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 At what age did you feel you know who you are?
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl

1599 Posts

Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts

Posted - Oct 24 2012 :  10:27:07 PM  Show Profile
I'm in middle-middle age and just recently have I come to the conclusion I'm actually comfortable with myself and know who I am. Not just to have friends who do things with you but to be able to have convictions and not be afraid to state them. To know which jewelry you like (taken with steampunk for some reason), which flowers, not be afraid to lose 'friends' by being yourself, to see through the bull-pucky of fakes and not care about them, being comfortable with or without religion, the whole nine yards. I like old fashioned morals and values but can tweak them as needed but happier with 'rules'. Changing my hair color because it was sorely needed. Now I'm brown-headed instead of blonde, for the first time in years.

I may be a little inarticulate with this, but I hope my thought is coming through.

So, at what age did this all descend on you and you knew it was right??

My website:

http://twohorseswalkingdesigns.com

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/twohorseswalkingdesigns

Pinterest:

http://pinterest.com/goneirish/

prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl

2914 Posts

Cindy

2914 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  01:04:27 AM  Show Profile
I'm with you. I think lot of women don't really get to know themselves till middle age because when we were younger, we were always trying to please other people. But there comes a certain point when we choose the freedom to be who we are, and so what if others object. And that's when life gets really interesting!
cindy

"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers

Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl

4427 Posts



4427 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  03:39:22 AM  Show Profile
When I was 55.......I used to be a *people-pleaser* too...had to. But not anymore. I am who I am, whether you like it or not. if you (in general ofcourse) don't like it...YOUR problem not mine :) Ofcourse I try never to hurt people intentionally...but that is just common sense.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy

(Formerly living in the Netherlands, but now I live in Thailand *__*)

http://pinkprincessinthailand.blogspot.com/
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl

1874 Posts

Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  04:40:03 AM  Show Profile
In my 50s I am learning, I think, to let myself be the person I feel that I really am?
Still a work in progress. But I certainly think as we get older we care less and less about trying to please everyone!

Farmgirl blessings,
Linda

Country at Heart
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pinokeeo
True Blue Farmgirl

559 Posts

Phyllis
Oregon
USA
559 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  04:57:41 AM  Show Profile
Same here. In my 50's. I haven't got all the bugs worked out, but I'm much happier with myself now than I've ever been.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I cannot master those things that I have not tried.

check out my artfire: http://www.artfire.com/users/PiNOKEEOs
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl

3341 Posts

Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3341 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  05:11:04 AM  Show Profile
32-It was sink or swim when I was 32 and honey... I took the leap and jumped right in.

Melody
Farmgirl #525
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl

7577 Posts

Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  05:17:47 AM  Show Profile
I don't think you're inarticulate at all with this, Winona! I love that you brought this up, because I remember when I had that same "Hey! Eureka! I'm actually okay with me!" moment! What a wonderful place to be!

I was 42 when I finally was really comfortable in my own skin - warts 'n all. I actually remember the day it happened. Suddenly I realized that this is my one and only God-given life so I'd better make the most of it; I get to enjoy it and live it the way I want; I can make choices that make me happy and healthy without feeling guilty or needing the approval of others (And, truthfully, I really am the only person who SHOULD make those decisions for myself, anyway!); I don't have to question myself about my choices just because people think differently; I don't want to waste time sweatin' the small stuff or worrying about things I truly cannot change; I surely cannot rely on others or "things" for my happiness because that truly is something that comes from within; I also do not have to bend over backwards and make myself miserable trying to please the world (although it's definitely important to be sensitive to others feelings and needs); and the only person I really really really really REALLY have to answer to is God. And you know what? Once I had that amazing realization, I really was happy! It was like a huge weight was lifted and the world looked a whole lot brighter and became a lot more exciting. And the love began to flow freely and abundantly from deep within. What a blessing! It's good to just... BE... isn't it?

As Shakespeare penned Polonius to advise his dear son Laertes,

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!"

Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 3, 78-82.

Carpe diem, sisters - it's yours to be had!

Hugs -

Nini

Farmgirl Sister #1974

God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!

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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl

1874 Posts

Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  05:43:45 AM  Show Profile
Love all you shared, Nini!!

Farmgirl hugs,
Linda

Country at Heart
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl

5602 Posts

Annika

USA
5602 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  06:50:35 AM  Show Profile
Last year! I don't really want to go into it here but I had gone through some petty horrible things and was always trying to be who and what others wanted me to be and one day I realized that I was comfortable being myself and didn't need anyone's permission. I'm kind of bohemian punky farmgirl, I could care a bean what others think of me anymore and I'm an opinionated old biddy too!

Love all of you "warts an' all girls"

Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
http://thegimpyfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
http://pinterest.com/annikaloveshats/



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Nancy Gartenman
True Blue Farmgirl

9094 Posts

Nancy
West Seneca New York
USA
9094 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  3:43:13 PM  Show Profile

Not yet.
Nancy Jo

www.Nancy-Jo.blogspot.com
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl

1650 Posts

Marlene
DeRidder Louisiana
1650 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  4:39:06 PM  Show Profile
At the age of 54, i realize that this is my life the only one I will ever have. You shouldn't let anyone dictate to you what, when, where, how you should live it, to do or not to do. You will miss out on so much if you do because it will not be your life anymore. I enjoy my life, I reconize you will never please everyone and not everyone will like you. It is not your job to make them like you. It will never be enough that you could do. So with that I am a chubby happy creative fun loving farmgirl who knows there's more to life than someone else's plans for her.
Whoohoo!
Happy Dancing
Marlee

God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter!

Silly Boys Trucks Are For Girls
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kysheeplady
True Blue Farmgirl

1291 Posts

Teri
KY
USA
1291 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  5:07:41 PM  Show Profile
mid 30's ... always been sort of a rebel tho. I have never put much stock in what MOST people think or do. I am my own person always have been always will be. Comes from being a divorced mother at 22!I graduated from HS in 1974. We all had to put a caption under our photos ... mine, and still is how I believe to this day is "to each his own"
That is how I live my life, what you do is your business, and what I do mine. I can only stand up at the end and answer for me.
Not that I don't care about people, I just don't care enough to worry about what they think about me. I am happy with me ... I do like the person in the mirror.

Teri

"There are black sheep in every flock"

White Sheep Farm
www.whitesheepfarm.com
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LouisvilleMom
True Blue Farmgirl

246 Posts

Kathryn
Louisville KY
USA
246 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  6:00:49 PM  Show Profile
Just recently probably within the past few years. I found my soulmate of a best friend and became pretty comfortable in my own skin. I realized that I NEED to be in a small cohesive community and the suburbs are a weight on my soul. I still struggle with some issues but I know who I am and who I want to be. I also know who I do and do not want in my life and keeping up with the Joneses, Smiths, etc holds no interest to me.

SAHM mom to four great boys.

http://ksfarnsworth.blogspot.com/
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter

14023 Posts

CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores Colorado
USA
14023 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  6:43:48 PM  Show Profile  Send ceejay48 a Yahoo! Message
Not until after I was in my 50s did I start to feel like it was OKAY to be ME!
But, it wasn't until after I turned 60 that I REALLY got to the "YIPPEE, SKIPPEE, I'M OKAY and I LIKE ME" stage.
You see, I'm a "recovering perfectionist" . . . hard for me to get to that point!
But, what a relief! What freedom!
YAY!
CJ

..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665.
2010 Farmgirl Sister of the Year
Mother Hen: FARMGIRLS SOUTHWEST HENHOUSE

living life - www.snippetscja.blogspot.com

from my hands - www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com

the "Purple Thistle" http://www.ceejay48.etsy.com

from my heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com

from my hubby - www.aspenforge.blogspot.com
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katmom
True Blue Farmgirl

17479 Posts

Grace
WACAL Gal WashCalif.
USA
17479 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  7:03:38 PM  Show Profile
I to can atest,,, that with age comes wisdom & freedom to be me...what ever that may be!
Truly, I am whatever I want to be, whenever... from my clothing, hair color, likes & dislikes... I have given myself permission to be free....and funny and spontaneous and serious and goofy and and and a bit wackadoodle at times...
isn't it gr8t when we finally get it... that the only person we need to impress is ourselves....and out pets! lol!



>^..^<
Happiness is being a katmom and Glamping Diva!

www.katmom4.blogspot.com & http://graciesvictorianrose.blogspot.com

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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl

7577 Posts

Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  7:09:20 PM  Show Profile
You GO, Grace! You GO! Hugs - Nini

Farmgirl Sister #1974

God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!

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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl

4427 Posts



4427 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  7:25:48 PM  Show Profile
OH I am still not at the * I like me completely* stage...yet. I am okay with what and who I am but really truly like ME??? No but at least I am content to be who I am...and that is a whole lot better than a few yrs back . Moving here has been a wonderful step in the right direction. HERE I really am where I want and ought to be....just me, a happy enough women who likes her new home, loves brother and brother in law...like my friends here. Yup I am content enough to be happy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy

(Formerly living in the Netherlands, but now I live in Thailand *__*)

http://pinkprincessinthailand.blogspot.com/
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Annette Kath
True Blue Farmgirl

198 Posts

Annette
Carlock IL
USA
198 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2012 :  9:55:20 PM  Show Profile
I am 41 going on 42. I have always been relatively comfortable with myself. For me, it's been a matter of accepting where I'm at in life and what's taking place all around me. I really felt happy with my life this past summer. It would be great to hope it never changes but then again it might. I still growing everyday.


Annette
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shanda
True Blue Farmgirl

522 Posts

Shanda
Broken Bow OK
USA
522 Posts

Posted - Oct 26 2012 :  08:50:52 AM  Show Profile
I'm not sure I'm totally "there" yet, but when I hit my 40s it was like I woke up to me. I know who I am and who I'm not, what I want and don't want and how I want my life to be. I now live with more focus. I'm on the path to being just me!!

Shanda

Farmgirl #4233
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Beverly Gill
True Blue Farmgirl

1114 Posts

Beverly
Marlborough
USA
1114 Posts

Posted - Oct 26 2012 :  7:54:45 PM  Show Profile
Me....I am as content with life and what and who I am as a peacock.

I turned 64 on the 24th.......and I realized then and a few months ago.....now is the time......seize the moment and rejoice...no matter what happens.And I am, and I will no matter whats in store.

Beverly Gill in New Delhi, India

There's no place like home
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl

985 Posts

Lorena
Centerville Me
USA
985 Posts

Posted - Oct 28 2012 :  1:09:01 PM  Show Profile
I think for me the process began when I turned 31. I was not handling a bad break up well (no drinking or drugs just depression) . I just became a no nonsense girl. I placed an ad on yahoo personals stating what I was looking for exactly in a man and low and behold I met the man who became my dh. I guess I really think Ive gotten myself figured out but we'll see what happens.

Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie
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.Linz.
True Blue Farmgirl

118 Posts

Lindsey
Shippensburg Pennsylvania
USA
118 Posts

Posted - Oct 29 2012 :  06:45:49 AM  Show Profile
For me it was last year, in August soon after we got the goats. That really helped me clarify my focus and realize who and what I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to do, and a I have a general idea of how I'm supposed to get there. That this farming life I was born into was something to embrace, not escape.


"Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds." - Prov. 27:23
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl

1599 Posts

Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts

Posted - Oct 29 2012 :  07:31:26 AM  Show Profile
"I just became a no-nonsense girl." I like that and will remember it.

My website:

http://twohorseswalkingdesigns.com

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/twohorseswalkingdesigns

Pinterest:

http://pinterest.com/goneirish/

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Rustic Reb
True Blue Farmgirl

97 Posts

Rebecca
Pickford Michigan
97 Posts

Posted - Nov 12 2012 :  10:35:40 AM  Show Profile
Early forties for me. I am seeing all these replies that say fifties. Can't wait to see what they hold for me!

Don't be sorry that it's over... Be glad that it happened.
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl

6066 Posts

Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts

Posted - Nov 21 2012 :  11:16:19 AM  Show Profile
Winona - loved your post. I have noticed also that I can let go of the opinions of others and state my beliefs so much easier than when I was younger. Go girl! It started happening for me when I was in my 50's and is getting stonger all the time. However, it was a little touchy during election time!!! :)

Farmgirl #31

www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com

Psalm 51: 10-13

Edited by - jpbluesky on Nov 21 2012 11:17:00 AM
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Bushel n Peck
True Blue Farmgirl

251 Posts

Tracy
Truly MT
USA
251 Posts

Posted - Nov 21 2012 :  3:53:24 PM  Show Profile
I am still learning this lesson, but I am much more in tune with my "authentic self".
I care less for fashion, and today's manners ( or lack thereof )!
I am much happier knowing that God is God and I am his beloved child, He is the only one I need to please :)
Embracing the peaceful quiet of the countryside, adopting a simple lifestyle, and ignoring the noise of modern life has helped immensely!

my blog: http://bushelnpeck.blogspot.com

my doTerra essential oils online store:
http://www.doterra.myvoffice.com/tracyajohnson/

I sing because I'm happy; I sing because I'm free!
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches over me.
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