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 Move to country pregnant?
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Author Family Matters: Previous Topic Move to country pregnant? Next Topic  

Juliekay
True Blue Farmgirl

237 Posts



237 Posts

Posted - Nov 30 2005 :  05:15:04 AM  Show Profile
Hello everyone,

I haven't posted a lot to this website recently, but I need advice from women who walk the walk, not just talk the talk. I hope to hear some good advice.

I have never lived in the country, but it has been a dream of mine and hubby's for a couple of years now. We are 37 (me) and 36, and I am pregnant with my first child. We are now in a position to move to the country if we want to. Here is my worry:

Husband still travels for work, leaving Monday morning and not getting back until Thursday night. He plans to do this for 5 more years. So I will be alone with a newborn out on a farm, not being used to farm life. I am scared about being a first time mother so late, and about not being able to handle the solitude. My husband says maybe we should look for a big lot in a small town to have a garden, but I don't want to feel like I am forcing him to give up on a dream.

Any opinions or advice?

Thanks

Julie

katie-ell
True Blue Farmgirl

1818 Posts

Katie
Illinois
1818 Posts

Posted - Nov 30 2005 :  3:29:56 PM  Show Profile
Is there a compromise here? Maybe get the big lot in a small town for a couple/three years and then move farther out in the country? It's no small thing to be alone with a newborn way out of town. If the real estate market is as hot where you are as it is here, you'd also be able to turn a tidy profit when you resell. Oh, and happy baby! Enjoy!!
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Eileen
True Blue Farmgirl

1199 Posts

Eileen

USA
1199 Posts

Posted - Nov 30 2005 :  4:38:19 PM  Show Profile
Hi Julie Kay,
Well first of all, CONGRATULATIONS ON THE PREGNANCY!!! When are you due to deliver? I am sending you my blessings that you be surrounded by good health and lots of family and friends through this wonder of wonders, "The first blush of Motherhood".
Moving to the farm now without the husband at home would be a very difficult thing to do. Farming is not exactly an easy life but well worth it over-all however if you have never been one and have never even lived a rural life then I would say best to go for the compromise while you are still learning the fine art of motherhood.
I do not think you would be giving up on your husbands dream to do this for now until he is there to assist you in the process of learning the farming life. Since he suggested it I would take him up on it! Nobody ever ate an elephant in one sitting, so take it one step at a time and learn the art of farming on a small scale first. Maybe you could find a nice place with an acre to begin the gardening tutorial and motherhood skills.
Eileen

Songbird; singing joy to the earth
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Juliekay
True Blue Farmgirl

237 Posts



237 Posts

Posted - Dec 01 2005 :  08:00:47 AM  Show Profile
Thanks for the advice everyone. We actually just found a place that is zoned agricultural on the edge of town. We are going to look at it this weekend. That way I can be near town and still do some country stuff.

I had a feeling that I was biting off more than I could chew. You guys just confirmed it. I think the first year I'll just worry about my baby and growing a garden. That'll be enough I think!

thanks again, I'll really have to get on here more now that I won't be traveling so much.

Julie
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Juliekay
True Blue Farmgirl

237 Posts



237 Posts

Posted - Dec 01 2005 :  08:07:10 AM  Show Profile
Eileen,

I'm due around the 4th of July. A firecracker! I'm excited and scared at the same time. Hopefully everything will be okay.

Julie
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Eileen
True Blue Farmgirl

1199 Posts

Eileen

USA
1199 Posts

Posted - Dec 01 2005 :  08:56:48 AM  Show Profile
Julie Kay, Your little one will be a sparkler in your life for sure!!!
Eileen

Songbird; singing joy to the earth
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Libbie
Farmgirl Connection Cultivator

3579 Posts

Anne E.
Elsinore Utah
USA
3579 Posts

Posted - Dec 05 2005 :  07:54:04 AM  Show Profile
Julie Kay - I noticed when I was reading your earlier posts that you were a little worried about being a first-time mother so "late" in life - you'll be great! My little one was born when I was 32, and I found that I had much more patience, calm, tolerance of lack of sleep and ability to remain centered in the midst of a little tiny (albeit darling and wonderful!) storm. You will LOVE this, and, in my experience, a garden will be quite enough!
Much love,
Libbie

"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe
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Juliekay
True Blue Farmgirl

237 Posts



237 Posts

Posted - Dec 07 2005 :  12:08:08 PM  Show Profile
Thanks Libbie,

I was thinking the same thing. A garden and a newborn, not to mention getting a new house in shape will be good nuff.

Julie
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl

1681 Posts

michele
farmingdale n.j.
USA
1681 Posts

Posted - Dec 11 2005 :  06:47:50 AM  Show Profile
Julie Kay, I was a few months shy of 40 when I had my daughter. Its been the best experience of my life. You will be fine. You & your husband need to figure out what is best for you. There was a time when that was all I wanted (moving to country. It wasn't in my plan & as it turned out it was right for me & my family. It's alot to move & have a baby but you will be so busy & so in love with your child you cant believe it. I would be ( to be honest) a bit nervous about being isolated w/ a new baby & husband gone but maybe you can get someone to stay w/ you for awhile at least in the beginning. my thoughts & prayers are with you. Michele

she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13
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rnmarti
Farmgirl at Heart

9 Posts

Marti
Trenton Mo
USA
9 Posts

Posted - Dec 13 2005 :  7:11:53 PM  Show Profile
Movin to the Farm would be GREAT in my opinion. I lived in a very remote area of north Missouri and had all 5 of my kids. I was never scared and there was always something to do. I wasn't bored. There is a great book out by Carla Emery on the down to earth living on a farm. It complements Mary Jane's book. There is so much peace on the farm. My hubby traveled for up to 2 weeks at a time and left me on the farm with the kids and most usually I was pregnant. We had a wood furnace in the basement for heat and well water to drink. It was a hoot. Good luck. You may write me if you wish...cfarms@grundyec.net.

Conratulations on the baby! Fun!
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Juliekay
True Blue Farmgirl

237 Posts



237 Posts

Posted - Dec 15 2005 :  4:32:51 PM  Show Profile
Thanks Katie-ell, Westernhorse, and Rnmarti for the advice.

It was good to hear a couple different viewpoints. As luck would have it, we are currently looking at a farmhouse on 5 acres that sits right in town and is zoned agricultural, if you can believe it. It would be a real fixer-upper but it might be worth it for the right price. So we're still thinking about it. Right now I am so busy taking care of my mom-in-law after her knee surgery, I don't think we could move out right now.

Hopefully we'll get in somewhere before this baby is born!

Julie
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