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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl

665 Posts

AnneMarie
Edmonton Alberta
Canada
665 Posts

Posted - Mar 06 2016 :  12:52:15 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My normally pleasant, though high strung nine year old daughter has since the winter just done a complete turn with her personality, doesn't want to wash her hair, have a bath, digging in her heels about school (we're home schooling this year after being in traditional school). She's just grumpy at everybody. I'm hoping that this is a phase or could be hormones starting. I'm really trying to work with her but I'm at the end of my rope with this.

I've asked her if something happened she said no. Though yesterday she said we treat each of her siblings differently, well that is true they're different personalities and ages, the oldest is 23 and an adult one is 13 one is 5 and the last is 15 months old (who she adores and dotes on).

This last year and a half was stressful for all of us. Our youngest was born with health issues and was in and out of hospital for the first 5 months of his life, had two big surgeries but he's fine now.

We've struggled with traditional school with her since kindergarten and since we decided that I wouldn't return to work we decided to give homeschooling a try, which for the most part is going well though we're teacher directed which is still very much like traditional school but at home.

I hope I haven't babbled to much here, I'm at a loss. Her two older siblings are boys and really were and still are pretty straight forward.



"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"

"The things that matter most are not really things after all"

hudsonsinaf
True Blue Farmgirl

3134 Posts

Shannon
Rozet Wyoming
USA
3134 Posts

Posted - Mar 06 2016 :  1:05:00 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
(((hugs))) AnneMarie! My oldest, now 12, went through that phase at that age... and for her, it was completely hormonal! Unfortunately, she still has to be told to take showers :/ Wit that said, she is now very independent with home school, and only gets frustrated with people once a month ;) I will be praying for wisdom as you handle this!

~ Shannon, Sister # 5349
Farmgirl of the Month - January 2016
http://hudson-everydayblessings.blogspot.com/
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl

665 Posts

AnneMarie
Edmonton Alberta
Canada
665 Posts

Posted - Mar 06 2016 :  1:25:41 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thanks Sharon I appreciate the words of encouragement. There are days where I wonder where my sweet girl went and who has replaced her.

People said boys and girls are light night and day and boy were they right.



"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"

"The things that matter most are not really things after all"
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CindyG
True Blue Farmgirl

293 Posts

Cindy
Fairfax VA
USA
293 Posts

Posted - Mar 06 2016 :  3:15:51 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Sorry for asking a really basic question, but have you talked to her doc about this? Such a big switch at that young an age could be something medical. Nine is kinda young for it to be too affiliated with a hormonal change.

And not be too much of a jerk about it, but this is something that needs very plain language and perfectly clear descriptions of the behavioral change, especially if talking to a male doc. Too often such things are swept aside when it is about girls, and too often we don't want to rock the proverbial boat and be what might be considered "pushy". Studies have shown female doctors listen longer than male doctors. Sorry guys, it si just the truth!

Cindy
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl

985 Posts

Lorena
Centerville Me
USA
985 Posts

Posted - Mar 06 2016 :  5:44:37 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hate to say it. Don't make her. When she comes home from school crying because the other kids are making fun of her, remind her that she is the one who made the choice to not shower and that the only way to fix it is to start showering. Let them fall, but let them fall softly.

Lorie

Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl

3320 Posts

Marie
Minneapolis MN
USA
3320 Posts

Posted - Mar 07 2016 :  07:17:12 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Some of the behavior described might be linked to depression. At that age, I too was reluctant to take baths. (We didn't have a shower back then.) My body was changing and I didn't want to expose myself for any length of time so that could be part of it. My advice is to praise her when she does well and be briefly kind when she messes up. Everyone wants to do well and they will do it more with positive reinforcement.

Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014

Try everything once and the fun things twice.
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl

665 Posts

AnneMarie
Edmonton Alberta
Canada
665 Posts

Posted - Mar 07 2016 :  09:29:10 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thanks for the insight ladies, I have considered other underlying issues and we do have a good female family doctor that I can consult with. Sometimes I also catch her smirking so this could be a battle of wills (hers against ours).



"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"

"The things that matter most are not really things after all"
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