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Family Matters:  HELP! my son eats only certain foods!!  |
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julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 06 2006 : 2:50:02 PM
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please tell me I am not the only one with this issue!! I think I've created a monster.. My 4 year old son has such a limited selection of food that he'll eat, that its starting to wig me out. He could eat Annie's MacnCheese every day, PBJ, Pizza, grapes, yogurt, banana, apples,oatmeal, sweet breads, bagels and a few others but that's it! There is no meat whatsoever, nor any vegetables at this time. When he was a baby he loved all things and was way more adventurous...Mind you, he is completely content with his menu..I'm the one starting to have some concerns. So far, there are no health issues; he's growing appropriately, he's rarely sick, sleeps well and has a hearty appetite for all the above. The problem is trying to introduce new food. If I so much as suggest something new, he panics with a vehement no no no!! If I put new food on his plate, his reaction would suggest that the foreign unwelcomed edible has contaminated everything. Poor guy.. it really is a battle..
He will be very involved in planting the garden this year. He loves to harvest veggies and his favorite thing is shelling peas and pulling carrots so I'm hopeful. He'll park himself in the strawberry patch and blueberry patch when the berries are ripe too, which is so wonderful.. Am I crazy to get a little worked up here? What are your words of wisdom ladies!! Thanks so much, Julia Hayes
being simple to simply be |
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country lawyer
True Blue Farmgirl
1022 Posts
1022 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2006 : 3:08:10 PM
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Oh, Julia, my new friend, I have exactly the same issue. I have a four year old daughter who is picky, picky, picky. She eats so little, I have no idea how she gets by. But, gets by she does. I've tried not to worry about it. I keep thinking one day she'll decide to start eating. Unlike your son, my daughter is underweight and petite. Are you worried about your son getting the proper nutrition? It sounds to me like there are healthy choices in his diet. I noticed you used the word "battle." Maybe just give up the "battle." Offer him various new food choices with no pressure. Maybe he'll give them a try and find some he likes. Of course, this advice is from a mother whose child doesn't eat! Okay,okay...perhaps you should ignore my word of advice and hear from someone who has figured this out. Good luck!
"All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well."
Julian of Norwich |
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mdotterer
True Blue Farmgirl
78 Posts
Marlene
Pleasant Hill
CA
USA
78 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2006 : 4:03:38 PM
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Oh Ladies, you are doing just fine and so are the kids! Just keep offering them a variety of foods, don't make a big deal of it, and eventually, they'll start eating something new. They'll see you enjoying it and maybe they'll see their friends enjoying it and they'll want to try it, too. Sometimes it helps to play the "try a bite" game: the child has to eat at least one bite of a new food, and if they don't like it, they don't have to eat it. But, they have to try it at least three times (can be different meals). Kids seem to go through this - it could just be a way of asserting their growing independence.
Just please, NEVER, NEVER ask your child what he or she "wants" to eat! You plan, prepare, and serve the meals and snacks. That's what's available to eat and that's ALL that's available to eat. Your child doesn't have to eat it, but he can't tell you what to feed him!
That said, I do think it's a good idea to ask the child for preferences when you are planning a meal. When my five kids were little, I would prepare a two-week menu in advance and do all my shopping at once. While I was making out the menu, I'd ask the kids if they wanted anything in particular for dinner. It was a good way to for them to learn what foods were good for dinner and what foods were considered "junk" or snack foods. I would use their suggestions as much as possible.
Keep at it and good luck! They'll start eating better, eventually!
Marlene |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2006 : 4:39:01 PM
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I ask for special requests when I make up my menu for the week too...usually on Sunday nights.
I let the kids have two things they never ever have to eat ever ( I won't eat pasta or mayo so I understand) but they have to have at least a bite of everything else. I don't have picky eaters really, so that has always worked for me. From time to time they change their "hated foods list" and none of them are hard to work around. Youngest son came with a big old list of things he didn't eat...we adopted him at age 7..he is almost 9 now...and so I let him pick the two he hated most. He was fine with that...of course he is sort of a people pleaser and wouldn't make waves if he dosn't have to. I am sort of a fanatic about desserts (they don't happen often here and I hate when people give my kids candy) and the kids do real well even with that. If you are consistent they will get used to most anything. All 7 of my kids are healthy and good eaters..
I agree with not asking what they want when you cook...if you do that they will never be satisfyed and if you have more than one you end up a short order cook for sure. I have friends who do that. I don't have the time or patience.
Jenny in Utah
It's astonishing how short a time it takes for very wonderful things to happen...Frances Burnette
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ |
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greyghost
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
Lynn
Summerville
Georgia
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2006 : 5:20:41 PM
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I've got nephews that ONLY eat hot dogs... for years. I don't know how a child can eat just that (hot dogs actually make me sick). My kid brother ate nothing but a "ketchup sandwich" and salad for a year when he was about four. I remember being hooked on putting a slice of Velveeta (yuk!) between two slices of bread and microwaving it for lunch every day when I was about nine. I can't think of anything less appetizing now! Can you say SOGGY?
So, it's normal, don't fret.
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Edited by - greyghost on Jan 07 2006 5:21:45 PM |
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julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2006 : 08:57:36 AM
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Ahhhhhhh ladies, thank you for the gentle reminder to just lighten up! I really liked the idea of not asking my son or daughter what they want to eat and just serving them instead. I've been doing that for the most part anyway; I either serve them something or I give them 2 choices..it seems to work. I'm hoping by getting him more involved in food growing and preparation that he'll be more curious to try new things. We'll see..Thanks again..this has been extremely comforting!
Julia Hayes
being simple to simply be |
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cajungal
True Blue Farmgirl
2349 Posts
Catherine Farmgirl Sister #76
Houston Area
Texas
2349 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2006 : 09:18:17 AM
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Julia,
What simple and encouraging advice you've received. All moms go through some stage of this. I bet down in Australia a mom laments that her child won't eat vegimite (sp?) or won't eat anything but vegimite! All the pointers are great...choices, getting involved,etc...
We plan our meals 9 weeks at a time. The whole family gets to give input as to what they'd like to eat. We compromise and mix and match. The kids also have to at least try what's for supper. They can always eat granola if they don't like what's for supper. But, I have found that because they took part in the planning and preparation, they will eat it. Plus, because the meals have been planned and are on a chart hanging in the kitchen, everyone knows what to expect.
The only thing I can't get them to eat is green peas....they say if Daddy doesn't have to then they don't either! And I love green peas!
Blessings
Catherine
One of the best compliments from one of my daughters: "Moma, you smell good...like dirt." |
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manda
Farmgirl in Training
49 Posts
amanda
corralitos
cA
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2006 : 10:46:41 PM
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My daughter would live on Annie's mac and cheese also : ) but she's a great healthy eater. I found kids like to dip food -so try cut up soy hot dogs with ketchup on the side as dip and carrots with ranch dressing, fruit with a scoop vanilla yogurt to dip in, etc... I had a friend who would sneak veggies in by shreading carrots or zucchini and adding then to spaghetti sauce or muffins. The kids never tasted it and she was happy they were eating their veggies.
Manda |
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cherryhillhouse
Farmgirl in Training
27 Posts
Barb
Dorr
MI
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2006 : 08:50:17 AM
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My son would only eat fish sticks, mac and cheese, spaghettios, hot dogs, skim milk, pizza,green beans and white bread. I was horrified. One of his worst memories (this is no exaggeration) is when his babysitter tried to make him eat tuna salad! He remembers it like it was yesterday -- and it was 20 years ago! I gave up fighting with him as he seemed to be a healthy weight and energetic and played sports and such. His wife of 5 years has now persuaded him to eat all manner of veggies and fruits and whole grains -- we thank her frequently. There are so many things that one can battle about with kids - I chose to make mine about things other than food. Good luck!
Barb
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julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2006 : 2:03:50 PM
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You know, this has been so helpful! Thank you.. There are so many battles we can confront on any given day and I think I had convinced myself that food ought not be one of them. This reassurance has completely affirmed that. The next one we're going to work through is learning to use a toothbrush instead of always biting them!! Thank heaven he lets me get in there and brush away to my heart's content, but it would be so nice to see him do it more independently. HA!! I bet I will one day eat those words: the day when he's completely independent of me and I'll long to be 'needed' by him again!! hee hee hee thanks again ladies!! Enjoy, Julia Hayes
being simple to simply be |
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mustbeteatime
Farmgirl in Training
39 Posts
Colette
MN
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2006 : 2:09:50 PM
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Oh thank you all for the wonderful words of wisdom! I too have a picky 4-year-old son and I do make the awful mistake all too often of asking him what he wants because I am weary of the "battle." We are doing pretty good with a program of you have to eat at least one bite of something new or a certain amount of bites of something we know he will eat even if he doesn't really want too. No veggies (we have succeeded with a bite of cooked carrot recently!) or fruit (except dried fruit and juice and sometimes applesauce). He is a big dairy eater though and a bit of meat and lots and lots of bread so I try not to get too concerned. Also, his pediatrician prescribes vitamin drops so I try to be good about giving him those. And yes, if you put something on his plate he doesn't want, you would think he was being tortured for all the fuss! My 2-year-old daughter on the other hand is a much better eater, except she has suddenly decided she can't eat the crust. I console myself with the fact that at least my kids will both eat whole wheat bread or any other kind and not whine for the mushy white stuff (husband loves the mushy stuff - YUK!). AND, Mr. Picky Eater will eat the crust, even the ends. :)
Colette |
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Julie R
Farmgirl in Training
18 Posts
Julie
Hyde Park
Utah
USA
18 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2006 : 7:24:43 PM
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| Good advice from all. My mother put my brother's peas in his ice cream... passive aggression works both ways. |
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Mari-dahlia
True Blue Farmgirl
269 Posts
Marianne
Hoosick Falls
New York
USA
269 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2006 : 04:50:25 AM
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when my kids were small, the only thing they would eat of meat was chicken fingers. So, I came up with idea to cut everything in that shape and bread it. We had chiken-fish, chicken-pork etc. When my son was five he went fishing with his dad and my husband had him convinced he saw a chicken-fish.
Marianne |
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Libbie
Farmgirl Connection Cultivator
3579 Posts
Anne E.
Elsinore
Utah
USA
3579 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2006 : 11:09:52 AM
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I only have a 2-yr-old, but all of this advice and information is great. I'll know not to fret really if he develops certain "preferences" over the next couple of years. He's always been a good eater, except that he won't touch a potato (unless it's been morphed into a french fry). He'll eat spinach, curry, hummus, broccoli, lamb chops, WHATEVER, just NOT a potato. I've even tried sneaking it into a beef stew, which he likes, and he'll happily eat the rest of the stew and get this strange look on his face and spit out the piece of potato. Weird. I'm not worried about it, just sort of amused!
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
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Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2006 : 1:36:28 PM
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Julia, Have you ever read the book "Positive Discipline?" When I read it the other day, it actually reminded me of you with the way that you speak so kindly to your kids.
They suggest that you just put a variety of foods at the table and they can take what they want. As long as what you provide is nutritious they will get by just fine, and by turning food into a battle the kids will always win because there isn't a lot you can do about the basic functions of eating, sleeping and potty. Because of that, those are the three areas where they would rather have the power than the food, rest or dry pants.
The book says that if you stop the cycle of the power struggle, usually they do what you want anyway because it's THEIR choice.
I have just started implementing some of the books ideas in my home and things have been getting easier in that department.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
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happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2006 : 10:24:04 PM
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You've already received wonderful advice, but I wanted to add that both of my children went through this at around the same age. In both cases, they eventually branched out in their eating on their own. I really think that if I had made a fuss, they might have dug their heels in and their pickiness would have lasted longer.
Both of them were always very healthy, despite their selective eating at those stages. I know these things make a mom worry a bit, though; that's only natural. But the other ladies' suggestions were right on-target, imho.
Some people search for happiness; others create it. |
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celebrate2727
True Blue Farmgirl
989 Posts
Beth
MJF
Farmgirl
989 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2006 : 06:39:24 AM
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Well my picky eater is now 15 and is still very picky. no mayo, nothing mixed, nothing on a sandwich but meat and bread. so anyway here's how I cope, I make dinner and if he doesn't like it he can make himself something else. I do keep in my when planning the menu to have something that he will eat but sometimes he just won't eat anything so he'll head to the cupboard and have cereal or something. He does try new things now and then but usually hates it. WHen he was 10 I took him to the doctor to see if he was ok, because he would only eat mac and cheese. and the doc said he would be fine so I stopped stressing about it. He is 5'10" and weighs around 165 so I guess the doc was right.
blessings-
beth
A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself. Tom Stoppard "Rosencrantz & Gilbertson are Dead"
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Susie Q
True Blue Farmgirl
122 Posts
Susan
So. California
USA
122 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2006 : 8:32:22 PM
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Growing up we had to have "No Thank You" servings. Whatever was served we had to have a bit on our plate, about a tablespoon, and eat it. It opened us up to alot of different foods. In time there were somethings that we did not have to eat. For me it was liver. For my brother it was lima beans.
When at someones house we had to do the same thing without complaint. If we were served something we did not like we were told to say "It was good, thank you, but I really liked..." |
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Libbie
Farmgirl Connection Cultivator
3579 Posts
Anne E.
Elsinore
Utah
USA
3579 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2006 : 07:31:26 AM
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Susan, I like the way things were done in your house - what a great idea! I think I'll do that from now on at our house, too.
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
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Family Matters: HELP! my son eats only certain foods!! |
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HELP! my son eats only certain foods!!
