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Family Matters:  Going To Work  |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 28 2005 : 5:20:49 PM
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Well Ladies -- I got a job today!! In 2002 I got laid off due to business being bad, then went to work in my daughter's store. Since that closed in April 2004 I've been a full-time mom again.
I've been actively searching for the last few weeks. I went a personnel agency yesterday and they called me today to start tomorrow! I'll be an admin assistant at a home healthcare and hospice. It is temporary while someone is on maternity leave for 12 weeks but at least it is something to get my foot back in the door.
I really do want to work but right now am just feeling so torn inside. My youngest daughter, Stephanie, has been at outdoor school this week. She left on Monday and has been gone for 3 days so far. I was supposed to pick her up on Friday at 2:30 and now I can't. I know it's just a little thing but my "Mom Heart" wants to be there and I'm having a hard time switching over to the mindset of a working mom again. Missy will be there to get Steph so that's not a worry.
Stephanie is 11 1/2 and I know that it will be ok if I work. I need to do this for our family. But this mom is just having a hard time tearing herself away from the nest!
I'm still hot...it just comes in flashes. |
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Clare
True Blue Farmgirl
2173 Posts
NC WA State
USA
2173 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2005 : 7:11:26 PM
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Dear Kay, I know those torn feelings and they do give one pause. Life is all about balance, isn't it? Hopefully your youngest daughter will realize that there will be other benefits available now and that forfeiting some after school time may be the price. I know it's a hard thing to justify, but reality hits us hard sometimes in this day and age, doesn't it? Just listen to your intuition, and you'll know if something needs adjustment. Even though you're torn, congratulations!
May the sun bring you new energy by day, may the moon softly restore you by night, may the rain wash away your worries, may the breeze blow new strength into your being, may you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life. ~~Apache Blessing
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Sep 29 2005 : 08:25:59 AM
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Hi Kay, It is NEVER easy when we have to make a decision like that. I do agree with Clare, it is all about balance. My daughter is 14 1/2 now and I still work evenings (5 to 11 or 12 pm) almost every night. My husband works days. We always wanted one of us to be here with her at all times. It makes marriage and time for each other a bit harder, but it works. I always told my daughter she had dad time, mom time and we all had together time. Plus if the household needs it, they have to understand. Shes getting older and will want more things, she'll understand, just be honest and keep the lines open. Kids are alot more resilent then we sometimes think. Your doing it for your family, so it isn't wrong. Hang in there, it will be ok. Michele
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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blueroses
True Blue Farmgirl
1323 Posts
Debbie
in the Pandhandle of
Idaho
USA
1323 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2005 : 10:49:17 AM
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Kay,
All I ever wanted to be was a stay at home mom. But it wasn't to be. I ended up being a single mom who worked two jobs (one was at dance school to pay for lessons). It is so hard to feel torn and guilty. Your children know what a good Mom you are and sometimes you may end up having time conflicts. You may want to make sure you have discussions with them so you can all air your feelings. You'll find that they are actually very proud of you for what you are doing. It's so hard to be a Mom, isn't it? But the rewards ....... are what it's all about.
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
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bramble
True Blue Farmgirl
2044 Posts
2044 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2005 : 3:10:52 PM
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Don't be discouraged , think of it as a positive experience that your daughter is seeing you as an independent, self sufficient role model. That is a very important image to give a girl. We can take care of ourselves and if we chose to share our lives it isn't for economic reasons like it was in past generations for alot of women. Our household always believed that one of us should be the at home parent and when my husband lost his job unexpectedly he was at home while job hunting with our son for about 6 mths. It was an interesting time because I was doing freelance design work from home and we were charting new waters.Eventually we went back to me at home and dh working full time. Not long ago my son made a comment that even though I am teaching part time this year, he is proud of me because he knows I help alot of kids learn to love books and reading. I was floored! Here I had been feeling guilty for being home some days later than him (he goes home with a friend on those days) and he was thinking I was doing something he was proud of . KIDS! Go figure! I bet your daughter will be proud of you too!
with a happy heart |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2005 : 9:47:48 PM
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Steph got home from Outdoor School today. I called her about 3 to say hello. The first words out of her mouth were "Mama, I'm so proud of you for getting a job." It made my day!! Thanks to all of you for the words of encouragement -- it has really helped.
I'm still hot...it just comes in flashes. |
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ThymeForEweFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
705 Posts
Robin
An organic farm in the forest in
Maine
USA
705 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2005 : 03:48:38 AM
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So how do you like it? What did you do?? I'm glad it worked out so well!
Robin
www.thymeforewe.com |
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bramble
True Blue Farmgirl
2044 Posts
2044 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2005 : 05:02:08 AM
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Chalk another one up for great kids and their amazing Moms! Kay , wishing all the best with your new "endeavor"!
with a happy heart |
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Park Avenue
True Blue Farmgirl
57 Posts
Michele
Paradise Valley
Alberta
Canada
57 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2005 : 06:12:27 AM
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I am going through that dilema myself. I know i should go back to work, but I am torn because I love being home. My kids are 17 and 15. and financially it is time, and there are no more excuses, and I feel guilt at not working, yet, feel i don't want to go to work.
help me.....( LOL)
Michele
Michele |
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ThymeForEweFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
705 Posts
Robin
An organic farm in the forest in
Maine
USA
705 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2005 : 07:17:07 AM
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What can you cut back on, Michele? Things like cable tv and eating out? What can you do yourself? How about after school babysitting? Can you trade down on a less expensive care to lower the payment? I have no idea of your situation so I'm grasping at straws here.
When our oldest was six we were trying to figure out whether we could afford for me to leave my well-paying job to move out here. By the time I took out gas to get to work, additional clothing, Friday nights out to eat because we were both too tired to cook, day care and me eating lunch out with the other girls once or twice a week, we realized I'd been putting Kristin in day care to earn $50 a week. I was devestated and cried for three days. Can you find something part time so that you avoid child care costs? I really did not want to go back to work but our bills weren't being paid. It's more expensive to buy groceries, gas, heating oil and such, and further to go to get things out here compared to where we lived in the city. It wasn't a matter of things we wanted, we really needed the money.
How about working at the school, at least until the youngest is a little older? That's what worked for us when I did go back to work after moving here. That worked until we were surprised with the news that the second baby we'd been told we'd never have was indeed coming. After she was born I started the first business. Working at Kristin's school got us through some tough budgeting times. If you don't have extras you don't really need, working school hours while you're daughter's still so little is a good alternative.
Robin
www.thymeforewe.com |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2005 : 08:09:35 AM
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The job I have is a temporary one for about 12 weeks. I'm working at a home healthcare and hospice agency. I have to tell you that I can't believe how nice everyone is there. They have all been very welcoming and kind. Usually it takes a while to get that feeling when you start a new job. And if you're a temp it takes even longer. I really hope that something would open up there permanently when this job ends.
The work is going great but it's very challenging. I have to enter orders in the computer for home health care and everything has to be exact and correct. Lots of different computer screens to go to to enter info, etc. I also answer the phone and do other miscellaneous things. But I've taken lots of notes and it will get easier.
I'm looking forward to getting my first paycheck next Friday!! YEAH!
I'm still hot...it just comes in flashes. |
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lonestargal
True Blue Farmgirl
607 Posts
Kristi
Texas
607 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2005 : 1:33:27 PM
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| I have the same problem. I probably should go back to work but I don't want to. My kids are still small though 8 and 4. I was working up until 1 1/2 ago. My parents were watching my youngest and my oldest was in school so I didn't have to pay for daycare but I HATED the idea of leaving my kids. My schedule would always change so sometimes I was working nights some days and it was hard. My husband is on-call 24 hrs/day 7 days a week so I joke and tell people I'm a married single mom because I can't rely on him all the time. I am still in the mind set that I will give up things I need to be with my kids. We have NO money and live on $300-500 for 2 weeks and it's hard, especially with Christmas coming up. My husband gets paid well but we just have so many bills, luckily they will all be paid off by December 2006 and that will give us $1200.00 extra every month. My kids beg me not to go to work, that they like me home. I know I will have to eventually work though. Congrats on your new job Kay and I hope everything works out for you!!! |
Edited by - lonestargal on Oct 01 2005 1:34:10 PM |
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Park Avenue
True Blue Farmgirl
57 Posts
Michele
Paradise Valley
Alberta
Canada
57 Posts |
Posted - Oct 02 2005 : 06:11:56 AM
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I guess my situation is a bit different. After reading some of the posts here, I realise that i am in a pretty good situation, as my kids are almost grown, and we really don't have alot of bills. After much thinking I realise its not that I don't want to go to work, its just that I really want to have work my way, work with meaning.
My husband is self employed, and we are heading into the slow time so it always gets abit tighter.( and he starts to panic) He is expanding though into more renovations and I think i will be the helper. I am pretty handy, and that way we won't need to pay extra help.
I also do p/t housecleaning.
We have a small mortgage,(compared to most) we have a truck loan, and some credit card debt, but my car, a 2000, is paid for.
My daughter works, and supplies most of her own needs, and my son who is 15, really doesn't need much.
I guess where I feel that should be working, comes more from a guilty feeling that I should be doing more...LOL although as we all know the life of a stay home mom, and wife is hardly a day of eating bonne-bonnes.
Especially now, as Deans work slows down. I guess thats when i realise i should be working maybe at a regular job, with a paycheque every 2 weeks. Although I do like my cleaning business, and I love being self employed, it can also be scarey, as you depend on yourself for that cheque.
When you factor in gas, clothes, and what i spend to go to work...including more fast food, pizza etc. It hardly seems worth it. Especially at the end of the year, when we can claim all those things as deductions from being self employed ( here in Canada),
So I guess my original post, was one of those days, when i thought I should really find a regular job. But the reality is, is that i would be miserable, and it really would not put us that further ahead...other than the fact that the money would be regular.
Michele |
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lonestargal
True Blue Farmgirl
607 Posts
Kristi
Texas
607 Posts |
Posted - Oct 02 2005 : 09:41:02 AM
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| I feel the same Park Avenue about being happy with a job. I could go to work right now if I REALLY wanted to and it's not that I mind working because good grief there is enough to be done around here but I would not be happy working out of my home. That's another reason why I quit in the 1st place. Missing my kids was #1 but I would just come home really unhappy and stressed and take it out on my family, which is not good. DH and talked about it and he wants me home with the kids anyways. So for now we just scrimp and save what we can and get by on bare necessities, I'm a simple girl anyways and trying to raise my girls the same way. |
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Park Avenue
True Blue Farmgirl
57 Posts
Michele
Paradise Valley
Alberta
Canada
57 Posts |
Posted - Oct 02 2005 : 09:47:23 AM
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Yeah Kristi, sometimes having a happy mom means more to the family than the few extra $$.
Plus even though my kids are old enough to be on their own, it doesn't really mean thats a good thing. There are so many things that kids can get into at 15 and 17.
We have a comfortable home, and all the nessesities. And it always seems that everything works out. We have food on the table, and clothes, and I'm sure my kids are not the only ones in the world who have never seen Disneyland!
Michele |
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Family Matters: Going To Work |
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Going To Work
