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 Foster daughter's step-son - trouble
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl

978 Posts

Lora
Alexandria IN
USA
978 Posts

Posted - Mar 22 2016 :  7:55:40 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My foster daughter, who is now in her late 20's has a step son that is 15 and always in trouble. He hasn't committed any 'crimes' per say, but is on that path. His real mother provided weed and cigs to him. I have suggested she call CPS, but her husband won't let her - they will put him in foster care and not with him because he's been in trouble too.

My DH and I are going to try to help by having him come out to the farm and work until he drops. If he's tired, he won't have time to get in trouble, I hope. We've got plenty to do including cleaning stalls, stacking tons upon tons of firewood from all the 80 or so trees we had taken down last summer, raking, picking up sticks, shoveling dirt to fill raised beds, etc, etc, etc. You all know how much work there is on a farm on a daily basis.

My own DS thinks I am a drill sergeant anyway, so we'll see how it goes tomorrow. DH is picking the boy up at 8 am. since they are on spring break. No cell phones, no backtalk and absolutely no slacking.

Any other suggestions?

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com

guineahen
True Blue Farmgirl

86 Posts

Andrea
Hawley Pa
USA
86 Posts

Posted - Mar 23 2016 :  03:58:18 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Lots of love and patience but sure you knew that anyway. Is he with you for all of spring break? let us know how it goes.
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl

978 Posts

Lora
Alexandria IN
USA
978 Posts

Posted - Mar 23 2016 :  06:02:29 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
This week, he's only here for today. My DH and DS are going to my dad's place on a lake for a few days. I can't go because I have classes and somebody needs to feed the herd. lol I think he will be coming out on the weekends. DH spoke more with foster daughter this morning. I guess her husband relented and let her call CPS. Since the mother doesn't have custody, the police and CPS can't force her take a drug test - which she refused to take. She, FD, also told my DH that Jr has been being disrespectful to teachers, peers - pretty much everyone except his ROTC instructor. He throws things, back talks, breaks things... A lot of the same stuff our DS did before he spent 2 1/2 years at the Anderson Day School as part of his IEP. He told FD to contact them and see what needs to happen for Jr to be able to get sent there. That place is very strict and structured. If he throws things or acts out like fighting or whatever, its an automatic 7 day residential stay - no contact with anyone except therapists and instructors. I know it worked for our kid, maybe it would work for Jr.

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl

978 Posts

Lora
Alexandria IN
USA
978 Posts

Posted - Mar 29 2016 :  7:05:10 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Update on Jr. They went back to school Monday after spring break and some kid punched Jr. In the face. Instead of fighting back, he stepped back and let the teacher handle it. The other kid has been suspended and Jr. Is doing fine. Guess our little chats gave him some strength to resist reacting.

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com
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hudsonsinaf
True Blue Farmgirl

3134 Posts

Shannon
Rozet Wyoming
USA
3134 Posts

Posted - Mar 30 2016 :  05:18:36 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
SOOOO proud of you guys and him!!!! Continuing to pray!

~ Shannon, Sister # 5349
Farmgirl of the Month - January 2016
http://hudson-everydayblessings.blogspot.com/
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KristiW
Moderator/Farmgirl True

639 Posts

Kristine
MaryJanesFarm
USA
639 Posts

Posted - Mar 30 2016 :  10:02:59 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
That is truly encouraging Lora. I love it when we can make a difference for a young someone. In today's world, they need all the help they can get.

Kristi
Farmgirl Sister #6

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guineahen
True Blue Farmgirl

86 Posts

Andrea
Hawley Pa
USA
86 Posts

Posted - Apr 03 2016 :  05:43:38 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Yay! Good that he has your support. I am doing anger management with the inmates now using "Cage your Rage" program. Sounds like he is learning to not let others control him in that he did not give the other kid the reaction he was trying to get out of him.
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