| Author |
Family Matters:  Pity Party and You Are All Invited  |
|
|
TheSoapMaven
True Blue Farmgirl
691 Posts
Susan
LA
USA
691 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 06:24:48 AM
|
My how things can change overnight! My mom is not doing well at all so if I
am hard to get hold of I apologize in advance.
On the 9th of July, she called me and told me she was getting in the tub -
just as she always does. I was making soap, and realized in about 10
minutes she hadnt called to let me know she was out. I called her. No
answer. I thought she had left the phone in the bedroom maybe and went into
the kitchen and couldnt hear it. So I tried again. No answer. Jerry was
out in the garden so I told him I was walking over to check on her. The
door was locked. I have no key...HAD no key...I do now. I walked around to
her bedroom window. I could hear her saying very panicky, "I cant get out."
I yelled for her to just hang on, I got a large rock from the drive way and
broke her bedroom window. Unlocked it and climbed thru...by this time Jerry
was over there too but she didnt want him to come in as she was still in the
tub. I found out pretty quickly I dont have all my strength back. But I
finally wrestled her around and got her out of the bed. She had absolutely
worn herself out in a matter of minutes. She couldnt pull herself up, had
left the phone on the dressing table and I suppose she thought I might not
realize it. And she fought and fought until she had nothing left.
So now...WOW...where to start.The next night my phone rings at 11:30 - she
has fallen in the living room...now why a 76 year old woman is roaming
around at 11:30 at night I do not know!! Anyway I had to call 911 to help me
get her upright. She is a little taller than me and I could NOT pick her up
THEN...oh yes there is more...the next Sunday my future daughter in law,
says she will come and help her get a tub bath - she's much taller than both
Mom and me and stronger as well. Well, that quickly went South. Mom slid
off the chair in the tub. Another step back. Now this is a woman who was
cooking and such for herself on July 8th.
Physical therapy 3 times a week, not able to get around without a rolling
walker, seems to be getting some sort of upper respiratory thing. We have
increased her home health care to 5 days a week. I dont know how everything
went so wrong so quickly.
In any event, I am pretty tied up. I am however getting the wholesale
orders done as quickly as possible. I hope/plan to have them all out next
week by the end of the week. I have put up a notice at my website that I am
down for some housekeeping - I didnt really know what to call this phase. I hope to be back up and running very shortly
-just as soon as we get mom settled a little better. Thanks for understanding-
if any of you have a business you know how things can happen to make things
more difficult to get everything done. But as always - Family First.
Susan
Proprietress of Dahlem's Soapworks http://www.thesoapmaven.com
|
|
|
berries
True Blue Farmgirl
475 Posts
gloria g
Florida
USA
475 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 06:34:27 AM
|
So sorry to hear this! My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours during this time.
love, hugs and support to you,
gloria g. Richards, TX
strawberry fields forever and ever! |
 |
|
|
Nancy Gartenman
True Blue Farmgirl
9094 Posts
Nancy
West Seneca
New York
USA
9094 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 06:57:10 AM
|
Susan
So sorry to hear about your mom. I have a 91 year old aunt and she drives, gets her nails and hair done, plays cards and goes to the storesetc.etc. But when we were down last weekend I saw a big change in her, she seemed to have lost so much in just a few weeks, so now I'am pretty worried about thoses things she has done all along and will probably continue to try and do. I don't know why such a sudden turn. So I know what a surprise it must have been for you and your family. At least I have seen some signs now, you didn't seem to get much warning.
So will be thinking of you, get as much help as you can, don't try and do everything yourself.
NANCY JO
. |
|
|
|
Kelly43
True Blue Farmgirl
349 Posts
NJ
USA
349 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 07:46:38 AM
|
Susan, Your family will be in our prayers. Ditto Nancy Jo, get help and don't try to do everything yourself. I am sure all your customers will understand your temporary set back. I agree with you family first! Wish I could zapp myself there to help out.
Kel |
|
|
|
country lawyer
True Blue Farmgirl
1022 Posts
1022 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 08:12:48 AM
|
Susan, I just sent you an email because I had noticed that message on your website. I was hoping things were much better for you and y'all were just re-designing the site. I was worried and am so sorry to hear that's not the case. I think handling a sickness of someone we love is on the very top of the stressor list. It's sooooo hard. It's both emotional distress (what am I dealing with here? when will this get better? why must this person I love suffer? etc.) and physical weariness (all the "doing" for the other person). When I've been called upon to do it, I always, always, wear myself out...it's almost impossible not to. Soooo hard. You have to remember, of course, that you just recovering from a MAJOR surgery yourself. You can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself. Things will get better for you. Take help when it's offered (hard to do, I know). And, of course, let us know if there is anything we can do to help you. Thoughts and prayers continue,
"All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well."
Julian of Norwich |
|
|
|
Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 08:58:05 AM
|
so sorry to hear about your mom, please take care of yourself too during this time.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~ |
Edited by - Tina Michelle on Jul 20 2006 08:58:36 AM |
|
|
|
JudyBlueEyes
True Blue Farmgirl
657 Posts
Judith
Spokane
Washington
USA
657 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 09:16:34 AM
|
Hi, Susan, my prayers and best wishes are with you, your mom and all your family. Is it possible that your mom has had some mini-strokes that are causing her to lose her balance and fall? This happened to my mother, maybe in the year before she died at age 73 of a CVA. And she was up and doing laundry and cooking the week before she fell 3 times in the week and my father insisted on a wheelchair for her. Best of luck with your mom, and as the others have said, take care of yourself! Hugs! Judy
The Rooster crows, but the Hen lays the egg. ~ Texas Proverb |
|
|
|
santa_gertrudis_gal
True Blue Farmgirl
198 Posts
Kim
Groesbeck
Texas
USA
198 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 09:46:15 AM
|
Oh, Susan my prayers are with you. I know how hard this is for you. I worry about my mother all of the time. She keeps so much on her plate which I'm greatful for. It keeps her mind moving and gives her so much purpose. I know one day I too, will have to face what you are facing. I wish you the best and above all, keep some little time for yourself.
Kim
Heaven is a day at the ranch with my Santa Gertrudis! |
|
|
|
therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 11:44:18 AM
|
Susan -- I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties with your mother. I will be praying for her and for your family. You are a fantastic woman who has her priorities in the right place!!!
I choose faith not fear.
Lotion bars, linen water & more in my online shop! http://therusticcottage.etsy.com
|
|
|
|
Utahfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1940 Posts
Portland
Oregon
USA
1940 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 12:05:18 PM
|
Sending lots of love and prayers your way, dear Susan. I know your Mom appreciates all you do.
Farmgirl hug,
Patricia
Come visit my Etsy store at www.chezPatricia.etsy.com
Farmgirls do it organically! |
|
|
|
Buttercup
True Blue Farmgirl
1433 Posts
Talitha
Vermont
USA
1433 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 5:59:37 PM
|
Susan,
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. It is so hard to see those we love having a hard time like that. I will be thinking of you and praying for you and yours that you all will make it through this hard time with peace and strength!
Hugz Always!!
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
|
|
|
theoanne
True Blue Farmgirl
282 Posts
teddie
CARROLLTON
GA
282 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2006 : 6:50:33 PM
|
Susan,
I had the same thing with my 81 yr old parents last fall. Made three 350 mile trips to FL in 6 weeks to help them through a 'bad patch'. Things have been better but of course will never be the same again. I know your Mom is glad you are so near and can be there. Take care of yourself too. It hasn't quite been 2 months since you were in surgery.
God Bless your family, Teddie |
|
|
|
Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2006 : 07:05:53 AM
|
Susan- The best thing you can do right now is to take care of your mom. And you! You are both in my prayers.
Karin |
|
|
|
akcowgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
296 Posts
Valerie
Homer
Alaska
USA
296 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2006 : 12:20:26 PM
|
Susan... many hugs your way and prayers headed up for you and yours. Take care of your self and your family.
Valerie
Yes, I live in my own little world. But that's ok they know me here.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
 |
|
|
|
Phils Ann
True Blue Farmgirl
1095 Posts
Ann
Parsonsburg
Maryland
USA
1095 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2006 : 4:59:46 PM
|
Susan, I'm so sorry you have this worry, and I do relate. My MIL came here to our house when she couldn't make it next door by herself. I remember her not being able to get out of bed, half on, and half off for hours before I got up and found her. As a side note, does her tub chair have arms and a back? That helps a lot. Also, grab bars (sold in Lowes) on the tub walls, if they aren't there yet. The changes can come mighty fast. An occupational therapist would be really valuable. Any trained OTs here?
I am praying for you all,
Ann
There is a Redeemer. |
|
|
|
TheSoapMaven
True Blue Farmgirl
691 Posts
Susan
LA
USA
691 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2006 : 5:27:58 PM
|
Thank you all! It is so good to find a sympathetic ear here! Just have a sec but I wanted to say thanks and tell you therapy is going well and yes, after the physical therapist is done, they are sending and OT. YEAH! My sister in law is coming tomorrow to stay with her so Jerry and I can take the kids to see the new Pirates movie. We need a day out.
Love to you all!
Susan
Proprietress of Dahlem's Soapworks http://www.thesoapmaven.com
|
|
|
|
Kathigene
True Blue Farmgirl
160 Posts
Kathy
New York
160 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2006 : 1:36:27 PM
|
Has any one checked to see if your mom or Nancy your aunt have had a small stroke. This can happen without the person even realizing it and it could cause a very quick down turn in condition if left undiscovered.
I certainly understand what it is like to take care of an older relative. My mom lived with me for over 20 years and finally died at home. I remember so well the ups and downs and although my life is much freer now I would take back all the responsibilities and heartaches to have Mom back.
Susan remember to take care of yourself as well as your mother. Stress can cause you to get sick and then you're really in trouble.
Kathy
Dogs make such good friends because they wag their tails rather then their tongues. |
|
|
|
Nancy Gartenman
True Blue Farmgirl
9094 Posts
Nancy
West Seneca
New York
USA
9094 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2006 : 4:46:34 PM
|
Thanks for your impute Kathy, I think that may be something that has probably happened, I call her often and she has a lot of people that check on her. But I see a big slow down, and I believe like you said that there have probably been some small strokes that can make a difference . It really is sad, but that is the way of things and it can't be stopped or changed. My Grandma always said, you are born and you die and use your time wisely, but don't try and change the way of things. And if you wait a minute the sun will come out again.
NANCY JO
|
|
|
|
Kelly43
True Blue Farmgirl
349 Posts
NJ
USA
349 Posts |
Posted - Jul 24 2006 : 8:43:40 PM
|
Nancy, wasn't your grandmother a wise woman. I often need to remember the "wait a minute and the sun will come out again" part. I hope both your situations are going a little easier. We are trying to find our little piece of heaven and one of our biggest limiting factors is I don't want to go far from my parents. They are both in good health now but I anticipate the day they will need my help and I don't want to be far away. We could afford something much nicer farther away but I think part of the "farmgirl attitude" is family is so important. Kathy, you are a wonderful person for what you did for your mother, I know she loved you for it.
Everybody hang in there and take care of yourselves too!
Kelly |
|
|
|
frannie
True Blue Farmgirl
2246 Posts
fran
bonham
texas
USA
2246 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 12:27:07 AM
|
susan, read your post and just wanted to check in and let you know you and your mom will be in my thoughts and prayers.
it sounds like you got some great advice from the other gals, but was going to chime in as im a retired OT and im so glad you will be having physical therapy and occupational therapy for your mom. \it does sound like your mom could be having small strokes or perhaps a bleed as i read the post cause no one mentioned that she actually passed out.
that is really a good sign.
i know this will sound so simple and i dont want to offend anyone, but has your mom started any new meds or over the counter meds for pain, etc. many times my patients had reactions to those things as the aged. also, we have had so much heat here, and now that i am older and have cardiovascular disease i have found that i am much more sensitive to dehydration than i used to be....and it causes some disturbing symptoms when i get too hot.anyway, i will be thinking of you and your mom and it really sounds to me like she is getting great care and that yall have all the bases covered, also hope you are still trying to take it somewhat easy yourself, i know that can be hard to do.
fran |
|
|
|
bboopster
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Betty Jo
West Bend
Wisconsin
USA
1140 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2006 : 07:50:07 AM
|
Susan, my prayers are with you. Something similar happened to my elderly next door neighbor that my hubby and I were caring for as her family wanted nothing to do with her. It ended up being mini-strokes. She to went down very fast and her family would not help or OK any therphy. One day a health 85 living in her own home and 3 months later she was in a nursing home. (against our will we cared for her for a total of 18 years and would of contunied) Please take care of yourself and your family.
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
|
|
| |
Family Matters: Pity Party and You Are All Invited |
|
Pity Party and You Are All Invited
