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*Farmgirl Barter™:  Swapping/barter subject that needs to be addressed  |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 03:40:52 AM
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Thanks for your input and experience. I am admitting now that all I know about swaps is here on the Farmgirl Forum. I just joined one on another location and saw their requirements are. Feedback, etc...is just like ebay...it might be a little much but I can see now that people could get used to that and come here to see how different we are.
What is done here is the same as angels,  but of course not required. Because of my personality I prefer more casual...but that's me.
I wanted to say that I am beginning to understand how it could be frustrating. Perhaps a swap hostess/mamma could ask for enough participation and knowlege of a member before allowing her to join a swap. I see nothing wrong with that.
hugs, Linda
Linda in Scranton, PA
What a wonderful world.
Louis Armstrong |
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LakeOntarioFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
933 Posts
Brenda
North Rose
NY
USA
933 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 06:05:47 AM
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The only problem with that is, what do you do about the girls who have been on the forums for a long time, but don't finish their swaps? And, they don't answer emails either? Yet, continue to swap.
I have seen the new girls come forward(not all, but some) after they have made a mistake to ask how to fix it. I have seen some of the "oldies" come forward, or finish their swap when confronted, but there are still those who do not finish their swaps.
Keep in mind I have only been a farm girl for about 7 months, so I don't know if these girls have been repeat offenders all along, but I do know that it makes me not want to be a swap mamma anymore, because I am not sure what to do the next time they sign up for one of my swaps!
Brenda
FarmGirl # 711
Nothing we achieve in this world is achieved alone. It is always achieved with others teaching us along the way. Lee J. Colan
http://theviewfromhere-brenda.blogspot.com/ |
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EastTXFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
731 Posts
Victoria
Farmgirl #549
TX
USA
731 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 06:33:12 AM
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I have finally had time to get on the forum and catch up on some reading. Wow! There is alot of thought on this subject. I also see that, with the holidays over, the swaps and barters are picking back up. I hope that keeping this subject in the foreground and allowing others to see how this affects so many it will curve the behavior. Realistically, with us being on the internet, there is not alot we can do to resolve the issue. I really don't see how having phone numbers will help. Tracking or ratings will require extensive computer programs. It is going to take each individual farmgirl to govern herself. Some things that the swap mamas can do (and many already do) is set clear and concise instructions and expectations. Don't be afraid to set rules (ex. dates, return contact requirements...) and at what point you will assume that a farmgirl has chosen to drop from the swap. Then follow through with it. Take into account that there are many newcomers. Sometimes I wonder if some of this is caused, as Kim described, due to a lack of knowledge. Those organizing the swap could set contact dates, kind of a last call thing, 2 days before partners are assigned all interested in continuing with the swap need to post, within 5 days after partners assigned post again, post when item received (that of coarse can not be a set date). These dates need to be set dates and posted with the first post along with a notice that missing any of the posting dates will result in being dropped from the swap. I am in the year long Secret Sister swap and Brenda sent each participant an email with the instructions she had posted on the forum. Great idea! With the apron swap I posted when the item was received by each participant. I believe in general this is a wonderful group and "bad eggs" are few and far between. But it only takes one to make a lasting impression. Kim I hope you will not give up on swapping. They are fun. I have seen many different types of challenges on this forum from food drives to mitten trees. I have a challenge for all farmgirls that participate in swaps and barters. Always practice high integrity and strong morals. It doesn't matter if anyone can see you. You see you. This challenge is not just to be practiced on the forum but in everyday life. If the little checker gives you too much change, give it back. If you get credit for something you did not do, point it out. If you sign up for a swap or barter follow through. Be able to look at yourself and smile. Be proud of not just who you are but what you are. Be the farmgirl that everyone says 'oh, I want to be her partner'. I think in today society integrity and morals have been placed on the back burner. Let's bring them back. You're integrity is the one thing you have total control of. It is what defines you. It is kind of funny because I have been following the posts on Keeping in Touch "I double dog dare ya". I have been trying to think of two words that define me. How can I sum up me in two words. But in writing this post, I have been able to chose one of them and that is integrity-ologist. I have tried to build my life on my integrity, in work and play. I like the fact that people trust me. I like the fact that people don't think it's ok to do immoral things while I am around.
Begin each morning with a song in your heart. |
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mtngirljon
True Blue Farmgirl
539 Posts
Jonnie
Webster
Texas
USA
539 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 06:42:22 AM
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Victoria,
Thank you for saying so succinctly what I've been trying to put into words.
Jonnie
Farmgirl #648
"Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows will fall behind you" - Maori Proverb
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Mollymaude
True Blue Farmgirl
92 Posts
Vickie
San Angelo
TX
USA
92 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2010 : 07:32:12 AM
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I appreciate the courage it took to initiate addressing this problem. I was deeply saddened the other day when I read a post that someone had withheld mailing their swap until receiving theirs due to having been burned before. Without any further details, I wondered if the person the swap was being held from had the potential to be punished for something others had done. If we sign up we should have a personal committment to follow through or as stated above, if unable to do so for any reason just let the appropriate person(s) know. I agree that we need to have a measure to track persons who sign up and don't fulfill but I also agree we need to be very careful in how we do it. Leading by example and following with forgiveness. Maybe a non-swapper list and as someone previously suggested, holding the names of those persons off swapping until the previous committment is honored.
I am relatively new to MJF but to each of you that I have bartered and swapped with I love it and the receipt of the bartered/swapped items has brightened my day and lifted my heart each time. My schedule/life/work has been turned upside down the past couple of months but there has been great joy in both sending and receiving. As sisters and friends I would not want to stand in the shadow of accountability for disappointing another.
To remain silent and indifferent is a great sin |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2010 : 06:13:08 AM
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very well said by both of you....I am glad that we are keeping this topic active...
Linda in Scranton, PA
What a wonderful world.
Louis Armstrong |
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antoinette
True Blue Farmgirl
826 Posts
Toni
East Freedom
PA
USA
826 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2010 : 7:33:02 PM
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I just wanted to say a little of what is on my mind, I get disappointed when a swap
doesn't follow through on both ends but what really upsets me is when the receipeint
doesn't even acknowledge that they have gotten it. Thanks for letting me vent. Toni
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melanie47601
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Melanie
Boonville
IN
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2010 : 09:53:41 AM
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I agree Toni. It is always nice when a swap/barter partner says, "Hey I got your package in the mail." and lets you know that they like it or don't like it. I have a had a few swaps or barters when my partner hasn't acknowledged the arrival of my package (not recently) and it leaves you just wondering did it get there? does she like it? oh what if she doesn't like it? yadda yadda yadda. If we use a delivery confirmation, we'll know that it was delivered but it's just not the same as hearing from your partner.
One of you mentioned the problem with the mail art. I'm sorry I can't remember who now. But I believe that was the first swap I signed up for when I joined. I stayed with it for about 4 months before asking to removed from the list. I never did receive any mail art and the pieces I sent out were never acknowledged. I felt left out. I wondered if it was because I was new and nobody knew me. It really did put me off from doing any swaps or barters for awhile. As far as having a bad barter experience, it has only happened once. And it bothered me at first, but I will probably be leary about bartering with her in the future.
Aside from those couple of instances I have been completely happy with the swaps and barters I have been a part of. And look forward to many, many more.
Melanie
PS. I still don't know who my secret sister was from the 4th round. So if anyone knows, please, please tell me. I want to be able to thank her for the goodies. And the suspense is driving me crazy! 
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"
Blog~ http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/
Swap Blog~ http://mels-swapshop.blogspot.com/ |
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EastTXFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
731 Posts
Victoria
Farmgirl #549
TX
USA
731 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2010 : 6:48:01 PM
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Melanie email SueFreely she should still have the list from the SS round. That would be driving me nuts too.
Begin each morning with a song in your heart. |
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sonshine4u
Chapter Guru
1205 Posts
April
New Prague
MN
USA
1205 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2010 : 10:57:51 AM
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What if there was a permanent sticky on the barter/swap forum that outlined the general rules of barters/swaps, how it all works, how you can keep track of your own swaps you've signed up for (binder, file box etc...), how you can subscribe to the topic to keep up with all the action on your swap(s), guidelines for setting up a swap (with examples of rules and what not), perhaps something in there about integrity and farmgirl spirit etc..
This way, any newbies to bartering/swapping will get an understanding how it all works and what is expected of them and will be a refresher/reminder to the rest of us and a resource for when you want to set a swap or barter up yourself.
I don't think we need to have a naughty and nice list posted. That'll just create more issues. I do think that if there is someone that is repeatedly abusing the system, that they should be reported to the moderator just like you would if someone was using inappropriate language or if they were behaving really rudely on forums etc. Obviously we don't want to go on a witch hunt, but it sounds as if there are a few that are creating havoc that need to be held accountable. I think there's nothing wrong with holding fellow farmgirls accountable.
Playing in the Sonshine
http://www.homesteadblogger.com/sonshine4u |
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EastTXFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
731 Posts
Victoria
Farmgirl #549
TX
USA
731 Posts |
Posted - Jan 19 2010 : 6:21:00 PM
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I gree April. I don't know how to get a permanent sticky posted but I think it is a great idea.
Begin each morning with a song in your heart. |
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lilwing
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Brooke
Fulshear
Texas
USA
1403 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2010 : 6:00:02 PM
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You probably have to contact Carol or Brian or Gabe at MJF for the sticky??
Yes, I am starting to realize I think I might not be getting my end of the swap that I was REALLY REALLY looking forward to and I just hope she is okay really. But I was looking so forward to it too. I hope I hear from her. :-/ I won't let that stop me from doing swaps and barters though.
~~~~
Proud Farmgirl #775
http://maggielousdaughter.blogspot.com
(in construction!)
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Roxy7
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Robin
Denver
CO
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2010 : 09:47:08 AM
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| Bumping for Inge. |
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EastTXFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
731 Posts
Victoria
Farmgirl #549
TX
USA
731 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2010 : 6:25:22 PM
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Thank you for bumping Robin. I think this subject needs to surface ever so often just as a reminder.
Begin each morning with a song in your heart. |
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khartquilt
True Blue Farmgirl
1176 Posts
USA
1176 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2010 : 6:08:35 PM
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I agree. Not knowing if the item you sent out got to its new home is so frustrating. Just a simple "received your package" is all that is needed.
Or, if you have not received your package, a note to the host should be sent.
Kathy H
Farmgirl Sister #81
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world..." (anomymous)
http://khartquilt.blogspot.com |
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JojoNH
True Blue Farmgirl
1984 Posts
Joanna
Dunbarton
New Hampshire
USA
1984 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2010 : 12:31:16 PM
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First off, let me say right up front I am an offender! 
I was seriously injured and could not complete my many swaps for several months. As noted on the boards I am back, much better and getting what I owe to my swap partners as quickly as I can.
That being said, Bartering and Swapping are one of the many things we look forward to taking part in. No one likes to be left out and everyone likes to be acknowledged for their efforts.
We need to simply be better at our communications with each other. Knowing what happened in my life was a rarity for sure, I am following through and so far, the folks I owe a swap to have been very generous with their forgiveness. I thank each of you for that and count my blessings that you understand.
Now I feel that I need to "earn back your trust" I will not take on more than I can handle, I will keep in touch with my Sister to let her know how I am coming along on the project and most of all, I will not take it to heart if someone does not follow through with me. After all, life is a journey with it's many ups and downs. My one hope is that my end of a swap be fulfilled and hope it brings joy to the person who received it.
This does not excuse those who fell short, you too need to make amends with your fellow Sisters. Their is something to be said for those who "make things right". If we suddenly start adding names to a muck list or do some type of rating system, well we have missed out on what it is to be Farmgirls at Heart! I believe we can all do better and simply need to ask ourselves, can I follow through on this or should I wait for the next opportunity? If you decide you can do this and something happens, just communicate with your partner so they are not left out there wondering what has happened.
I am so sorry to those I left wondering. I did try to communicate with you but feel I could have done better than I did. So to all of you I sincerely apologize and promise to do better in the future.
Joanna #566
JojoNH
http://CountryCents.Blogspot.com
http://Twitter.com/Eastwooddesigns |
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EastTXFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
731 Posts
Victoria
Farmgirl #549
TX
USA
731 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2010 : 06:16:07 AM
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Joanna that is very touching and much appreciated. It is very cleansing to "make things right" as you said. But what is most touching about your post is that many times we think others should just overlook our short comings and move on. Sometimes that does not happen right away. Even in a situation like yours, that was unavoidable, doubt works its way into our heads and it is a earn back your trust kind of thing. To acknowledge that is (for lack of a better word) strong of you. I have seen too many farmgirls just leave after not fulfilling a number of swaps. That is not what anyone wants. I think sometimes we get over burdened, for whatever reason, and feel it is easier to go away than to take a stand as you have. You laid it out, you took action, and you realize that somethings could have been done differently. I'm glad you had the courage to come back and make things right and to post your story. I hope it will be an encouragement for others.
Begin each morning with a song in your heart. |
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solilly
True Blue Farmgirl
726 Posts
Lillian
Williamsburg
Virginia
USA
726 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2010 : 11:36:40 AM
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As a new sister less then one month I am very sad to see all the bad things. I have only seen good up to this point. I had thought I had found people that were from the old way of life and there word was as good as gold. I know that being new and doing the ss I had to find the rules and the whats that were expected. I do know that like me when receiving the email all they had to do was email for info. That to me is not a hard thing to do. I do agree if people do not do their part they should be marked and sent out of the sister hood. For in truth they are not a sister to anyone when not doing there part. Sorry to all that have been hurt. Very good for Joanna and her renewing of her self. The problem still seams to be people who do not know how to stop when they are in to deep or of people not good on their word. Those are the ones who after falling again and again should be sent on there way.Lilly
learning the life I always wanted. |
Edited by - solilly on Feb 02 2010 11:46:56 AM |
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Wende
True Blue Farmgirl
353 Posts
WENDE
Kansas City
Missouri
USA
353 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2010 : 2:25:10 PM
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Well, I am still looking forward to the secret santa year long swap.
I have two packages to go out rigtht now because I do not want to miss my secret santa birthday or valentines day. Still waiting for my first package.
Also, it doesn't hurt to reply that your received a package.
Wende
You know your a Farm Girl when...
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EastTXFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
731 Posts
Victoria
Farmgirl #549
TX
USA
731 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2010 : 4:44:22 PM
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Wende you may want to make contact with Brenda on the Secret Santa thing. You are not the only one that has not received their first gift there may need to be some reassigning but she won't know until you contact her. Lillian in general we are people from the old way of life but don't think for a minute that there were not a few even back then that weren't completely up to snuff. This thread was started as a reminder to those participating in swaps and barters that we need to respect others and ourselves. There are issues that can not be avoided. I believe that most of the time it is not a matter of out to dupe someone but a matter of it doesn't seem that important. When we have things come up in life we know that we should contact those closest to us (mom, dad, kids, ...) but we may not think to let the farmgirls that watch for us, that enjoy reading our posts, that care, know that something is going on. I can say from experiencing this with CabinPrincess/Melody June. We had bartered together, we had been in swaps together, we live less than 50 miles from each other. I even got to meet her one day. Then she was gone. No word. No return emails. Nothing. I worry about her. I just want to know that she is ok. But beyond that Lillian don't let this issue get you down. There are many many wonderful ladies on this site and many many wonderful swaps and barters to be had.
Begin each morning with a song in your heart. |
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JojoNH
True Blue Farmgirl
1984 Posts
Joanna
Dunbarton
New Hampshire
USA
1984 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2010 : 09:47:13 AM
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Thank you for all the kind words and the emails too!
One thing that comes to mind at the moment, is how my Nana handled these types of situations. She always said " It is better to make amends and earn back the trust of others rather than turn your back to start anew with the weight of guilt on your shoulders"
We are just like our children. If they did something like this, we would encourage them to own up to the problem, reach out to make it right and work hard to earn back the trust that was once freely given to them. We would no more banish a misbehaving child for their faults ( think terrible 2's and the teen years ) and I hope and pray we would not banish a Sister who has fallen short either. This is when our faith is tested most, to reach out to those who have done us wrong, teach them the power in forgiveness and help them start down the path to make things right again. After all, they are our Sisters!
So, to those who owe something to someone, please drop them an email and put them on your priority list to finish what you started. You will feel better about yourself, not to mention not carrying the burden of guilt on your shoulders. Together we can grow and do better, after all, life is but a journey with lessons to be learned along the way. Some are tougher than others.
Joanna #566
JojoNH
http://CountryCents.Blogspot.com
http://Twitter.com/Eastwooddesigns |
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delicia
True Blue Farmgirl
917 Posts
delicia
cincinnati
ohio
USA
917 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2010 : 1:25:47 PM
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| I applaud Joanna for taking the high road and remedying the situation on her end. Hopefully the people who did not keep up their end will also do the right thing and make contact with the sister that they need to. It is hard because sometimes life get's in the way but, just remember the Golden Rule and keep your commitments. |
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Wende
True Blue Farmgirl
353 Posts
WENDE
Kansas City
Missouri
USA
353 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2010 : 3:44:53 PM
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Also, my secret sister is a long distance from me and the postage is very high.
The last one I sent cost me double what I put in it. I tend to OVER DO things.
But, I understand when LIFE HAPPENS WHEN YOUR MAKING PLANS !! Things come up.
Waitng for snow here.. hope everyone is well and wonderful.
Wende
You know your a Farm Girl when...
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LakeOntarioFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
933 Posts
Brenda
North Rose
NY
USA
933 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2010 : 04:20:17 AM
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Bump :)
Brenda
FarmGirl # 711
Nothing we achieve in this world is achieved alone. It is always achieved with others teaching us along the way. Lee J. Colan
http://theviewfromhere-brenda.blogspot.com/ |
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sewsweet
True Blue Farmgirl
172 Posts
Carol
Canada
172 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2010 : 09:28:06 AM
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I agree. Anyone who hasn't followed through on their barters or swaps shouldn't feel that the damage is irreparable. All it takes is for that person to contact the party that they wronged and make tangible amends. It is not enough to say, "I'll get back to you someday" and ignore your commitments. It means either following through on the trade, or...returning the item(s) they received to the person they didn't complete the barter with. But to ignore their obligation and not communicate just creates negativity all around: the person who was burnt by the trade feels taken advantage of, and the person who did the burning feels guilt, and whether the burner realizes it or not, it will have an effect on how they think about themselves.
Just MHO. Please note that I am not in anyway referring to those who keep up communications with their swap partners and may just be delayed. I am referring to those who, after you've gone to the expense to ship an item, decide that they just haven't the time or means or the will to complete their swap. That's just unacceptable.
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Edited by - sewsweet on Feb 19 2010 12:11:26 PM |
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*Farmgirl Barter™: Swapping/barter subject that needs to be addressed |
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Swapping/barter subject that needs to be addressed
