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Simple Living
True Blue Farmgirl

1229 Posts

Joan
Staten Island NY
USA
1229 Posts

Posted - Jul 01 2018 :  3:53:40 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I know these forums are always upbeat and happy (which I love) But, I can't talk about what's going on in my life yet. I just need to write how I feel so I can let out some of my anger, frustration and disappointment in my life. I know this makes no sense to anyone on here and I'm sorry for not explaining. But I just needed to do this. Thank you for understanding.


A Life Without a Friend, Is a Life Without Sun
Farmgirl #3842

Edited by - Simple Living on Jul 01 2018 3:55:58 PM

YellowRose
True Blue Farmgirl

4672 Posts

Sara
Paris TX
USA
4672 Posts

Posted - Jul 01 2018 :  4:41:39 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Joan there's no need to explain. Among friends you just have to say I'm depressed and hurting for us to be here for you. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015.
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.

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hoosiercountry
True Blue Farmgirl

566 Posts

karla
north port fl
USA
566 Posts

Posted - Jul 01 2018 :  5:47:54 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Joan no explanation needed. Just saying I need a shoulder to lean on for awhile is enough. Sending many hugs and prayers, we are here for you. Karla

FGOM March 2018

I dusted once, it came back. I'm not falling for that again.
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suny58
True Blue Farmgirl

1787 Posts

Dianna
Jack Al.
USA
1787 Posts

Posted - Jul 01 2018 :  6:11:48 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Joan you are not alone!! I'm so sorry for the trials you are experiencing but please know we are here for you....sending up prayers and positive thoughts unconditionally! You are our farmsister! We care!! We love. We support!

Farmgirl #7703
FGOTM January 2018
Dianna
"Blessed are they that see beautiful things in humble places, where other people see nothing." Pissarro
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janamarieje
True Blue Farmgirl

850 Posts

Jana
Southern California
USA
850 Posts

Posted - Jul 01 2018 :  6:23:47 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Joan, I feel your pain and if you were here I would give a big hug and tell you everything will be all right.
Please get outside and take a long walk everyday, enjoy the beautiful sights, sounds, and smells of nature. You need to clear your mind of the negative and find something you can enjoy and build your confidence up. Remember, you are your worst enemy, no one cares about you more then you, so take care of yourself, and stop wasting time on the things you can't control. What is history of done and gone, what is the future is too far away, enjoy the moment and take care of yourself!

Jana

http://www.emhardt.com

https://www.etsy.com/shop/cjhandcraftedstudio

Gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes. ~Author Unknown
All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt! ~Charles Schulz
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suny58
True Blue Farmgirl

1787 Posts

Dianna
Jack Al.
USA
1787 Posts

Posted - Jul 01 2018 :  6:40:38 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Beautifully said Jana...

Farmgirl #7703
FGOTM January 2018
Dianna
"Blessed are they that see beautiful things in humble places, where other people see nothing." Pissarro
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl

3077 Posts

Marie
Minneapolis MN
USA
3077 Posts

Posted - Jul 01 2018 :  9:36:01 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Oh sweetie! I have been where you are right now and I am crying remembering the pain I felt. Please contact me whenever you need to talk to someone who understands. You are not alone. Please do not be alone.

Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014

Try everything once and the fun things twice.
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Simple Living
True Blue Farmgirl

1229 Posts

Joan
Staten Island NY
USA
1229 Posts

Posted - Jul 02 2018 :  06:23:58 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You all are so comforting. Thats why I was able to post that here. I'm trying to have a brighter outlook today. I will be visiting my older sister later. She only lives here part time lol, and lives in Miami, Florida the rest of the year. I know she can straighten me out. God Bless you all.


A Life Without a Friend, Is a Life Without Sun
Farmgirl #3842
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HollerGirl56
True Blue Farmgirl

935 Posts

Barbara
Flat Top WV
USA
935 Posts

Posted - Jul 02 2018 :  07:06:47 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Joan---I have spent many depressing days for sure---My father died when I was five and we moved to live by grandparents and my grandmother was very self centered and difficult. My older sister was very mean and made fun of me all day long. I was shy and this really hurt me and made me ashamed of myself for being alive. My mom remarried and my stepfather was mean and would threaten to kill us quite often. I was a depressed sulky teen for sure. I married out of true love but we have had to struggle with finances for forty years. I am an over worked 61 year old woods and farm woman and I am quite happy these days. Get on the Lexapro and get medicated and motivated. Life is short---get on with it. People can no longer hurt me because I no longer care what anyone thinks or does. Put on your big girl panties even though it is hard and maybe we should form that hillbilly-yankee farmgirl chapter. You go girl. Happiness is just around the corner if we fight for it. my husband is so stressed out from 4th of July retail work and he is so grouchy at the moment. My landline is out and a cell phone doesn"t work here. My email is shut off. My hot water heater is broke and my storm door is smashed. I slid my truck over a hill and totaled it trying to avoid a deer, my little dog got hurt and I am taking care of her---my only friend is aa spoiled mamas boy who makes me help him with his chores and on and on. Life do get tedious---just keep on rollin with the flow as Charlie Rich says.

Old Age Ain't No Place For Sissies!------Bette Davis
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Tumbleweed
True Blue Farmgirl

869 Posts

Nancy
Quitman Texas
USA
869 Posts

Posted - Jul 02 2018 :  3:18:32 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Joan, I wish I could hug you and have a cuppa tea with you right now. No explanation need.

TW

The fun begins where the sidewalk ends. Shel Silverstein
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HollerGirl56
True Blue Farmgirl

935 Posts

Barbara
Flat Top WV
USA
935 Posts

Posted - Jul 02 2018 :  10:44:19 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Joan--- I forgot to tell you that a major source of my depression was that my mom committed suicide in 1997. Was hard and still is. I just hope that you know you have got to help yourself because no one else really can and in my case no one even tried to help me. I have learned you have to take care of yourself. Go for the gold and try to get better.

Old Age Ain't No Place For Sissies!------Bette Davis
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Simple Living
True Blue Farmgirl

1229 Posts

Joan
Staten Island NY
USA
1229 Posts

Posted - Jul 03 2018 :  4:06:29 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I do feel everyones hugs and concerns. I am okay. I've come to the realization that life cannot always be a bowl of cheeries. My biggest fault - I worry way too much about everything. I have been like that since I was young. I worry about my daughters, my grandkids, my future grandbaby that is due in 2 weeks. I worry about life in general. No more watching the evening news on tv ... too depressing. Thank you my farmgirls for caring. A big hug to each of you.


A Life Without a Friend, Is a Life Without Sun
Farmgirl #3842
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Killarney
True Blue Farmgirl

3917 Posts

Connie
Arlington TN
USA
3917 Posts

Posted - Jul 03 2018 :  7:47:23 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Joan, I have been there, One day at a time we will get thru!! Big hug! prayers and my heart is with you!

Love, Connie
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Audra Rose
True Blue Farmgirl

1162 Posts

Vanessa
Brooksville KY
USA
1162 Posts

Posted - Jul 04 2018 :  08:51:40 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hugs for you, and what a blessing to have a new grandchild on the way. Remember, at the end of the storm there's a golden sky and the sweet silver song of the park.

Farmgirl Sister #6754
Doxie Mom - Everyone loves a Weiner!

Today me will live in the moment unless it's unpleasant, in which case me will eat a cookie.
Cookie Monster
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl

3077 Posts

Marie
Minneapolis MN
USA
3077 Posts

Posted - Jul 04 2018 :  09:15:56 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Um . . . sweet silver song of a lark. Walk on through the wind. Walk on through the rain though your fears be tossed and torn. Walk on. Walk on with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone.

Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014

Try everything once and the fun things twice.
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl

6873 Posts

Denise Thompson
NJ
USA
6873 Posts

Posted - Jul 05 2018 :  1:38:22 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Joan, Prayers for you. I gave up watching the news or anything like it, ie; social media news, email news,etc.


~Denise
Sister #43~1/18/2007
FGOTM~7/2013
"Home is where we find comfort, security, memories, friendship, hospitality, and above all, family. It is the place that deserves our commitment and loyalty." William J. Bennett

"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Psalm 119:105

http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
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Simple Living
True Blue Farmgirl

1229 Posts

Joan
Staten Island NY
USA
1229 Posts

Posted - Jul 06 2018 :  3:10:50 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thank you everyone for caring. I have been praying a lot more asking our Lord for help. He always come thru for me.


A Life Without a Friend, Is a Life Without Sun
Farmgirl #3842
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Red Tractor Girl
True Blue Farmgirl

4418 Posts

Winnie
Gainesville Fl
USA
4418 Posts

Posted - Jul 06 2018 :  4:04:52 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Joan, I hope your burdens will be lifted soon. Sending you some extra Farmgirl Hugs today!

Winnie #3109
Red Tractor Girl
Farm Sister of the Year 2014-2015
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl

2914 Posts

Cindy

2914 Posts

Posted - Jul 08 2018 :  5:17:32 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Joan--hugs to you. I have depression as well. I have come to realize that some days, I'm the pigeon, and some days, I'm the statue. Watch a funny movie, laughter is the best medicine
Cindy

Medicated AND Motivated!

Exercise? I thought you said accessorize.

Live like someone left the gate open.


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Eliz~
Farmgirl in Training

47 Posts

Elizabeth
Saint Cloud MN
USA
47 Posts

Posted - Sep 03 2018 :  11:41:55 AM  Show Profile  Send Eliz~ a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
Hello! Joan, I'm new here. But I just wanted to drop by and say you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you are feeling better.

Joyfully, Eliz~
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AuntJamelle
True Blue Farmgirl

556 Posts

Jaime
South Bend Indiana
USA
556 Posts

Posted - Sep 04 2018 :  09:46:40 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Just wanted to say I'm hoping you are doing okay, Joan! Life can really be LIFE sometimes!!! :(

((hugs)) Feel free to vent any time!!!
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AnnieinIdaho
True Blue Farmgirl

437 Posts

Annie
ID
USA
437 Posts

Posted - Sep 04 2018 :  11:27:17 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


Yes, it can be a challenge to walk on our journey in life sometimes. Many things are out of our control. I have had my serious disappointments, downright horrible betrayals, and other events that I would not mention so as it won't imprint into your brains. I opened the Pandora's box under the care of psychotherapy from terrible family dysfunction. And a true knight his care was. Really in only 20 hours spaced a month apart and doing the work I was able to be re-parented. I was able to let what had been hidden come to the surface to be acknowledged and purged. The thing that helped me the most was to "find my faith" which can be different than having a religious faith (although that is great too). But what I mean is to have a realization that we can never see around the corner so we must walk our path in the present, while being aware of what may lie ahead. We need to keep from tripping over things in our pathway, so some deviations are necessary. But to just know that we are capable of making good and sound decisions based on the information we have at the time. Sometimes factors out of our control surprise us and throw us a curve ball. We can choose whether to let it in our life or out. I had to learn to recognize signs of the enemy camp. I had to learn to recognize if people had my best interest at heart or a hidden self-serving agenda. I had to learn to recognize evil cloaked under a veil of disguises. Now I can spot red flags a mile off. Only goodness is allowed in. I rebuke dysfunction and make no apologies for doing so. This is strong boundary setting, but brings hope, gladness, purpose and self-sufficiency back into one's journey. We were meant to enjoy life in the world we are born into, so no one gets to interfere with that. It is our inherent right to "not only survive but to thrive." Now, once folks realize you are on to their manipulations they leave and one is more alone. So you have to learn how to not be lonely. I love the line in the movie Sleeping with the Enemy where her mom says, "You have yourself". We learn to trust ones self. We believe in our own goodness and abilities to keep us safe. We believe our soul has the right to flourish. I do believe that in order to sustain a level of joy, our basic needs must be met: Maslow's Need Hierarchy of food, shelter and safety are the lower tiers we must achieve before we can self-actualize into higher achievements. I know you can find the song in your heart again. Sometimes it means severing ties, refreshing our living environment, sometimes even seclusion to get away from dysfunction. But "finding one's faith" and staying present do help. Then from this platform of being we can choose when and with who we want to extend our care. May the Lord bless and keep you, may his face shine upon you, and give you peace. To all my sisters, Be well and fight for your joy! Annie

"The turnings of life seldom show a sign-post; or rather, though the sign is always there, it is usually placed some distance back, like the notices that give warning of a bad hill or a level railway-crossing." Edith Wharton, 1913 from 'The Custom of the Country'.
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AuntJamelle
True Blue Farmgirl

556 Posts

Jaime
South Bend Indiana
USA
556 Posts

Posted - Sep 05 2018 :  08:20:01 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Beautifully put, Annie! ((hugs)) to you too!!! You've got me tearing up here - but in a good way!
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Beverley
True Blue Farmgirl

2706 Posts

Beverley
atlanta Michigan
USA
2706 Posts

Posted - Sep 26 2018 :  2:17:25 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
yes Annie that was wonderful. XXOOXXXOOO to all of you. But especially to Joan. You will come out on the other side and it will be better. Be there and it does get better and faith does help so much. God is the wonderful Healer.

Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett
Beverley with an extra E...
https://sites.google.com/site/bevsdoggies/
http://bevsdoggies.blogspot.com/
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sherone_13
True Blue Farmgirl

2273 Posts

Sherone
Evanston WY
USA
2273 Posts

Posted - Sep 27 2018 :  07:31:12 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


Sorry to hear you aren't feeling so good right now. Been there, done that with the depression. Here is a cow to help you feel better.

Sherone

Farmgirl Sister #93
My Blog

www.annapearlshomestead.wordpress.com

The Gourmet Cupboard

http://www.thegourmetcupboard.com/sites/sheronetaylor8622

Avon

www.youravon.com/sheronetaylor

Women are angels. When someone breaks our wings, we just jump on our broomsticks and fly! We are flexible that way!
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