| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| bboopster |
Posted - Oct 12 2006 : 06:31:26 AM
As I sit here this morning drinking my coffee looking out the windows into our woods I can not seem to do any thing but cry. Maybe it's the 60+ hour weeks, my cold, hormones, the snow on the ground but most of all my youngest son leaves for boot camp next week. I should be use to this as he is following his older brothers foot steps. I'm not scared as a matter of fact I am very proud of my boys decsions to join the Army. Must be the empty nest syndrom hitting. Funny how the nest has been empty since March when the last one moved out. Must be that all 5 of my children are adults and living their lives as the should and as I encourage them to do. But why must it hurt so much!!! I guess it must be the closing of this part of life and moving into the next stage. I've been careing for kids fo 30 years. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to move into the next phase. I have two weddings next year possiably 3 and then I'm sure the grandchildren will start coming as my one daughter has been waiting to be a mom since she was in second grade and decide that she wanted to be a teacher (she is) and to be a mom just like me (not sure why I was tuff). So that's my saga of an middle age adult with an empty nest and a wonderful future ahead and tears duluting my coffee on a sunny snowy fall day. 
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
| 8 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| bboopster |
Posted - Oct 15 2006 : 05:59:21 AM
Kelly you are welcome to come anytime as are the rest of the farmgirls. I again thank all of you for listening to my whining. Today I am off with my clients to a Buckskinner Encampment complete with costume to join in in the fun. 
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
| Kelly43 |
Posted - Oct 13 2006 : 8:35:21 PM
Betty Jo, glad to see you smilin' again. Sounds like you needed that old fashioned slumber party, especially with the updates!! And I want to come next time. You sound like the Queen of slumber parties! Know that we are always here for you if you ever need us!!
Kel
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| bboopster |
Posted - Oct 13 2006 : 2:59:31 PM
Hello, Thank you ALL for your support. I got done writing and was balling out of control when I went Enough! I got dressed put on lipstick (only used for that special occasion) and went to the trift stores in town. On the way I called a few friends and found my cousin was not busy, MH day from work and she came over and we had an old fashion PJ party. Well not entirly old fashion as we had wine, steak, lobster, and cheese cake!!!!! Laughed and cried and laughed some more. She stay over night and left late this afternoon. Candace, thanks for the web site I will look it up. I will never love my son that much during boot camp. His other 2 brothers told us tales of the embaressement that some of the guys had to pursue. I do love sending my middle son in Iraq stuff but he hates to share and I can never send enough summer sausage to make them all happy. I'm also a mom of 5, with two wedding in 2007 maybe 3, and they pretty much all left in a swoop too. Then we move to a new city where I know no one. Guess I need to find some time to jion the nature conservetroy too. Lorij, I'm feeling somewhat cheerier and going down to my craft studio to start unpacking it. Time to get back to my handi-crafts. And I am really thinking about changing my job at work. Right now I'm a group home manger for the disabled and work 60+ hours a week for peanuts and health insurance. I can take a care givers postions for less then peanuts but still keep the health insurance but give up all the responsiablities of mangement. I am so over qualified for my present position that it makes me crazy because upper mangement is under qualified. We really need the health insurance and I think with enough hard work here at home in my craft studio and gardens I can make some cash to make up for the additional cut in pay. But the really nice part would be 30 hours and just having fun with my clients. This new job has been really hard since I left a job I loved in education because my husband and I need health insurance (he's self employed). I think I'll send out some resume's too.
Thank you all again for your support and hugs!!!!!!! Off to my studio to organize!
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
| Norskema |
Posted - Oct 12 2006 : 8:15:16 PM
Hey Betty Jo, a big HOOAH and a hug from an army mom. It sure is tough and I worried and worried but the army is the best thing that happened to my son, overall. He is just back from a year in Iraq (he could have skipped that part) but he made it. I don't know how much you know about the military but my lifesaver was a website called militarymoms.net. It tells you all the things they go through and you can ask questions there.. very supportive and not political. It isn't a place to complain, it's where mothers and wives go to hold each other up. The best advice I heard was from a mom who said to not love your son too much while he is at boot camp. If you send cookies, his drill sgt. will make him eat everything you send, if you try to call him, everyone will end up doing a zillion pushups (getting smoked). The funniest story was about a mom who loved her son very much. AT the end of bootcamp they have a wonderful graduation ceremony. She sent her 18 yr old son a balloon bouquet to celebrate his special day. He ended up having to carry it around everywhere he went, including the obstacle course. Be sure to write me if you ever need to vent. I'm a mom of 5, had 3 weddings in 3 years and they all left in one big swoop. It's very odd, indeed!
Every way of a man seems right to himself but the Lord is the tester of hearts. Proverbs 21:2 |
| Libbie |
Posted - Oct 12 2006 : 11:52:00 AM
Betty Jo - I'm sending a huge farmgirl (((HUG))) to you. Re-read Alee's last paragraph when you have the chance - I just did, and she sums up so beautifully what I want to say to my mother and father, and what I am GOING to call and say today. Just imagine - I really believe that those sentiments are what your children have in their hearts too. Good job, mom.
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
| Aunt Jenny |
Posted - Oct 12 2006 : 08:44:02 AM
Oh Betty Jo..I feel for ya. I dealt with empty nest by adopting more kids...(not really..would have done it anyhow...just sounds good) and my nest wasn't really empty...two of the grown boys were still home until 4 years ago when we moved here. I hate that feeling watching one of my grown boys drive away though. I will sure keep you in my prayers. ONly one of my boys (my oldest) has been military..he is a medic in the Army reserves and is inactive right now...and boy it is even scarier. We are here for you. And Lori is right..chocolate is very neccessary.
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
| Alee |
Posted - Oct 12 2006 : 07:23:54 AM
My first baby is still "in the oven" but I sympathize with your feelings. My mom and I are very close (even though we still have a healthy fight every once and a while). I have three older sisters and I am the youngest. I watched my mom go through the process with each one of us leaving and I think it was hardest on both of us when I left because of this. I was always the independent spirting saying "I don't want any kids, I want to live a grand life" and yet when the time came- I waited till the summer was almost gone to apply to colleges and I had not real plans. Leaving was just so weird once it came down to it.
My mom and I talk _all_ the time on the phone, and I think that helps. She also is very active in our home town community with other artists and crafters. She is on the Historical Preservation Society and 2 of my sisters now live in the same town. So she gets to see them and the grandkids alot.
Long story short- I think that when the time comes, each mom must deal with this in a their own way, but I think that keeping in touch with the kids is really important. Speaking from a kid's perspective- When we leave the nest is one of the times in our lives that we need you the most!
And for all the kids who haven't yet realized this or haven't said it to their mothers- I will let your know- All those times you were tough on us- we actually appreciated it. For all those times that you held us while we dealt with the dramas in our lives- we actually appreciated it. For all the times that we were snotty or destructive for no good cause- we are are grateful for you patience and love and yes- even the discipline that sometimes followed. For all the times when we were foolish or foolhardy, but you looked the other way when we were embarassed about it- we appreciated it. All the times you sacrificed something of yours or doing something you wanted to do so that we were happy- we are deeply grateful and humbled. We kids love you- our parents and can never repay you for all the things you have done and sacrificed for us. |
| katie-ell |
Posted - Oct 12 2006 : 07:06:57 AM
Betty Jo -- What a time of transition for you -- made all the more difficult as you say goodbye to your youngest and send him into the difficult and honorable job of being a soldier. And the cold snow doesn't help either, does it?? Wish I could be there to give you a little huggggggg.
Moving into the next phase should center on you! What have you always wanted more time for? Do you love to cook? Sew? Are you a good organizer? Do you work outside the home -- do you want to? Do you want to run a home business? Reach out into the community, too. Volunteer organizations are always looking for good, strong, capable women!!
I always begin a new phase by c-l-e-a-n-i-n-g -- something very cathartic about that. Maybe start a little redecorating project -- your bedroom? or a kitchen nook?
Anyway, take some time to inventory what you want to do for yourself and what you can do for others. Have 'nuther cup of tea and know that we FarmGirls are with you. |
