wendy; On: 08/25/2009 15:24:18

Believe it or not, when I take my calcium at night it really does help me sleep better. I've struggled with sleep in the past, but my naturopath suggested it and it worked. Meditation and exercise also helps me. Sounds like meditations might be easy in your backyard. Good luck!

: By: kathy schild; On: 08/25/2009 15:32:19

Dear Rebekah,
Both my daughter(23) and I have a hard tme "calming down" for a good night's sleep sometimes. We have found three remedies to be especially helpful: Tranquil Sleep by Natural Factors (they have just a touch of melatonin, so you don't have that fuzzy feeling in the morning), magnesium (my doctor says all women could use more magnesium), and reading in bed until you start yawning instead of laying in bed and getting frustrated. Try to take as much time as possible to be kind to yourself right now. Stretch, walk, read for fun, nap, listen to uplifting music, go to art museums. Cross through most of the items on your to do list. You are in the midst of starting over in so many ways and mourning a friend at the same time. Unfortunately, the older we get, the harder it ia to bounce back ( I think we're about the same age). Just tell yourself it's going to take awhile to get settled in and then work at relaxing.
God bless,
Kathy

: By: Shanda; On: 08/25/2009 16:38:53

Sorry to hear of all your stress and greif.
When I can't sleep; instead of lying there fretting over it and tossing and turning, I get up, turn on a small lamp, get a lap quilt and just read in the quiet of the night. Usually before long I fall asleep with my book fanned across my chest.

You will also eventually get into a new wind down routine at the new place, and that says bedtime to the body more than anything.

Hope you find peaceful slumber very soon.

Shanda

: By: Wendy; On: 08/25/2009 17:27:53

I listen to the Cow. It's a radio station. http://www.live365.com/stations/radioman1380
Country's easy listening station. A mix of classics from the country legends, hits from the stars of yesterday and today, great album cuts and some country instrumentals, too.
Listen for the cow, it moos during the broadcast. Actually I listen to most of the day too, especially on the weekends.

Sometimes I play instrumental music on my CD player or on my cell phone (if I am away). I like the sounds of the waves, a babbling brook, the rain, they are all very soothing and relaxing.

: By: Denise; On: 08/25/2009 17:35:50

When I can't sleep, I say a prayer for someone with every letter of the alphabet. If I can't think of someone with a certain letter, I think of someone in the world, like for the letter "P", you could say "all the poor people". I still have a hard time with |QQ'QQ|. Most of the time I fall asleep before reaching the end of the alphabet.
Denise

: By: Debby Carrico; On: 08/25/2009 17:59:49

I try various things to sleep, depending what is going on. Clenching and stretching different parts of the body and letting go sometimes helps. Reading a funny descriptive story with good character develoment relaxes me. A good warm bath used to help, but I can't get in and out of a tub anymore. The old joints won't stand for it. Good luck and sweet dreams. Debby/Cincinnati

: By: Ann Bliss; On: 08/25/2009 18:27:07

I pray...
I think of my family and I start with them and pray for them.
Then I go to friends and pray for them. If I still cannot sleep I move on to others whom I know that could use a prayer. Usually I will fall asleep. If not at least the time wasn't wasted. :>
I have had some tell me that it is "terrible" to fall asleep while praying...well I don't think the Lord will mind. :>

: By: Dolly; On: 08/25/2009 19:37:29

Dear Rebekah:

Due to the pain of some chronic health conditions I suffer from insomnia several times a week. I sure can understand how difficult it is to be sleep deprived. It is hard to sleep when we are grieving or have too much on our minds. So just accepting it and not fighting it is half the battle at this stage.

Relaxation tapes help me quite a bit. They help me to relax and focus my mind on more quiet thoughts. Often I find myself drifting off in the middle and wake up the next morning with my head sets still on.

You might try for just a few days some of the over the counter medications, like Excedrin PM and such, they are often very effective. Although they sometimes leave you groggy in the morning so you need to allow yourself a little extra time to get up and get moving. I have sometimes found that taking extra Calcium before bed time helps as well. Warm milk with a touch of vanilla is also very soothing.

If laying in bed, unable to sleep makes me agitated, I find the best thing is to just get up and do something, read, bake a cake, play my piano, knit for awhile, listen to favorite music.

Force yourself to start winding down a little earlier in the day. Eat your dinner an hour earlier, take a warm bath and get in your pajamas an hour or two earlier than normal. Turn off all news programs. Little things like that really help to set a more relaxing pace for the evening.

It sounds like life is very overwhelming right now and I know you must have a lot of responsibilities, but if it is at all possible, slow down a bit, give yourself extra time, rethink goals and expectations you may have regarding getting unpacked and organized at the new house. Just concentrate on the moment. You may find that it will become a little easier for you to rest.

I wish you all the best in the days to come. I have a good feeling that your body will get back into it's normal groove soon, until then be kind and patient with yourself. I enjoy reading your blog entries very much! Rest well.
With Love,
Dolly

: By: Joan McGuigan; On: 08/25/2009 21:37:53

My heart goes out to you, Friend. You and your family have had your share of troubles and challenges. Know that life will feel better soon. When I can't sleep, I do my relaxation breathing exercises that I learned in childbirth classes eons ago. Then I pray. Well, actually, I visualize putting my concerns into the Lords hands and then I let go and "let God" as the expression goes...and continue deep breathing. May you be filled with Peace and All Joy, Joan

: By: Sheri; On: 08/25/2009 21:41:49

I'm sorry to say that I have no cure for insomnia. Sometimes you just have to not stress out about not sleeping, the more you worry about it the harder it gets to sleep. So my sorry advice is just to embrace not sleeping well for a while and it will eventually pass.

: By: marthaellsn; On: 08/25/2009 21:54:33

Sleep? I've tried the PM stuff and Ambien and they make me dopey the next day. The best thing I can do is to get the room pretty cool/cold, have a big comforter and some other lightweight blankets on the bed, then ride! I envision myself riding Montessa, one of my Paso Fino mares. I feel her mane blowing back onto my hands, I watch her ears prick this way and that as she notices things I can't see, and I count cadence. She's a Paso Fino and in all gaits, there is a certain 1234 beat to her steps. She never breaks into a trot and I'd rather have her go into a largo than a canter or lope so we can really eat up territory. Anyhow, I try to get in a couple of serious rides during the week and at night when I can't sleep, I go back and mentally ride her. Works like a charm every time. Actually it works so good, I have to watch that when I'm really riding one of my Pasos, I don't nod off!
marthaellen

: By: meredith; On: 08/26/2009 06:12:35

I am so sorry for the sadness in your life right now- been there many times myself! I know this will sound silly but here is my remedy for insomnia- when you wake up at a ridiculous hour, or just cant fall asleep, tell yourself that if you stay awake you have to get up and do your most detested chore (cleaning the toilet always works for me)- it works more often than not- good luck!

: By: Cyndi Neumann; On: 08/26/2009 06:23:16

I am so sorry for your heartbreak with losing ELVIS plus your combined move is so stressful. May your honor your memories. I have lost my two 12 year old Golden Retriever's Megan and Jordan in the past two years and we have adopted a rescue Golden and Two Rescue Cats. They can't replace but do fill some much needed holes plus helping out so many rescues needed to be adopted and need much love.

Go to petfinder.com and the Rainbow Bridge, just goodle these names and I hope oyu find some comfort.

I can't wait to hear from you in your new vintage old house.
Blessings, Cyndi

: By: Dianne; On: 08/26/2009 06:39:02

Sleeplessness is a terrible thing...mine usually comes from not being able to shut down my brain. I now use melatonin, a hormone produced in the brain by the pineal gland. It's believed to help maintain regular sleeping patterns. All I know is that it really helps my brain to shut down and I have been sleeping so much better...not waking up at 3 am. One pill an hour before bedtime and that's it!

: By: suzy; On: 08/26/2009 06:40:58

I just now went back and read the story of the loss of your beloved Elvis, and now you're move and insomnia...I think the main thing you need for your lack of sleep is TIME....You've experienced a multitude of things lately that have taxed your emotions...Sometimes when I can't sleep because of husband's health problems, writing and works issues, etc. I just get up and DO something like quilting or something repetitive...or the old standby of a glass of cold milk and a warm probably-not-healthy-for-me Pop Tart! Comfort food...Is it true that comfort foods don't have calories??? best wishes. Our indoor cat Biscuit is now 14 and has had two surgeries this summer. One more bad health day and I will be forced to euthanize her...But we know she's had and is still having a wonderful cat life...Your Elvis enjoyed the love of two warm females, you and your daughter...he could not have asked for a better life!

: By: carol branum; On: 08/26/2009 11:08:42

hi rebecca,so sorry to hear bout your cat.when I can,t sleep I usually clean,that tires me,since it is such a terrible job,or I watch old movies.I have a lot of friends that are depressed these days,the economy ect.I am lucky that I have large doses of VITIMAN G,GIRLFRIENDS,i have had the same group here for the last 35 years,sort of like the ya ya,s in the ya ya sisterhood movie.We all met in a bar,of all places,years ago,and our friendships stuck,what do I say,its a small town,So,I always know that I can call in the middle of the night if things get too bad,but I don,t usually,I know they will be around in a few days and I can vent with them.We keep no secrets just like the ya ya,s....I do know this for a fact,many times in the last 35 years,I thought it was the end of my world,as I knew it,but,when you think things are bad,suprise,they can get worse,fast,so count your blessings,name them one,by one,and you will sleep....blessed be...themissourifarmersdaughter...carol branum

: By: Eva; On: 08/26/2009 13:51:58

What do I do when I can not sleep? When emotions or worries get lodged in my brain and keep me going long after "tired" has paid me a visit? I grab some baking soda, spearmint essential oil, some water, a small bowl and cloth. Then I get down on my hands and knees and scrub the kitchen floor. You can cry and scrub at the same time, because you are already on the floor. If I need to take a break, I just lean back on the cabinets and try to breath slowly. Then I scrub some more. As I scrub, I am thinking and feeling...just letting it all in. Then I imagine it all falling to the floor and I scrub some more. The reason I use baking soda and spearmint is that the baking soda is not toxic and the smell of spearmint actually lifts my spirits after a while. It clears my mind, my heart and my nose after all that crying! Once I have stopped crying, I wash my hands and put the supplies away and am ready for bed. The rocking motion of my body while scrubbing is also comforting, especially if I get into a rhythm.

hugs and comfort to your whole family...

Eva in NC

: By: Reba; On: 08/26/2009 20:37:27

Praying for your daughter, others, and for strength while settling in bed--it is the greatest inner strength and power on earth. And it brings peace. Re-focusing your thoughts, hopes, and dreams. As you get your "comfort" things unpacked and placed in your new home, that will help the "settling" in. Trying NOT to get too tired unpacking, working too long and steady for too many hours. Going to the mountain farm and breathing in some of that fresh air (you can "smell God" up there), especially since there is a little nip of Fall in the air. Just a few suggestions.

: By: Barb; On: 08/27/2009 03:46:34

All of the suggestions to help you get a good night's sleep seem valid and should help, but let me add one additional thought - A Sleep Number bed. My husband and I bought one a few years back and it means everything to my sleep. You just set the mattress to the firmness that feels right for you that night and away you go. I sleep like a baby even when I have had a very stressful day. If you are ever in the vicinity of a Sleep Number store, go in and give one a try. Who knows, you may get hooked like I am!

: By: Kathy; On: 08/27/2009 16:09:16

I have tears in my eyes after reading about losing your cat, I had to have a cat of mine put to sleep a couple of years ago and it was the hardest thing ever, I cried on and off for a week, and the only reason I quit crying was a week after my cat died, a very dear cousin of mine lost her son in a car crash, but now, two weeks ago we had to have a dog of my Mom's put to sleep, one she has had for 12 years, and we are still sad, and she now has a wonderful puppy but we still miss Jessie, so just grieve, and let nature take its course. Try not to worry about not sleeping, I pray like several others have mentioned, I also lay in bed and think about next year's garden, or the next quilt I want to make or the next rug I want to knit from t-shirts, and after I have gone through all the people I want to make something for, or all the veggies I have canned or eaten, I am usually sound asleep. And for me it is a fantasy, because the only thing I have ever planted that grew at all was onions, and they didn't do very well, I do quilt and knit rugs but slowly, so it is like a fairy tale and I fall asleep. kath

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