| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| princesspatches |
Posted - May 29 2012 : 4:57:34 PM
So today I am going through all the sports schedules for the kids and getting everything on the calander.....YIKES! We are out of the house everyday until the end of july!
One in soccer, one in softball, one in tennis. I have a part-time job. Graduation parties.....etc....
I am freaking out! This summer is looking dreadful to me right now. I like to be at home, cooking and gardening and keeping up with the house.
How do other parents handle the overwhelming schedules? Do you tell your kids 'no'?
Arttie |
| 11 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| princesspatches |
Posted - May 31 2012 : 7:06:08 PM
Ohh..Nini...
No offeense taken. I feel the same way about all this running around. We moved to the country for a simpler life. I love being home and hanging out, just working in the yard of baking.
Today the schedule was AGIAN added to with dentist appointments, dog grooming and my daughters babysitting schedule. Yikes.
It'll will all work out. (my new mantra....hehe)
Arttie |
| erowease |
Posted - May 31 2012 : 11:27:27 AM
I think the key is trying to figure out how to find balance so we can take care of ourselves too.
Lesley
"I see God in the eyes of every child...every life is precious to God, whatever the circumstances." Mother Teresa |
| delicia |
Posted - May 31 2012 : 08:58:25 AM
I don't have any kids that I run around with at this point but, between work, my family and church activities I feel I run constantly. I love just to be at home and get feeling overwhelmed when I know that I am out every night. My problem is me, I can not say no. I feel so horrible if I have to say that I can't do something. |
| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - May 31 2012 : 08:53:43 AM
I agree exactly Nini. I am not judging any one who does organized sports. But, my personal feeling is I get a lot more fun time with my kids with me then running around to all the "stuff". A sweet note, last night my oldest DD was in trouble. My husband bent down and scooped her up, at first she thought he was going to put her in time out or something, but instead he just hugged her. It was a sweet moment and totally turned the tide that the evening with her was heading in. I have to wonder if that moment had happened had we been spent from going all over the place earlier.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| Ninibini |
Posted - May 31 2012 : 08:10:37 AM
Oh, Arttie - I hope you didn't take my comments personally... they were not in any way directed at you. I have a friend who has completely "sold out" where her daughter is concerned and it has been weighing heavily on my mind. Her daughter, her husband and she are all miserable for all the activities and running around they do, and yet my girlfriend insists her daughter "participate in everything possible" in order to keep up her social status and in the hopes that her "well-rounded-ness" will make her more desirable to potential colleges. It's insane. This is not the way we used to talk about raising our kids, and she feels so lost outside of her daughter's life; she is more of a chauffeur than a mother, and her daughter is miserable because she needs a break from everything, but her mother won't let her miss a thing. And the daughter herself still presents all these "opportunities" for activities and social interactions, but the whines - and resents her mother - about having to participate when it's time to do so. It's insanity. It seems like their family unit, which used to be so strong and so close, is just falling apart, and yet they don't do a thing to make it stop. So, that's where my soapbox stand came from. :)
I applaud your decisions and I think it's great that the person who signs the kids up will have to accept responsibility. That would be so unfair otherwise. :)
- Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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| rphelps4 |
Posted - May 31 2012 : 07:46:29 AM
I know also being a single mom, sometime I think I meet myself on the road, but honestly those days go by so quickly, then your kids are gone and you kinda miss it all.I know it's hard to believe while your so busy, but trust me. Roxanna |
| erowease |
Posted - May 31 2012 : 07:36:06 AM
I spent so much time running around with my kids when they were younger as a single mom its hard to figure out what to do with my time now that they are grown and gone. I am re-learning how to do all those activities I never had time for when they were younger. Yes putting a limit on the ex's commitments is a good idea. If they want the kids to participate they need to share the burden of getting them to the events. I often wonder how my parents survived it years ago before the advent of cellphones etc. to get the three of us to the many different places we needed to go. I think the key of survival for one of my friends is to take a fun project to work on while they are at soccer/baseball/basketball practice. She usually takes a handstitch project or knitting, even reads a book sometimes so that she gets some "Me" time at the same time.
Lesley
"I see God in the eyes of every child...every life is precious to God, whatever the circumstances." Mother Teresa |
| princesspatches |
Posted - May 31 2012 : 04:00:09 AM
Well, we have each kid in one activity each. so when you put it like that it is not much, but when you put all the kids together....WOW. the other problem we have is we are a 'blended family'. So the other parents are signing the kids up for things. We did put our foot down with Hubby's ex-wife. Told her if the kids were signed up.....she got to do all the 'running'. So now the rule is "whoever signs them up....does the driving".
we are going to invest in a couple of mopeds this summer and the 2 young teens get can themselves around a little more. They both have summer jobs. I am going to let them have a bit more independance.
It all works itself out. But when your putting all on paper it can be soooooooo overwhelming.
Thanks
Arttie |
| Ninibini |
Posted - May 30 2012 : 10:14:26 AM
I don't have any problem with organized activities, etc., however you have to wonder when enough is enough. We all need down time, time to be creative on our own, and time to learn to entertain ourselves. The way things are today, kids don't seem to really learn how to shut off or how to discover things for and about themselves. If we continually stimulate them, how will they adjust when we do say no? How will they ever discover themselves? I had become caught up in all of that for a while when our son was little. But we found out he wasn't truly happy. He hated playing football, for one (a HUGE deal in our town), and although he loved playing soccer, some days he was just tired and needed some sleepy growth down time. We also had him involved in other activities, but one day he said he just wanted to stay home and "play with my Dad. He's a lot more fun." After that, we really tried to evaluate what we were doing as far as scheduling him to the hilt like other parents. We also started to let him lead us. We would offer to do different activities, but if he didn't show interest, we didn't make a big deal out of it. Funny thing is, he has more friends than most other kids his age. They love just hanging out or swimming or occasionally tossing a ball around. Sometimes we offer to take his friends with us on family outings, and sometimes it's just the three of us. Our son is extremely well-rounded, and has no problem integrating in a social setting, even when he's the newbie in the crowd. I don't think it's healthy to schedule an entire summer's worth of activities. Summer should be about relaxation and fun. Fun doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of money or be somewhere where there is organized activities. It simply means enjoying time as it passes, sometimes in quiet alone or down time, other times with family and friends. Why do we feel the need to put so much pressure on their little lives like that? Why do we feel the need to teach them that their identity is wrapped up in being part of a group or in their accomplishments in a group setting? Yes, social interaction is important, but it has its place. "Everything in moderation," my Grandfather would say. Whatever happened to personal fulfillment and personal achievement? Why do we need to teach them that relaxing is a bad thing? Are we confused between relaxation and laziness? There's a huge difference there. I think if we allowed them to wind down a little more, they might be less hyper, less demanding, less dissatisfied, better nutritioned (no more grabbing something on the run), more self-assured, secure, and all around happier kids. I think sometimes as a society we put too much pressure on kids "to do" rather than "to be," and in so doing, we do the same to ourselves. How healthy can that be? In some ways, it's almost like teaching them that it is important to cave to peer pressure and be part of that all-important group and do what everyone else says. That's not right at all. I want my son to decide for himself what is important, to think for himself and be able to stand up against the grain if he knows something is wrong or unhealthy or antithetical to who he is as an individual. I don't want him to cave to someone else's dictate. "No" is not a nasty word... Why are we so afraid to say it, especially when it gives our kids what they need most? I say give them some freedom just to be, and give ourselves some much needed peace! "Don't worry - be happy!" :) - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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| MagnoliaWhisper |
Posted - May 30 2012 : 09:07:55 AM
we say no.....my husband and I both grew up not being in organized sports and I think we are fine. We do know games/sports from just playing with our friends in the park, church/family gatherings etc.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
| Hoosiermom |
Posted - May 30 2012 : 04:56:16 AM
I just told my husband the same thing this weekend & we only have 1 child & I don't feel like he is really involved in too much, but there is something every weekend until school starts back in August. Whether it is 4-H,boy scout camp, graduation parties, weddings, something...I am also a homebody & am overwhelmed at this busy schedule already!
Beth |
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