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Across the Fence:  Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!!  |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2953 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2953 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 02 2014 : 1:01:57 PM
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HA Heather! Never second guess a rancher
Since corny jokes seem to be readily accepted here... here is my corniest.
A frog goes into a bank, and addresses the teller, Miss Patricia Wack.
He says, "I am Steve Jagger, son of Mick Jagger. I need to borrow some money, a couple hundred thousand."
The teller replies, " YOu will need some collateral in order to borrow such a large sum"
Steve, the frog hands her a small ceramic pink elephant.
The teller is confused, so goes back to talk with her manager.
"I'm not sure what to do. This frog says he is the son of Mick Jagger, and gave me this to secure a high dollar loan. What is this anyway?"
THe bank manager replies, "It's a knick knack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone!!"
I know, I know, sorry
"We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” – R.R. |
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2014 : 3:35:24 PM
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Lol at all these jokes. I am horrible at jokes, but I remember some of the original cracks my dad used to come up with. Once he was leaning into the car of his cousin, who had his wife and five children all packed into the station wagon. His cousin mentioned how crowded the car was. Very quietly my dad said to his cousin, the father, "Bobbie if you're not careful, you gonna screw yourself right out of a seat." Now my dad never said a bad word and was not into dirty jokes....this was the closest he ever came. I hope it does not offend anyone!!!
Farmgirl #31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
Edited by - jpbluesky on Feb 02 2014 3:44:45 PM |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2014 : 6:02:04 PM
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This is so much fun! Keep them coming!
3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are talking about you, what would you like them to say?
The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2014 : 7:48:05 PM
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A mother's 5 year old son ran to her while she was in the kitchen. "Mommy where did I come from, where did people come from?" She says to her son" Well honey God made people, he made Adam and Eve and they had children and so on and that is why you are here today". The little boy said "Ok". He ran to his daddy. " Daddy where did people come from where did I come from? His daddy said "Well son a million years ago when apes walked the earth as time went on they begin to change in to human beings and that why were here today" The little boy said "Ok". He ran back to mommy." Mommy you told me God made people, but daddy said we come from apes!" She kneeled down in front of her son. "Honey mommy was talking about her side of the family and daddy was talking about his."
Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter!
Silly Boys Trucks Are For Girls |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2014 : 03:20:56 AM
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LOL! OOooooohmygosh! I was reading these to my family yesterday, and we were all in stitches! Especially over your story about your Dad, Jeannie! That's HILARIOUS! You just can't make the best ones up! LOL!
My family are diehard football fans – there is just no other way to put it. My sister loves the Broncos; my mother and brother, the Ravens; my dad, the Patriots; and my husband, son and I bleed Black and Gold for the Steelers (I had the transfusion when I moved to PA from New England… it was a matter of survival – these Pittsburgh Steelers fans mean business! LOL!). Needless to say, you can just imagine the family competition and ribbing throughout the football season.
Last night after the Super Bowl, our son just couldn’t resist shooting a razzing jab-text over to his favorite, beloved Aunt.
“Wow. The Broncos really got their butts whooped and handed to them on a platter, huh?” he taunted.
Obviously annoyed and still stinging from the disappointing loss, my sister indignantly replied, “Well, at least they’re not as bad as the Steelers!”
To which my smart-aleck son responded, “Yeah… but at least the Steelers would’ve tried!”
Dead silence on the other end.
It’s going to be a looooong, cold road to Phoenix in 2015.
A special congrats to the Seahawks and their fans - that game was simply amazing!
Happy Monday, Girls!
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Edited by - Ninibini on Feb 03 2014 03:21:18 AM |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2014 : 11:39:26 AM
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I just have to share... Our farmgirl sister Darlene (a.k.a. "darlenelovesart") sent some funny pics today, and this one just had me in stitches:
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2014 : 03:19:41 AM
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Here are some of my hubby's favorites:
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
A prisoner walks into a bar and yells, "OW!"
Happy day, girls!
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2014 : 06:46:56 AM
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| I love this thread. Not to hijack this, but could/would you guys post some of your favorite web videos on here too. I am trying to focus on humorous things and think it could be fun. I get some great ones that come through my friends on Facebook. If it is OK with Nini, whom started this thread I would attempt to add a couple I really liked. Some are just uplifting too if that would be OK. What do you think Nini, would that be OK? Or do I need to start a different thread? |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2014 : 10:22:27 AM
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Oh my goodness, Kem! Of COURSE!!! You don't even have to ask!!! The more giggles, the merrier the year!!! :)
BIG hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2014 : 12:57:34 PM
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Hi Girls...I haven't been on for about a week. Didn't go back and catch up on all of them but I did read this page.
Since I am from Washington State...I was thrilled that the SEAHAWKS WON THE SUPER BOWL!!!! Truth be told I love all four
of the last teams that were trying their best to make it through the Play Offs. I am a big FOOTBALL FAN! And a member
of the 12th Man Team for Seahawks.
When Paton Manning was interviewed recently about what went wrong with the Broncos on Super Bowl Sunday. I loved his
response...it was so funny:
  He said, "I don't know...but I would have thrown the towel in early but I was just afraid the Seahawks would have
just intercepted it too."  
Way to be classy Paton Manning!!!! Love that Humor!!!
Hugs,
Peggy
Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com
"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"
"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."
"Believe in yourself and let the glitter fly!" P.Smith Mail Art Hostess |
Edited by - LadyInRed on Feb 04 2014 12:59:29 PM |
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Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
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Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2014 : 5:53:06 PM
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Kem...where are you from? Are you from the Portland/Vancouver area? The reason I asked is because of
The Mercy Me Video. They are great guys and I had never seen this clip before. Thanks for sharing.
Also the clip from the Apollo was so stinking funny!!! ROFLOL
Hugs,
peggy
Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com
"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"
"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."
"Believe in yourself and let the glitter fly!" P.Smith Mail Art Hostess |
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Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2014 : 02:41:44 AM
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| I am in NW Kansas. I love the music group Mercy Me and couldn't listen to their song I Can Only Imagine enough when it was popular. Now there is Shake, and it has my undivided attention. It makes me want to get up and dance. I found the clip on You Tube. I typed in Shake Mercy Me and it popped up. The song is on the Christian radio station 91.3 FM all the time. My favorite radio station (free plug for them). |
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Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2014 : 03:09:16 AM
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KEM! Those... were... AWESOME!!!! Thank you!!!! That lady was hilarious - oh my gosh! Crack me up! And I love Mercy Me! I'm sitting here at almost 6:00 AM, just having gotten my hubby off to work... I was all sleepy-eyed and ready to head back to bed, but now I'm ready to seize the day! What an AWESOME video! I can't wait to share! Thank you!!! Thank you! Thank you!!! Simply AWESOME!!! :)
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
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Philippe Philoppe.
LOL!
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2014 : 03:14:30 AM
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What a hoot that lady is! Embracing life - way to go, Grandma!!! God bless her! Awesome!!! :)
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2014 : 08:21:24 AM
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Kem,
The first one you shared got me laughing until the tears ran down my face! How am I supposed to get anything done around here with so much fun to be had?
The last one is so touching. Thank you!
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2014 : 10:56:53 AM
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Kem....I use to be a Manager of the Large Flag Ship Store of 22 Christian Book Stores.
We had Mercy Me in Store on Several Occasions in our Music Dept. Doing Meet and Greets
When they first came on the Christian Music Scene with "I Can Only Imagine". Our Owner
at the time Pamplen Enterprises bought the rights to I can Only Imagine when they saw it was
going to be a huge hit. So, I have met all the guys in the Group. I just heard Shake on
the radio this morning and I think it is their second biggest hit. I like them...but they
aren't my favorite group in the Christian Music World...but "I Can Only Imagine" has to
top some of the biggest and best Christian Songs Ever Written. I could dance around my
house and Praise God ALL DAY LONG to that song alone.  
Hugs...
Peggy
Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com
"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"
"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."
"Believe in yourself and let the glitter fly!" P.Smith Mail Art Hostess |
Edited by - LadyInRed on Feb 05 2014 10:59:00 AM |
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2014 : 11:14:58 AM
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Farmgirl Connie Warren sent this to me today....thought it was so cute.
>
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> Subject: Cute - You have to see it, only takes 30 seconds~
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> Funniest thing I have seen in a long time. Too bad its probably true!
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> https://www.youtube.com/embed/iVL1Olreik8
Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com
"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"
"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."
"Believe in yourself and let the glitter fly!" P.Smith Mail Art Hostess |
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Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2014 : 12:26:24 PM
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PeggyAnn, that is soooo funny. I love these, keep them coming.
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2014 : 12:41:54 PM
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LOL!!! Wow... Just... Wow...
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Killarney
True Blue Farmgirl
5819 Posts
Connie
Arlington
TN
USA
5819 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2014 : 12:42:15 PM
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Peggy, That one was toooo cute and funny and true!!!!!!
Connie
Imagine....#3392 |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2014 : 02:57:45 AM
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A cowboy went down to a local ranch seeking to buy a horse. He explained to the owner that he needed a strong, fast horse to help him tend cattle. After describing his needs in detail, the rancher said, “I believe I’ve got the perfect horse for you! Thing is, though, she was trained by a very unusual wrangler who taught her the strangest commands. She doesn’t go and stop in the usual way at all. To get her going, you have to let out a big sigh and exclaim, ‘Thank God!’ To get her to stop, you have to shout, ‘Hey, hey!”
After checking the horse out, the cowboy was impressed. He turned to the owner and said, “She sure is a beauty. I don’t think the commands will be a problem. I’d like to take her for a ride before I make my final decision, though, if that’d be okay.”
“Sure,” replied the rancher.
The cowboy saddled her up and within minutes they were off. “Man, this horse can fly!” he thought to himself. He was in his glory. He took her racing through the field, up over the hill and down an old dirt road, when suddenly, the cowboy realized there was cliff up ahead in the distance. Forgetting what the rancher had told him, he shouted, “WHOA!” but the horse kept running. The cowboy started to panic. “STOP!” he cried, but the horse’s pace seemed to pick up at his pleading. No matter how hard he tried, the cowboy just couldn’t get the horse to stop, and he was running out of precious time. They were just a few feet from the cliff when the cowboy suddenly remembered what the rancher had told him. He screamed “Hey, hey!” and the horse skidded to a halt right at the cliff’s ledge.
Incredibly relieved and grateful for his good fortune, the cowboy took off his hat, held it to his chest, looked up to the sky, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said, “Thank God!”
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Across the Fence: Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!! |
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Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!!
