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*Farmgirl Barter™:  what to do?  |
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nursekat424
True Blue Farmgirl
99 Posts
Crystal
Frazee
MN
USA
99 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 1:22:20 PM
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so, what do you do if you have bartered with someone, sent out your part and never recieved anything back, not even an email saying they recieved your package? i realize we all have conflicts, money issues, illness, etc. I have had trouble getting barters out myself- but i always try to keep the other party in the loop as to whats up and when i expect to ship. but what if you get no communication what so ever? so far i have emailed to see if they got it and see whats up, with no reply. just wondering how you ladies handle the situation.
my other thought is what if the same ppl are bartering with lots of ppl and not fulfilling their end to anyone? it's sad to think there are those out there who would be that way, i try to think the best of ppl, but we all know they are there.
i hate to "call out" ppl in a public way and name names or anything so what have you done, or would you do in this situation.
Hugs,
Crystal
#2218
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~Theodore Roosevelt
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britchickny
True Blue Farmgirl
1048 Posts
Angie
Port Orange
Florida
1048 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 1:33:26 PM
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Crystal, this is a subject you see on many forums and unfortunately happens all to often. I guess I would contact maybe 2 or 3 times privately and then forgive and move on. I don't think I would "call out" the person publically (although it makes us feel better) For all we know, the person is really sick, had a death in the family or something and the public post might hurt more than help. Yes, they might well be doing it to other's and those people will figure it out for themselves too.
It's not a perfect solution but these days, we have to choose our battles and I truly do believe that "what goes around-comes around"
ANGIE
"Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance" JUDE 1:2
http://www.pinkroomponderings.blogspot.com/
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 2:17:01 PM
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Crystal...I am in that situation right now with 3 different people on different swaps. You begin to know who just loves the thrill of
signing up and receiving but never does their part. I have a mental list right now of several farmgirls I will refuse to ever again swap with because the have a reputation of never following through. I will also not let these people on any of the swaps I hostess. I don't publicly call them out but I have emailed them privately...first trying to work toward a equitable resolve...giving them the benefit of the doubt that life happens and gets in the way sometimes. But after 3 or 4 times of them not following through as they told me they would...or when they stop answering their personal emails...I just write them off and don't go beyond that. I have been hostessing a large Swap for the last few months and I have literally spent hours trying to assage hurt feelings and prodding women to fulfill their commitments. We are just going to always have those women who get caught up in the excitement but never follow through. Sad but true. Hope this has helped a little.
blessings,
peggy
Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com
"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."
When I was a lonely wallflower, Jesus asked me to dance. Then he asked me to be happy, to be passionate, and to Be His! |
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Beverly Gill
True Blue Farmgirl
1114 Posts
Beverly
Marlborough
USA
1114 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 4:47:19 PM
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I have had pretty good luck----burned twice over 3 years----but it did hurt.
I am getting older----- I do my best to return the barter fairly soon afterwards---else I could forget. I for one would definitely want to know------I would apologize profusely and get the package out.
I know one barter I did rcently with the scholastics books...Robin never got her package. I am going to try my best toreplace it in October.
Beverly Gill
There's no place like home |
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Beverly Gill
True Blue Farmgirl
1114 Posts
Beverly
Marlborough
USA
1114 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 4:54:12 PM
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I meant to say I mailed it to her but she never got it.
Beverly
There's no place like home |
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HealingTouch
True Blue Farmgirl
3448 Posts
Darlene
Kunkletown
Pa
USA
3448 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 7:36:59 PM
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It has happened to me and I have chosen not to join most swaps. I host the quilt block swaps and you can't believe the people that sign up and don't follow through or send blocks that no one would ever be able to use. I finally had enough and decided to send
some back to the senders. The people that received them back were not happy but all the other girls sent me emails telling me how glad they were to have me do it. It costs alot of money and time to do the blocks and everyone deserves decent blocks just like they made. Go to my Pinwheel block swap and see what the rules are now. The last 2 swaps are the only 2 that have been completed by everyone and all the blocks are beautiful. I won't allow anyone in the swaps if they have failed to comply with the rules. These are to be fun swaps not to be hurtful to anyone. Our ornament swap that we do on the one forum was great until May and June. No ornaments yet and they even responded to my emails saying they knew they were on for those months. Can't figure it out. I don't want to either. If the ornaments aren't received I will tell the other remaining swappers to not send to them until they receive theirs. Keep watching the swaps and be careful where you sign up. Good Luck!
Be Blessed,
Darlene
Sister 1922
God first, everything else after!
When Satan's knocking at your door, just say "Jesus will you get that for me?"
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Edited by - HealingTouch on Jul 15 2011 7:39:00 PM |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 8:16:08 PM
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one of the things I do when I agree to a barter is I mail out my gift/barter/trade first with my address, I ask that they do not send me their address until they receive mine, that way if I am late which I was with the 1916 booklet, no one is out anything until they get what i promised them. I still owe a corn cob jelly to a hen but husband got home on 2 week leave from Afghanistan so I haven't gotten it out but she is out nothing & will have a great surprise when it shows up hopefully next week since hubby leaves early in the morning.....yes it also hurts my feelings if I don't get things back but I have also learned these are things I would like but don't need so I am content with the fact I at least gave to someone else....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2011 : 2:16:49 PM
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I've been burned several times and have chosen not to barter anymore unless I know that it is someone that will follow through. I have thought at times that there should be a list here on the forum of those that don't follow through, maybe the idea of having your name on a "deadbeat list" sould be enough to keep the slackers from signing up.
Kathy |
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Debi Carr
True Blue Farmgirl
754 Posts
Debora
Centreville
Michigan
USA
754 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2011 : 3:20:58 PM
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I keep a card catalog of all the sisters I barter or do swaps with. I put their name,address,and what was swapped or bartered on an idex card. When I receive the item I mark it down , and the same if I don't. I just thought this would be a good way to keep track of all the farmgirls I swap with. And its always nice to have a reference of the ladies just in case I feel like sending a random gift or card.
Hugs,
Debi Carr #1983 |
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Bensgrandma
True Blue Farmgirl
228 Posts
Alexis
White Oak
PA
USA
228 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2011 : 4:55:22 PM
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I don't think I would call the person out publicly because as someone else stated they may have an emergency that they are dealing with. Recently, I posted some free things on craigslist and then ended up in the hospital with no way to communicate. When I finally got home I had some nice (and not so nice) replies. I explained that I had been suddenly taken ill and could not respond. I gave the items to the nice person.
Try contacting again in a couple of days and see what happens.
It is a shame that things like that happen. I am alway so trusting.
Alexis
http://www.etsy.com/shop/HugsandStitches
http://www.etsy.com/shop/ACharmingExperience |
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nursekat424
True Blue Farmgirl
99 Posts
Crystal
Frazee
MN
USA
99 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2011 : 5:04:43 PM
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hi everyone thanks for all the replies. i was thinking when i posted this it might be a way to open up the communication on this kind of thing. i love everyones suggestions and debi- i love your idea. i keep my email msgs about pending barters in a folder titled MJF. then when i'm done with the barter i delete them. but i really like your idea, i would love to be so organized. I'm working on it. maybe after kids are all grown and moved out- lol.
i dont think i could bring myself to start a "deadbeat list" even though @ times it would seem like a good idea, when i'm especially hurt. but i have been guilty of forgeting or taking longer than expected. the one i feel the worst about was the christmas matchbox swap- i totally misunderstood and thought they were for christmas, not christmas in july. i have all the little boxes done but never got them all filled in time. didnt realize i was mixed up untill like a week b4 they had to be mailed in. so i really understand when things happen or you think you mailed something out but didnt, or are like me and have issues getting to the post office on time (ever!!). i just HATE not knowing. especially not knowing if they recieved it or not. i mean theres even the chance that if i bartered with someone and they sent me a msg and said they had stuff happen and couldnt afford to fullfill their end, i would prob even say dont worry about it.
I think my biggest issue is and always will be communication. tell me whats up, dont leave me in the dark. I'd rather not recieve something at all from someone who updated me every so often than wait never here from someone and 3 months later something shows up in my mailbox. i hope this makes sense. anyhow, thanks for "listening" and all the replies back. i love having all of you to bounce ideas around with.
Hugs,
Crystal
#2218
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~Theodore Roosevelt
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2011 : 10:44:54 AM
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Ok I must say it's happened to me too, but thankfully I didn't "lose" anything.
What happened was I knew I would take longer then any one else (at least I thought!) as I am a slow stitcher compared to others. So I posted that I would like a partner that didn't mind how long I might take, any way another FG said she didn't mind she took long time too. Well, I finished my end, and I emailed her...I got a weird feeling so I decided to wait to send my end till she would tell me she was done with her end and was ready to send. A year later she tells me she just can't do her end of it. So I kept my end of it and used it for the next swap I signed up for. BUT, I learned! After that I never send mine till I hear from the other person they are ready to send theirs or have sent theirs. Cause as with my first swap it's happened a few more times (I know cause I have pillow cases around here that never got sent as the other person never kept in contact with me (even when I would email I was done with my end) and never sent their end.
So my advice don't send your end till you are pretty sure they are ready to or have sent their end.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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longbeachfox
True Blue Farmgirl
322 Posts
Mary
Long Beach
WA
USA
322 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2011 : 7:11:40 PM
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lI know how it feels, too my dear hens...
This is what helps me: I have an old journal and when I have established a trade with a farm girl, I write it in there. I write the date of the trade, what it is, what they want or are looking for. I send them my address and ask them for theirs. I write that in the journal, too...along with their email address. Once I have my end together, I drop them a note and tell them I am sending the trade. I note when I sent it. Then...when the trade arrives, I put it in the journal and make sure I write or email a thank you. I do try to send a little money if the postage is uneven (they are sending something heavier than mine). I have only had one trade go bad. I did email her two times with no reply. Yes, sometimes it would feel good to put the name out there, but I just can't do it. I just forgave her and moved on. The trade was heavy and I am out all that postage and the items, but I've done a lot of trades and only this one went bad. You know that old saying...what comes around...goes around. I believe it does.
Hugs, Mary
Farmgirl # 2532
With God...Nothing Is Impossible!
http://foxontherunarts.blogspot.com
www.etsy.com/shop/longbeachfox
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Jul 18 2011 : 10:09:18 PM
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I LOVE swaps...and as far as I know, I don't owe anyone anything. (If I do, please let me know). I also write done on a 3x5 card each girls info, when and what the swap was. Until the last Patriotic swap, I have never been let down. However, I also have to write down what swaps I'm in and when the deadline is because I'm not very organized and sometimes have difficulty keeping track. I would appreciate someone emailing me that I still owe you something. After that, I just let it go. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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nancypo
True Blue Farmgirl
362 Posts
nancy
boise
idaho
USA
362 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2011 : 11:02:40 PM
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Have you tried the local "yahoo freecycle" groups? You can give away things, but also post what you want, works well. I have done both- given away- sets of furniture, all kinds of stuff. I have also recieved all kinds of things- plants, shrubs, bedding, etc..
Be the change...
http://littlehomesteadinboise.blogspot.com/ |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Jul 22 2011 : 2:35:43 PM
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I feel so terrible, as I know I have been delayed in barters. I have always emailed or something to let people know what is going on, unless it is in swaps that I can not tell them or something. I am not sure what you can really do except hope for the best.
My husband's hours recently were cut bigtime and I figured it was better to swallow pride and share what was going on so those in my swaps would at least know the lowdown. Not that I am not trying, but that life took an unexpected turn. Also, if I can I email them. I try, but I wonder, maybe someone else doesn't care. That would be so sad.
hugs Jessie
"Wonder Woman hasn't got a cape, she just turned her apron around"
Farmgirl Sister #235 |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9735 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9735 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2011 : 11:04:12 AM
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I mail almost everything with delivery confirmation so at least I know they got it. Then I will usually keep emailing until I hear something....anything
I think everyone here expects and deserves the courtesy of getting a reply of some sort.
I, too, have often thought there should be a list of those who don't follow through. or at least some way of keeping them from signing up. If there is no accountability then this will continue to happen and it does hurt people who are taking people at their word. Is there nothing to be said for taking someone's word anymore? Call me harsh but, if someone is truly having trouble they will usually make some sort of contact.
farmgirl sister#43
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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Sue Feely
True Blue Farmgirl
1044 Posts
Sue
Buffalo
New York
USA
1044 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2011 : 11:51:24 AM
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I am the hostess for the secret sisters. Although I really love doing this, there are times when I just cannot believe people! Pegsmiles has taken over for me for this past round #10 as I have a ton of family things this summer, graduations of my own children and my daughter getting married (next week the 30th!); God bless Peggy for doing that!
Anyway, In August I will begin sign ups for round #11 of the secret sisters; with one catch, if you want to join in that round you must have a minimum of 100 posts on Mary Janes Farm forum! This is because, unfortunatley, if you look back, almost always the problem lies with the newbies! I think some ladies are so intrigued with MJF at first, then drop out into thin air, thus not following through with things they have signed up for!
It is unfortunate to have to do this but I believe things will have a better turnout for all involved! |
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Littleredd
True Blue Farmgirl
174 Posts
Patty
Norwich
NY
USA
174 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2011 : 4:41:21 PM
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I didn't read through all of these so maybe this is repetitive but on another site I'm a member of they keep a running list, locked by the mediator of people to watch out for. Now, seeing as we all seem to agree that stuff happens and we want to not call people out; perhaps we could keep a running tally of all the barters that DID go well. Is there someone who mediates the barters? Might we suggest that? Then if you don't see someones name on the 'good barter' list, you might ask around privately or think twice.
I know we don't want to offend others but truth is truth. It doesn't make me feel better simply to call people out, what makes me feel better is that they are being held accountable like adults should be and saving the hassle for the next person who comes along. People who are called out often change if you let them and in this case, it would obviously be a change for the better.
~`~`~`~`~`
A little Red, attempting to be The Fearless Farmgirl
www.fearlessfarmgirl.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Stimalano
Farmgirl Sister #2106 |
Edited by - Littleredd on Jul 25 2011 4:44:00 PM |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2011 : 4:52:00 PM
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Sue - I think that's a great idea to limit the secret sisters to people with 100 posts or more. I think you're right about MJF being really interesting to newbies so they sign up for a ton of stuff and then drop out.
Patty, I think you're right. The truth is the truth. I understand that people have issues that come up and I never have a problem with that as long as someone tells me "its late because...". I think that most people would be understanding of that. Life is life! What bugs me is when people don't contact you no matter how many times you try to contact them and then they never send their swap...and THEN you see them sign up again for another swap. I think there's a big difference, and we're all adult enough to know what it is! :)
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9735 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9735 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2011 : 7:09:40 PM
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Sue, I do agree with you on setting a certain number of posts but honestly the ones I have gotten burned on were not with the newbies. They were with those who sign up for almost every swap and then I notice they have a tendency to drop out a lot or stay in just don't ever send.
It's really a shame and I think because people get caught up in it and there are so many swaps going on all the time that sometimes they over extend themselves and can't keep up with it all. So instead of swallowing their pride and admitting they can't do it all, they just don't do anything.
I think it would take a lot for someone to have to mediate all the swaps that go on here. Very time consuming.
farmgirl sister#43
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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Debi Carr
True Blue Farmgirl
754 Posts
Debora
Centreville
Michigan
USA
754 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2011 : 7:23:15 PM
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I agree something should be done. But what about the people who do follow through with their end of the swaps (like me) that has less than 100 posts. I am one of the swappers that hasn't heard one thank you or any kind of reply from the secret sister I was assigned. I wasn't going to sign up for the next swap because of this. It looks like I'm not going to be eligible anyway. Now it has come to punishing the innocent. Maybe we should limit all of the swaps and barters to only those who pay their yearly membership dues. You know the ones who are assigned a number?
Sister #1983 |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2011 : 7:40:28 PM
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Deborah - I didn't mean to offend any of the newbies by agreeing with the "under 100" post mark. Sorry if it was taken that way. Of the swaps that I was in, the people I got burned with were the people who would sign up, have three posts under their belt, sign up for five different swaps, forget about all of them...and then disappear. I was just speaking from my experience. I'm sure there are people who are "newbies" who are responsible. :) Sorry about that. However, (and I said this back when I first joined the forum) this is the ONLY forum I have ever been a part of where people who have less that a certain number of posts or a membership of less than a certain time period were allowed to even participate in the swaps.
I'm sorry you haven't heard any "thank you" from your secret sister. How abouts a thanks from me for following through on being a secret sister and doing what you said you would do!!! :)
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2011 : 9:00:42 PM
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I also was a newbie I think my first swap as well. However, 100 messages aren't that hard to get on here. I have been on and off the message boards for years, sometimes going months with out posting. And as you can see I have thousands of posts, and I didn't even try!
You are almost to 100. You could probably get to 100 post by the end of the week with out trying.
That being said. I think it would be much shorter list to only include those with memberships. I personally can't afford a membership. There's memberships I would love to buy all over the net-Richard Simmons, I so miss being a member of his site, Sewing.PatternReviews.com, would love to be a member there, of course here, and many others. But, right now budget just doesn't include me having any online memberships. I can throw together some pillow cases or what not for swaps though cause I already have those supplies in my house! ;o)
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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LindaJo
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
Linda
Fargo
ND
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2011 : 3:52:55 PM
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i think if you get left out by someone and they are just having a problem, they will let you know. that has been my experience. i hadn't heard from one swapper and the hostess contacted her-she wrote a long explanation on the site about how she got sidetracked etc. now anyone would forgive that but i'd seen her on other swaps, hard to believe her then. maybe we should let the hostess know if someone is on the list and hasn't come thru, if the hostess gets enough of these on the same person then they can remove their name or contact them. i had one woman i did a swap with and never received a response or my item from her. i emailed her one last time and said something about she must not have liked what i sent. i got an email back telling me how much she loved it and wore it regularly. go figure.
Art cleans the dust of everyday life from the soul. Picasso |
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Acelady02
True Blue Farmgirl
1266 Posts
Penny
Washington
GA
USA
1266 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2011 : 5:16:22 PM
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I am a newbie and haven't quite figured out the swaps or barters yet but am very interested. But now I am a little discouraged. I haven't posted much and hate being lumped into a certain group. I'm sorry if people haven't followed through like they are suppose to but they will have to answer to a higher power one day for the way they have treated others. So in my eyes I believe to forgive and move on. Good luck everyone. I think I will just read the boards for a while...once I wanted to take part in the secret sister but now not sure. I hope I don't offend anyone, just want to express myself and how it may make other newbies feel. And like Magnolia Whisper I can't afford a membership right now either.
God gives Miracles to those who Believe, Courage to those with Faith, Hope to those who Dream, Love to those who Accept, & Forgiveness to those who Ask...
Keep Smiling! |
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*Farmgirl Barter™: what to do? |
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what to do?
