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Family Matters:  Stress  |
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ThymeForEweFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
705 Posts
Robin
An organic farm in the forest in
Maine
USA
705 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 19 2005 : 4:59:41 PM
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 I'm stressed and need to take a break for 15 minutes. I need a collective shoulder from women who understand.
This has been a rough week. I had a big test in my online class today, have a big speech in another class tomorrow, and going to a third class tomorrow morning, which I'm not doing well in, without even having looked at my homework. I've never done that before. I'm always prepared for class. There's a big test in that class on Tuesday. I'll have Monday to get all my homework finished and study for the class. I won't be able to see my tutor before the test after our tomorrow morning session.
Tomorrow is my busiest day of the week. I leave at 7:30 a.m. and get home at the end of the day a little after 9 p.m. I do get home for a couple of hours in between. I can spend 90 of those minutes with my 12 year old daughter between when she gets home from school and I leave for class. I'm not prepared for tomorrow night's class yet (a speech I could give in my sleep because I know this topic inside and out, but I have to list references and write speaker notes and an outline in proper form) but I will be before I go to bed - or I'll get up early to finish it.
I'm leaving very early Friday morning to go to Vermont. I can't wait. I'm going to the Women In Sustainable Agriculture conference. I'll be gone three full days. Sounds great but I'm missing my daughter's first dance. I won't be here to get her up in the morning for school. I'll call her from the road. I won't be here when she gets home. My husband will take her and her best friend to the dance early so that they can decorate and he'll stay to chaperone since I'm not. I live my life around my family by choice. I work my job and college schedule around them. I seldom ever miss something my daughter does. I quit my job a couple of weeks before she was born to be home with her. I started the business when she was five months old so that I could stay home. I didn't have time today to bake something for dance refreshments so I'm buying something. I don't buy sweets normally. I haven't since we lived in the city 15+ years ago. I just didn't have time.
Now, I'm doing something just because I want to, just for me, and I feel guilty. I feel like a jerk. My husband's in a training program all week. He'll have to do my chores Friday morning and evening, get supper, and take care of dance things. I will be relaxing in Vermont with old and new friends.
I know it's perfectly fine for me to go. I need a break. My husband keeps telling me it's all fine and good but it sure doesn't feel like it right now. Back to work - I still have to finish the outline for my speech and do all of the speaker notes. I need to sort some laundry that I'll do first thing in the morning before I go to class. Tomorrow will fall into place - it always does.
Thanks for listening.
Robin
www.thymeforewe.com |
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quiltedess
True Blue Farmgirl
296 Posts
Nancy
Priest River
ID
USA
296 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2005 : 5:52:26 PM
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Robin: Think about this . . . your daughter NEEDS her dad to do the dance thing with her, it will be good memories for them both. My daughter is very much a mommy's girl (she's 23 now), but she cherishes the few memories when her dad stepped in when I couldn't be there. Those memories stand out far more than ALL the times that I was there for her. This trip is actually important for you all to have balance in your lives. Please don't feel guilty for having a good time . . . you'd BETTER!!
Nancy |
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showmemom
True Blue Farmgirl
166 Posts
karen
carthage
mo
USA
166 Posts |
Posted - Oct 20 2005 : 05:12:32 AM
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hey robin-
right there with you, babe. this school thing is tough when you have a family BUT you can do it. this is your chance to take a big breath and rest a bit before finals so take it-and enjoy it-and send some of it my way!!
i know i have some control issues when it comes to my kids but they're my husband's kids too and its so good for them to do things together-especially our girls. this is good for all of you-try to let go of the "could of's, should of's, would of's" that we all struggle with and just be for a few days.
praying your speech went well and you're able to leave your nest with peace in your heart. have a great time and REST!!!
talk to you soon. karen
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
Victor Hugo |
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Clare
True Blue Farmgirl
2173 Posts
NC WA State
USA
2173 Posts |
Posted - Oct 20 2005 : 06:43:06 AM
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Sending you light and love and hugs Robin, for you to know that life WILL balance out as it should. I agree, time for your daughter and her dad to bond a little more.... plus, you are sending a powerful subliminal message to your daughter that moms' must take care of themselves too. This is very important. Have a wonderful weekend and please share your experiences when you return! 
May the sun bring you new energy by day, may the moon softly restore you by night, may the rain wash away your worries, may the breeze blow new strength into your being, may you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life. ~~Apache Blessing
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Eileen
True Blue Farmgirl
1199 Posts
Eileen
USA
1199 Posts |
Posted - Oct 20 2005 : 3:13:39 PM
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Robin , Sending strength and determination to you with the angels who protect you. This is a great adventure and a time to grow. It will be wonderful.
Eileen
Songbird; singing joy to the earth |
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ThymeForEweFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
705 Posts
Robin
An organic farm in the forest in
Maine
USA
705 Posts |
Posted - Oct 20 2005 : 6:40:47 PM
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Thank you for the thoughts and prayers and energy. I made it through the day. The morning was as rough as the beginning of the week but it started getting better this afternoon. I even caught a break tonight in class and didn't have to speak. I'll do it next week and will be much better prepared.
DH and DD are close. They have Thursday night supper together every week because I have an evening class. They usually do something together part of the weekend and we're together as a family every morning and evening. He works his schedule around her games and activities when he can.
My hotel room has filled with interesting roommates and I got a call tonight to pick up a rider for about half of the drive. I'm packed and ready to go!
Lori, I loved "old and droolie." It was a much needed outloud laugh!
Thanks again everyone!
Robin
www.thymeforewe.com |
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westfork woman
True Blue Farmgirl
554 Posts
Kennie Lyn
Emmett
Idaho
USA
554 Posts |
Posted - Oct 21 2005 : 11:05:34 AM
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Have fun Robin, come back refreshed and renewed and report to us about the seminar. You know what they say, a change is as good as a switch.
Greetings from the morning side of the hill. |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Oct 21 2005 : 6:06:03 PM
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Robin, go and have fun. It will be ok. You need a break also. Michele
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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ByHzGrace
True Blue Farmgirl
348 Posts
348 Posts |
Posted - Oct 22 2005 : 08:00:53 AM
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Robin
I missed your send off, my prayers ascend for traveling mercies, and we can't wait to hear all you have learned! |
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dg7954
True Blue Farmgirl
129 Posts
Diane
Doylestown
pa
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Oct 22 2005 : 12:24:13 PM
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Robin, I too missed your send off and, of course, send you energy and clarity for balance. Speaking of balance, from someone who has a busy life that is also about to get busier, when you focus on a large, complicated new goal, you MUST lighten the load around it as much as possible. It is insanity, ans well as an impossibility, to believe that you can add on a major project to your already busy life and think you can give everything your equal energy and efficiency. It is actually (if you think about it) almost irresponsible to do anything like that. Firstly, everything will suffer and nothing will be done as well as it could have been. What is the point of taking on a new challenge if you only expect to do it with limited energy and focus (in other words, half-assed). You owe it to yourself to eliminate what can be eliminated to be able to give your new effort what it deserves. That should take the guilt factor down a notch. You can't be there in full force everywhere you want to be. That is also a good message for your daughter. Right now you need to put the most energy in the new direction of your life, and eliminate in any way other things that others can do instead of you. It is temporary. You sound so fragmented that you are torn between all these different roles that you are playing, and you are not enjoying any of them, and not performing any of them at the standard that you wish. Let some of them go. Let yourself be as free as you can, and give yourself plenty of opportunity to refuel (instead of filling this time in with other duties). Show yourself and your family that you know how to do your new project well and take care of yourself at the same time. A great role model for anyone.
PS-Hope the trip is great. |
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ThymeForEweFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
705 Posts
Robin
An organic farm in the forest in
Maine
USA
705 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2005 : 7:30:31 PM
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I'm home. The conference was great. There were 408 women from 35 states and Canada. The opening and closing keynote speakers were inspiring. One of them was the most inspiring speaker I've ever heard. I need to catch up on some sleep and then will write about the weekend. In a nutshell - fixing the damage conventional agriculture has caused, repairing the deplorable way people eat and other aspects of life involved with agriculture need to be tended to by strong women. We have a good start!
Robin
www.thymeforewe.com |
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bramble
True Blue Farmgirl
2044 Posts
2044 Posts |
Posted - Oct 24 2005 : 08:12:22 AM
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Yeah Robin! Glad to hear the weekend was all you hoped it could be. Rest, take care of yourself and I'll wait for the update! (I didn't go anywhere away until my son was 8 yrs. old, I was feeling your pain and struggle. Glad you went and I bet so are you!)
with a happy heart |
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ThymeForEweFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
705 Posts
Robin
An organic farm in the forest in
Maine
USA
705 Posts |
Posted - Oct 25 2005 : 03:39:03 AM
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Diane, I took what you said to heart. Thank you for taking the time to "talk" with me. I also spent some time talking with a farmer Sunday morning about how she manages everything. I've been on her farm and seen what she does. She reminded me of my two goals - my farm business and Farm & Garden. I made a big change yesterday. I decided to drop the class that causes me the most stress and consumes about 20 hours of week between travel, class and homework time. I'll start the paperwork process today. I made some decisions about college. I feel like a million pounds off my shoulders.
It's raining today (flash flood warning out for part of the state) so I'm inside to work today. I have a list. Cleaning and cooking are the focus of my day. Friday and Saturday weather will be nice so I'll be out closing up the garden, building more compost piles and getting the farm ready for winter.
Robin
www.thymeforewe.com |
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Fabulous Farm Femmes
True Blue Farmgirl
792 Posts
Diane
Lakebay, Tacoma
WA
792 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2005 : 08:03:43 AM
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Lori, I so feel your pain. I think we have the same neighbor, even! We have an easement road between us, and during the spring luckily the scotch broom and blackberrie vines grow up between us and block out our view of their trashy yard & goings on...but then the neighbors at the end of the easement get riled about their cars going thru this brush and they get a tractor and mow it all down and then leave just dirt so we have mud all winter long..then they have the nerve to try and get us to help pay for new gravel on top of it. A fence would be an ideal solution for me too.......an 18 foot high one with points on the top, Fort Style!
Keep an eye on their yard and if you see ANY rodents around, call the County Health Dept.that is one thing you can do.
And know another Farm Girl knows how you feel...and sends hugs!
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Fabulous Farm Femmes
True Blue Farmgirl
792 Posts
Diane
Lakebay, Tacoma
WA
792 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2005 : 08:09:26 AM
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| And Robin, glad that you felt ease in your decision...sometimes it is better to yell "uncle" than drive yourself over the edge...sounds as if you have done that, and kudos to you for it.Three classes is a lot for anyone, let alone someone with a farm and a family for goodness sakes! I know my daughter would agree, she gets overwhelmed with full time and she is only 22 and unmarried!Happy hugs for you too! |
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Fabulous Farm Femmes
True Blue Farmgirl
792 Posts
Diane
Lakebay, Tacoma
WA
792 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2005 : 08:32:41 AM
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Well Phooey, Lori j, that's one trick we use up here in the North to get neighbors to clean up their yards.....I see my Diabiloical mind (thanks Patricia) isn't on Louisiana time yet....I am sorry you lost your trees. That makes me so mad when other people trim YOUR yard...had a neighbor like that once who was a family member...one day he weedwacked down the little tree my daughter had been growing since kindergarten..she gave him hell too and he learned his lesson that time.
It's not selfish to want nature around you in your own yard for goodness sakes! |
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Family Matters: Stress |
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Stress
