| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Sue Feely |
Posted - Jan 19 2011 : 07:36:11 AM
Hello fellow farmgirls! A few of you know that my husband have been taking care of my MIL the past few months. She is 91, is blind and wears 2 hearing aids. She has multiple health problems including congestive heart failure which is causing her body to fill up with fluid. She lives only about 2 miles from us.
We knew this day would come when a decision would have to be made of what to do with my MIL. My husband has 3 other siblings all of whom live out of state. Most of these siblings are no help with mom at all, but they have always voiced their opinion that they dont want her in a nursing home.
Well things are going from bad to worse with her health, she is no longer able to care for herself at all. My husband and I made the decision to move in with her-I am having a very hard time adjusting to this! I dont mind at all taking care of her, but leaving my home is the problem!
We have to move in with my MIL as her bedroom and bathroom is on the first floor, where are bathrom and bedrooms are all upstairs. I have been bringing some of my belongings over to make this transition smoother, my sewing machine will be next today!
My husbands sister who lives nearest in PA has just fallen and broken her arm, she needed surgery and is casted, she has taken her mom to her home few times a year to give us a break but now she has to try to care for herself. The other 2 siblings live in FL and we are lucky if they even call my MIL once a week!
I would love some words of wisdom and prayers as I make this difficult transition from my farmgirl friends if you have any!
Sue
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| Beverley |
Posted - Jan 21 2011 : 12:58:37 PM
I will also add you to my prayer list that God can comfort you in this time...
Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett
Beverley with an extra E...
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| eggfarmgirl |
Posted - Jan 19 2011 : 8:33:21 PM
Praying for you as well. That is very admirable of you to take this on and leave your home. Here we have and Area agency for the aging that gives releif to families caring for their family members. Does she have any disease that would make her eligable for hospice care? Weird qiestion I know, but Hospice was a God send for me for my Mother and my husband. Praying for answers and help for you !!
Hugs...Kristy
"Live like you were dyin'"
Sis #2339
Scattered Prairie Gals Chapter
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My studio Blog- http://www.lostcreekstudio.blogspot.com |
| LindaJo |
Posted - Jan 19 2011 : 5:03:40 PM
Praying for you Sue. Blessings
Art cleans the dust of everyday life from the soul. Picasso |
| Mommyswanson |
Posted - Jan 19 2011 : 10:19:35 AM
Hi Sue
My prayers are with you. I lived with my MIL for 14 years & helped care for her until she passed away at the age of 96 this past fall. We used the agency Home Instead to provide us time away as we have young children & Grandma was often unable or unwilling to come along. I do believe they offer services in your area and sometimes they are covered by insurance. Good luck! I know this is an exhausting thing at times but also such a wonderful way to show your love & devotion to your husband as your care for his Mom. Good Luck!@ My prayers are with you.
Laura
Here is the website for the home care service we used.
www.homeinstead.com
"That which does not kill us makes us strong!" "I cast all my cares upon you Lord." |
| Fiddlehead Farm |
Posted - Jan 19 2011 : 10:02:19 AM
Praying for you my dear friend Sue. What a wonderful, yet difficult thing you are doing for your MIL.
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Happy to be a "Raggedy Ann" in a Barbie World!
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| debtea2 |
Posted - Jan 19 2011 : 09:29:32 AM
sue its so hard on DILs as i kow i care onand off for my MIL and she is very difficult
we are considering a home for her as its coming increasingly harder and she has o idea who we are
most times and becomes violent and abusive the only saving grace is that she is very old and feeble so she can't do any damage and she can not speak english anymore so i have no idea what she is saying ..so the nursing home will probably be a good thing as she won't know the difference and she will get constant care and attention by professionals and the home is very nice and clean and close by..
you might be able to get a home health aid in paid for by medicare call or go onlie and check and some towns have adult day care centers for elderly with health problems..
but the only one who should decide are the caregivers..you will know when you have had enough..
prayer that you ca return to your own home soon..
blessings deborah
http://jerseyfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
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| Cherime |
Posted - Jan 19 2011 : 08:49:13 AM
You should be able to get some help to care for her in her own home and relive you and give you some time off. You need to call around, maybe AARP can help you find some of what you need. Meanwhile praying for your peace and comfort from His mighty hand.
CMF |
| Nancy Gartenman |
Posted - Jan 19 2011 : 08:38:17 AM
Boy Sue, what a wonderful and very hard thing you are doing. I would call a service of some sort. Check under family services. You could also have a day girl come in and they are a lot of help, MY daughter in law works for a service, and she goes to different houses and gives baths, and what ever else needs done. Sometimes just stays with them while other people living in the home can't always be there. Perhaps Medicare would pay for this. Can't do everything yourself and you can't feel guilty for asking for help.
www.Nancy-Jo.blogspot.com |
| buffypuff |
Posted - Jan 19 2011 : 07:52:24 AM
Wow Sue, what a dilemma. You most certainly have my prayers. Not sure I have anything to offer as far as advice. I know that your MIL must be on Medicare etc. Is there a way in which after talking to those who might know, you could be paid for being caretakers? Is there a way, that visiting chore help or nurses or someone could give you some relief? Could the remaining siblings pitch in monetarily to help with finances? Don't know if this gives you some ideas or not...but back to praying for you...yes I will.
Buffypuff/ Claudia
Farmgirl & Sister #870
"Half of success is the assurance of support along the way." cr
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