| Author |
Family Matters:  Really kinda disappointed.  |
|
|
GaiasRose
True Blue Farmgirl
2552 Posts
Tasha-Rose
St. Paul
Minnesota
2552 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 14 2006 : 3:01:54 PM
|
So today is Zoe's birthday. This morning at 8am, Rob got a call from the secretary at work and she said he didn't need to come in today because there wasn't much on the schedule and it was Zoe's birthday. GREAT! So we planned to go down to Brainerd to have fun family time and do a little errand running. Rob decided then that he was going to go into work for a little bit to tug home a Suburban that he is scrapping for parts (bossman gave it to him...)He said he wouldn't be gone long. He calle dme at 1:30 and said he was roped in. I told him he needed to tlel them that we had plans. He said he would see what he could do. He got home at about 4-ish. I asked if we were still going he said, "I'm thinkin' no." I walked away. VERY disappointed. Our day was ruined because he failed to stand up for himself. Brainerd is only 1/2 hour away and I still want to go tonight, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen. Our plans for a family birthday celebration are toast and I am really kinda mad and disappointed.
Sorry. Just needed to unload that.
~*~Brightest Blessings~*~
Tasha-Rose
blogs: http://gaiarose.wordpress.com
http://frugalwitch.wordpress.com |
|
|
sunshine
True Blue Farmgirl
4877 Posts
Wendy
Utah
USA
4877 Posts |
|
|
mollymae
True Blue Farmgirl
694 Posts
Molly
Visalia
California
USA
694 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2006 : 4:20:34 PM
|
Big Hugs Tasha!!!!!
Molly
http://mollymaequilts.tripod.com
"This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet."~Rumi
|
 |
|
|
jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2006 : 4:25:23 PM
|
I remember the 7th birthday for my daughter (which is also my birthday!). My hubby spent the whole day helping one of his guy friends set up a swing set for his sons. My hubby never set up a swing set for our own daughter! And he helped someone else do that on the birthday of his own wife and child! I will never get over that! It hurt so much!
I have often forgiven him - which means it is still a stuggle to this day.
Ephesians 1:17 |
Edited by - jpbluesky on Nov 14 2006 4:27:05 PM |
|
|
|
Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2006 : 4:31:56 PM
|
I know it is frustrating, but please don't let anger take over. It just isn't worth it. I used to take it personally when my husband would do such things, thinking it meant he didn't care enough about me or the boys. I have since come to realize that it is simply that he is easily distracted and often doesn't see the big picture that would include who he is hurting or disappointing. If he did realize this before hand, I am sure he would never dispappoint me like that. I think many men just don't think that "spherically" whereas as women we do. Men tend to be tunnel visioned and easily distracted, which it sounds like is what happended with your husband. Take the high road, fix a great dinner, treat him extra kindly and determine the evening can still be good. It might surprise you how he will react. DO NOT play the martyr and lay on the guilt. It is easy to do that, but it simply will drive a wedge deeper and fuel your anger. Think of ZOe and do what she needs. Not saying your husband didn't drop the ball . . . he did . . . but now you have the choice to either completely pop the ball or hopefully just dribble it in a different way that planned. I really am sorry your are disappointed. I know it hurts, but handling it positively will help all concerned . . . including you. I heard a speaker talk about repaying an offense with a blessing. In the end everyone gets blessed. Hugs and blessings!
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
|
|
|
GaiasRose
True Blue Farmgirl
2552 Posts
Tasha-Rose
St. Paul
Minnesota
2552 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2006 : 8:03:28 PM
|
Thanks so much for the encouragement.
We ended up going to DQ, getting Zoe a SECOND cake, getting disgusting fatty fast food (sooo bad but kinda yummy), renting a Harry Potter movie. I am still a little miffed at Rob, but he is making up for it. It just seemed like he wasn't making as big of a deal out of her first birthday as he should have been, as most parents do. He gets very emotionless sometimes, just like his dad, and I really dislike that about him. It gets frustrating especially with things like this.
Thanks again!!
~*~Brightest Blessings~*~
Tasha-Rose
blogs: http://gaiarose.wordpress.com
http://frugalwitch.wordpress.com |
|
|
|
~Tracey~
True Blue Farmgirl
351 Posts
Tracey
TN
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2006 : 9:50:42 PM
|
So sorry Tasha!!!! My dh gets roped in sometimes but I feel that he is providing for us and if he feels he must stay and get things done, then he must. I cannot get angry over it even though I want to!!
When things like this happen, I wait for a blessing that I wasn't expecting to follow because it usually does. I hope that makes sense. Kind of a "not my time but in God's time" thing. If I let go then more doors open up.
I am so sorry that you are hurting cause it does just stink when we want to celebrate our children and the miracle of birth and the dh's just act like it is another day!!!
Tracey,
mama to Callum 13, Katie 8, Wil 5.5, Benjamin 3 and Andrew 7 months!!
http://hansenhootenanny.blogspot.com/ |
|
|
|
jo Thompson
True Blue Farmgirl
603 Posts
Jo
the mountainside of the Chugach
in Alaska
USA
603 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2006 : 10:59:09 PM
|
Hey Tasha, I was married for a very long time the first time around, this time I've made a very big point of saying what I want in a very straight way, men need a frying pan to the head. Ask very specifically, This is what I am asking of you........ it's definitely better than anger or irritation. It is simpler than a frying pan. Then, if they don't produce you can pull out the frying pan to the head. Men just don't get subtle requests......... you are adorable of course! jo
"friends don't let friends eat farmed salmon"
http://homepage.mac.com/thomja/Anchorage/PhotoAlbum15.html |
|
|
|
BlueApple
True Blue Farmgirl
430 Posts
Julia
Oregon
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - Nov 15 2006 : 05:08:17 AM
|
I'm sorry, Tasha - men can sometimes just not get it when it comes to birthdays, etc. But I'm glad you guys were able to do some fun things for Zoe's birthday! Give her a birthday squeeze from all her farmgirl aunties!
Julia
BlueApple Farm
http://www.homesteadblogger.com/BlueAppleFarm/ |
|
|
|
julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Nov 15 2006 : 05:43:43 AM
|
Oh Tasha! I sooooo know how you feel! Sometimes I feel so sorry for my husband that she is not a girl!! Poor thing!  I firmly believe we are wired so completely differently sometimes. Most men just don't "work" at home with the kids and therefore have no real clue about the details of that world. I have found that the clearer I am about how important one particular thing is regarding home life the easier for him to understand and the better I feel having made myself perfectly clear.
Recently my husband told me that he'll be away from home on December 5th..just for the day and he'll be about 2 hours away.. Our baby is due December 10th. I was dumbfounded when he told me. I couldn't believe that he isn't on pins and needles the way that I am. By that time I'll be a ticking time bomb feeling that at any moment I could go into labor..a very anxious and totally exciting time that is bascially, mentally all-consuming. My face dropped when he told me and his response? "What? I can cancel if I have to or just hurry on home.." I burst out laughing! soooooooo clueless.. I'm giggling typing this. He just doesn't have to live with being pregnant every moment of every single day so of course it is not on his mind the same way. He can't relate at all. poor thing..so not a goddess sometimes! Likewise with our older kids. He doesn't do the job of being with them 24/7 so his ability to relate to their demands and the basic demands of the job are just completely different.
However, I make it a point to educate him when I think he's been sucked-in in such a way that is negative for our family. Its a balancing act for him to be sure but one the working world needs a better handle on.
I hope you are feeling better today.. I'll be thinking of you...DQ..ooooh snickers bar blizzard..sounding quite yummy to this preggar belly!!! Tomorrow is my birthday (41!) I've been celebrating all week! I celebrate what's called my "birthday month!" One of these days I'll have an all out parade! hahahahaha
Many smiles to you!
Julia Hayes
being simple to simply be |
|
|
| |
Family Matters: Really kinda disappointed. |
|
Really kinda disappointed.
