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**Welcome Wagon:  Empty Nest?  |
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ranchhandwife
Farmgirl in Training
15 Posts
Karen
Tonasket
WA
USA
15 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 19 2007 : 2:16:00 PM
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Well our son just graduated from High School and he is leaving for the Navy on the 18th of July. I am in two minds about this. Proud of him for serving our Country but also apprehensive.
We had two boys - the oldest is 26 and lives about an hour from us. He plans to take over the ranch in about 3 years. He and his wife (married last September) will build a house on the place and we'll stay here in our log home.
I'm going to miss our Navy boy but am also looking forward to it being just hubby and me.
Karen
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2007 : 2:37:59 PM
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Hi Karen My son is in the Navy too. 12 years now, thank goodness for e-mail, even when deployed he has been able to stay in touch often and with e-mail we don't have time zone issues. LOL. We are empty nesters too, our daughter left home 8 years ago for the Air Force, she was in five and a half years and now lives in Maryland. An empty house does take some getting used to, but it is so fun when they come home for a visit.
Hugs, Kathy |
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britchickny
True Blue Farmgirl
1048 Posts
Angie
Port Orange
Florida
1048 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2007 : 3:35:25 PM
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Karen, my son will be graduating this Saturday from High school and going to school in Florida in August (we are in NY) he will also be Air Force ROTC so I anticipate some traveling and separation for us! I am also torn between letting him go but also looking forward to it being just me and my husband. I guess this is just one of life's mile-stones!
Angie.
"Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance" JUDE 1:2 |
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Carol Sue
True Blue Farmgirl
4033 Posts
Carol Sue
Washingtonian
USA
4033 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2007 : 4:03:43 PM
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Hey girls slowly but surely it does get better and your relationships with them change to more adult peers. It makes it fun, we will always be there mom's.
By the way, the hubby and me part is nice too.
Carol Sue
Life is short, enjoy every moment. |
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Runbikegrrl
True Blue Farmgirl
250 Posts
MaryAnn
Waterbury Ctr
VT
USA
250 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2007 : 4:11:44 PM
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I'm a single mom so it's especially difficult for me. My youngest was suppose to be heading off to college on a scholarship combination academic and athletic...but he totally screwed up and got himself kicked out of school 3 weeks before graduation for violation of the alcohol policy. He is feeling like everything is hopeless right now. He can get his diploma but he needs to complete a bunch of things and it looks like his scholarships may be revoked. In any case I think this incident pointed out that he is NOT ready for the independance of college. If he stays here in VT he is going to end up an alcoholic in a dead end job...that just the way it goes. So right now I am trying to decide if I want to take out a 35,000 loan( that will take me the next 20 years to pay off) to send him to a PG year....I had thought about suggesting the military...but it would be such a waste of his athletic talents and perhaps his brains if he didn't end up in the right career field. It's so hard...and I thought I would be suffering from empty nest too
"So many interests so little time!"
http://lovelifelivegrrl.blogspot.com/ |
Edited by - Runbikegrrl on Jun 19 2007 4:12:49 PM |
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Annie S
True Blue Farmgirl
756 Posts
Annie
Custer
S.D.
USA
756 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2007 : 6:33:51 PM
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Welcome Karen. Trust me, you'll get use to the empty nest really fast. It's a great time for just you and your husband to get back in touch with one another - take a nice romantic trip that you've always wanted to see, but couldn't because of the kids. Learn new things to do together. It's sort of like just getting married again (only you're older) and discovering each other again. The kids are only an e-mail or phone call away and when they come to visit or you go to them, it will mean so much more. This is your time now - enjoy it.
MaryAnn - do you have any facilities in your area for your son to go to for help. Sounds like it was just a one-time-deal, so maybe if he showed that he was responsible enough to get help he could keep his scholarships and move on with his life. Best of luck to you and your son. I know what you're going through - went through the same thing with my son his last two years of high school. But now his a hard working, responsible 36 year old who will be getting married for the first time next month. It takes a lot of tough love and crying, but you and your son will get through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son.
Peace and love.
Annie |
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Buttercup
True Blue Farmgirl
1433 Posts
Talitha
Vermont
USA
1433 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2007 : 7:55:28 PM
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Nope no empty nest here, and still have a ways to go *sigh* Maybe I should move close to all my empty nest farm gals so you all enjoy my four when you need to remember why an empty nest is wonderful!!  I am sure it has its ups and downs, but for me am looking forward to it!
But even though I do not fit in this question, I wanted to stop by and welcome you to the bestest  place online!! I do so hope you enjoy it!
Hugz!
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2007 : 10:24:28 PM
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| Annie - oh how I wish what you said was true for me. My youngest has been gone for about 3 years, and I'm still grieving. I am having a really tough time - I feel sometimes like my life no longer has a purpose. It is a slow process for me - I thought when the kids were gone, it would be "our time" but DH is working 6 10's and commuting 3-4 hours a day, so there is no time for us. Maybe when he retires.... |
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Runbikegrrl
True Blue Farmgirl
250 Posts
MaryAnn
Waterbury Ctr
VT
USA
250 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 04:10:29 AM
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Thanks Annie - Have any of you though about doing foster care? That crossed my mind...because if and when Jon gets his act together and is out of the house it will seem strange not to have a kid around after 25 years of it....maybe I'll just find a husband instead I just don't know what I will do without someone to cook for and fuss over
"So many interests so little time!"
http://lovelifelivegrrl.blogspot.com/ |
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Horseyrider
True Blue Farmgirl
1045 Posts
Mary Ann
Illinois
1045 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 04:19:40 AM
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Sherri, what else do you have in your life?
I really feel that we all need a something else besides our families, something for which we have real passion. What about gardening, or painting, or crafts of some sort? Is there something you've always sort of wanted to try, but never got around to because you didn't figure you had the $$$ or time? Now's the time to invest in yourself and your mental health, and find a new passion or develop or return to an old one.
Me, I have my horses. I adore horses; I walk/talk/eat/drink/live/breathe horses. It kept me grounded and sane when my kids left, and helped me to remember that my kids were only doing what I raised them to do, which was to become independent, responsible, hard working young women. Now I have grandchildren, which are the light of my life. While there's a real chance that someday they may move further than the hour away that I live, I'll still have my horses. I also garden, love antiques, and actually come in the house these days to cook a meal or maybe vacuum. Well maybe not vacuum. 
But be proud of yourself! They're doing as you raised them to do. You did your job well.
Hi, other Mary Ann! I'm so sorry about the hard time you're son is having. The only difference between your son and a gazillion other graduating seniors is yours got caught. Maybe this is a really good thing for him. One of the hardest things for a lot of people to learn is the inexorable cost of consequences for our actions. It's sad that his lesson had to be such a harsh one, but if he learns from it, he can still grow to be a terrific man. And I don't think the military is necessarily such a waste of his talents. If he's athletic, he has an advantage over many in boot camp. If he's smart, he should consider officer's training. The military gets a lot of dumb grunts with no brains, that's for sure. But they're more than willing to develop those that are intelligent. My uncle was a Navy man who earned his PhD while serving, and he was the director for a hospital aboard an aircraft carrier for most of his career. His pay and benefits were outstanding.
There are some really nice things about the empty nest. The baby birds aren't the only ones set free to do what they love. |
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 08:53:53 AM
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| Mary Ann - I have my own business - I design and create children's clothing and accessories and sell them at craft shows. But, lately, I've been neglecting the business - being alone at home so much in a town where I know no one has been getting to me. I have been treated for depression in the past but I haven't had any symptoms for several years. It may be time to tell my doc it's back. Really, all I can think of when I try to get my mind off the past is moving to our cabin, and having DH there with me. He has 5 long years to retirement. |
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Kathie
True Blue Farmgirl
2436 Posts
Kathie
Thonotosassa
Florida
USA
2436 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 09:22:53 AM
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Well hello there Karen!!
Welcome to Mary janes Farm!!
You will love all the kind words.. close friends & companionship you find here as well as a place for resources & tips & just a place to share.. as you can ALREADY see!!! Everyone is always so eager to help or let you know your not alone .. but in a big world full of Farm Girl Sisters who have loads of experience in one area or another!!
So.. glad you found us.. !
Kathie
In a World Where you Can Be Anything, Be Yourself.. |
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Kathie
True Blue Farmgirl
2436 Posts
Kathie
Thonotosassa
Florida
USA
2436 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 09:26:20 AM
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We actually had this topic going somewhere didn't we Sherri?.. Mary Ann (runbikegrrl)..? in another post.. about us being so down about the empty nesting.. somewhere other then the Welcome wagon..?
We Could move our thoughts there & pick up again.. where the heck was that? Sherri? Rememeber.. I was really whining that day too..
In a World Where you Can Be Anything, Be Yourself.. |
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 09:30:58 AM
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| Kathie - I'll try to find it and bump it. |
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 09:33:09 AM
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| I bumped it to the top of Across The Fence. |
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sherone_13
True Blue Farmgirl
2460 Posts
Sherone
Evanston
WY
USA
2460 Posts |
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Kathie
True Blue Farmgirl
2436 Posts
Kathie
Thonotosassa
Florida
USA
2436 Posts |
Posted - Jun 21 2007 : 08:09:57 AM
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Sherri your too good.. I never can find anything!!
You should see my desk!
Thanks!
In a World Where you Can Be Anything, Be Yourself.. |
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ranchhandwife
Farmgirl in Training
15 Posts
Karen
Tonasket
WA
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - Jun 21 2007 : 2:15:59 PM
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Mary Ann - so sorry about your disappointment. I believe the military can offer many wonderful things. My son is an avid musician and would like to make music his career. He is going to audition for the Navy Band (he plays the flute) and will also take college courses while serving; paid for by the Navy.
Recruits are placed according to their military tests results. I can't remember the name of the test but your recruitment center could give you the information.
Good Luck and Best Wishes
Karen |
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lambgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
93 Posts
Heidi
Ellensburg
wa
USA
93 Posts |
Posted - Jun 21 2007 : 10:06:24 PM
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Welcome Karen,
I lived in Tonasket for a couple years, it is very beautiful there. You will really enjoy getting to know all these lovely farm girls. When ever I feel lonely or down I log on and feel instantly better.
Heidi |
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cinnamongirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1682 Posts
Carrie
Canada
1682 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2007 : 8:25:13 PM
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| Welcome! |
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Annie S
True Blue Farmgirl
756 Posts
Annie
Custer
S.D.
USA
756 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2007 : 11:59:54 AM
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Karen and MaryAnne, you have your resouces right here. Whenever you get down in the dumps and feel lonely or need someone to talk to, you know you can come here and just let it all out and get feedback from everyone. We've all been there/done that, so we're here for you in a big way. Our arms are giving you big hugs of friendship and understanding.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Annie |
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2007 : 1:15:12 PM
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| I can attest to that. I started a topic on empty nest a couple of weeks before yours, and I got lots of help from the farmgals here. No judgement, just support and open arms. |
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katmom
True Blue Farmgirl
17453 Posts
Grace
WACAL Gal
WashCalif.
USA
17453 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2007 : 11:38:11 PM
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Hey Karen,
Welcome and jump in & fun here @ MJF....hoprfully we willkeep you busy enough so you won't be worrying all the timeabout your Navy son.
How wonderful that your other son wants to take over the farm.
>^..^< Happiness is being a katmom.
www.katmom4.blogspot.com |
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MullersLaneFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
596 Posts
Rock Falls
IL
596 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2007 : 10:34:19 AM
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Hi Karen and welcome!
I have 2 out of the house, one still home and a 4th that isn't ours but is with us every weekend and is staying the summer with us.
A big thank you to your son and choosing the Navy. My oldest son is Naval ROTC, Marine option at college right now.
Cyndi
Muller's Lane Farm http://www.mullerslanefarm.com
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ranchhandwife
Farmgirl in Training
15 Posts
Karen
Tonasket
WA
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2007 : 7:34:44 PM
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Heidi -
I lived in Ellensburg for 3 1/2 years. Like Tonasket area better! We live in the mountains between Tonasket and Republic. Been here on the ranch for 29 years (ye gads!).
How long ago did you live in Tonasket?
Karen |
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Cheryl
True Blue Farmgirl
919 Posts
Cheryl
Magalia
CA
USA
919 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2007 : 09:48:28 AM
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Hi Karen,
Welcome! My son moved out about a year ago. I found myself calling him 2 and 3 times a day! He was very patient with me. After a couple of months I adjusted. His room is now my craft room!
Cheryl |
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**Welcome Wagon: Empty Nest? |
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Empty Nest?
