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Across the Fence:  Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!!  |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 23 2014 : 7:44:34 PM
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Oh Grace, that picture is too much! Thanks, it feels so good to giggle.
The Rules of Chocolate Part 2
Chocolate also contains milk which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean is a vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category too. Therefore chocolate is a vegetable.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Apr 27 2014 : 5:05:02 PM
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A boat pulled up to the dock. A beautiful woman gets out and she has a parrot on her shoulder, a man on the dock asked "Where did you get that?"
" Met online " said the parrot...
LOL
Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter!
Silly Boys Trucks Are For Girls |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Apr 27 2014 : 6:03:11 PM
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The Rules of Chocolate, Part 3
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way at least you'll get one thing done.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all of your chocolate it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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katmom
True Blue Farmgirl
17260 Posts
Grace
WACAL Gal
WashCalif.
USA
17260 Posts |
Posted - Apr 28 2014 : 2:05:01 PM
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ok, Susan, I am thinking,,, you are on to something here... (rules of chocolate) and it is pretty pathetic when you(me) & hubby are heading home and you(me) have to beg hubby to drop you(me)off at the market... to buy a bag of OREOS... only to be followed into the store (by hubby) and then 5min later the 2 of you(us) are standing at the check-out counter w/3 packages of cookies... I swear,,, true story!.jpg)
>^..^<
Happiness is being a katmom and Glamping Diva!
www.katmom4.blogspot.com & http://graciesvictorianrose.blogspot.com
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Apr 28 2014 : 8:22:12 PM
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Don't know which I like better, the story or the horse!
Today's theme, for me, is exercise.
Being part of the human race does not count as exercise.
The only yoga stretch I've perfected is the yawn.
Does running late count as exercise?
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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katmom
True Blue Farmgirl
17260 Posts
Grace
WACAL Gal
WashCalif.
USA
17260 Posts |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2014 : 5:43:25 PM
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Today I heard Professor Emilio de Grazie, poet/author speak at a conference. He asked if we wanted to hear an Italian joke. Of course the audience agreed so he said,
A grasshopper walked into a bar.
The bartender "Do you know there's a drink named after you?"
The grasshopper said, " Why would anyone name a drink Mario?"
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2014 : 1:02:30 PM
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Nini: I love this! I am reading through all the pages and laughing so hard! This is too funny!!!!!!
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2014 : 4:34:24 PM
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Marly my sweet friend. So good to see you on here! YAY
Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter!
Silly Boys Trucks Are For Girls |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2014 : 4:46:52 PM
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Hugs to you Sweet Marlee!!!!! Finally, I have the internet set up to my computer. It has been almost a year without. LOL Big hugs to you Marlee Friend.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2014 : 11:38:06 AM
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Usually when you have to explain a joke it loses a lot of impact but I hope you will enjoy this one anyway.
Many early settlers of Minnesota were Scandinavian. One traditional Scandinavian food is lutefisk. It is made from aged (air-dried whitefish) or dried/salted whitefish and lye. It is gelatinous in texture, and has an extremely strong, pungent odor. Its name literally means "lye fish." If you aren't of Scandinavian heritage it is pretty tough to even imagine, much less enjoy.
Al was telling us that when he married a woman who grew up in Minnesota he was expected to share in the delight of lutefisk at a local church dinner.
He said he soon discovered you can tell a lot about someone's heritage by how they eat their lutefisk.
If they pour on lots of melted butter, they are Norwegian.
If they slather on a lot of cream sauce, they are Swedish.
If they cover it with sand, they are a cat.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2014 : 09:12:30 AM
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Oh my goodness! I'm so glad you all have kept this going! CRACK ME UP!!! Sorry I've been away for a while - life! What a thing!
Okay - my son made this one up... Thought it was pretty good:
Why did Batman come running out of church?
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Christian Bale
Happy Mother's Day to you and your Moms!
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2014 : 5:23:39 PM
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You Know You've Turned Into a Mom When...
You automatically double-knot everything you tie.
You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.
You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school!
You actually start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.
You weep through the scene in Dumbo when his mom is taken away, not to mention what Bambi does to you.
You get soooo into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells.
You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, "Mom, why don't you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?"
You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak!
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2014 : 08:09:56 AM
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Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2014 : 3:14:09 PM
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Susan: The chocolate rules are priceless. At least to me, a chocoholic, they are!!!
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2014 : 12:16:58 PM
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"A Blonde's Diary"
MONDAY: It's so much fun to cook for Ron. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. Fortunately, the neighbors were kind enough to loan me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY: Ron wanted fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said serve without dressing so, I didn't dress. What a surprise when Ron brought his boss home for dinner.
WEDNESDAY: A great day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed sort of silly, but I took a shower. I can't say it improved the rice any.
THURSDAY: Today, Ron asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Ron asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was exactly the same as when I left.
SATURDAY: Ron did the grocery shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (Oh boy). For some strange reason, Ron keeps counting to ten.
SUNDAY: Ron's parents came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast, but all I could find was hamburger. Suddenly, I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. Much to my disappointment, it still came out hamburger.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY: This has been such an exciting week. I can hardly wait for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Ron. If only we could get a larger oven, I would love to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.
Apologies to the other blondes around here, maybe since my hair is getting closer to white I don't take these too seriously. any more.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Jun 14 2014 : 4:49:52 PM
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Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3979 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3979 Posts |
Posted - Jun 15 2014 : 09:04:39 AM
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This is Garrison Keiller's favorite joke. It has taken me many years to even begin to get it.
Two penguins were sitting on the ice.
One turns to the other and says: "Hey, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo."
The other says: "What makes you think I am not?"
Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2014 : 06:35:59 AM
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Marly! OMGoodness! It's SO good to see you!!! It didn't even click when I posted last! How was the big move? How is your new home? How are YOU?!
Okay... My Mom sent the funniest email this morning, and these were some of my favorite funnies:
(I swear I've been here!)
(My husband actually did this to my son a couple of years ago - and it worked! LOL!)
Happy giggles!
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2014 : 06:50:48 AM
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Nini--love the jokes! Everytime I see a young man with saggy pants I have to resist the urge to go over to him and yank them up. One guy in our town reported to the police that a biker had stopped, slapped him, and yanked up his pants, then rode off. They never found the biker (I doubt they even looked for him). I know teens feel the need to rebel against society, but really. That's funny that your husband did just what the younguns' are doing--that's one way to stop them!
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2014 : 08:40:45 AM
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See? And I'm so mean - I don't want to pull them up, I want to yank them DOWN and watch them trip over them so they become embarrassed in front of everyone in eyeshot and really learn their lesson. You're a much better farmgirl than me, Cindy! LOL!
<No... I'd never actually do that... But I have imagined it and chuckled about it on more than one occasion!>
Why on EARTH do they think that's cool?! Ugh... I could go on, but I will stop myself! :)
Have a good one!
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3979 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3979 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2014 : 09:26:31 AM
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I have heard that the saggy pants thing started in prison. When a new person came in they were supposed to wear their pants that way until they were <ahem> broken in. The garment alteration provided easy access and a signal who was freely available until they got someone to "protect" them. I just don't understand why this trend of "pants on the ground" has lasted so long.
For my part, I have to hold back my urge to snap their underwear elastic like we used to do in grade school.
Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2014 : 11:24:49 AM
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Oh my goodness, Marie! That's HORRIBLE! I never heard that before! You're right: Why on earth would they want to emulate ANYTHING associated with THAT?! Yikes! Horrible!
LOL! I like that - the big snap! That'd get their attention!
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Across the Fence: Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!! |
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Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!!
