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wildhorsemom
Farmgirl in Training
14 Posts
Laurie
Illinois
USA
14 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 12 2006 : 8:54:33 PM
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Hi, lynn...hey I haven't really been here long, but I read your first post, and it sounded so much like us, I had to answer and at least encourage you.
Someone farther back mentioned depression. Well, in our household, it has been the reverse: I have been the one actually diagnosed as manic depressive (fought it my whole life, just never knew what to do about it-- looooong story, family history, blah, blah-- I'll save it for some other time!). My dear hubby, HE's the one who's been in YOUR shoes. So patient and kind, yet he has been pretty close this year to chucking it, not knowing what to do to help me. I know I was a strain on him as well. We moved to our new hometown about a year and a half ago (love it-- never wanna go back!), and admittedly, it WAS culture shock-- but of the best kind! It IS great to live in a small town where you know and are known. CAN be a hazard sometimes, lol! But I love it anyway.
Myself-- the big move (1900 miles, with just us, and only his folks moving out here too-- in their own home, thank goodness), my mother dying in '04 3 months before we left (I knew she was dying, drank herself to death forever...I wasn't crushed, really, but the rift it left in my already teetering relationship w/ siblings has been huge), and all that triggering my latest-- and worst since high school-- breakdown...well, it's been a hard year. Last year, I went to see the family doc, who referred me to my psychiatrist (yes, I used to mock them, but after learning more about my family history, and looking back at my own, well...I'm glad I went)...through a bit of trial (!) and error, I finally was placed on a medication and health regimen that seems to be helping me a great deal. I feel like the locomotive is no longer sitting on me, and the sun is shining again-- even on the grey days. A BIG change from the "me" I was this time last year!
Your hubby may be suffering from a mental health issue as well. It sounds like such to me, having been there. Be patient with him, continue to be kind. But also-- be kind to yourself! Keep on thinking positive, and remember to keep doing the little things that make you happy. Maybe tell him one day, "Honey, I'm concerned for you. Maybe you ought to go down to Dr. So & So" (family physician, don't drag a psych. doc into it yet!!) "and have a regular physical..tell him how your feeling. Maybe he can suggest some vitamin supplements or a new routine for you, that would help you feel better?" Just don't push...be gentle!
The family doctor and a physical may be just the thing your sweetheart needs...or maybe, the family doc will see through your husband's cloud and know that he needs something more. At any rate, gently, if you are able, give him the idea, and see what he does with it. I thought of it myself initially, in our case, because I really felt as if I was going to die, as if I was somehow "broken" or going crazy, and I have always felt I needed to "fix" myself if there was a problem. My husband was gently, but tentatively, supportive, and has done all he could to help, no matter how little he could do, to help me-- us-- be back on an even keel.
Anyway, I've gone on too long here, sorry! But from a person who's been where he is (I think!), and sees your side as well, I hope things are going better for you both. No matter how much we WANT to make these huge life changes, no matter how great they are for us, and no matter HOW wonderful things can be around us, it can all be a trigger to an episode of deep depression. Without help, it's hard to deal with alone, and hard for someone to understand who hasn't been in a mental illness psotion. Mental illnesses are no different than diabetes or cancer or any other affliction. They simply need outside help to help one overcome. Your sweet husband won't be able to just "shake it off" himself if this is indeed what he's experiencing. I know. I've seen it in me, and in my family. It's just some thoughts for you, from me.
I'll keep you two in my prayers! (I hope I haven't said anything to worry or offend you!)
In all lovingkindness,
Laurie |
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Too much negativity
