| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| cmandle |
Posted - Jul 08 2006 : 06:45:27 AM
I was a big journal writer back in the day and am starting a journal comeback now (thanks, Junebug for the awesome journal exchange! can't wait!). I have about eight volumes of old journals, written in cover-to-cover, decorated like scrapbooks, with photos and everything that I don't want my kids or anyone else to stumble across. I was in a long-term relationship with a man for the majority of my 20s and it didn't end well (it wasn't pleasant throughout it either, now that I think about it). I am now married to my dream man and living the happy life I had always hoped for.
So the question is: what do I do with these old journals that document all of my feelings, desires, hopes, and fears about being with this man? The volumes are not ALL about him - I chronicled my college days and big ideas about the world too - but they are pretty saturated with relationship drama.
They're in a box in the basement now, along with the photo albums from that time in my life. I don't want to be a revisionist, but I really don't want to have to share these with anyone in the future. I'm feeling more like I'll be able to pitch the photos someday, but my journals are such a close-up view into my younger self...harder to let go.
(And the reason I'm even worrying about this is that my sister and I were big treasure-hunters in my parents' stuff...I know kids like to dig!)
What do you think?
Catherine |
| 14 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| sunshine |
Posted - Aug 08 2006 : 08:18:47 AM
I just wanted to add I am trying to write a journal again just not good at that sort of thing. keeping it up to date that is.
have a lovely day and may God bless you and keep you safe
http://sunshinescreations.blogspot.com/
http://sunshine.harbaugh.googlepages.com/home |
| Kathigene |
Posted - Jul 23 2006 : 1:49:23 PM
I think Junebug is right. I don't think old diaries should be destroyed no matter what is in them. I had a rotten nasty childhood and my teenaged years were full of angst and self doubt but I would love to read my journals from then. First because I'm proud and happy of who I am today. And I wouldn't be that person without having had my past. Second because they are a reminder of how far I have come. From a sniveling whining person waiting for life to happen to a well adjusted woman who knows that if I want somethng to happen I had better do something to get it started.
As for keeping them private. What about a safty deposit box if you're really worried about others seeing them. I understand that they are not expensive and it would certainly give you peace of mind to know that no one but you can get into them. Or something securely locked at home although I don't think there is anything that a determined kid can't get into.
Kathy
Dogs make such good friends because they wag their tails rather then their tongues. |
| abbasgurl |
Posted - Jul 22 2006 : 9:25:26 PM
My high school journals were left behind in the attic of our old house TEN years ago! The "new" owners found them among other mementos a few months back and returned them to me. Oh my! I almost wish they had stayed lost! 
Of course my kids wanted me to read aloud from the journals whilst they heckled & jeered! LOL Instead I have them hidded deep beneath a mound of fabric in my studio. I am reading them one at a time and laughing at my excess silliness & drama!
I was glad to have recovered a few volumes of poetry I had written during that time period-but as for what to do with old journals, my suggestion...BURN THEM before anyone else can see them! 
Blessings,
Rhonda
...and I will sing at the top of my lungs, and I will dance, even if I'm the only one! |
| Amie C. |
Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 9:24:43 PM
I have to say I agree with Sunshine. Sometimes there are parts of the past that it's better to destroy. Now, I normally save everything. But last year I went through some boxes in the attic and threw away a lot of things from my high school days, including poetry and abortive journal attempts. Sometimes I wish I hadn't done it, but the bottom line is - I'm just so glad that I'm not that person anymore. What that writing represented was not experiences that made me who I am today, but rather a long and miserable exile away from my real self. I suppose it might have had some value for some one else someday, but for myself keeping that reminder around was a burden. I'd rather live my life than curate it.
Now, stuff that's just embarrassing is another story! I say keep it under lock and key until you don't care anymore and hand it down for posterity. Your grandchildren will have enough distance from you to appreciate it without pain.
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| Bluewrenn |
Posted - Jul 19 2006 : 10:25:28 PM
LOL - This reminds me of a funny story. When I went off to college, I left behind some old journals from high school. I have no idea where I'd put them - probably packed in a box, but many, many years later, my niece told me that she'd found them at my dad's house and had read one from when I was in 8th or 9th grade.... She kidded me about this one guy I had a crush on and made lots of jokes but when it came time to give me back my journal, she didn't want to let it go. Seems she was experiencing similar feelings and liked having the journal around to read when she was feeling depressed. Hmmmmm...
Maybe it helps her to know we all go through the same basic stuff.
Or maybe she also likes being able to tease me about things I'd long forgotten. |
| junebug |
Posted - Jul 08 2006 : 1:48:48 PM
I have journals dating back to jr. high school and up, some are from hard times, and I think destroying them would be a wrong thing to do, it was my life and helped to make me the person I am today. I keep them hidden, they are a reminder of how far I've come and grown. History all the same, and we learn from it.
www.sageflowerfarm.blogspot.com
www.herbalfarmstead.blogspot.com
www.countrypleasures.motime.com |
| cmandle |
Posted - Jul 08 2006 : 1:04:30 PM
Once again, the farmgirls are right on. I'm so glad I asked this question. Kate and Kim, I fully agree with your viewpoints about those hard times and dark thoughts having made us stronger. Jenny, my relationship was like a divorce without the wedding (LONG story for another time...) so I can imagine that my kids might wonder someday. I mean, it will be impossible for them to not come across a photo of this man who is not their Daddy. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
I love the idea of the hope chest or just locking them up though. That is a simple way to keep them out of everyone's reach!
I've long since gotten over the heartache with that relationship and have decided that I don't regret that it happened because it helped to shape who I am today. So I guess these journals are just the written record of that...to destroy them - for me - would be like erasing that part of my development completely. (However, Sunshine, I have to admit that I have thought about destroying them and your post made me go there again! But I don't think the time is right for that, for me, now.)
Thanks Farmgirls!
Catherine |
| Carolinagirl |
Posted - Jul 08 2006 : 12:38:20 PM
Sunshine, I appreciate your opinion about why you chose to get rid of your journals. I can completely understand how getting rid of the journals would be freeing and uplifting, like a weight off of your shoulders.
For me, the journals represent the life I have led, whether I like that or not, whether I am like the person I was then or not, and the person who I am now is in metamorphasis (sp)to the person I was then. No one is who they are now, without being who they were before (sounds silly but is true). All of my journals, including the one I write in now, are private to me, and have some not so flattering things in them- as I use them as a place to record my private thoughts. My more current ones (the last four or five years), I've started adding things I think my daughters will want to know about me or things they may be interested in. But mostly, the journals are for me. I would be embarassed and ashamed for some of the things in the really old journals, but destroying them wouldn't make those things go away or make those things that never happened in my life. I believe, unless people are specifically making up their writing (not sure why anyone would do that), then what shows up in a journal portrays the real person at the time. Who I was is, in part, who I became, who I am. |
| katiedid |
Posted - Jul 08 2006 : 12:36:29 PM
I have journals from the past that I wouldn't want my kids, or others to read, some of them contain my darkest thoughts....but I don't think I am at the point where I want to destroy them either. I think those hard times helped shape who I am. They made me a survivor. I guess I hope that maybe, someday, someone else might draw stregnth from my hard time. Maybe someone will be able to learn from my experiences. This is why I keep them. Hidden.
Love
Kate |
| sunshine |
Posted - Jul 08 2006 : 11:50:56 AM
My husband didn't make the dissision we talked about it I didn't like who I was then it was a person full of hate for the world and self destructive and suicidal. Not up lifting items. I want my kids to know that there mom had a hard child hood and you can live through anything but the details are not important they are destructive not uplifting. Not all things in life should be put to paper. The things that are uplifting and motivational sure comon every day things great that is neat to see how life was on an every day basses but when you are going through litteraly watching friends commit suicide and are thinking of it yourself that is not something any one should remember andd that is what is in those books. Not who I am now or before those two years of jouurnals those where the worst years of my life and they are gone and I would still be who I am today with or with out those 2 years of my life and waiting for my whole future family to judge their mother or grandmother by just two bad years on my life instead the 30+ happy years isn't correct either it is a false identy they would know not who I really am 99.9 % of the time.
If the journal portray the real you then keep them if not then you are misleading future generations as to who you are.
It is up to the individual to decide what is worth saving and what is not. If two differnt peoples houses burn to the ground and each was aloud to grab three things to save do you think they would grab the same things probably not because each indivdual has diffent things they value to keep or destroy a journal is an indivdual desision and one not taken lightly all the imput from others doesn't change that. I also destroyed 15 years of love letters before I got married. My husband didn't even know I had them till 3 weeks after I destroyed them. The reason is as follows I love my husband he is the only man I should ever think of romanticly and keeping old letters is like keeping skeletons in the closet and comparing I don't want to compare him to any one he is the best husband I should ever want. He is very dear and respectful of me and our kids he lovelying and gental and a hard worker. I can honestly say none beter. Living in the past doesn't help my future and life is in the future not he past.
have a lovely day and may God bless you and keep you safe
http://sunshinescreations.blogspot.com/
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| Carolinagirl |
Posted - Jul 08 2006 : 11:11:29 AM
I think it's important for children to know who there parents were, and how they became the person they became (the parents). Destroying those memories or words from my heart (I am a writer, so I believe that words are a very important tool) would be destroying who I was, and without that, I wouldn't be who I am now. Whether I read them again, or anyone else does after I'm gone, I don't think I would have the heart to destroy them. It would be like kicking who I was, the person writing those things, in the head. Also, as they are very personal, I couldn't let anyone else help me make the decision what to do with them. |
| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Jul 08 2006 : 10:37:31 AM
I have my oldest ones buried deep in a trunk that I keep craft stuff in my living room. I wouldn't want my kids to read them either. I feel like I used them as a sounding board to complain only and not sharing very many nice stuff. I make a real effort now to have a happier voice in my journal. It is a hard thing to know what to do with those old ones though. I am the same person..but happier for sure. I do think my oldest sons may someday want to see how I felt when I was going through the divorce and stuff from their dad. They were young and don't remember alot..especially my second son. I will hang onto them for now..but out of sight for sure!
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
| sunshine |
Posted - Jul 08 2006 : 08:11:34 AM
My husband read my old journals when we where dating . After reading them ( he sneeked them out of my grandmothers attick where I had hid them in an old truck from collage) he asked did I really like what was in the journals and did I still think I was that person I said no his resons was I don't think you are that person and no one should ever read these and think of me as that person as I had changed so much ( for the better). So we sat down together and burned them. You know what I am glad I did there where things in there I did not want to remember let alone my children. It is bad enough my husband knows things I never would have said. Some case it is best to get on with your life and if hte memory fades maybe it should. If there is stuff in there that you want sit down and write that part.
have a lovely day and may God bless you and keep you safe
http://sunshinescreations.blogspot.com/
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| Carolinagirl |
Posted - Jul 08 2006 : 07:15:55 AM
Ahhh... Catherine. All of my teen journals are like that. I have mine in my "hopechest" (my bedside table now), under lock and key. When I die, my girls can read them, but until then, they will remain "secret." I think that the memories are important to preserve, although I can't even bring myself to go back and read them, so I won't throw them out or burn them. I wouldn't be unhappy to see someone who doesn't know me end up with the journals, kind of like how I enjoy reading old journals now.
Kim in NC
(PS- thanks for the card! It was so nice to come home and have penpal letters here! Something is coming your way soon. Still digging out of under the laundry from the trip!) |
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