| Author |
Family Matters:  need help with new child  |
|
|
yf4life
Farmgirl in Training
14 Posts
Maree
Nine Mile Falls
WA
USA
14 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 28 2006 : 09:46:19 AM
|
Isaiah is delayed and will be in special ed. I don't have a lot of faith in the schol systems to best meet his needs. Because he is 6 1/2 and we are just getting him, I don't really know what hiis needs are. I know that at 5 1/2 years he had the vocab of an 18 month - 2 year old. Schooling has helped and he has come a long way. He also had little life experience as he was locked away all of the time. He had never seen fireworks before this year. All cats (lion, tiger, kittens) were cats etc. I would like some ideas that will help his brain to start to "recover" and start to really grow. I want him to be able to be stretched. I don't know how to go about this. He is a VERY active kids. His foster mom said she has never seen him stop moving except when he is sleeping. He also doen't have very good social skills. He had never been wround people other than his family. I would like ideas on nutritional support too. He has missed out on the things his body/brain need to grow properly.
Thanks for any help you can give,
Maree Koolstra |
|
|
DaisyFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
1646 Posts
Diane
Victoria
BC
Canada
1646 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2006 : 10:00:38 AM
|
I don't pretend to have any answers to help this little guy recover. He's probably suffering from sensory overload if he's been locked up...so many new sights, sounds, smells, etc., which would certainly explain his high activity level. BUT, somehow I get the feeling that he will do really well in the caring atmosphere of your home.
Best of luck to you and Isaiah, people like you Maree are special angels in my opinion.
Di
http://www.daisyfarm.blogspot.com |
 |
|
|
Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2006 : 10:03:20 AM
|
My youngest, who we adopted at 7 years old was very delayed and had especially delayed speech and social skills. He has come such a long way!! Our local shcool is very good and I make a point to be very involved and I think that it helps. I ask questions alot and have workbooks and things to work with him at home. REading together has really helped him alot. He wasn't even put into school until a year before we got him (first grade) and didn't know basic kindergarten skills. I have alot of faith in our local school, but not enough to count on them to do it all..I work with him alot. Social interaction with kids at a more normal level have helped alot too..as well as expecting more from him. If people treat him like he can't do things, he can't. I know all children are very different,but just being with them and working with them and loving them makes such a difference.
As far as nutrition, my kids are not picky eaters, but this youngest one lived on whatever was sold at 7-11 for most of his life. He loves things like hot dogs and nachos and shuns veggies. He has come a long way in that respect too. I don't give my kids sugary things, especially drinks and he has come to love many veggies and eats fruit all day. He drinks water, milk and sometimes fruit juice..never sodas, never candy. I think it has helped alot. I don't know how much I could help, but I do want you to know that you can make such a difference in this little guy's life. I see it every single day with my son. Good luck!!!
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
|
|
|
celebrate2727
True Blue Farmgirl
989 Posts
Beth
MJF
Farmgirl
989 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2006 : 10:14:10 AM
|
First Marlee- Let me say how amazing it is that you have opened your heart and home to this child. You are truely a blessing.
If Isaiah is overly active I would suggest to keep his body going with his brain. Hands on activities are great. Simple experiments are fun for his "age level" . Try "will it sink or float?" or use his senses, "is it sticky, cold ,slimey, wet hard, smelly, etc..' Look up pre-school science projects or any pre-school project. Work on his language skills while you do these as well and you should see some quick improvement.
When it comes to the school- they have to meet his needs, so be on top of them. Get them to do a plan on exactly how they will help him and what different methods they will use. It might be helpful to send a notebook in every day so you can put down how things are going (did he sleep well, what was his mood this a.m. ) and then the teacher can respond how his school day went. Reinforcing the positive behavior is a great tool, try and stay focused on that and not dwell on the negative.
Nutrition plays a big role. Speak with a nutritionist and try and get him eating healthy brain food. I know blueberries are excellent, so is spinach.
hope this helps !
blessings
beth
Dreaming of Friday Night Lights
http://blissnblossomfarm.etsy.com
http://bethsblissnblossomfarm.blogspot.com
|
|
|
|
Phils Ann
True Blue Farmgirl
1095 Posts
Ann
Parsonsburg
Maryland
USA
1095 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2006 : 1:42:23 PM
|
Maree, I think every school has to evaluate and make an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) for students in Sp. Ed., and then update them. I wholeheartedly agree with Beth and Jenny's ideas. I will be praying for you and this very special child.
Love,
Ann
There is a Redeemer. |
|
|
|
Buttercup
True Blue Farmgirl
1433 Posts
Talitha
Vermont
USA
1433 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2006 : 5:10:57 PM
|
Maree,
I have a developly delayed son diagnossed at 18 months and is now 10. Before that I worked for the state of New York with mentally handicaped children and adults, so I know a little something  . First and foremost, trust your heart!!! All the therepy and help is wonderful, but the professionals can often go either WAYYY overboard and drive you and him mad OR do nothing and then you suffer. Please watch for this and make sure you have time to breath and he has time to just be a kid. All those therepies are so much work for them and they need down time and a break. Having said that, never underestimate the power of play!!! Have his needs mapped out and fill as many of them as you can with toys and games that fill the needs by encouraging him to do what he needs to do. Here is a website of a place that can help in identifing toys that help with certain areas that he may be lacking in. If you provide a safe and loving place for him to relax and play his way to fullfilling his needs, it will work wonders for him!
http://www.lekotek.org/resources/informationontoys/packets.asp
An IEP is of course a start, but you as a mom have to advocate for him and make sure he gets what he needs. This only comes from you knowing his needs and researching to find out what he needs and determining what you feel is right for him with the fact that he is a child kept in your mind always, and then go get them!!! The truth is with love and support, he may well come out of all these problems, but then he may not. There are so many therepies out there and so many ways you can help, but often you wont hear about it unless you talk to other moms like myself, or research it online. I am sure there are many things the school system can provide for him too just ask! If you have any other questions or need to just chat, please feel free to e-mail me!
I wish you the very best!! Remember they are so smart and have so much to offer!!! It is just that they approach the world different then most of us!! Hugz to you for taking on such a hard and yet rewarding journey!! I wish you all the very best!!!
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
|
|
|
Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2006 : 6:38:22 PM
|
I totally agree that an IEP is only a start..you have to really advocate for your kid and BE THERE as much as you can. I am at the school alot volunteering and asking questions and making sure my little guy (and my other kids too) are getting everything they need. Alot of times the spec. ed/resource teacher hasn't understood something about Dalton that I have been able to explain..and that makes it easier for both of them. I send alot of notes with him to school too.
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
|
|
|
frannie
True Blue Farmgirl
2246 Posts
fran
bonham
texas
USA
2246 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2006 : 7:31:36 PM
|
first, i must say as an adult that was adopted as a child i am still in awe of people who adopt infants and children.my experiences as an adopted child were great and i had 2 wonderful parents and a wonderful sister. none of us were biologically related but we were a family.
i do have some experience working with infants and children in the school system as an occupational therapist(i'm retired now).
first, i think all the advice i see here from the moms is right on. as a therapist, i was lucky if i really got hands on with the kids and i dont think that has gotten better since i quite working with children.
what i would like to tell you as a therapist, mom and grandma(one of my grandchildren has oral apraxia and doesnot speak and receives therapy) we dont really know when a childs brain stops laying down neurons or stops having the potential to improve. i was taught the arbitrary age of 8, but read recently it may be as old as 12.(of course i want to believe that my brain can still improve at 55)
that of course means that we have the ability to improve the potential of the child through activities or input or "play".
in the school setting, a child who is busy or active may not be what the teacher has in mind, but i really believe that children know intuitively what they need, and in fact we do know that walking and movement stimulate the part of the brain that allows us to have language, so when your son is busy or active he is really perhaps providing his own therapy to improve his language areas.
in general, i think play that involves movement, and as many senses as possible are the best kind of therapy for these youngsters.
let me say also that i believe the greatest hinderance to a childs developement is stress or anxiety. they like all of us just want to feel safe and loved...and when their environment doesnt support that feeling all of their performance and potential diminishes.
as a therapist, i knew that i had the potential to make a difference in someones life....
but that is nothing compared to the difference that you and your family will bring to this young man. stand up for what he needs, and question whatever experts you want to question, because you are the expert on him....and above all just be his mom. regardless of what the world tells us, it is still the most important job in the world.
if you have any questions about therapy, behaviour or developement, please email me or ask on a post. i would love to help in that way....but never underestimate the person who is most important in his life and who really knows in her own heart the questions....and the answers.
i'll be thinking of you guys,
fran |
|
|
|
Buttercup
True Blue Farmgirl
1433 Posts
Talitha
Vermont
USA
1433 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2006 : 9:45:32 PM
|
I was in a hurry before and did not get a chance to thourghly read everyones post, But Aunt Jenny is RIGHT on!!! Expect exactly what you would from someone his mental age (ie my son functions at half his chronilogical age so I treat him as a 5 yr old as to what I expect including chores and all etc),but don't restrict it to that because in some areas he may outshine that grouping. If you expect nothing, that is what you will get! I fully agree with having them interact with others who are not handicaped or challanged as much as possible, then they know how they can be and it is much easier for them to pick it up! And YESSSS Aunt Jenny so funny, I did the same! For the first 2 years of his school program I worked as an aide in his classroom and was right there and had a great relationship with his teachers and therapist!! If you can do this it is a great way to know what is going on. I also keep a journal where the teacher and I comunicate daily. Often it is very short, but it allows us to communicate and know what is going on on both sides of his life so we can be a team and better help him. And as everyone has already put so wonderfully, love him and trust your heart!!!!
Hugz!!!
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
|
|
|
katiedid
True Blue Farmgirl
601 Posts
Kate
West Jordan
Utah
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2006 : 9:47:13 PM
|
I have a cousin who lives just down the street, two of her three children have special needs/delays.
She just got her Master's Degree in Education, with an emphaisis on sensory integration! I know she has a website...with great links and info...Let me find it.
Love and light to you, thank you for loving and nurturing this child.
Kate |
|
|
|
bboopster
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Betty Jo
West Bend
Wisconsin
USA
1140 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2006 : 11:33:47 AM
|
Maree welcome to the world I live in. I entered the world of delayed children through adoption 15 years ago. I as a single mom adopted 2 children who were delayed and along with my 3 natural children we all went through a learning curve that there are no instruction manuals for. When I was not satisfied with what was going on at school I took a job at the school in the special ed department and was there for 10 years and have just recently taken a job as a group home mangers where 3 adult delayed women live. The best advice I can give you is to be involved as often as possiable. Look into goverment services that are offerd in your area. He may have services through foster care but they are usally very mimumal as funding does not allow alot. But if you get involved you can get more services. Try the local clubs like the Lion, or ladies clubs to see if they will help with funding for additional services. YMCA's are a get place to explore. He is entiled to an equal and free education through the public school. Free and Equal are the key words. In the district I worked for we paid out 100s of 1000s of dollars to educate those students that our physical bulding could not educate. But the parents had to fight. You should be able to find free a Parent Student advocate through social services or the school. Finding one outside of the school I have found to be better. They work harder and are not attached to the school district politics. Be careful on how you introduce him to the world around him. I found out the hard way when I toke my bunch to Disney World. Bad move they had never even been to a county fair or on an escalator in a mall. To this day they will tell you how scared they were at Disney World. I didn't know any better. We then took a step back and started small. One baby step at a time. 1 small adventure at a time. Be patiant with his progress. It took my one son 368 days of being reminded to turn on the dining room light to eat breakfast. But he was so worried about his food (never had enough as a baby) that he would eat in the complete dark. Every morning I would remind him that he need to turn the light on and then have him do it. You can not imagine my surprize on day when I came into the room and the light was on and there he was eating his breakfast. He looked up and said "I turn the lite on mom." I wrote lists for him as he got older for morning routines and the such. One instruction at a time. You needed the light on to see as the room had no windows. Your biggest hurdle will be society and their uneducated views. I fight every day for my ladies in the groupo home as I did my kids, to get them equal experences for their life. Surround yourself with organizations that are diverse to all walks of life and try to eduacate the world we live in. People actually think that they can catch what ever disablity it is that he has. Most of all enjoy your adventure you will be blessed beyond your wildest dreams. The journey can sometimes be gruling but the rewards are two fold. God bless you and keep you in his grace. You are a wonderful person to care for him and he is so lucky to have you.
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
|
|
| |
Family Matters: need help with new child |
|
|
|
need help with new child
