| Author |
Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  Still Roller-Coastering  |
|
LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
 Posted - May 18 2015 : 11:11:19 AM
|
Thank you, Alicia. I'll get the bracelet out to you asap! :D I'm glad you found something for you. It's a beautiful choice.
I am sorry for the loss of your son. I did find it rather comforting to learn the creator of Mother's Day actually hated how commercialized it had become and regretted beginning the tradition.
Thank you for the prayers, encouragement, and we look forward to possibly seeing you in the near future :D.
http://lalauland.tumblr.com
http://lalauland.etsy.com
Follow me on Twitter: @lalauland
Follow me on Instagram: @lalau427
DH & I are fundraising to keep ourselves off the streets and fed: http://gofundme.com/offstreet |
 |
|
|
Song Sparrow
True Blue Farmgirl
1010 Posts
Amy
Talleyville
Delaware
USA
1010 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2015 : 4:19:13 PM
|
Dear Laura, all I can offer right now are my prayers. You will make it through this trouble, I truly believe that! Stick to your guns and follow your dreams!
Peace in our hearts, peace in the world
Amy (Sister#6098) www.danaherandcloud.com
|
|
|
|
LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
|
|
LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
Posted - Jun 01 2015 : 7:48:19 PM
|
I return, bearing further updates.
On the family front: Several weeks back, DH contacted his father to bring him up to speed on everything going on in our lives. He explained that we planned to move, and stated the costs for this, though he asked for nothing. FIL reacted as usual. He blamed DH and I for all our problems, told DH to "control" me, etc. It was pretty bad. He then sent DH $500 to help us, along with yet another nasty note.
FIL has spoken to me all of 6 times since we married. He has zero interest in getting to know me, showing respect to me as his DIL, etc. He refuses to acknowledge my work or what it has profited us, though it is far from the millions I neither expect nor wish for. It was and is our choice as a couple to continue as we are for now as this is what works best for us in regards to our current circumstances and considerations.
As a result of all this, DH thought on it for a few weeks, and sat down to write FIL a message. He requested that FIL show us respect at least as his children, if nothing more. He gave him an ultimatum as FIL has consistently singled me out in many of his previous notes and messages. FIL refused. DH has chosen to cut ties with him unless things majorly change in the future.
I update on this as I'd like to request prayers for DH and FIL both. FIL is a generous man, who simply chooses not to listen when we have tried to share our story. For example, telling him that DH was fired from the Navy for stealing something he did not resulted in FIL hearing ONLY that DH was fired for stealing and blames the Navy for it. He claims we both play the victim in everything. I'll neither refute nor agree with this. Neither will I apologize for taking a brief pity-party-breakdown for myself for new disasters and unfamiliar territory, as I believe this is important to the healing process. Much like sadness and anger are healing of grief. Just prayers. That is all I ask in this department.
Next!!! Moving:
DH and I are, as we mentioned last post, moving to Montana!! Woot!! There is so much to think about for this... DH and I are making a brave attempt to save the money necessary for this trip ourselves, though we will also welcome donations.
A friend and I worked out the details on renting a vehicle for 30 days plus the gas for the trip... I know that sounds like a lot, but we have reasoning for this. While DH and I are not going into this blindly, we cannot do walkthroughs of homes, or speak directly, face-to-face with potential employers until we arrive in Missoula. The employers bit may not be as much of a problem since DH will be a truck driver, but he likely will not have attended school for this yet. He is making calls to Missoula trucking companies to see if they will
-- Pay him while attending school in addition to paying for school.
-- Potentially allow him to work in a truck washer capacity while attending school.
That said, we're looking at arriving in Missoula with no jobs and no home to live right away. So the 30 days is to prepare for that. It will allow us to live in a vehicle for a time if absolutely necessary. We're doing research on this end to try to avoid that, but there are no guarantees. We're donning our gear in the event the stuff hits the fan... The costs the friend and I came up with was circa $1200 to cover the rental, gas and food.
DH makes about $1300/mo. Out of this, we pay half the rent and utilities {$325/mo}, groceries {remember, we no longer have food stamps as DH now earns too much to qualify} for ourselves for 2 weeks per check, and our pets' food / care. We also have a phone {$50/mo} which we consider a necessity for obvious reasons. Our plan has been to leave July 15th, or the last week in July at the latest. Reasons are
-- Knife Makers show in Missoula in early August would guarantee DH an opportunity to speak to some men about possibly learning the craft. He's interested in this as a potential money-making hobby.
-- Our arrangement here is temporary, though the owner of the home is open to us staying "as long as [we] like". The greatest issues here are the bills we have to pay {though VERY reasonably priced} and that he's not particularly fond of cats... He has graciously allowed ours. At least for now. So far there have been zero problems with this on the homeowner's end. He and his girlfriend even stepped into our room one evening to look at the kitties and exclaim over how cute they were. I count that as a plus, but let's not push it by having our Alley Cats overstay their welcome...
-- Winter comes much earlier in the North than here... 'Nough said.
-- With our plans to stop and visit some folks along the way, we were hoping to use local parks. Best if it's summer / early fall for that.
Having done the figures multiple times, we figured out we need to be saving somewhere around $500-600 per month for this to work out in the timeframe we've provided ourselves. So far, we've very little saved. We'll be talking to the homeowner this week about it and see if we can trade household chores and helping with fixing up some things around the place {it's run down, and the owner is making gradual repairs to some areas, and painting} instead of paying money for rent / utilities. DH is also looking into seeing if he can mow lawns for families with mowers that are within walking distance on weekends. We're cutting corners every way we possibly can.
Changes coming to the GoFundMe:
After some discussion, DH and I decided the current GoFundMe campaign is no longer suitable. We will be creating a new campaign, sharing our journey from now till Missoula. FIL claimed that we were "begging for money"... yes. But it is our hope that those who donate do so in the understanding that we are making our own working efforts on this end, and that my Etsy shop is wide open to them for a reason. We do not expect something for nothing, we sincerely appreciate any efforts made toward assisting us. Furthermore, any assistance granted / offered is used specifically for the purpose which it was designed for. Any left-overs are set aside for similar purposes should further need arise.
We're extremely excited about all of this. The travel, and whatnot. This is seriously the most daring thing we've ever done as a couple. I don't know how long it will take us to get our heads truly above water, but I look forward to seeing what God's going to do with this. I have an inkling we're all gonna be blown away by it. Keep your eyes peeled for even more, and thank you for reading thus far! I know it's a lot to take in.
http://lalauland.tumblr.com
http://lalauland.etsy.com
Follow me on Twitter: @lalauland
Follow me on Instagram: @lalau427
DH & I are fundraising to keep ourselves off the streets and fed: http://gofundme.com/offstreet |
|
|
|
Song Sparrow
True Blue Farmgirl
1010 Posts
Amy
Talleyville
Delaware
USA
1010 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2015 : 03:47:08 AM
|
Hi Laura, I will continue to pray for you and your hubby as you prepare for your adventure. Also praying for your FIL to grow in compassion. Miracles happen every day! :)
Peace in our hearts, peace in the world
Amy (Sister#6098) www.danaherandcloud.com
|
|
|
|
notathreatinsight
True Blue Farmgirl
626 Posts
Erin
Monroeville
IN
USA
626 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2015 : 06:05:33 AM
|
Laura, praying for your husband and father in law to reconcile, and for your father in law to respect and accept you. I will also pray for your trip. That you will have the preparations you need for the journey ahead. God bless you both.
Erin
Farmgirl #3762
"It is... through the world of the imagination which takes us beyond the restrictions of provable fact, that we touch the hem of truth." - Madeleine L'Engle
http://www.etsy.com/shop/femmepostale/
http://www.pinterest.com/femmepostale/ |
|
|
|
churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3919 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3919 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2015 : 07:47:33 AM
|
As I have said before, you can stay with us for a night inside safe and snug when you get here.
Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
|
|
|
LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2015 : 11:10:22 PM
|
Thank you to Amy, Erin, and Marie! Much appreciated.
Today was a bit of a hassle...
About 3 weeks ago, we learned that:
A. Ryo, {our solid black kitty} is allergic to the cat food we've been using. We quickly switched to grain free for her, and consequently dealt with cat poo worthy of a large family of skunks for a week.
B. Went to the store for Gingy's food and found they didn't have it in stock, but he was out of food, so we had to buy something. So we got the cheapest thing they had... a grain free option from Iams. Then he started having messy poos a week later. Then I noticed a little blood and jelly in it. Gave him chicken broth. That stopped. Then I noticed his bum had an issue, so I did online research to learn that he likely had an anal sac problem.
This morning, the sac ruptured, so I got him to the ONLY vet in our area that:
A. Wouldn't try charging an arm, leg, and spleen for a first visit, exam and medications.
B. Seemed content to hear my concerns in full as opposed to rushing me off the phone as quickly as possible. They even asked questions, which is super impressive to me -- the last vet who cared was in Georgia.
Sadly this is money we should have saved. We learned a valuable lesson about switching his food, though... And on a happier note, we joked through the whole thing as usual. I think my favorite thing about this experience has been the fact that just days ago, I saw this text message from dog to owner floating around the web:
Dog - "How long do I have to wear this cone?"
Human - "Til your stitches come out."
D - "It's HUMILIATING"
H - "WELL STOP FIGHTING SQUIRRELS"
D - "I KEEP BUMPING INTO WALLS AND STUFF"
H - "So SIT DOWN"
D - "WHEN I SIT DOWN I LOOK LIKE A DESK LAMP"
Soo... with that in mind... here's a photo for you... https://instagram.com/p/3cjR71rV1s/
http://lalauland.tumblr.com
http://lalauland.etsy.com
Follow me on Twitter: @lalauland
Follow me on Instagram: @lalau427
DH & I are fundraising to keep ourselves off the streets and fed: http://gofundme.com/offstreet |
|
|
|
LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2015 : 6:25:59 PM
|
We've had a rough week... DH learned some things his family has never told him, even lying to him, regarding his childhood. I suppose these things won't matter in the grand scheme of things, but they were pretty emotional things.
We're okay. DH has chosen indifference, and I had an anxiety attack, but there it is.
I appreciate your continued prayers for the situation with my FIL. I also ask prayers for healing for my MIL... and thankfulness for my "outlaw"... MIL's SO for being more of a father to DH than FIL has been.
http://lalauland.tumblr.com
http://lalauland.etsy.com
Follow me on Twitter: @lalauland
Follow me on Instagram: @lalau427
DH & I are fundraising to keep ourselves off the streets and fed: http://gofundme.com/offstreet |
|
|
|
Song Sparrow
True Blue Farmgirl
1010 Posts
Amy
Talleyville
Delaware
USA
1010 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2015 : 7:55:26 PM
|
Continuing to pray for everyone!
Peace in our hearts, peace in the world
Amy (Sister#6098) www.danaherandcloud.com
|
|
|
|
LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
Posted - Jun 11 2015 : 10:41:48 PM
|
Thank you, Amy! Much appreciated. The situation will not be easily resolved, if ever, so the continued prayers surely help.
I come bearing updates again.
DH and I had figured circa $2000 in expenses for this trip, though initial costs were figured in at around $1200, which is what we plan to start with. This money is for:
- Car rental
- Gas
- Food on the road
After talking a great deal with my OLW {outlaw, MIL's SO, whom I mentioned last post}, he made a comment that got me thinking and researching. He said, "in this world, your car is your independence". He's right. When we reach Montana, we will not have a place to live at first, though the plan is to get DH a decently paying job right away, and spend a couple months saving as much / most of that cash as we can, and then get a small, one bedroom apartment or rental home. So basically, we need a better plan than a rental car we must keep re-renting for a couple months...
I hopped onto Craigslist and found a decent cash car right here in North Carolina. It will take some doing to get to it {it's in Kannapolis, and Greyhound buses don't even go to the Amtrak station there}, but it's $600, and we've plans to purchase if it's not in awful shape. I've already spoken to our expert mechanic, who happens to be the OLW mentioned above, and told him everything we've learned about the vehicle so far. He told us some things to watch out for, what to have repaired if it's leaking, and to go ahead and buy it -- if it's still available once we're able to make the purchase {saving money takes time}.
Please keep us, the seller, and this car in your prayers. I need the car to:
- Not be leaking much, if anything.
- The check engine light is on. OLW says this is most likely one of two things, I need it to be the least serious.
- This vehicle has a timing belt. The current owner is not sure if it's been replaced recently or not, though he believes it was. I need it to be.
- We'll need to register the vehicle... but we really cannot afford to do this once in North Carolina just to leave the state a month later and re-register in Montana. I need some kind of license plate to stay on the vehicle without there being any legal issues. Not to mention, this vehicle is likely not up to the NC state inspection codes -- I've no idea what this may do to our ability to register it here. Still researching.
- If there is anything truly wrong with it, I need traveling mercies to get us to at least Aiken, SC. We have an expert mechanic friend there, and my OLW would likely come up to help if things aren't too hectic with him.
This coming week, I will be in Virginia {Lynchburg, I believe}. My bestie attends school online, but occasionally must make trips there to attend classes in person. Her hubs is unable to escort her this time, so she invited me, and is paying all expenses except my bus fare, which was only $14 {from Hickory to Charlotte, where I'll meet her}. Travel safety prayers there, please. And if you're in the area, and want to meet up at a Starbucks or somewhere like that, let me know. She'll be in classes all day each day, so I'm pretty much chilling at the hotel.
Thank you for continuing to read and share this.
http://lalauland.tumblr.com
http://lalauland.etsy.com
Follow me on Twitter: @lalauland
Follow me on Instagram: @lalau427
DH & I are fundraising to keep ourselves off the streets and fed: http://gofundme.com/offstreet |
|
|
|
Song Sparrow
True Blue Farmgirl
1010 Posts
Amy
Talleyville
Delaware
USA
1010 Posts |
Posted - Jun 12 2015 : 03:31:39 AM
|
La La, you are making progress on following your dream! Praying for good result on your car quest, and a safe and happy journey to VA.
Peace in our hearts, peace in the world
Amy (Sister#6098) www.danaherandcloud.com
|
Edited by - Song Sparrow on Jun 12 2015 03:32:16 AM |
|
|
|
nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2866 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2866 Posts |
Posted - Jun 12 2015 : 08:28:58 AM
|
La La
I want to tell you about my hubby's experience with going to MT. It was before we married, so about 15 years ago. The overall economy was better than now, for sure. He had a good job at a pharm company in QA, and cashed out a chunk of 401K to go to MT. His dream was to work on a ranch. He rented a cabin in the woods, and stayed for a year. He searched and searched for any type of job,(he told me even stocking shelves at a grocery would have been great) and had no luck. He was fortunate to have the funds to keep going, but he told me about folks sleeping under cars etc. He spent his days cycling, chopping firewood, and at night ate a lot of Mexican food at a local dive.
He told me that driving (from OH), there would be stretches of land where houses were 20+ miles apart (yes he measured it; he's a dork that way).
If at all possible, I would REALLY recommend the rental car. If you break down out there,, who knows how far to get help, and you may be at the mercy of an unscrupulous mechanic who knows he is your only hope. With a rental, you wouldn't have that worry. Then when you get there, you could buy a cheap car.
I am not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but just wanted to tell you about his experience. He loved it there, and it was just gorgeous, but he couldn't sustain himself. Perhaps some MT farm girls could weigh in???
I told him about your plan, and he said you may want to consider going north through MN to N Dakota. He could get an oil job there, and save some cash for sure.
Also, the northern part of ND, near the Canadian border is beautiful, wooded etc. Maybe you could make a pit stop there and get the funds needed for your MT dream.
The cool part of this story, for me anyway: I had met hubs while riding my bike. He was interested in me but I had a boyfriend (jerk) at the time. When he left for MT, he wrote me a note with his mom's ph # on it, and said if I ever wanted to come to MT to call him. I wouldn't have done that; I barely knew him. But, about a year later, I had broken up with my jerk, and gave Jim's mom a call. He picked up the phone. He had just gotten back from MT the day before. And, as they say, the rest is history.
Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide!
"We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” – R.R. |
Edited by - nubidane on Jun 12 2015 2:01:15 PM |
|
|
|
darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7525 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7525 Posts |
Posted - Jun 12 2015 : 08:36:02 AM
|
Prayers go up for you La La.
hugs
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
|
|
|
LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
Posted - Jun 17 2015 : 3:01:49 PM
|
Thank you all for the replies!
And to Lisa, I want to say that I very much appreciate you sharing your story. Though we still plan to go to Missoula, it helps to learn and know more about what to expect when we arrive. Thank you, again. It's such a beautiful tale, of how you to came together.
The roads are being paved for us so far... it looks like the van we plan to purchase will be perfect for us. The truck driving school is one of the largest and best in the nation. Pell Grant should be able to cover most, if not all of his tuition. We're on the fast track in our savings already, and should even have some wiggle room. We also learned that as long as we have insurance, etc. for the van, we should be able to work for Uber right there in Missoula -- which would be an excellent opportunity for me during that first month or two. We're very excited about all the information we're getting here. People in Missoula whom we've spoken with seem quite eager to grant us the time of day to offer knowledge and support. We're very much encouraged.
This week, I am in Lynchburg, VA. If anyone happens to be in the Liberty University area, a friend of mine is attending classes this week, and I've joined her as she didn't wish to be in a hotel alone. Prayers for safe and timely {her teacher is being difficult regarding the time he lets them go Friday} travels back home are appreciated.
http://lalauland.tumblr.com
http://lalauland.etsy.com
Follow me on Twitter: @lalauland
Follow me on Instagram: @lalau427
DH & I are fundraising to keep ourselves off the streets and fed: http://gofundme.com/offstreet |
Edited by - LaLa on Jun 17 2015 3:06:08 PM |
|
|
|
LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
|
|
LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
|
|
LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2015 : 2:44:47 PM
|
Okay... bigger fish need frying like now... It's been a long morning, so please forgive any typos etc. at the moment.
Last week, while I was away in Virginia, DH and housemates {HM} came to a new understanding / agreement regarding our rent, etc. I came home, and on Tuesday, HM told DH he needed to go back on the arrangement. The new arrangement would have given us an opportunity to save more towards our trip so we can leave in late July.
Today, June 26th is DH's birthday!! I gave him a book, some MUCH needed clothing. His bosses told him that his 90-day probationary period at the trucking company is now up -- and he didn't get the job. Meaning he no longer works there as of today. Just before they told him that, HM, who was a co-worker came up to DH and said not to worry about rent at all, just leave by July 1st. No explanation. No reasons. Not that they would matter. We just need to leave.
To make matters just a tad worse, the day I left for Virginia, when they were dropping me off at Greyhound, DH drove us through a checkpoint. The police scanned his license to find that an old ticket from 2013 DH had totally forgotten about has remained unpaid. As a result, his license is now revoked in the state of NC. He has called the trucking school he plans to attend, and this will not create an issue for him becoming a trucker, however, the court date for the DWLR {driving with license revoked} isn't until July 10th. So he will be calling the school again, and then contacting the local clerk of court to see what, if anything can be done there as we have to leave before then. We have nowhere in this area we can stay... nowhere at all unless we waste a lot more money.
I've posted to Craigslist looking around for another vehicle. The one we were originally going to purchase fell through -- they've sold it to someone else. If we can't find one right away, our best bet at the moment is to rely on friends / family temporarily to work this out. Some family has already sent us a little money to help out with the vehicle purchase, and DH has one more check coming his way from the trucking company, but it won't be here for 2 weeks. We're changing our address immediately after the receipt of the money family has sent.
Prayers are much appreciated. Also, if you know someone in the Charlotte area, or somewhere else here in NC who is selling a running cash car they would release for $600 or less, we'll take it. Once we find a car, I will be hopping a Greyhound to the Charlotte area to pick it up. If we don't find a car right away, or if the nearest ones are too far out, we'll rent a car to go get our own. Either way... we have to leave.
Pray, please pray. I know this looks horrible, but I still say God's doing something big here. I've no idea what, but... I'm trusting Him. Thank you!
http://lalauland.tumblr.com
http://lalauland.etsy.com
Follow me on Twitter: @lalauland
Follow me on Instagram: @lalau427
DH & I are fundraising to move cross-country: http://gofundme.com/RouteWeiller |
|
|
|
Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: Still Roller-Coastering |
|
|
|
Still Roller-Coastering
