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Family Matters:  prickly wedding  |
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showmemom
True Blue Farmgirl
166 Posts
karen
carthage
mo
USA
166 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 23 2005 : 1:18:16 PM
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hello friends-
this is wedding week for my "prickly" daughter that i wrote about awhle ago. things are fairly wild-lots of details at the end but i keep reminding myself that i am not in charge nor am i at fault if things aren't perfect. our relationship continues to be somewhat difficult but am trying to walk in much grace and forgiveness, realizing that i am only responsible for myself. (can you tell i have to give myself this talk over and over??? ha!!)
please keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers. the wedding is the 29th @4:00 pm followed by a family dinner, then a reception at a different location for about 300 people! lots of opportunities to be a grownup-please pray.
for all my button friends, charm square sisters and trading partners-i have not forgotten any of you but am CONSUMED right now-will hopefully get back on track after saturday.
talk to you soon.
karen-aka the mother of the bride!
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
Victor Hugo |
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phillytoo
Farmgirl in Training
18 Posts
Phyllis
Canton
MI
USA
18 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2005 : 2:38:42 PM
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Speaking of weddings, my middle son is getting married on Dec. 10th. The colors of the bridesmaids are a dark blue, like navy or midnight blue. I found a long black shift with a black jacket that has blue glittery designs all over it. Do you think it would be okay for me to wear this to the wedding? I am hoping it would have no negative connotations, being black. What do you think?
Phyllis |
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sleepless reader
True Blue Farmgirl
1022 Posts
CA
USA
1022 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2005 : 3:12:02 PM
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Karen, good luck and good thoughts! Phyllis, at every wedding I attended this summer/fall (there have been 3 so far) the majority of women have dressed in black. I do not think the color any longer holds the negative connotations for weddings, just as many people seem to wear any color to funerals these days. Personally, I always try to put comfort first. Enjoy the weddings ladies!
Sharon
Life is messy. Wear your apron! |
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katie-ell
True Blue Farmgirl
1818 Posts
Katie
Illinois
1818 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2005 : 3:35:38 PM
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Phyllis -- That dress sounds perfect! Maybe you could show it to your new daughter-in-law if you have any question in your mind. Black is certainly not taboo for weddings anymore -- my niece had a black-and-white wedding, she in white carrying white roses, bridesmaids in black carrying red roses. Stunning!
Karen, you sound like you're doing very well with the pre-wedding stresses. On the day, enjoy!! Be a gracious and happy motb. |
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thehouseminder
True Blue Farmgirl
361 Posts
USA
361 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2005 : 6:25:15 PM
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Karen you are in my thoughts and prayers. Nearly every girl I know has turned into BRIDEZILLA during various parts of wedding planning. I'm sending you good thoughts and lots of strength. Hang in there girl.
As far as the color question: the only color inappropriate for a wedding guest is White. The bride gets to wear White everyone else gets to wear something else. Pretty Simple.
Lucinda
When we were young, there were moments of such perfectly crystallized happiness that we stood stock still and silently promised ourselves that we would remember them always. And we did. --Holly J. Burkhalter , "Four Midwestern Sisters' Christmas Book"
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lareyna
True Blue Farmgirl
242 Posts
Arlene
Valley Ford
Ca
USA
242 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2005 : 9:32:07 PM
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| In March , my sweet baby son (21) married BRIDEZILLA she decided she doesn't like us, (after being at our house 5 times in 5 years.) we have done EVERYTHING we could for these kids, we have bought them the things they needed including groceries, vacuum cleaner, heater, etc. paid for half their wedding, you name it, she was HORRIBLE to us throughout the wedding planning, gave plenty of dirty looks during the wedding, didn't invite us to the rehearsal dinner, never shared the pictures , anyway it's hard to explain but the part that hurt was that our son, ALLOWED all of this bad stuff to happen. Nobody understood, family members were calling us to ask what the HECK? we have no answer. Still just hurt and waiting for the ax to fall. I don't have alot of hope for this union because he was raised differently and i think he will wake up one day and also wonder "what the heck?" Right now she has quit her job and they have NO money while she sits home and he works his butt off for $18.00 an hour. When they got married she was working and has a car payment of 500 a month. this parenting thing does NOT get easier when they grow up no matter what people think. Maybe keywords are "grow-up" and they haven't. |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Oct 24 2005 : 08:21:19 AM
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Karen -- I will be praying for you all week and keeping you in my thoughts.
Phyllis -- I think your dress sounds lovely. Perfect for a winter wedding.
GO WHITE SOX!!!!
http://rusticcottage.blogspot.com/ |
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lareyna
True Blue Farmgirl
242 Posts
Arlene
Valley Ford
Ca
USA
242 Posts |
Posted - Oct 24 2005 : 08:26:44 AM
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I know it's right Lorij but it's hard, she actually conceded to have dinner at our house last weekend, first time, usually refuses, she was pleasant but quiet. We sent them home with 2-300 dollars worth of groceries, I can't stand the thought of anyone hungry. Son was very appreciative she just said "cool" but won't eat anything "homemade" (like canned)oh and doesn't eat squash or beets made that clear. I'll give the son this he piped up and said "well I will!!" We're butchering beef today she did say she'll be happy to have some steak. I don't know this is hard. Want to stay close to him just hope they wait awhile to have a baby.
The worst was father's Day he called and asked my husband to go fishing, DH of course asked me knowing I had taken the day off to be with him, but they are his sons so I said "GO" he got there and they had their wives and the other sons kids with the boat and were skiing and boating, and I wasn't invited. I swear I have NEVER done anything to this girl. My hubby was very upset.
http://bumpercrop.blogspot.com/
I was Country before Country was COOL |
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Clare
True Blue Farmgirl
2173 Posts
NC WA State
USA
2173 Posts |
Posted - Oct 24 2005 : 09:04:59 AM
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Arlene, how about an upfront heart-to-heart- talk with DIL? Tell her that you want to have a good relationship with open communication... that you're not wanting to replace anyone, but to be a friend? Sometimes this younger generation is so clueless about how to establish relationships with anyone who isn't of their generation that they send out these back off vibes... when in actuality they may not even know what they are doing/causing to happen. Of course, don't tell her this, but at least make an attempt to close this gap, then your conscience will be clear... and the cards will fall where they may. I know it's hard to endure.
May the sun bring you new energy by day, may the moon softly restore you by night, may the rain wash away your worries, may the breeze blow new strength into your being, may you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life. ~~Apache Blessing
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phillytoo
Farmgirl in Training
18 Posts
Phyllis
Canton
MI
USA
18 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2005 : 6:58:53 PM
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Ladies, thank you for all your reassurances that my black dress will be fine to wear at my son's wedding.
Now I just need to go out and buy a long leg panty girdle to help hide all the cellulite on my thighs.
It's a clingy knit, so it shows lots of lumps and bumps. 
Phyllis |
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Julia
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Julia
Shelton
WA
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2005 : 11:23:49 AM
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Karen, Sometimes we just have to "get through it". I will pray that what is a difficult situation, will somehow show some ease and lightness of heart for you. Hod your head high and hang in there!
"...the setting sun is like going into the very presence of God." Elizabeth Von Arnim |
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kydeere40744
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
Jessica
Kentucky
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2005 : 10:28:52 PM
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Phyllis,
I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers and that the wedding will be beautiful and that the marriage will be a lifetime of happiness. With all of the wedding planning, sometimes it can indeed get a little stressful. I do encourage maybe have a little lunch outing or something with just you and the DIL. Sometimes it helps to get reconnected or be first connected to one another. Offering to help out with a particular assignment of the wedding or seeing what they would like for a wedding present is a good conversation getter.
I hope this helps. Much luck and happiness during this time!
Jessica~Miss Wilma's Niece
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greyghost
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
Lynn
Summerville
Georgia
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Nov 03 2005 : 08:48:11 AM
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Arlene, that is awful!
I was alaways worried I would have a bad mother in law, but I love my MIL. I wish she would take better care of herself but she is a sweet person. Hugs and best wishes for you - strength to get through this! |
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lareyna
True Blue Farmgirl
242 Posts
Arlene
Valley Ford
Ca
USA
242 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2005 : 12:28:51 PM
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I just keep telling myself to chill, talking to her does no good, I finally figured out she is just VERY immature. On Halloween, she went Trick-or-treating yes I am not kidding, 21 years old and knew the specific area she wanted to frequent because they have the very BEST candy. Don't adults BUY candy????
http://bumpercrop.blogspot.com/
I was Country before Country was COOL |
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greyghost
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
Lynn
Summerville
Georgia
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2005 : 05:28:04 AM
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| At 21 I got gussied up so I could SCARE the kids going trick-or-treating. If they got past me, they got the candy my roomies were handing out. lol. |
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Family Matters: prickly wedding |
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prickly wedding
