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Across the Fence:  Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!!  |
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 11 2014 : 10:21:32 AM
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Darlene...I thought that was funny. So typical of kids too.
Hugs,
Peggy
Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com
"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"
"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."
"Believe in yourself and let the glitter fly!" P.Smith Mail Art Hostess |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2014 : 12:25:10 PM
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LOL! Oh my goodness, Darlene - too funny! :)
Did you hear the joke about the germ? On second thought, never mind… It’s probably not a good idea to spread it around. ;)
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2014 : 12:30:04 PM
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CUTE NINI!!! LOL
No, please don't spread that!
Hugs,
Peggy
Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com
"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"
"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."
"Believe in yourself and let the glitter fly!" P.Smith Mail Art Hostess |
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katmom
True Blue Farmgirl
17259 Posts
Grace
WACAL Gal
WashCalif.
USA
17259 Posts |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2014 : 5:16:20 PM
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LOL! That's great, Grace! Around here, women don't fart... we "fluff..." ;)
Okay... I wasn't sure whether to post this one or not, but since we're on the subject...
What do you call a teacher who refuses to fart in public?
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A private tutor.
Happy giggles, girls -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2014 : 02:28:31 AM
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What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
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“Look Grandpa! No hands!”
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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nndairy
True Blue Farmgirl
3306 Posts
Heather
Wapakoneta
Ohio
USA
3306 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2014 : 12:32:34 PM
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There was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake struck. All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing. The farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, "Why didn't you fall down like the rest of the herd?" The bull replied, "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."
Heather
Farmgirl Sister #4701
http://nndairy.blogspot.com/
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2014 : 12:06:57 PM
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LOL! Loved that one, Heather! LOL!
Why was the insomniac sent to jail?
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He resisted arrest…
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Killarney
True Blue Farmgirl
5819 Posts
Connie
Arlington
TN
USA
5819 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2014 : 12:38:00 PM
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I love all these!! Heather too cute!!
My brain is too tired to think of a cute joke right now, but I want to share this picture because it is on my screensaver and it makes me laugh out loud every time It comes up. My Uncle Jimmy's grandsons, Gage and Hunter and they were suppose to be getting ready to go to a baseball game and the mud puddle was too much to resist for 2 little country boys!
Connie
Imagine....#3392 |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2014 : 1:56:01 PM
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LOL! Oh my gosh, Connie - they are just too adorable! I have one of our son and his best buddy after "swimming" in the mud one day when they were about 6 or 7... I'm going to have to try to find it for you - I think you'll enjoy that, too! :) Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2014 : 2:17:05 PM
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I found this in Reader's Digest. I'm not the greatest at jokes but wanted to get in on this fun.
My grandfather is a meat and potatoes guy. Once, while getting dinner ready, I asked how he liked his vegetables prepared. He said," Fed to a cow, so they'll turn into steak."
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2953 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2953 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2014 : 2:22:21 PM
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Sunday morning, and church service is going strong, when suddenly, in the back of the church, the devil appears.
Everyone screams, and scrambles to get out of church, out every exit, through a window, whatever it takes.
One man, however, sits quietly in the pew, as if the evil one did not phase him at all.
The devil approaches the man and says "Do you know who I am??"
The man replies, "Yes, I do know"
The devil continues, "And you are not afraid?"
The man, "Nope"
THe devil, "And may I ask, why not?"
THe man, "Well, I married your sister"
"We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” – R.R. |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2953 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2953 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2014 : 2:25:46 PM
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Susan,
I love that
"We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” – R.R. |
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2014 : 4:31:46 PM
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Nini...that is FUNNY GIRL!
Hugs,
Peggy
Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com
"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"
"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."
"Believe in yourself and let the glitter fly!" P.Smith Mail Art Hostess |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2014 : 09:55:13 AM
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LOL! Susan! Lisa! Good ones!!! :)
During dinner at his in-law's, a cannibal husband leans over and says to his wife, "I'm sorry, I just don’t like your Mother."
His cannibal wife looks at him with disgust and replies, "Then try the potatoes."
Tee hee... Don't know why, but that one just cracked me up! LOL!
Happy gigglin', girls!
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2014 : 09:30:17 AM
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An old farmer was walking down the path to the pond when he spotted a bullfrog.
He reached down and grabbed the frog and started to put him in his pocket when the bullfrog said, "Kiss me on the lips and I will turn into a beautiful farmer's wife."
Again the old farmer started to put the frog in his pocket.
The frog asked, "Didn't you hear what I said?"
The farmer looked at the frog and said," At my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Edited by - Ninibini on Jan 16 2014 10:15:53 AM |
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nndairy
True Blue Farmgirl
3306 Posts
Heather
Wapakoneta
Ohio
USA
3306 Posts |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2014 : 10:14:24 AM
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LOL! Heather - It made me think of my uncle and aunt back home... Too funny!
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2014 : 10:03:38 AM
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A drunk stumbles into a bar one day and asks the barkeeper, "If I show you a trick, will you give me a free drink?"
The Barkeep replies, "Well, that depends on how good of a trick it is."
The Drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a chipmunk. He places him behind the piano, and the chipmunk starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard. Absolutely amazed, He pours the drunk his drink.
After downing his drink, the drunk says, "If I show you another trick can I have another free one?"
The barkeep says "Mister, if it's anything like that last one, you can drink free all night."
So the drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano, and the rat starts scatting along with the chipmunk.
The barkeeper is absolutely blown away and starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink 'em. The drunk finally passes out on the floor.
A big time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act, and frantically asks the barkeeper who it belongs to.
The barkeeper points to the drunk, and says, “They’re his… Good luck waking him up, though. He has been drinking all night long.”
The agent seizes his opportunity. He rouses the drunk and says, "I will give you one million dollars for that act."
Still in a stupor, the drunk hiccups and replies, "Nahp… soooreeee. naaaht fer shhhale".
The agent smirks greedily and says, "Ok, then, how about a hundred grand for just the scatting rat?"
The drunk snorts and says, "T’s a deal, missssterrr."
Thrilled with the deal, the agent immediately writes the check and darts off with the rat.
The barkeeper is incredulous. He goes over, helps the drunk to his feet and says, "I can’t believe you did that! What is wrong with you?! You had a Million dollar act, and just broke it up for a measly 100 g's?! Are you nuts?!"
The Drunk chortles and replies, "Relaaaxxxx, m’friend… <hiccup> The chiiiipmunk’s a ventriloquist."
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Edited by - Ninibini on Jan 17 2014 10:08:02 AM |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2014 : 12:38:32 PM
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The Mommy Test
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart."
I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2014 : 1:47:07 PM
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Nini and Susan...good ones girls!!!
I love coming on here for my daily Comic Fix.
Love and Hugs,
Peggy
Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com
"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"
"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."
"Believe in yourself and let the glitter fly!" P.Smith Mail Art Hostess |
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katmom
True Blue Farmgirl
17259 Posts
Grace
WACAL Gal
WashCalif.
USA
17259 Posts |
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Killarney
True Blue Farmgirl
5819 Posts
Connie
Arlington
TN
USA
5819 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2014 : 3:24:14 PM
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My ribs hurt from laughing!!! Thanks!
Connie
Imagine....#3392 |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 18 2014 : 10:00:23 AM
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LOL! SUSAN!!!! LOL!!!!
Why was the math book so sad?
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Because it had so many problems...
;)
- Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
Posted - Jan 18 2014 : 2:10:57 PM
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This isn't a joke, but gave me a chuckle for the day. My grandsons had a sleep over with us last night. This morning I was making breakfast and looked up and saw that my 4 year old grandson had found a place for his Woody doll to sleep for the night. He was tucked in a bunch of my bananas on the counter. What a hoot, way better than the Elf on the Shelf. LOL |
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Across the Fence: Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!! |
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Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!!
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