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 Farmgirl but not Superwoman - Simple Life?
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AspenDance
Farmgirl at Heart

2 Posts

Victoria
Lindstrom MN
USA
2 Posts

Posted - Jul 17 2014 :  4:59:40 PM  Show Profile
I was a farmgirl wannabe for a long, long time. Two years ago my dreams came true and we moved to a 40-acre farm in the rolling hills of the Driftless region of southwestern WI.

On our lush green grass pastures we've raised laying hens, meat chickens, heritage and commercial breed turkeys, meat rabbits, grassfed lambs, a handful of alpacas, and of course several cats and a Border Collie. Our ruminant count is currently around 16 and our poultry/rabbit count is anywhere between 50-250+.

We have no permanent fences other than a barbed wire perimeter, so we move everything around in electric net fences. These must be set up every few days so the critters can move to fresh grass. When the grass is tall, I have to weed wack a line for the fence to be placed. Each piece of fence is 164' long, and paddocks require multiple fences (so lots of weed wacking!).

We also jumped on the bandwagon and started peddling our goods at the largest farmer's market in the area, about an hour away. This endeavour took up a full day of our week, every week for 6 months of the spring/summer/fall and 3 months of the winter (indoor market). This is the first summer we decided to skip the summer market and only do the winter.

Although I did not grow up on a farm, I spent quite a bit of time helping out on other farms before we purchased ours including a summer internship. So I wasn't surprised about the amount of work required.

I haven't mentioned but in order to pay the mortgage on our dream farm, my husband commutes to a large city 3.5 hours away and is off the farm from Sunday night through Thursday. Meaning I am the farmgirl in charge - and it's up to me to care for all of the critters, move paddocks, weed the garden, mow the grass, wash all the dishes and plan next week's meals.

Quite honestly, I am thoroughly exhausted most of the time!

I look at the cute crafts in the MJ magazines and books and I think to myself, "Who has time to sit down and make something? There are critters to feed/water/move! Babies to check on! I haven't even had time to take a shower all week!"

So I'm curious for all of you farmgirls out there who may or may not be doing most if not all of the farm work yourselves - how do you do it? And what gets left undone? And how do you deal with the thought that your farm probably does not look like anything you've ever seen in a magazine and probably never will? That your flower gardens are still more of a dream than a reality? That your experimental hay bale garden collapsed taking all of your tomatoes with it?

Most days when I look around the farm instead of seeing acres of hay and wildflowers and rolling green, I see a mile of fence lines that need brush clearing, a garden 2/3 full of weeds, a lawn that needs mowing, floors that need major mopping, paddocks that need moving, and piles of paperwork that need sorting/filing/scanning/shredding.

I just don't understand how people run farms and homes and have any kind of time to relax at all. We sure don't. Weekends when my husband is home are awesome - we get to do even harder work when he's around! Holidays are even better - 4 day weekends of manual labor instead of only 3!

I love this farm, I do, but some days, I just don't want to get out of bed and face the endless to-do list. Especially when I have to face it all alone most days.

Am I the only one that feels like this?

Gypsy Farmgirl
www.GypsyFarmgirl.com

oldbittyhen
True Blue Farmgirl

1511 Posts

tina
quartz hill ca
USA
1511 Posts

Posted - Jul 17 2014 :  7:16:34 PM  Show Profile
you are soooo not alone my friend,lol...I am a widow now, but when my kids were little, and my husband worked off of our place 5-7 days aweek, I was sleep walking alot of the time, babies were in a sling attached to me as I worked, including while I was on the tractor, when they were walking and I needed to be out working in the gardens or butchering or or or (you get the picture), I had a big box stall in my barn that I converted into a large country style playpen, and with my kids at all times were at least 1 nanny dog (nothing more valuble than a great nanny dog), showers were more for the kids (I usually got pretty clean and wet bathing them)and when they were little they went in the shower with me...I use rotation pastures for my livestock when they have babies (which took several years to get built and working), I have a kitchen garden and a canning garden, I have a small orchard, along with my chicken/turkey pens for growing and finishing, along with my layer pens ( too many predators to free range), my quilting, sewing and any crafts are saved for the winter time when its much slower here, and as far as a clean house,lol, if my mommas coming to visit, or its Christmas, it has to keep its self, and a plaque on my kitchen wall says..."My house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy", and I don't know of any true blue farm or ranch women who does any better...

"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad"
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl

4687 Posts

Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts

Posted - Jul 18 2014 :  11:12:49 AM  Show Profile  Send catscharm74 a Yahoo! Message
You are not alone and it's ok to be tired!!! :)

I grew up a farmgirl but I know how hard my family had to work just to put food on the table. Daddy had a normal 8-5 job and then worked hours after work to keep everything in order around the home.

My dream is still to be a farm girl, but smaller scale and realistic for what fits my life. I have requirements:
1. Not too far from civilization. I like my privacy but I like people as well.
2. Older home- smallish. Must be able to add a porch
3. Acre or so of land.
4. Chickens- yes
5. Small place for a shop for me to do my thang. :) and for storage of items I pick up junkin'.
6. Walkable road- I like to walk with my dog(s).
7. Room for some fruit trees and garden. Maybe even a clothesline

I want a really simple interior. All white and uncluttered, open.

I still love being a farm girl but I know my limitations- physically, money wise, time wise and what I truly what I want in my heart. I want time for my family, my hobbies- photography, dress making, photography, animals, health and wellbeing and building my own business/brand.

I make sure to also pencil out time on my calendar otherwise I will just keep going until I collapse. For instance, hubby mows the lawn, I water the garden and then we are off for the day to do something fun. Trust me- most valuable thing I have learned.

I think part of all of this is knowing yourself and being happy with that. Nothing is a mistake- everything is a lesson. :)








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kysheeplady
True Blue Farmgirl

1291 Posts

Teri
KY
USA
1291 Posts

Posted - Jul 18 2014 :  3:24:02 PM  Show Profile
Try doing it at 59, plus working part time.
It is not an easy lifestyle, it is not for everyone. It does take hard work, dedication and commitment. Nothing worth having comes easy.
Have you though about scaling back a little? Maybe, save some money for permanent fencing that you can do yourself, and add to it as and when you can.
Sheep are hard to keep healthy, you do have to rotate them. I also used the electronet fencing. There is nothing easy about moving that by yourself.
Sometimes it is better to start small and get big, rather than start big and be overwhelmed.
I do wish you much luck tho ... hope things get better for you.

Teri
"There are black sheep in every flock"

www.whitesheepfarm.com
https://www.etsy.com/shop/whitesheepprimitive
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Red Tractor Girl
True Blue Farmgirl

6488 Posts

Winnie
Gainesville Fl
USA
6488 Posts

Posted - Jul 18 2014 :  4:58:41 PM  Show Profile
Victoria, I was exhausted just reading all that you do on your farm!! What an endeavor to take on alone 4 days a week as well. No wonder you are burned out! I live in the city and have never lived on a farm, but I think if I did, I would do as Teri suggests and start small and then add as it feels balanced with other interests you have and all of the upkeep. If you had farm help, things might feel different, but since it is just you and hubby, there is not much wiggle room for anything else. My suggestion to you would be that it is OK to say, this is tool much and I want more time in my (our) life to pursue other interests. When you look out your door and see everything out of control and there is not enough time or energy to manage it, then it seems like it is time to scale back and pick a few favorite pursuits and call it a day. Imagine yourself having time to do creative projects of interest like crafting, knitting, or whatever you enjoy. Imagine yourself getting a shower every evening and having 4-5 glorious hours to spend time in conversation, read, sit on your porch and relax. Imagine. And then go make it happen@! We want to hear how you have put out the fire of personal burnout and lit the fire of doing something you have been longing to do! Life is short and there is not a moment to waste!!

Winnie #3109

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windypines
True Blue Farmgirl

4086 Posts

Michele
Bruce Wisconsin
USA
4086 Posts

Posted - Jul 19 2014 :  03:04:58 AM  Show Profile
Farming is not always the life you see in pictures. It is hard work all the time. Always something that needs to be done. Like you say you spend weekends and holidays working. I work part time and do most all the farm work here. My husband is here, but works alot of over time. It is hard, I do get frustrated, and I am tired. Making any jobs easier for yourself would be important. Maybe make at least some permanent fenceing. So there is not so much to constantly move. Mulching really helps with weeds in the garden. The area I mulched stays much cleaner. This year we have been sooo wet. Just got done haying yesterday finally. Good luck.


just a girl farming in WI

Michele
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Rosemary
True Blue Farmgirl

1825 Posts


Virginia
USA
1825 Posts

Posted - Jul 19 2014 :  9:21:56 PM  Show Profile
I'm 66 and doing all of this too. It sucks. My husband (who also has a long commute 5 days a week) does almost nothing on the property, though he does usually cook our evening meal and does the dishes afterwards, which is nice. Sometimes I wish I could just get one of those tiny houses, stick it on a lot in town and move in. Then maybe I could find the time and energy to do some of those lovely farmgirl things we read about in Maryjane's books and the magazine! ;)
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AspenDance
Farmgirl at Heart

2 Posts

Victoria
Lindstrom MN
USA
2 Posts

Posted - Jul 21 2014 :  12:11:26 PM  Show Profile
I am happy to hear from all of you that I am not alone in this. The funny thing is, I thought we were "starting small" and working our way up... haha! We started with a few alpacas, then laying hens, then meat chickens, then turkeys, then sheep... compared to many farms who run hundreds of livestock, we are tiny. But most of them I dare say have large families, staff, interns or all three! I have been thinking a lot of how to scale back and slow down a bit. I need down time in my day like Red Tractor Girl described. Thank you all for your input and comments.

Cheers -
Gypsy Farmgirl
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tracy043
Farmgirl in Training

23 Posts

Tracy
Batesburg SC
USA
23 Posts

Posted - Aug 12 2014 :  10:16:04 AM  Show Profile
You are not alone! My husband works out of town and is gone most of the week as well and the farm chores, yard, canning, household chores and anything else is up to me. Yes it is hard work but the thought of having to go clock in at some job and live in the city with no green grass and not being able to see the stars at night is not worth an extra couple hours of sleep. Please hang in there and know the life you are giving your children is something special!

Living a simple life while preserving the art of homemaking and homesteading.

http://oursimplelife-sc.com/

Farmgirl #2523
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countrymommy85
True Blue Farmgirl

898 Posts

Krystle
MT
USA
898 Posts

Posted - Aug 26 2014 :  08:24:45 AM  Show Profile
Honestly, I got totally burned out. I've got 4 children ages 5 to infant, we moved 7 times in the last 6 years with another upcoming move by years end. With horrible health problems starting last December, it took them until this month to figure out I have celiac.... long story short we are down to our family dog, 3 kittens, and our oldest is going to kindergarten vs. Me homeschooling her. With the upcoming move I won't be able to handle all what has been happening and give her the proper amount of attention.. I think it's ok to step back and recalibrate everything so you can avoid burnout! At least now, I can have the hope that next year will go much better! We are praying we can buy a house we found without covenants in order to get back into farming slowly as I am able to handle it. We all miss having animals but it was necessary in order for me to get better at this point. So, don't give up and my advice is to recalibrate and then keep pressing on!!!

Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee. ~Author Unknown

http://countryrenaissance.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/SunflowersAndHoney
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chickensforme
True Blue Farmgirl

90 Posts

Anne
Coopersburg Pa
USA
90 Posts

Posted - Aug 27 2014 :  07:12:02 AM  Show Profile
Hello girls, I agree not to take on so much in the very beginning. For years I dreamed of having some land to do a little farming and raising some animals. We moved about 5 years ago to a nice home that sits on 2 acres. Only negative is I was about 1 hr away from my grandchildren. We do bring them up a lot of weekends to be with us. I knew with my age (57)and still working part time that I could not do all the things I wanted. So I try to keep it simple. But still have a lot of dreams. I have a veggie garden and also a fruit garden. I have planted a few fruit trees. Next,in the spring I want chickens. I also want to put in blueberries and raspberries next year and add a few more flower gardens around the property. In the future I want to add bee's and some farm animals, a few sheep and maybe a few alpaca. But I will do this only if I can handle the work and hopefully when I retire I can live the rest of my life here doing what I love to do.

Love to all.

" A dog tail never lies "

Anne
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Lanna
True Blue Farmgirl

330 Posts

Lanna
A little town in Idaho
330 Posts

Posted - Sep 17 2014 :  01:52:02 AM  Show Profile
My homestead is miniscule compared to yours, but the work. never. ends.

I'm a homeschooling mom to four (4yo-10yo, in school we'd be bullied about putting a few of them on Ritalin, so much energy), we're part of a homeschool co-op (I'm teaching boy crafts and herbal remedies this session), we have friends we hang out with every so often, I have a decent sized garden we grow food in, we can a ton of food (quite literally, I buy peaches and apples by hundreds of pounds), we do homeopathic type medicine as a first course of action, and then there's all the necessary household things like cleaning and meal planning and such. I have to cook from scratch in part due to some of our allergies, mild compared to others, but we still very actively avoid them.

I could try to keep chickens, or I could try to peddle garden/herbal wares from outside my house, but I've already got enough on my plate. Maybe later on when the kids are older or on their own. I've had to say no to many, many things over the years, and am in a struggle of what to cut back on right now as it is. We *have* to focus more on school this year, unschooly though we may be, but at the same time we also *have* to put up enough fruit for the year because I only sometimes buy oranges and bananas during the winter. Some folks don't agree that food's a more important short-term thing than multiplication, which makes it challenging. Sigh.

So anyway. You have company in your overwhelmed-ness, if that helps any.



*****************
Lanna, homeschooling mama to four little monkeys that still try to jump on the bed
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houligan19
Farmgirl in Training

39 Posts

sarah
groton CT
39 Posts

Posted - Jan 14 2015 :  07:43:25 AM  Show Profile
I always wanted to have a little house in the country with a garden to grow my own food, maybe some chickens. We have recently made the move to Maine and bought 8 acres where we intend to have a full homestead off the grid where we will homeschool our children. Very simple life with lots of hard work. Very exciting time!

http://nepermhome.wordpress.com/
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Room To Grow
True Blue Farmgirl

974 Posts

Deborah
Kingston Georgia
USA
974 Posts

Posted - Dec 03 2015 :  7:01:14 PM  Show Profile
I am 59 and single. I have 8+ acres. I love my chickens and 5 dogs. But it does get to be to much sometimes. But I wouldn't give anything for what I have. I love it. It is very hard work. But it keeps me young at heart even if my body sometimes doesn't agree keep your head up. You are blessed tone able to live your dream
Deborah

I am now on my forever farm and very happy and blessed...GOD is so GOOD!!!
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KristiW
Moderator/Farmgirl True

639 Posts

Kristine
MaryJanesFarm
USA
639 Posts

Posted - Jan 03 2016 :  09:57:46 AM  Show Profile
You do have a lot on your plate Victoria, and sometimes putting a voice to our exhaustion helps. We spend a lot of time as a society trying to live up to someone else's picture perfect world, and I for one find your post refreshing in its honesty. Thank you for sharing. I hope you find the balance you need.

Kristine
Farmgirl Sister #6

Not all who wander are lost.
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DandeeRose
True Blue Farmgirl

1494 Posts

Alicia
Charlestown, IN
1494 Posts

Posted - Jan 03 2016 :  3:58:10 PM  Show Profile  Send DandeeRose a Yahoo! Message
I haven't read through all of the replies, but this very well COULD be me very soon. The main difference being, I homeschool my kiddos, so I will need time for lessons, but that also means I get a hand, not perfect, but helpful. We used those net fences in our woods for our goats, it can be a pain moving them by yourself, I remember! Hugs and prayers!!!!

Many Blessings- Alicia #5232
https://derbauernhofsite.wordpress.com

https://www.etsy.com/shop/DandeeRose Farmgirl Accessories and more!
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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