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Across the Fence:  Chance to start over...  |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 05 2007 : 2:32:34 PM
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I am excited and yet a bit unsure, but long story short, we have a chance at something new. Background-
We have planned for some 3 years now to always move back to Texas after DH finished his time with the Navy. We are a little under 2 years from that happening. Well, fate seems to be handing me some lemons and I feel (deep inside) it is time to make lemonade. In other words, Texas is out and CT is in. This would involve selling most of what we own (at the end of DH's Navy time) and moving cross country with just what we need to get started. DH could still apply to the police academy and I can find work in any hospital ( I am in administration).
For the past week or so, signs have been smacking me in the face to go home but today, the deal was sealed (sorta)
I am torn between my gut instinct (Got to CT) and our plans (Texas).
I think even if we went for a short time and then still moved to Texas, it would be a good thing. DH is having trouble with it but not ruling it out completely. I would love to go home, even if for a short time. If we sold everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) and just to a leap of faith, I know we will be alright. I also have gotten by and now there is just a great opportunity.
Ok...just needed to vent, chat, talk it out, etc..
Looking for some farmgirl wisdom or just a nice delightful chat.
Cheers,
Heather |
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happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2007 : 3:26:52 PM
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Heather, I don't know if you're a Christian or not (I have so much trouble keeping track of who is who and names and info -- sorry), so I don't know if this is appropriate, but if you don't mind, I'll be praying that whatever is right for you & dh will be made clear in some way. I'll be thinking of you!
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
Please visit me at www.marykay.com/pmiinch |
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Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2007 : 3:32:10 PM
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here's wishing you the best..and hoping it all works out "just right" for you.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~ |
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Nance in France
True Blue Farmgirl
1438 Posts
Nancy
St. Laurent de la Salanque
France
1438 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2007 : 04:16:00 AM
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| Hey, Heather! I cannot decipher from your post exactly what lemons have been tossed your way, why Texas is out, etc. but plans can always change (whether we want them to or not), houses can be bought and sold, things are just things, after all. What is precious you know you will hold onto, and the rest of your things can go on to other places. You also have posted recently on wanting to simplify your life. What better opportunity to whittle down your possessions to only the best!! Texas will always be there, should the time present itself for you to head that way. You and your husband will figure out the best thing for "now", and perhaps living in CT will give you both a better/longer opportunity to sock away savings so that if you do decide to buy in Texas, you will have more money to play with. Exciting times for you guys!! Nance |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2007 : 04:39:59 AM
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hi Heather,I understand what it is like to want something so bad & sometimes that blinds us but not always. You & hubby keep the communication flowing. Like happymama I'll be praying for you to have guidance. You will figure it out.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2007 : 08:30:26 AM
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Thank everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I sure do appreciate it. The lemons are that basically family members are getting older and me and the DH live, right now, 3000 miles away. Our DS has only met his grandparents once and that is it for family. I just have an opportunity to move back to CT, even in temporarily, and get some time with both of our families (mine is in CT and NY and DH's is in MASS and NY)
DH just is not as enthusiastic as I am ( I am a very throw caution to the wind type of person). I know we will find jobs so we can live and yes, cost of living will still be a bit high, but we will be alright. I know we will...I get these gut feelings and usually I am right. Yes Texas will always be there and I agree, homes can be bought and sold. We have all the basics we need to get along well. Yes Nance- I think that is one of the reasons I have been having the HUGE urge to downsize possessions. I know things happen for a reason... |
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Zahara
Farmgirl in Training
26 Posts
Buffalo
New York
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2007 : 11:11:00 AM
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alright, I am going to be the negative answer
you were the one wondering if the option is taking abuse from your family or no contact. And now you "just have the opportunity" to move to your family.
this opportunity is sell everything, have no job, look for one after your son and husband gets there, no place to live, look for a place after your son and husband gets there.
--- what an opportunity -- what you not telling us??
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2007 : 11:37:27 AM
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Zahara- Can you be more clear because I think I am confused myself. : )
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Zahara
Farmgirl in Training
26 Posts
Buffalo
New York
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2007 : 11:57:35 AM
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why has this opportunity come up? something must have happened.
did you wake up this morning and go hey I am going to drop everything and move to CT - that alright with you. and your husband going - ah, gee, ah, ahhh, eey .. you had a bad dream :-)
what is the difference between Texas, CT, an island in the middle of the ocean, a shack in the desert. What is that thorn in your side?
'I need to move out there because our son has only seen his grandparents once' - how about a visit??
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2007 : 12:07:37 PM
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I have a father who is on the verge of a major health problems, a mother who want to spend more time with my family and the rest of my siblings, including my DH's family. Out here in California, we have NO ONE. I don't want to look back and regret the fact that, for better or worse, DS should have some experience with his family.
As for visiting, with a military schedule, we just can't pick up and go when we want and the expense alone is too much for us to go more than once a year. And yes, family could come to see us, but they have their own money issues too. Both DH and I have lots of friends back there too.
I didn't mean to make is sound like DH is totally against this whole thing. It is just our very thought our plans now have to be scrapped and re-planned. Finding jobs, house, school for DS, place we can afford to survive, etc.....like I said we planned Texas for 2-3 years and now this is another step in the path of life. There are some other things going on in my personal life that I do not wish to post here as they are deeply personal.
There is no thorn in my side so I don't know what you are trying to get at. You are making me sound like "OH let's do what I want and forget everything else."
I also have been offered several jobs in the healthcare setting in the CT area. Another thing that has happened, DH is getting deployed in 1 year. I have NO ONE here- no backups, no plan, so GOD forbid something happen to me, I just don't know what would happen to my DS.
We have moved so much, that we are just starting to make slowly make friends here.
I obviously can't just move on a whim with a family to consider but I believe in things happening for a reason. I am terrible at trying to type it to make people understand so take this whatever way you would like.
Forgot to add....we won't be living right next to the family. We would still be about an hour away. |
Edited by - catscharm74 on Mar 06 2007 12:13:07 PM |
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Zahara
Farmgirl in Training
26 Posts
Buffalo
New York
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2007 : 2:20:23 PM
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had to go do something.
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
why after 2-3 years of planning Texas is CT now the plan? there is no family in Texas, so why was Texas the plan? Military Schedule would make Texas just as much of a pain as CT, so why Texas? What now makes CT better than Texas?
let me paraphrase that last post real tight : family dying, husband leaving (for the military), no friends, I have no one.
this society in which we have found ourselves in, fractures people. And makes it hard for people to find themselves and to make friends. And having the military dictate ones movement would only add to this. You feel like you are grieving.
Everyone needs a tribe. The military when they are out from their home in a strange land have their uniform, they know their tribe.
Where your tribe??
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2007 : 2:44:38 PM
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| I think I am just going to stop posting on this one. I wanted some light hearted conversation and ideas. My point is that life gives lemons and perseverance will get you through it. I think when opportunity comes knocking, I have always answered the door and found something wonderful on the other side. I am far from grieving, I am headed to the next phase of my wonderful life. |
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Zahara
Farmgirl in Training
26 Posts
Buffalo
New York
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2007 : 3:18:17 PM
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I think we all missed what you wanted the ideas and conversation on, I apparently did.
But that last post seemed downright sure. So yiha! Have a wonderful voyage. And a smooth move and the finding of a warm house.
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2007 : 05:28:04 AM
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I think MOST of us got it.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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momto6
True Blue Farmgirl
134 Posts
Valerie
Goltry
OK
USA
134 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2007 : 07:09:50 AM
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| Heather, Good luck to you with whatever your decision is. I would like to tell you I will be praying for you. I would also like to say that, in my personal experience, whenever my husband has any reservations about any decision, big or small, that is usually our God working through my husband to keep us from making that decision at that time. I'm NOT saying this is the situation for you. I will say, for you, that you and your husband, together, can work through any situation together. Although this is a stressful time for your family, don't let it drive a wedge between you and your husband; let it be an opportunity to grow closer to each other. Val |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2007 : 07:52:51 AM
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| Thanks everyone. I appreciate it.... |
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2007 : 08:47:18 AM
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One last comment...hope you don't mind...Listen to that inner voice...could be a guardian angel talking to you.
Whenever I've gone against my gut...didn't work.
When I listen...usually worked. But also remember, your husband has guardian angels too! So be sure to talk out your innermost feelings.
I hate to say with his impending deployment...the worst could happen, heavens forbid, but you may just be reacting to your anxiety or premonition of the worst case scenario and working out a safety net for you and your son. Everyone needs a safety net.
One last comment: Thank you and your husband for serving our country and helping to keep us free. I know the sacrifices you make as a military family...it is rough...so just thank you.
Lots of hugs....G
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings! |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2007 : 10:21:43 AM
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Thanks Aunt George. I know how deployment works- I was in the Navy for 6 years and made 2 deployments. And yes, I do need a safety net. It would be nice, while he is gone, to be nearer to friends and family, just in case. But also, I miss home. He does too (he is from MASS) just not as much as me. This is just an opportunity to do something new. We never thought we would be able to live there.
Thanks for all your support. I do appreciate it.
Cheers,
Heather |
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Across the Fence: Chance to start over... |
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Chance to start over...
