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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  Daughter's Relationship  |
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ptroupe
True Blue Farmgirl
1752 Posts
Portia
Johnson City
NY
USA
1752 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 5:33:26 PM
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I feel kind of strange asking for prayers for this but knew you gals would understand. My 20 year old college daughter had her first boyfriend this summer. They clicked to infinity and beyond! After 6 weeks, he decided he was rushing it and wanted to be friends. He was coming out of a relationship that lasted three years and was engaged to this person. Maybe he thought it was too fast but mothers know when daughters belong with someone. His mother agrees. To make a long story short some so called friends of his essentially caused them to stay apart. He refuses to believe that these so called friends would do him dirty. Me, being over protective and fed a bunch of lies, spoke to him. Nicely, but nonetheless, opened my big mouth. Of course, he thinks these friends are truthful but as my grown son says, "Sometimes you hang on to people you know are not really true friends because they are better than no friends." I suppose that is true. His mother even agrees that these so called friends are trouble. I apologized weeks ago and he has not responded to me or my daughter. He even caused his mom to stop meeting me for coffee because he thought we were being nosy. My daughter is brave and putting up a good front but is so miserable without him. I think he was scared by how much he cared for my daughter, too. They are both young and not ready for marriage but I pray that he will give her another chance. Each one wants the other to make the first move! They are both good Christians. I am heart broken for them and pray that with time he will realize what my daughter means to him and come back. My husband and son think he will but that it is going to take some time....maybe quite a while. Thanks for letting me vent. This keeps me up at night. Any opinions? Love you gals.
Wishing for the country life! |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7523 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7523 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 9:36:56 PM
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Hi Portia
I will put your daughter and her boyfriend in my prayers that they will get back together and try it again. They probably should talk things over before jumping into it again then they can be more sure that they want to get back together again or not.
This does give him time to think too. Maybe a friend of someone could arrange an accidental meeting for them some day without them knowing it because sometimes waiting for someone to do the first move never comes about.
Any way I will be praying for you all.
blessings
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
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ptroupe
True Blue Farmgirl
1752 Posts
Portia
Johnson City
NY
USA
1752 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 9:50:00 PM
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Thank you, Darlene.
Portia
Wishing for the country life! |
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3919 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3919 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 11:36:13 PM
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When I first met my DH, we clicked right away. During the first three weeks he broke up with me three times. After the third time, I washed my hands of him and tried, without success, to find someone else. I failed. I had other fish frying and I put him out of my mind. A little over a year later he called me and said he wanted me back. I told him he would have to woo and win me this time. I had been hurt and I said I would not go through that again. We dated. We shared interests and secrets. We became friends. That was ten years ago.
Time mends all hurts. It is now up to them.
Marie, Sister #5142
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7523 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7523 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2013 : 10:32:16 AM
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Marie,
I love this.
What a lovely way to for it to end as dating to marriage.
Congratulations on your 10 years.
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2013 : 11:36:29 AM
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Portia,
I am keeping your daughter and this young man in prayer. Maybe time apart is what the Lord wants for them to grow closer to Him and seek His will. Who knows, He may just be working on their hearts and preparing them for each other :)
Farmgirl Sister #5392
By His Grace, For His Glory
~Sharon
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ptroupe
True Blue Farmgirl
1752 Posts
Portia
Johnson City
NY
USA
1752 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2013 : 12:12:08 PM
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Thank you, Sharon and Marie. Thank you all for your prayers. I think they are both trying to pretend they don't feel strongly for each other.
Hugs,
Portia
Wishing for the country life! |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2013 : 05:51:05 AM
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I'm praying, too, Portia. I think Sharon hit the nail on the head - I was thinking the exact same thing. :) Everything will be all right in His time, for His timing is perfect! We wouldn't want it any other way! I was thinking, too, that maybe the Lord is working on this young man's heart to remove the weeds that choke his life. Sometimes we have to see things the way they actually are before we can believe it, you know? If the weeds remain, they could choke his relationship with your daughter. That's not something she should have to contend with - the "kids" should be surrounded by loving, supportive family and friends rather than people who bring down, pull apart and destroy. Maybe part of the reason for this time is for his eyes to be open so he will clean house to make plenty of room for the fullness of love to reside. Ultimately, we must remember: if God wills it, so shall it be! :) (c.f. James 4:15)
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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ptroupe
True Blue Farmgirl
1752 Posts
Portia
Johnson City
NY
USA
1752 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2013 : 2:47:19 PM
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Thank you, Nini, for those kind and true words. You are correct in that "weeds" can destroy and my first prayer for him is that his "weeds" get out of the picture. Then, and only then, will he be able to grasp what he is missing. And, I know it will take time.
Hugs,
Portia
Wishing for the country life! |
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AnnieinIdaho
True Blue Farmgirl
437 Posts
Annie
ID
USA
437 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2013 : 11:45:26 PM
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Hi Portia,
One of my psychiatrist friends and my social worker sister have both commented that in today's world in the United States, boys do not become true adults (developing gestalt, identity, and life skills to be able to be a partner that can stand on his own as a man) until age 30. It just has to do with the rapid changes in society, technology, and more difficulty in be coming grounded. In order to be able to support oneself and make their way in life it takes much longer to become educated and developed in a career to be able to take on the responsibility of adding someone to enrich your life. It just sounds like it is too much pressure for him at this time. He is asking to find himself and his path for development without being tied to anyone. He must learn to stand alone first and then when ready, he will come back to the one he knows would be a great gal to share in the living. He is too young now to become enmeshed with a girlfriend and her family. We can never see around the corner, but I do know that true faith just lets life unfold and gives those who are trying to ask for time without a commitment to become a man your blessing and polite distance. Best to you all now. There is always grief in letting go. Annie
"The turnings of life seldom show a sign-post; or rather, though the sign is always there, it is usually placed some distance back, like the notices that give warning of a bad hill or a level railway-crossing." Edith Wharton, 1913 from 'The Custom of the Country'. |
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ptroupe
True Blue Farmgirl
1752 Posts
Portia
Johnson City
NY
USA
1752 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2013 : 08:11:58 AM
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Thank you, Annie, for these meaningful words. You are correct in that he is too young at this time to know what he wants and so is my daughter. I truly believe that they love each other but need time and distance as well. She is in college and he is in the Army and is uncertain as whether he wants to continue there. Only time and God will tell. Thank you for your prayers.
Hugs,
Portia
Wishing for the country life! |
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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: Daughter's Relationship |
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Daughter's Relationship
