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*Farmgirl Barter™:  Swapping/barter subject that needs to be addressed  |
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EastTXFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
731 Posts
Victoria
Farmgirl #549
TX
USA
731 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 10:01:40 AM
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I am posting this, not to point fingers or to outcast anyone but rather, hoping that as a group we can find a solution to an ever growing issue. I have been on the forum about a year now and in that year I have participated in many swaps and barters. I must say I have been very pleased with all the transactions I have been involved in. And I hope that the ones I have swapped/bartered with will say the same about me. The issue is that many of you have not been so fortunate. I read over and over where some of you have been left holding the bag. I recently hosted the Christmas Apron Swap and I am still getting emails from many of you stating that you have sent your apron and not heard from your partner since and your emails have gone unanswered. Or that you are getting multiple excuses for not receiving a return. I have read the posting of many ladies that are losing faith in the whole swap/barter system. Farm life was built on bartering. This is not a new concept. I grew up on a farm and remember the neighbors swapping this for that or your time for mine. A shake of the hand or a word was as concrete as any contract. When we sign up for a swap or barter we are giving our word that we will complete that task and expect that our partner will do the same. Unfortunately, there are some signing up that are not following through. Everyone needs to do an internal check prior to joining in a swap or barter. Ask yourself will I be able to complete this task or will my return barter be equal in value to what I am getting? If you see that you will not be able to complete your end there is no shame in saying I think I will have to wait. The shame comes when a partner is left in the dark. I have had to drop out of a swap because of circumstances but I made sure that I informed the group and the hostess. What can we do about this growing issue of inconsiderate actions? I bring this question to all of you.
Begin each morning with a song in your heart. |
Edited by - EastTXFarmgirl on Dec 29 2009 12:39:05 PM |
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ZenGoddess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Cindy
MO
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 10:36:59 AM
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Victoria,
I applaud you!!
Your post is very well put, straight forward and needs to be read and re-read by all farm girls please.
I have a swap thats full of excuses- I feel like I am making an enemy by the constant "where is it- whats going on- e-mails that I have to send. We are suppose to be freinds and more than that SISTERS. Why would you do this to a sister. I can't !! You loose faith in those that do not follow thru and it is very annoying !! Then at the same time you see them trading with other girls, while seemingly ignoring you !
***I wonder if we should have a "muck" list and if you have not followed thru after a month the trade partner has the right to put your name on it for all of us to read, Include trade date not details.
And may I add that a tracking # to confirmation delivery on pkgs is a small price to pay for piece of mind ! ( on both ends)
Hugs,
ZenGoddess/Southernplum
My life goal is to Simply - Simplify my life.
http://herbalcottage.blogspot.com
http://herbalcottage.etsy.com |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 12:13:42 PM
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Cindy,
As far as I had heard, there was a "muck" list for those who repeatedly offend in this area.I am not sure exactly how all it worked out or what you were to do if you found someone who did this. It has been a problem for quite some time.
I know that we are all supposed to be understanding, as life does happen, and you will find many women here with differing opinions on how to handle it.As everyone sees things from a different perspective. I can't say as I know how it should be handled, only that it should be addressed for sure. :)
Victoria-- You are very right, all it takes is an email or something letting the swap mama know you are pulling out or what is going on.
Thank you for addressing this and I am anxious to see what is said on the matter.
many hugs,
Jessie
People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in,
their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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Moodene
True Blue Farmgirl
353 Posts
Nadine
Devers
Texas
USA
353 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 12:33:18 PM
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Thank you and well said..can't add anything else to it..By the way,sending you an email, Victoria.
Farmgirl #801
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Carrie W
Farmgirl Legend/Chapter Guru
437 Posts
Saratoga Springs
New York
USA
437 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 12:37:09 PM
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I've only been involved in a couple of swaps and have not had any bad experiences, but I just want to let you ladies know that I support what you are doing. It is sad to see that some ladies are having negative experiences and something must be done to reduce that. I think the swaps are fun, but they certainly would not be any fun at all if I was anxious about whether or not my partner was keeping her word.
I hope we can find a solution!
carrie
www.totallykadeshfarm.blogspot.com
Farmgirl Sisterhood #147
Tis better to weep at joy than to joy at weeping--Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing |
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farmallgrl
True Blue Farmgirl
483 Posts
Angela
Westminster
MD
USA
483 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 12:52:10 PM
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I too have been on the non-receiving end of things but only 2 times. Most of my barters and swaps have been so much fun!! However, SheilaC if you are reading this...please send me your addy. I have misplaced it. I live right in the middle of the northeast storm that hit right before Christmas. I am NOT making excuses....I have it ready to mail...honestly.
As far as the problem, it does need to be addressed as we all should be treated fairly:)
Angela
Farmgirl Sister #337
Has life got you down?...Look Up! |
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EastTXFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
731 Posts
Victoria
Farmgirl #549
TX
USA
731 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 12:54:55 PM
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Let me say I am glad you are responding as you are because I'm here to tell you this was not an easy post to submit. I don't want to get known as "the one that starts trouble" but it saddens me when I see that someone wants to have a good experience and are left with only a bad taste. I like the idea of the muck list but we have got to come up with something else. One of the things I appreciated about growing up on a farm was the fact that you were allowed to redeem yourself. Teaching of good moral values allowed us to make mistakes and be rightfully "punished". But through hard work and perseverance we could be forgiven. So how do we say - These actions are unacceptable and we will not tolerate them. Trust is suspended at this time but you can earn it back through a series of steps. - And then what should those steps be? No one should ever feel that they are forever cast out unless say after a 3 strikes your out sort of thing. Sometimes it only takes one time to see your name in print, and know that everyone knows that you did not hold up your end of a bargain, to stop a behavior. I really think we should move forward on this but it should be well thought out and not just alot of finger pointing. Let's hear your ideas...
Begin each morning with a song in your heart. |
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blackantsnpeonys
True Blue Farmgirl
151 Posts
Denise
Hinckley
Illinois
USA
151 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 1:05:25 PM
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MJF Sisters,Bringing this up is good. Please let me know what becomes of this. I have bartered/swapped twice with both sides being very pleased. We ALL need to keep the golden rule in our minds eye "Treat others as we would like to be treated" Happy Bartering/swapping to everyone. Honesty is the best policy I say..........be honest with yourself and with others Farm Girls.
Appreciate the little things, for they are not really that little. |
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EastTXFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
731 Posts
Victoria
Farmgirl #549
TX
USA
731 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 1:18:04 PM
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One other thought, on some of the links there are postings that stay on the front page regardless of the date of the last post. How does that happen? If we were to start a "probation" list it would need to stay in the barter link and on the front page. It would need to be maintained which I would not mind doing but if someone else would like to volunteer I'm good with that too. We could have 3-4 volunteers so that one person does not get burnt out. We could submit an email to the 'mama' with details. The mama could then send an email to the slacker explaining that their name has been submitted to be included in the swap/barter probation list. Give them time to respond (3-5 days). Depending on the outcome the name would be added to the list. It can not be removed until the swap has been completed. The person that submitted the name would have to post or send an email clearing swap. The mama would then remove the name. If the individual is placed on the list more than 3 times the name stays. What do we do with the list? Do we ask that all swap mamas check the list prior to posting partners and not include anyone on the list? Barters would have to check on thier own.
Begin each morning with a song in your heart. |
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ZenGoddess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Cindy
MO
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 2:23:45 PM
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Ohhh,do we have a wheel barrow or needle smiley ??? It could even show up under our names and if you have failed to follow thru with your trade then you get a wheelbarrow or needle. 3 strikes = suspension until you make it right with your partner. We need to be forgiving. I agree we need a few mediators B/4 a name gets a mark.
Hugs,
ZenGoddess/Southernplum
My life goal is to Simply - Simplify my life.
http://herbalcottage.blogspot.com
http://herbalcottage.etsy.com |
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LakeOntarioFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
933 Posts
Brenda
North Rose
NY
USA
933 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 2:40:38 PM
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Victoria- thank you for having the courage to bring this up!
The forum moderator should be able to post a sticky that stays right up front with whatever we want on there. This what I have been trying to do. Maybe a few rules, maybe a "muck" list, but I think the farm girls should definitely have a say in what goes into the sticky, and having a say on how the swaps are run- at least to a point!
I had a feeling that we would get a bunch of feeback! :)
Brenda
FarmGirl # 711
If you rest, you rust. Helen Hayes
http://theviewfromhere-brenda.blogspot.com/ |
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ZenGoddess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Cindy
MO
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 3:23:33 PM
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Victoria,
I just don't think any one of us is going to think badly of you and I for one appreciate us addressing our problems. As farm girls we need to deal with the good and the bad and we'll actually have less bad if we "nip it in the bud" b/4 it gets out of control.
And Brenda mentioned a vote ?? I think it would be a good idea, we could all have a say in this then.
Hugs,
ZenGoddess/Southernplum
My life goal is to Simply - Simplify my life.
http://herbalcottage.blogspot.com
http://herbalcottage.etsy.com |
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Merry
True Blue Farmgirl
765 Posts
Merry
Ankeny
Iowa
USA
765 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 3:28:35 PM
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I have typed several replies, and deleted them. But I do agree something should be done. Sometimes there needs to be consequences for action, or in the transgressors case, nonaction.
I too am still waiting for a swap item.
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://iowafoodcoop.blogspot.com
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
Don't pray for a lighter load, pray for a stronger back. |
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 3:34:05 PM
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Very well said. And I'm sorry if I have done that to any of you. I don't think I have but if I have please e-mail me and tell me and I will make it up.
Hugs,
Channah
If you can dream it, and if you are willing to put forth the work and effort, you can have anything you envision. |
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sewsweet
True Blue Farmgirl
172 Posts
Carol
Canada
172 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 3:51:59 PM
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It's nice to see people talking about this. I have sent out items in good faith, only to receive silence at the other end of the barter. 99 percent of swaps have worked wonderfully, though. There are so many kind and considerate people who frequent this group. Since I don't like to hound people, I usually send one or two reminders and then give up. I don't mind it when people email me to let me know there is a delay with them getting items to me. That's just fine. When there is zero communication it is frustrating.
I don't know if it is possible to set up a caution list...that's a good idea, but would require some work and diligence to make it effective. And if someone says it got lost in the mail, what do you do? |
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ZenGoddess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Cindy
MO
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 4:15:27 PM
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Getting lost in the mail, I think the post office does it on purpose. I learned many years ago at my office to ** Put a Tracking # on the Package, delivery confirmation so both parties know when it was mailed and when it was recieved. Unless its something you can easily replace, I didn't put tracking #'s on my seeds coz I can easily send more. I have Ice cream pails of seed! Anything important gets a vivid neon green slip!
Hugs,
ZenGoddess/Southernplum
My life goal is to Simply - Simplify my life.
http://herbalcottage.blogspot.com
http://herbalcottage.etsy.com |
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2quilter
True Blue Farmgirl
127 Posts
Patricia
Greenwood
IN
USA
127 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 4:39:14 PM
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I don't think a muck list would work, because people could potentially simply change their sign on info and create a new identity. I realize things can happen; at the post office, people get sick, etc. Perhaps more contact info is needed with the other party when a deal is struck? I've only done one barter, and it went very well, so I am definitely a novice in this arena.....having said that it is possible that people have computer problems, life issues, etc. that can legitamately keep them from following through. I'd hate to think that someone got 'mucked' due to some kind of computer failure or family situation....but at the same time I certainly understand the frustration of being on the zero end of a deal. All I know is that people should follow their conscious, and do unto others as was stated previously. PS--I'm new to MJF just a month or so, and I must tell you ladies that I'm so happy to have found 'like-minded' people who just want friendly, no strings attached, networking. It pains me to think that there are potential 'mucksters' out there....but I guess it's no different in real life.....there's always that chance the people don't do the right thing.....thanks for letting me sound off....
When life hands you scraps, make quilts! |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 4:39:55 PM
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Kudos! for bringing this up. I for one is experiencing this "failed swap". I really do not like feeling the way I feel about that one at the moment. Unfortunately, I am a sensitive spirit gal. I feel sad and at times get to tears. Yes it is silly for me to get that way. I just want to share that maybe those who do not follow through on their commitment might read this and know what happens to those who are still waiting for their fair swap. I was involved with a swap with a different group for dog Christmas (last year)and my swap partner dropped out without notice and it tore me up emotionally. Yes, I am fine now but this year they had the secret Santa Paws again. Did I sign up? Nope! I couldn't put myself through that emotional hurt again. It is sad that I feel this way already here in MJF Connection and I am fairly new here. (Please, to those that I am "personally" bartering with, I am not speaking of you)
My words to those who do not follow through, would you like this to happen to you?
Cindy... I also use the delivery confirmation, such a stress reliever!
:o)
Karrieann ~ Farmgirl Sister #766 (29 Sept 2009)
My etsy: Yesterday's Scraps, Tomorrow's Treasures http://www.etsy.com/shop/2TomorrowsTreasures |
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Betty J.
True Blue Farmgirl
1409 Posts
Betty
Pasco
WA
USA
1409 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 4:43:50 PM
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The post office does not lose mail on purpose. Both my kids work for our local P.O. and despite opinions to the contrary, they are very ethical and provide a very necessary service.
Just wanted all you to know. I used to think that way until I worked for the P.O. They have standards and very strict rules. Not obeyed and there is swift and sure penalties.
Betty in Pasco |
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EastTXFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
731 Posts
Victoria
Farmgirl #549
TX
USA
731 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 4:52:49 PM
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I'm with you Betty my nephew works for the postal service and I have seen that kid rewalk his entire route (10 miles) in a good old East Texas thunderstorm if he thinks he put something in the wrong box. I'm 100% behind our postal service. Would hate to think of life without them and don't think I would want to do their job.
Begin each morning with a song in your heart. |
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LakeOntarioFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
933 Posts
Brenda
North Rose
NY
USA
933 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 5:10:55 PM
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I would think the "muck" list would probably contain names of repeat no-finish swappers, also those who fail to contact the host when they are going to be late mailing, or come up with a non-valid excuse for not mailing at all. For barters, those who do not follow through. In one swap I have been in, where I have failed to receive something, I have not heard back from this person at all, but looking back at her past posts, I am inclined to think that something serious must have happened. She just doesn't seem like the type to just drop out, no communication or anything.
I will say that my biggest problem with being a host in some swaps, is not hearing from someone when they are behind schedule. And, I mean weeks behind, not just days. I am a nice person, I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt,and when I say please email if you are late, I mean it. We can always work something out. But, if I don't hear anything at all, until after I have had to email them it can be very annoying!It also makes me sad for those on the other end, who don't receive anything, and don't know why. :(
And, to be honest, in all the years I have been mailing things, the only time that the post office ever lost something of mine, it was a package to my daughter in Wales, was missing for months, then came back to my house!
Something to think about- what if hosts of swaps had everyone's phone number? There is definitely a privacy issue involved here, but it would lend an air of accountability to swaps.
Brenda
FarmGirl # 711
If you rest, you rust. Helen Hayes
http://theviewfromhere-brenda.blogspot.com/ |
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ZenGoddess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Cindy
MO
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 6:59:59 PM
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I didn't mean to offend any postal workers or families. Please note I said years ago and I have used the confirmation slip since then, with no problems. Sorry if I stepped on toes I know they work hard and have strict rules, my brother worked in a central office for quite awhile. I don't think we give them the credit they deserve! We also give our carriers a gift each year to let them know we appreciate the jobs they do : ))
I can't see anything wrong with swap Momas having our phone #'s, incase it is a computor problem.
The swap I'm having problems with has been since Aug. ...I think, I have been patient. I see her posting on the forum quite reg. & still swapping ! Thats what bothers me!!
Hugs,
ZenGoddess/Southernplum
My life goal is to Simply - Simplify my life.
http://herbalcottage.blogspot.com
http://herbalcottage.etsy.com |
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Futters
True Blue Farmgirl
608 Posts
Michelle & Ashley
CA
USA
608 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 7:16:01 PM
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Hi ladies,
I won't share my secret on this issue, as it probably would not meet Mary Jane approval (sorry!), but what if you did not send out your swap/barter package until you have had email confirmation that you and your partner are still on. If you email your partner a couple of times and there is no response, then you know the swap is likely not going to happen and you won't send yours out. Or have your partner email you when she is going to the post office and then you both mail out at roughly the same time. The only extra effort is emailing. And there is no need to have one person trying to keep track of the "muck" list.
I have been on this site since I think August of this year and consider myself still fairly new and learning the ropes, however, I too have had several swap/barter partners already not follow through. I learned quickly how to avoid this issue. I also do look at my partner's last postings and that's a big clue right there if they have not posted in a month or so.
Have you seen the news stories about being addicted to Facebook, MySpace, etc., well I can honestly say that I am addicted to MJFarmgirl Connection. I can craft and read/post on the site several times a day! HA! I am thinking you all do the same. So if a partner has not posted in a while, it is not cause they are busy working on our swap, it's that she is busy with life. Which is fine.
Those of us who follow through with swaps do so because we can budget our crafting time and life and we just plain enjoy the connection with each other. I am so glad I found this site and the MJFarmgirl magazine. When the time comes that I can't give whole heartedly to a swap, then I shall not sign up. But until then, I will do what I can to cover myself to prevent a loss of money spent, time spent creating, and the feeling of sadness when my partner does not return the favor. I will continue to swap with you great ladies who return the favor.
Have a good day!
Michelle
Farmgirl #760
Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.
http://thetatteredquiltcottage.blogspot.com/ |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 7:28:55 PM
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As I am reading these posts I am wondering if maybe I have forgotten something somewhere. There were several things I had entered a few months back but I had to withdraw from them. I hope I withdrew from them all. I am so forgetful I could have forgotten. Now I am wondering. I was in the pot holder swap and it did take me longer than it was supposed to take but I was in contact with my partner and the swap leader the whole time.
Please let me know if I am one of these slacker swappers. I hope I'm not but I don't know now. This is awful. I would hope if I had forgotten someone would have e-mailed me sometime. Same with anyone else.
I have been in several swaps and have always gotten what I swapped for. I'm sorry there are so many that have had a bad experience with swaps. It isn't fair to the ones that keep their end of the deal.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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ZenGoddess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Cindy
MO
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 7:41:45 PM
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I use a 3 ring note book to keep track of my swaps/barters with the address I sent the pkg too. It has been very helpful in reminding me when a swap is due and other details I need.
When I am done with a swap/barter I write it on the top right hand corner of the page and put it in the back of the book. My book is divided into 2 sections. this way, current happenings in the front,
finished items in the back. Works for me.
Hugs,
ZenGoddess/Southernplum
My life goal is to Simply - Simplify my life.
http://herbalcottage.blogspot.com
http://herbalcottage.etsy.com |
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Roxy7
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Robin
Denver
CO
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2009 : 8:26:03 PM
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I have only gotten burned once. It was someone who didnt have many posts (not that I do), but they said they got my swap. When I emailed and said I had never receieved anything she wrote back with a whole story about what bad luck she had been having. I get that we all have things happen, but it would be polite to email your swap partner. If you cant complete the swap send them their stuff back. Turning your bad times into another persons bad times isnt right. We can all think we have the world on our shoulders, but you dont know what someone else is battling offline. The one person I got bunred from hasnt posted here in ages and I think she had signed up for a whole slew of swaps. She wrote to me about trying hard to get some other swaps in the mail and that mine would follow....this was like September.
I like the honor system, because it gives new folks a chance, but if no one is ever called on it they could get away with a lot before vanishing off the site. |
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*Farmgirl Barter™: Swapping/barter subject that needs to be addressed |
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Swapping/barter subject that needs to be addressed
