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*Farmgirl Barter™:  Swapping/barter subject that needs to be addressed  |
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JojoNH
True Blue Farmgirl
1984 Posts
Joanna
Dunbarton
New Hampshire
USA
1984 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 19 2010 : 1:43:25 PM
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Well said. I am happy to report I have completed 3 of my obligations and have one to go I know those I have been in communication with understood my situation and I am so blessed to have such patient friends!! I feel so much better now that my end is completed and I have to admit, I am so grateful for the opportunity to show that I make good on a commitment.
Joanna #566
JojoNH
www.CountryCents.com
http://CountryCents.Blogspot.com
http://Twitter.com/Eastwooddesigns |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2010 : 1:56:37 PM
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I am a moderator on another forum that used to have swaps, but, eventually disallowed them. I also am active on a forum that still allows swaps. In my experience, these have been good safeguards:
During the swap, there is a deadline for emails. (ie, once you get your swappee, you must send out an email within a week, etc.)
REQUIREMENT of delivery confirmation. How much is it. .70? Come on, that's alot cheaper than assembling/sending a new package.
Some swaps require a post count in order to participate
There is a "Bad Swappers" list, which, if you do not fill your end of the bargain, you are added to, and cannot participate in any more swaps.
Many times you have to "agree" per PM to the list of rules the swap organizer has put in place for the swap.
Sometimes there are "brackets" in the swapping. a $10 bracket, a $25 bracket, etc. etc.
Some have even gone so far as implementing a "grandfathering in" approach. Someone else must vouch for having a good experience with you as a swappee before you're allowed to participate.
These few things have been helpful. But, if worse comes to worse, we've even had a lady go to the police on a "swaplifter." It was a traveling box, but, in the end the items were retrieved.
These few things have helped from what my experience has been, but, there's never a 100% guarantee, unfortunately. :(
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com |
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AliciaNak
True Blue Farmgirl
405 Posts
Alicia
Elko
Nevada
USA
405 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2010 : 08:55:26 AM
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BUMP for the post.
I agree, swappers/barterers should read this.
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.~Ralph Waldo Emmerson
www.blondenak.blogspot.com |
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LakeOntarioFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
933 Posts
Brenda
North Rose
NY
USA
933 Posts |
Posted - Mar 14 2010 : 05:11:02 AM
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Bump
Brenda
FarmGirl # 711
Nothing we achieve in this world is achieved alone. It is always achieved with others teaching us along the way. Lee J. Colan
http://theviewfromhere-brenda.blogspot.com/ |
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sewsweet
True Blue Farmgirl
172 Posts
Carol
Canada
172 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2010 : 10:38:39 AM
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BUMP. A friendly reminder.
Farmgirl Sister #1191 |
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MissLiss
Farmgirl Legend Schoolmarm
322 Posts
Melissa
Corona
CA
USA
322 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2010 : 5:31:30 PM
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I am one of those people! I have signed up for three swaps. One was great, one involved 2 ladies and one was fantastic but the other never sent me anything and the last one I signed up for was one of those secret ones where I put a lot of time and effort into making my partner feel special, but the girl who got me was not as "enthusiastic" as I was. It is really disheartening to feel that we all share the same values and belief in the community here on Farmgirls and then find ladies that do that kind of thing. And I agree that things come up or you don't have as much money as others or whatever the case may be, but I am one of those without very much financially to put into a swap, but I really try to make things from scratch or do some smart shopping. After all, it is the thought that counts. And a nice note would be greatly appreciated to let a swap partner know if something has come up and you can't do the swap or are going to have to take longer than you thought or whatever. I think we would all be pretty understanding in those situations. But what really gets me are the ladies who sign up and *don't do anything*. No communication at all, especially after they get your items, but you haven't gotten theirs. Frustrating. I have decided now to only join swaps that involve things that are easy to send (i.e. fit in an envelope) so they don't cost extra and involve creating something (that won't cost much). It hurts my heart to say that, but it is hard to justify spending the extra money on someone who doesn't care.
Melissa ~ Farmgirl #724
Mother Hen to The Knitty Gritty Farmgirls of the Inland Empire
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ayates
True Blue Farmgirl
170 Posts
anna
hailey
id
USA
170 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 1:57:55 PM
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| I've signed up for ten (10) swaps in my short farmgirlism, sent out eight (8) hand made items (quilt blocks in progress/cupcake partner unassigned) and have received two (2)! Do the math - that a 25% return. Where is integrity? I'm sure its a few 'bad apples' that are creating heartache for the rest of us. I agree with the post about 'marking" the offenders - if you don't deliver by the designated date, you cannot join another swap -- let's compile a black list... I'm in favor of a little weeding! I would like to be part of a "salt of the earth" group of ladies. And I would like to mention - the good manners of acknowledging the receipt of a swap item is essential! The two (2) reciprocating swap partners, thanked me...the others, I wish I could take my gift back:( |
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Beth Jones
True Blue Farmgirl
3196 Posts
beth
tallassee
alabama
3196 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 3:50:10 PM
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Being new to the sisterhood, I have completed 3 swaps and have received 2 in return (so far :)) so I do not have a great point of reference of being burned. My concern is when we do swaps, particular colors or themes being asked for. That puts a lot of pressure on the person who gets that sisters name. Part of the fun is the surprise element of creativity. I do the swaps for fun and to see the creativity of the girls around the nation. Just my thoughts........Smiles, Beth
You can never be to kind! |
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ruralfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
4309 Posts
Rene'
Prosser
WA
USA
4309 Posts |
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clothedinscarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
1333 Posts
Siobhan
Battle Creek
MI
USA
1333 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 8:02:23 PM
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Maybe we should put some regulations on who can swap. I've participated in swaps on other boards before where you had to have been a member for a certain period of time and have a certain number of posts before you can swap. That way you make sure that people who aren't already loyal to the sisterhood aren't getting involved right off the bat and then not "sticking around". I'm sure a lot of the bad swaps are not intentional, but rather people who got excited when they first visited the Farmgirl connection and then just didn't keep up with it because it was too much for them or something. I do feel bad for the people who are not receiving their share of the swap. Maybe we do need to have some rules of participation to try to cut down on the rate of failure.
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
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fudsy
True Blue Farmgirl
175 Posts
Pamela
Clark Fork
Idaho
USA
175 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 06:14:34 AM
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I am new to the Farmgirl Sisterhood I am not new to internet swaps. One thing that I have learned during this time is that consider a swap a loan as to a child or a good friend. My Daddy taught me that when you "loan" or "gift" something don't expect anything in return, you won't be disappointed. When you do receive it back it is even more special. Once I got past that I enjoy the giving and am never bummed though sometimes sad. I do however remember who didn't return and consider them the next time I swap and choose not to swap with them.
JMO
Farmgirl Sister #1599
"Everyday is new with no mistakes"
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clothedinscarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
1333 Posts
Siobhan
Battle Creek
MI
USA
1333 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 07:04:29 AM
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Good word Pamela! Very true.
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
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Lin
True Blue Farmgirl
807 Posts
Lin
Sioux City
IA
USA
807 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 08:42:13 AM
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After reading all of your comments, I have to add a few lines. I understand disappointment when you don't recieve your swap. However, The swaps lose their charm and connection when the mind set is negative. When each of us signs up to do a swap, it should be with our heart and because we want to share a particular item with one of our sisters. I've heard a few girls complain that what they recieved wasn't as nice as what they sent. That is disturbing to me! It doesn't matter if we recieve anything, much less what we consider to be equal. I think we each need to reevaluate our motives and ask ourselves if we're "giving to recieve" or if we're "giving because it feels good". There will always be a few that don't follow through and we can't assume it's because they're intentionally being inconsiderate. Let's all assume it's because something happened and they're too embarrassed to come forward. That's life and we need to move on. I would hate to see the swaps and barters eliminated. because they are a wonderful connection and most of us have experienced alot of warmth and connection through them. If we haven't, then we shouldn't sign up for the swaps, because they'll continue to be a source of disappointment. Hugs and Smiles, Lin
"Our beautiful earth is worth saving"!! |
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clothedinscarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
1333 Posts
Siobhan
Battle Creek
MI
USA
1333 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 09:30:30 AM
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Lin, I agree with the part about saying that something wasn't "up to par", so to say, with your expectations. I read of few of those and thought, "I'm glad that it wasn't one of my swaps that that person is talking about". I put my heart and soul into every swap I do and it would be very hurtful for me to come on here and see my swap partner say that what I sent was not as good as what she sent. Ouch. Maybe I'm not as talented or don't have as much money to spend, but that doesn't mean I didn't create and give with all my heart. We must be careful, sisters. If you don't want to take the risk of not getting something in return, or getting something that is not up to your expectations, then just refrain from participating. I love what Pamela said about giving without expecting something in return and being blessed when we do. I have also participated in swaps on other boards. Very regulated ones. And they still will have people totally disappear on their partners. In fact, I was once a partner with the swap coordinator and she disappeared during the swap. She showed up weeks later after many attempted emails and had been dealing with a very sick daughter. So, we can never be too sure of a situation and assume that someone is purposefully not fulfilling their end of the swap. And, really, these swaps will never be 100% fail-proof, but I've got to say, that of all the swaps I've participated in, the ones here have been my absolute best experiences yet!
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
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Lin
True Blue Farmgirl
807 Posts
Lin
Sioux City
IA
USA
807 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 10:43:00 AM
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Think it comes down to "give for the sake of giving"! Having expectations in life often leads to disappointment, so scratch the expectations and find joy in the act of giving!! That's why we're all connected and that's why we all care about each other so much! Hugs and Smiles, Lin
"Our beautiful earth is worth saving"!! |
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Lin
True Blue Farmgirl
807 Posts
Lin
Sioux City
IA
USA
807 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 12:08:31 PM
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Rene, I like the idea of one of us "making extra" for swaps we sign up for. I know that sometimes the need arises for one reason or the other and it seems like several have stepped up and said they would contribute an extra, and I just believe that's the way it should be and represents the Farmgirl spirit!! I also like your statement "be forgiving when others lose their way"! That's the very core of the Farmgirl spirit that we are all about and we may each need this at some point during our lives on earth. Hugs and Smiles, Lin
"Our beautiful earth is worth saving"!! |
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mtngirljon
True Blue Farmgirl
539 Posts
Jonnie
Webster
Texas
USA
539 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 12:16:14 PM
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So, I just have to day this in response to the comment about being happy with what we get not being "up to par." I'm supposed to be happy with an apron that I received that I couldn't even use because the straps were on wrong??
Jonnie
Farmgirl #648
"Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows will fall behind you" - Maori Proverb
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Lin
True Blue Farmgirl
807 Posts
Lin
Sioux City
IA
USA
807 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 12:37:00 PM
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Yes, Jonnie, I think you should be happy with your apron because your swap partner did her best and she got it in the mail to you!! Her heart was in the right place!! You could always take the straps off and switch them to the correct way or fold the top down and use it as a half apron. Hugs, Lin
"Our beautiful earth is worth saving"!! |
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Heather B
True Blue Farmgirl
562 Posts
Heather
Longmont
Colorado
USA
562 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 1:03:15 PM
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Lin, you are a wise woman! I agree with everything, yes everything you said. My mother always said that if you can't afford to lose it don't loan it. The concept works in the situation in discussion here. I like giving, but you know I like recieving things no matter how professional or amateur it may be because someone took the time to try her best and sent something special just for me from her heart to mine. 
If a person needs a guarantee of perfection or otherwise, perhaps swaps aren't for them. (Vacationing in Atlantic City or Vegas wouldnt be a good idea either!) I have been lucky and recieved all my swaps and was very happy with each and every item no matter what.
Heather
http://homesteadincity.blogspot.com/
"Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty"
Farm Girl Sister #662 |
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Lin
True Blue Farmgirl
807 Posts
Lin
Sioux City
IA
USA
807 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 1:20:29 PM
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Heather, thank you and you are also wise. Recieving, regardless of it's quality, is heartwarming. To know that someone took the time to make/buy a gift and send it to us is what the "spirit of giving" is about! I agree that perhaps the swaps aren't for all of us because there will always be imperfection involved. Hugs and Smiles, Lin
"Our beautiful earth is worth saving"!! |
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City_Chick
True Blue Farmgirl
509 Posts
Christina
Omaha
Nebraska
USA
509 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 1:31:14 PM
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Lin I couldn't have said it better myself. I think that you are right on all accounts.
I have been on the MaryJane forums since the spring of 2008. I have participated in several swaps as well as MailArt when it was going strong. There were several times that I didn't recieve an item. I never felt betrayed by my partner. Life happens girls. You all should know that. I do the swaps because I am a giver. I love giving and sharing what I can with others. Not because I ever expect anything in return but because it is the right thing for me to do.
However, I also want to note that whomever suggested tht we put rules and regulations on the swaps and make girls be members for a certain amount of time that is crazy! I have swapped with many new members and they usually have had their item to me before theirs was ever sent. Our newbies keep us strong and alive. So please never discourage them or limit them to what they can do. I never understand why women feel betrayed or put upon by other women. If so many women didn't let themselves be ruled by the thought of I want the equal of what I give or the I did for you so what will you do for me mentality we, as women, could rule the world. Just think if your mother, grandmother or even MaryJane had that attitude. The lessons that would be lost would be tremendous.
I'm proud to have a grattitude attitude!
Hugs~
Christina
Farmgirl Sister #195
City Chick & Friends Chapter Mama
http://thecitychicks.wordpress.com/ |
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Lin
True Blue Farmgirl
807 Posts
Lin
Sioux City
IA
USA
807 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 1:55:22 PM
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Christina, your last paragraph is profound and I thank you for reminding us all!! Let us all remember to savor our "Lifes Lessons" so we don't lose them. We only get one chance at this...we must remember life's not a dress rehearsal!! I believe we can make our earth a better place and begin to repair the damage and I can't think of a better place for that to begin than within our own hearts and minds. Hugs and Smiles, Lin
"Our beautiful earth is worth saving"!! |
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Heather B
True Blue Farmgirl
562 Posts
Heather
Longmont
Colorado
USA
562 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 2:11:28 PM
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Lin and Christine, I agree. Thank you both!
Heather
http://homesteadincity.blogspot.com/
"Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty"
Farm Girl Sister #662 |
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clothedinscarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
1333 Posts
Siobhan
Battle Creek
MI
USA
1333 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 3:22:11 PM
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Sorry, I was the one who suggested the thing about making people wait. And in fact, I am a newbie myself and would be willing to wait for the privilege of swapping with my sisters, but I can't say I haven't enjoyed the privilege to do it right away. The only reason I suggested it was to cut down on the few people that might jump onto the forum for the first time and get excited about all they see and the swaps and stuff and sign up, then realize that they don't really have the time or want to be on the forum afterall and just disappear, ya know? I agree with you Christina, that the majority of the newbies are amazing and great swap partners. It was just a suggestion because it seemed like there was a time there where there were a lot of people just being left stranded in swaps. Like I said in my last post, I have had nothing but good swaps and wouldn't want to change a thing.
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
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Lin
True Blue Farmgirl
807 Posts
Lin
Sioux City
IA
USA
807 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 8:33:18 PM
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Siobhan, I understand why you suggested that...it seems you were just suggesting another possibility to eliminate some of the problems. I've also had very fun swaps and I'm shocked at some of the attitudes that crop up, because it is so far from what these swaps are about and I hope the "wake-up calls" will alert the negative attitudes to either stop doing the swaps or change their thinking patterns to understand that "giving" in itself is the gift! I truly believe that addressing this problem head on is the best. Thank you for contributing and I think you're a sweetheart!!
Christina, it must be very difficult for you to encounter this after loving and participating on MJF Forums for so many years. I am also deeply saddened and angered by some women's attitudes and I believe absolutely that women could rule the world, if the attitudes weren't a presence. What an absolute waste of time and energy!!! I am completely baffled by how these attitudes even surface in people!! I'm so glad we've addressed this together because it has troubled me since I found this wonderful "Friendship Garden" just a few short months ago! Hugs and Smiles to both of you, Lin
"Our beautiful earth is worth saving"!! |
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*Farmgirl Barter™: Swapping/barter subject that needs to be addressed |
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Swapping/barter subject that needs to be addressed
