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farmgirl68
True Blue Farmgirl

369 Posts

Katie
Bangor Pennsylvania
USA
369 Posts

Posted - Jul 29 2017 :  06:13:06 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi all. I was wondering if any of you have a similar problem as I do. My son who is 28 and live 6 hours away, borrowed quite a sum of money from my parents with the agreement that he would pay them $200/month back. I told my mom at that time he could not afford that. Anyway, instead of paying $100 or even $10/month he has paid nothing. This was 4 months ago and he has not been in contact with any of us. The only way I know he is alive is because I contact his girlfriend once in awhile to make sure (I don't want to get her in the middle so I don't overdo this.) He does suffer from bipolar. He is un-medicated. And, I am sad.

Sorry to vent; I just needed to get it off my shoulders a little bit and see if anyone else has gone through something similar and see if anyone has any suggestions. I am ready to drive to Pittsburgh and knock on his door or show up at his work!

Katie #7422
Friends are the flowers that bloom in life's garden.

churunga
True Blue Farmgirl

3077 Posts

Marie
Minneapolis MN
USA
3077 Posts

Posted - Jul 29 2017 :  09:50:15 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I believe that a friendly call to your son's phone (I assume that he doesn't answer either.) saying that you will be in town for a day and want to have dinner with him. Set a date and go. Do not wait for him to confirm. A couple days ahead of time, confirm the dinner with his girlfriend and invite her too. Get a look at him and at his place, take a picture with him and of him. If you believe that he is a danger to himself or others, he can be placed in a mental institution by a person who is his next of kin. Because he is an adult, he has to consent to have further treatment. How to bring up the money problem is a tricky one. In my experience, this money may never be paid back.

I am so sorry for all the worry.

Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014

Try everything once and the fun things twice.
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Tumbleweed
True Blue Farmgirl

864 Posts

Nancy
Quitman Texas
USA
864 Posts

Posted - Jul 29 2017 :  8:28:34 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Katie...
Sorry to hear about your situation. I like Marie's idea to invite him to dinner and talk. I will keep you in prayer.

TW

The fun begins where the pavement ends!
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farmgirl68
True Blue Farmgirl

369 Posts

Katie
Bangor Pennsylvania
USA
369 Posts

Posted - Jul 30 2017 :  07:13:36 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
We decided between tolls and gas and a hotel that the expense of maybe not seeing him was too much. I just have to keep trying and keep praying he's alright. My mom said yesterday that he's almost 30 and things we'll change soon; I sure hope so, for her sake if nothing else. She won't be around forever, nor will my father and I want them to know that he's alright.

Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers!

Katie #7422
Friends are the flowers that bloom in life's garden.
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl

13055 Posts


Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts

Posted - Aug 10 2017 :  1:24:02 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Praying for you, Katie. Keep us posted.
Marly

"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross
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farmgirl68
True Blue Farmgirl

369 Posts

Katie
Bangor Pennsylvania
USA
369 Posts

Posted - Aug 11 2017 :  06:16:53 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thank you Marly, the prayers mean a lot! Still no word

Katie #7422
Friends are the flowers that bloom in life's garden.
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl

13055 Posts


Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts

Posted - Aug 12 2017 :  12:37:29 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Still praying for you and your parents, Katie. Hugs to all of you.
Marly

"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl

3077 Posts

Marie
Minneapolis MN
USA
3077 Posts

Posted - Aug 13 2017 :  10:55:55 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Prayers are all well and good. I believe that this lad needs some direct confrontation and has to be made aware of some consequences. It had always helped me to be confronted in that way.

Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014

Try everything once and the fun things twice.
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl

13055 Posts


Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts

Posted - Aug 13 2017 :  2:18:55 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Continued prayers and hugs. Keep us posted.
Marly

"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross
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farmgirl68
True Blue Farmgirl

369 Posts

Katie
Bangor Pennsylvania
USA
369 Posts

Posted - Aug 14 2017 :  11:26:01 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Yeah, I'm to the point of direct confrontation but don't want to and can't make the 6 hour drive to Pittsburgh to do that and, because he never calls, I can't do it over the phone. I'm stuck. I just hope he realizes that his grandparents won't be alive forever and that he will be very sorry if he lets this go. That will be a reality he won't want to live with.

Katie #7422
Friends are the flowers that bloom in life's garden.
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