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Across the Fence:  Should I quite teaching lessons?  |
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musicmommy
True Blue Farmgirl
430 Posts
Wendy
Oregon
USA
430 Posts |
 Posted - May 28 2012 : 10:51:38 AM
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I've been teaching flute and piano for as long as I can remember and I like it, but I don't absolutely love it. My true loves in music are performing and conducting, but I've been supplementing our income with my teaching. (only a little though).
Hubby made a comment yesterday that he'd kind of like for me to stop teaching for a while. Although the extra money is nice, we don't need it and we'll be fine without it. I've made my pros and cons list, but I feel like it really is pointing for me to quit, but honestly, I'm scared to.
Reasons to teach:
A little extra money
Feeling like I contribute to the household
Scared to quit
Feeling like I will disappoint my students and their families
I enjoy teaching (but probably wouldn't miss it)
Reasons to quit:
Our days wouldn't be tied up with my teaching schedule
We could establish more of a routine to our days
Time: Time for planning school for the boys since we homeschool, time for household projects, time for cooking and baking that I love and desire
Stress: I do stress out on my teaching days. The house needs to be clean enough, etc.
Simplify: Between homeschooling, teaching, church stuff, wife, mom, etc..I'm feeling like I'm trying to do it all and not really doing any of it good.
I know it looks obvious, but why am I wrestling with this so much? Anthony is fine with whatever I choose to do. He was just putting it out there that quitting teaching is an option that he would support if I want. (Just don't want you to think he is controlling because he isn't)
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Bob Marley
www.becomingwendy.wordpress.com |
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4871 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4871 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2012 : 11:22:00 AM
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Could you cut teaching down to 1 day a week. Perhaps choose your most enjoyable students and see if they are comfortable with the new schedule?
If you are worried about quitting for good, you could tell your students that you are taking the summer off from lessons. This gives you an opportunity to resume teaching if you need too.
I am juggling with quitting my part-time job and I understand how difficult it is to quit something. Like your situation, we no longer need the money, but it is difficult to give up the paycheck.
Good luck on deciding what will be best for you.
Dawn in IL |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2012 : 11:24:36 AM
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I don't know your husband personally so I can't say if this is true for him personally or not. But, many men like to be the sole provider. It makes them feel good. I don't see that as controlling, but rather caring, and kind of even inherently ingrained in many of them. Personally for me I also see it as part of their spiritual obligation. But, that's personal and I don't force my views on others. That being said, my husband is serious about wanting to be the sole provider. He takes it seriously even if we are struggling, he likes me to be home caring for the home front. Funny enough neither of us came from such families (my mom is a dr-bringing in much more then my father as a nurse, and his mother is a nurse bringing in more then his father as well! haha). But, this was in our discussions while dating and what we decided on and what he's been committed to. Also we got a ton of flack for it living the first 10 years of our marriage in NYC where this was almost unheard of! But, it works for us. I understand your pros though, when I first read your starting out of this, I thought keep teaching as you can and do what you want. But, as I read further I got to thinking how my husband feels about being the one to provide for us...it's a pride issue, I think. And I'm happy to oblige him. In the meantime I do like you try to care for my household etc, in a modest way to help him not have to struggle to provide for us.
So again I don't know your husband personally, but you may want to think about "why" he said you could quit...I don't think it is anything controlling in the least either, but it may just make him feel good knowing he is the one who is completely providing for his family. And that you are such a capable wife caring for the house and children so well.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
14020 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
14020 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2012 : 12:43:31 PM
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Wendy,
I totally understand where you are, as I'm a piano and voice instructor. Currently I don't have students and I'm reluctant to take any students because the instruction schedule REALLY does tie up your days. I agree with Dawn . . since it is summer it would be reasonable to tell your students you are taking a break of undetermined length. You can let them know that you'll contact them if and when you're ready to teach again.
If you're like me, you struggle with it because it is so much of who you are. But I wouldn't worry about your students and their parents . . you have to do what's good for you. You might also give them name(s) of some teachers you would recommend if they are wanting to continue the instruction.
My teaching days were totally focused on that . . . right now, I'm happy to NOT be teaching.
Wishing you the best!
CJ
..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665.
2010 Farmgirl Sister of the Year
Mother Hen: FARMGIRLS SOUTHWEST HENHOUSE
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the "Purple Thistle" http://www.ceejay48.etsy.com
from my heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com
from my hubby - www.aspenforge.blogspot.com |
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Jeanna
True Blue Farmgirl
267 Posts
Jeanna
Franklin
NC
USA
267 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2012 : 2:29:53 PM
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Wendy, the thing on the list that I paused at is when you said you contributed to the household by your teaching. If you are a wife, mother, homeschool teacher, housekeeper, laundry maid, taxi driver, etc. you already more that contribute to the household. I think we as a nation have gotten to thinking that making money is primary way to contribute, but, as you know, it is not. I would quit. Your children will only be young once and need you to be as stress free as possible and you want to keep the hubby happy too. Good luck on which ever way you decide to go.
Jeanna
Farmgirl Sister #41
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
Henry David Thoreau |
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2012 : 11:00:51 PM
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Having worked as a nurse for the past 39 yrs and now being the only one bringing in an income, I could go either way with this, BUT I agree that you should quit at least for the summer. The kids grow up SO fast and life just goes by. You can always restart after the summer if you miss it. And I agree that you already contribute to the household BIG TIME and if you don't need the income, just try it for a few months anyway.
Please don't give up on me. I think about you often and I promise I WILL write as soon as we get settled somewhere. Hugs, Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22944 Posts
22944 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2012 : 05:23:00 AM
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I don't know about your husband, but mine doesn't really come up with suggestions out of the blue unless its something he feels strongly about. And if you homeschool as well- then I applaude your endurance for having done lessons as well! If nothing else I would say you are closing the doors for 3 months for the summer. If I remember right, when I had lessons as a child we had summers off. You could assign like 5 hard pieces and say that was their summer homework to perfect it etc. That way you could feel like if the parents want to approach you after summer then the ball is somewhat in their court but you also get at least 3 months to really determine if you want to re-open the door.
But I think that if you are not really absolutely in love with teaching and you have other things going on- I would focus on those things that really bring a smile to your face! :)
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2012 : 07:32:49 AM
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Yes that too Alee, that's something I was trying to express and you hit it as well....husbands usually suggest things for a reason, they aren't usually the out of the blue people. lol That's what I was thinking too! ;o)
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2012 : 08:33:52 AM
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Maybe just take some time off. If your love is performing and conducting, maybe do just that. Good luck.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Across the Fence: Should I quite teaching lessons? |
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Should I quite teaching lessons?
