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Across the Fence:  Elderly parents & paperwork  |
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magnoliakathy
True Blue Farmgirl
453 Posts
Kathryn
Magnolia
Texas
USA
453 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 23 2012 : 08:17:46 AM
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Farmgirls, my mother is reaching the end of her life and I just called every funeral home (3) in their little town to find out if she has prepaid arrangements, she has not known me for over 3 years and my Dad can't remember what they did or who they did it with. He has lost the keys to the safe deposit box, so I could not check there.
I know some of you have "difficult" parents like I do, but before you get to where I am today, ask and find out where all of the paperwork is at for the end of their lives, get powers of attorney now before it is too late (my Dad would not let my Mom give any of us kids POA or do one for himself). Privacy laws will get in your way if you don't have the necessary information.
I did find the funeral home and will be going this week with my Dad in tow (hopefull, he will cooperate), to see what they can/will tell me before we need their services.
Also, now is the time to write down/record all of your parent's stories about their lives,your childhood,and any medical problems in the families. We kept putting it off and now it is too late.
Good luck to all of you.
When you free your mind your heart can fly. Farmgirl # 714, |
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rphelps4
True Blue Farmgirl
620 Posts
roxanna
westport
indiana
USA
620 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2012 : 08:27:27 AM
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| I don't mean for the to sound uncaring, but maybe you need to have your father tested to see if he is able to make his own decisions for himself and your mother, if he isn't then you would have the paperwork for someone else to make the decisions, and someone could become the POA. Social service directors at nursing homes a lot of times can be very helpful. Good luck, I see this kind of thing at work all the time. Roxanna |
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crittergranny
True Blue Farmgirl
1096 Posts
Laura
Lindrith
NM
USA
1096 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2012 : 08:33:18 AM
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Prayers to you Kathryn. This type of thing can be so difficult even when everything is in order. I'm sorry you are going through this.
Laura
Horse poor in the boonies.
www.nmbarrelhorses.com |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2012 : 08:50:51 AM
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Prayers to you and your parents.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Emily Anna
True Blue Farmgirl
863 Posts
Emily
Fort Atkinson
WI
USA
863 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2012 : 12:47:30 PM
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Kathryn, so sorry you are going through this. It's tough enough losing parents, but then to have to be in charge of the paperwork and finalities can just be very overwhelming.
My mom is alive and healthy (both my parents are) but she is in the process of getting everything in order for both her and my uncle that lives with her who is partially disabled. I have two brothers, but both of them live out on the west coast, so when my parents and possibly my uncle pass (God willing not for a long time!) it will be me that has to take care of what needs to be taken care of. Very thankful my mom is getting everything in order now.
I will be thinking of you and praying that you are able to find all of the information you need.
Emily |
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2012 : 5:42:36 PM
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If you take your dad to the bank and talk to the manager about the lost safe deposit keys they will arrange to drill out the lock so you can have access. Used to work at a bank and saw it done a few times because of lost keys. You will need your dad there so he can sign the required papers.
Kathy |
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2012 : 7:30:15 PM
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Oh Kathryn, my heart goes out to you. I just went thru some of this with my Dad. The one thing nobody ever told me and has impacted my life is that the will (in Florida) has to be registared by the court within 10 days of death. How was I supposed to know that? Will be keeping you in prayer. Hugs, Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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crittergranny
True Blue Farmgirl
1096 Posts
Laura
Lindrith
NM
USA
1096 Posts |
Posted - Jul 24 2012 : 10:57:08 AM
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I agree with Kathy, It's a good idea to take your Dad down to the bank and get it straightened out. If he balks the first time you talk to him about it just wait a couple of days and gently ask him again. I know it is very hard but be strong sweetie. I had to do it with my dad for 15 years. He might get cranky at you but he loves you and he will get over it and see you are just trying to help.
Laura
Horse poor in the boonies.
www.nmbarrelhorses.com |
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Farmer Judy
True Blue Farmgirl
433 Posts
Judy
North Aurora
IL
USA
433 Posts |
Posted - Jul 24 2012 : 1:00:17 PM
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Kathy, I have been in your shoes and it is not fun. I am praying for you and your family that everything can go smoother and that some semblance of acceptance and calm will be with you thru all of this. I have lost both of my parents and had no idea where to find anything, it all worked out alright and things ended up taking care of themselves.
God bless,
Judy
Farmgirl #3666
Born a city girl but a farm girl at heart!
http://farmtimes.blogspot.com/ |
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Across the Fence: Elderly parents & paperwork |
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Elderly parents & paperwork
