| Author |
Across the Fence:  Cyber Bullying-What to do?  |
|
|
melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3341 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3341 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 29 2012 : 4:14:43 PM
|
Anyone out there experienced cyber bullying?
It's touched our home and it's been devastating. As if teens don't have enough to contend with they have to put up with that.
If you have experienced cyber-bullying or someone you loved has what did you do to resolve it?
Melody
Farmgirl #525
www.longtallsallys.etsy.com |
|
|
SpyChicken
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Christine
Fond du Lac
WI
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2012 : 4:43:28 PM
|
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this! :( If the bullying is going on via social networking such as twitter, facebook, my space, etc., then there are procedures on each of those sites to report this type of behavior. If that doesn't work, I would research a little to find out what your legal recourses are-in the past few years, I know they are really trying to crack down on this, so you may be able to involve local authorities if you feel it is warranted.
Bullies of any kind are weak, sick people but cyber bullies are even worse because they hide behind the internet to do their damage. I hope that your teen can stay strong until you get this resolved-it is a serious problem & I hope you can make it stop!
Sending you and your teen a farm girl hug!
Christine |
 |
|
|
texdane
Farmgirl Legend Chapter Leader Chapter Guru
4658 Posts
Nicole
Sandy Hook
CT
USA
4658 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 05:06:12 AM
|
Our school system here has a "zero tolerance" policy in place...have you checked in with the school? So sorry to hear about this.
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
|
|
|
melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3341 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3341 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 05:23:10 AM
|
It was removed from Facebook (the girl who is doing this) but it is STILL on her mother's facebook page. The girl did an explicit cartoon intimating one of the characters as my daughter... all the way down to her exact physical appearance, her nick-name and the so called incident that took place. The mother still has this LINK to her daughter's posting of this cartoon right on her front page! Her mother "liked" her daughters posting of the cartoon, which shows the first page of the cartoon and accessibility to the link-just click and there you go-right in your face. So now, everyone on the "mother's" facebook page is reading this disgusting cartoon, which involves many pages. I read the cartoon and it is very slanderous, explicit and completely untrue. Nice huh? We live in a small town and I have known the mother casually since the girls were in grade school. I waited on this for about two weeks, but the girl is home from college now and stirring things up AGAIN regarding the "cartoon." I thought at first just let it die down because I didn't want DD to go through the pain of it and I had hoped it would just go away, but it hasn't. So I contacted Facebook yesterday and filed a complaint-Now I suppose it is just wait and see. I am thinking now legal recourse, but then again, I would have to expose my daughter to this hurtful ordeal and who knows how long it will be "out" there for everyone to gossip about. It's so frustrating.
Melody |
|
|
|
FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 09:28:10 AM
|
Could you send a private message to the mother to help open her eyes to the problem. Tell her this is straight up bullying and you do have legal recourse. State you have saved the screen shots and should have no problem winning a judgement against her in court unless she removes the offending cartoons etc. immediately. There have been many cases already setting precedent that the internet is not a free for all to post lies, slander, and libel about another person. The bad news, this will not just go away. People who are bullies were previously bullied. Even the hint of you taking legal action may be enough to scare them. And what is with a college age girl doing this?
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 09:47:34 AM
|
Be sure to get a screen shot and keep it. In the face of bullying, don't look like you're weak. There is legal recourse for slander, especially since you know who is doing such. I'm on another horse board where some of these things are going on. At least you know who it is, that's a 'plus', if you can call it that.
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
|
|
|
|
goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 09:52:36 AM
|
quote:
Originally posted by goneriding
Be sure to get a screen shot and keep it. In the face of bullying, don't look like you're weak. There is legal recourse for slander, especially since you know who is doing such. I'm on another horse board where some of these things are going on. At least you know who it is, that's a 'plus', if you can call it that.
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
I have to add, I can't seem to edit. I'm in no way giving legal advice, just restating what is happening on anther board. There is also a big brouhaha going on about what 'advice' you can give to others. If it seeps into 'legal' advice, that may be a no-no. So, just saying what is happening elsewhere. I'm not going to argue the merits, one way or the other, about talking 'over the fence' here. Too much trouble to defend myself, should someone take offense. (Yes, some legal eagles on the other board schooled the whole board about being careful of what you say, regardless of the First Ammendment. It ain't right but I'm not loaded with money to fight back.)
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
|
|
|
|
marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 10:02:24 AM
|
Melody since this is a collage girl doing this, how old is your daughter.If she is under eighteen go straight to the police and tell them the whole story. They will want to see probably what the cartoon has on it. -Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter! |
|
|
|
melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3341 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3341 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 10:47:53 AM
|
| My daughter is 19. She wants it to go away....without stirring the pot so to speak. And, honestly I don't blame her one bit. Like I said it is a small town where everyone know everyone. This girl actually had the gall to text her yesterday asking her to be friends again and that she has heard from several people around town that my daughter is offended by the "cartoon" but that the girl was just expressing her interpretation of the event and was inspired to post her cartoon on line. That's the thing...no 'real' names were used but the cartoon of my daughter and her physical features is dead on in likeness and of course again...the girl used my daughter's nick-name. I'm in the middle of this and heck yeah I want to seek any and all action against the girl and her mother but if the VICTIM does not want to get involved and wants it to go away-Shouldn't I respect that wish? It's a real dilemma. |
|
|
|
marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 11:02:48 AM
|
The college girl has the gall to ask her to be friends. With friends like that who needs enemies ! Yes if your daughter wants it to go away I quess I would respect her wishes. But I would definately stay away from her so called friend. You really cant do much if your daughter doesn't want to get involved and wants all to blow over. I think its pretty sorry that the mother also allowed such hurtful thing to go on her FB. How would she react if it was her daughter.
But will keep you all in my prayers.--Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter! |
|
|
|
goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 11:03:51 AM
|
*My opinion only*
Well, your daughter is 19 and that's an adult in most places, I'm guessing. I don't see there's much you can do. As a mom you want to protect your fledgling but she is an adult.
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
|
|
|
|
rough start farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3331 Posts
marianne
The Beautiful Pacific NW
Washington State
USA
3331 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 3:24:14 PM
|
I would give the most consideration to your daughter's wishes. I am so sorry for your pain and I completely understand your desire to rip these two women- especially the mother - to shreds!
marianne |
|
|
|
melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3341 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3341 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 4:07:31 PM
|
What is wrong with people?
Hiding behind facebook postings and other media networks thinking they can say and do whatever they want instead of confronting one another...face to face? What kind of society are we breeding? And then there is accountability for one's actions...Makes me want to stay home with the door locked.
Melody |
|
|
|
thebyrdhaus
True Blue Farmgirl
520 Posts
Patty
Columbus
Oh
USA
520 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 7:59:33 PM
|
It is sad that parents become involved in the bullying. When my boys were young, a mother brought her son to our house to "beat up" my son. Sad that there is no maturity in the parents. The kids learn their behaviors.
Patty #1840
http://ladygonegreen.blogspot.com/
A rind is a terrible thing to waste. Compost.
When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.”
-Jesus in John 6:12 NIV Bible |
|
|
|
MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2012 : 10:08:59 PM
|
It's stupid and uncalled for. But, people are always going to talk. Think about all the cartoons, and such about famous people-actors to politicians. Most of the stuff is lies, or at least not the entire truth.
I kind of live by the general rule-what people say about me behind my back is none of my business. IE they can talk all the trash they want, I don't let it bother me. People dumb enough to believe it, as grandma's have been saying for eon's weren't really your friends to begin with, or weren't worth being your friends. Your true friends will see it for what it's worth. Furthermore, people who think that kind of thing is funny, cute, etc aren't the character of people you would want to be friends with-IE I want strong friends, who don't go around "liking" bullying, and such. And who would stand up and say that's wrong. And not "like" it. So the people reading such cartoon, or the people who would be dumb enough to believe it and not be friends with your DD aren't the kind she would really want for friends any way, are they?
So I'm kind of on your dd opinion, and let it ride. If you go chasing every person who wants to poke fun at you, or bully you you'll waste a lot of time, unless they are physically endangering her/you.
I would also NOT friend her. I am picky of who I am friends with and it wouldn't include people that weak in character.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2012 : 06:26:13 AM
|
quote:
Originally posted by MagnoliaWhisper
It's stupid and uncalled for. But, people are always going to talk. Think about all the cartoons, and such about famous people-actors to politicians. Most of the stuff is lies, or at least not the entire truth.
I kind of live by the general rule-what people say about me behind my back is none of my business. IE they can talk all the trash they want, I don't let it bother me. People dumb enough to believe it, as grandma's have been saying for eon's weren't really your friends to begin with, or weren't worth being your friends. Your true friends will see it for what it's worth. Furthermore, people who think that kind of thing is funny, cute, etc aren't the character of people you would want to be friends with-IE I want strong friends, who don't go around "liking" bullying, and such. And who would stand up and say that's wrong. And not "like" it. So the people reading such cartoon, or the people who would be dumb enough to believe it and not be friends with your DD aren't the kind she would really want for friends any way, are they?
So I'm kind of on your dd opinion, and let it ride. If you go chasing every person who wants to poke fun at you, or bully you you'll waste a lot of time, unless they are physically endangering her/you.
I would also NOT friend her. I am picky of who I am friends with and it wouldn't include people that weak in character.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com
Very much "Like".
I have learned to ignore weak charactered people but it does pay to at least keep an ear to the ground, for just-in-case. I have been blind-sided more than once by less than savory people because they have redoubled their efforts when I ignored them, which ticked them off even worse. They are weak for a reason, probably know it (prolly suspect it but don't want to acknowledge it) and feel the only way to compensate is to make it rougher for you. Plus, with the jealousy, then add in your not giving them the time of day, that can escalate.
So, I'd say to not give them attention and go about her life but do keep ears and eyes open for some sort of retribution. If nothing happens, no harm, no foul. But please don't totally dismiss like out of sight, out of mind.
Some day, your daughter may have to face them and deal with it her way, much as you want to protect.
My website: http://antlersantiqueswindchimes.weebly.com
|
|
|
| |
Across the Fence: Cyber Bullying-What to do? |
|
Cyber Bullying-What to do?
