| Author |
Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  Off The Grid  |
|
Ladybek9756
True Blue Farmgirl
882 Posts
Rebecca
Linneus
Maine
USA
882 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 21 2013 : 2:31:43 PM
|
September 1, 2014.
We shall be off the grid starting tomorrow. Keep us in your prayers for safe keeping in the Lord's arms.
Becky
August 23, 2014.
Well Paul's sisters have finally convinced his father to through us out of the house we have been renting for the past 4 years. No money, we are on the street and they don't care. At least we have 3 weeks to make the move. I will be getting a PO Box on Monday. Hopefully with what little money we have managed to save we can find a cheap trailer to buy and put it on a lot until we can get on our feet. Pray that all works out for us please.
Becky
This is a very tough time for me and has been for the last five years. I married Paul five years ago this December. Paul is a wonderful husband and my problems does not lie with him but his family. We dated two and half years before we married. After seven and half years you would think that things would be different.
Before I go into the problem let me give you a little background information about me. I am not sure if this is the reason, I can only guess though. They only know that I was abandoned by my mother at the age of 5 and lived in the welfare system from then on. The truth be told my mother did not want me because of the sexual abuse I suffered at the hands of her boyfriend at the time whom later became her husband. I lived in over 18 foster homes before at the age of 14 going to live in the orphanage. I don’t know why so many homes, I can only guess. Who I am today is because of those times. I was never in one place long enough to develop any type of personality from those people. I instead took the values I felt were honorable and rejected those I didn’t. So in my eyes I am who I am because of what I believe in not influenced by anyone else. Now I don’t consider myself anything special, but I do consider myself a good person nonetheless. I hold honor and integrity in the highest esteem and have always tried to live my life according.
Now the problem. Paul’s sisters and his father have rejected me the whole time I have been married to Paul. Mostly his sisters in the beginning and now his father. They still to this day reject our marriage and have told Paul that if he wants back in the family he must divorce me first. This has been really hard on him as these people are his family. I have been there to pick him up after each rejection and he still held on to a belief that they would change. In the beginning of our marriage I sent birthday/anniversary and Christmas cards for two years. After that I closed the door to their existence. To me enough was enough. That is when Paul and I started to have problems but it only lasted about a year. He finally saw them as I did and realize that there was nothing he could do. Besides he loved me and did not want our marriage to end. Now his father rejected our existence when they were around and we were even told that while they were visiting to stay away. We were only allowed to come around when no one else was around. To me this was okay, I can give you some time as I have no one else here. This did not set well with me and I closed the door (so to speak) on the lot of them. I told Paul for the sake of our marriage to keep his family out of it. He did and we were okay. It still hurt but I did all that I could not to let him see that.
This year I felt from the Lord to open my heart and my home to heal the wounds of this family. I did. I sent an invitation to everyone expressing this desire. They as a slap in the face, told Paul and Paul alone that they would not come. I don’t know what I have done to them, since I have only been in their company 3 times over the last 7 ½ years and have not really spoke to them as they wouldn’t even give me the time of day. My heart is broken and what I don’t understand is WHY? I feel crushed today and for the first time the tears are falling and believe me I am not one to cry. I avoid that action at all costs. In my 7 years of knowing Paul this is only the 2nd time he has ever seen me cry and this is the first time I was not able to gain control of the tears.
Please pray for Paul as this is so hard for him. And pray for me to find my happiness back.
Thanks for letting me open my heart and cry on your shoulders, for I truly do not have anyone else.
Becky
May the stars carry your sadness away. May the flowers fill your heart with beauty, and may hope forever wipe away your tears. |
Edited by - Ladybek9756 on Sep 01 2014 11:29:31 AM |
|
|
jan49829
True Blue Farmgirl
2428 Posts
Janet
Winter Haven
Florida
USA
2428 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2013 : 3:50:14 PM
|
A big hug to you, Becky!!!! I know how hard that can be on you, and your marriage. My inlaws are almost the same way with me, also my hubby's kids. We do not see much of any of them, but they could not tear our marriage apart, if that is what they were trying to do. Both of us gave up on our families a long time ago. We are close and plan on staying that way. Try to ignore them as much as you can. Some day things may change. Maybe. I have been married for over 27 years, and still get the cold shoulder. I am glad you posted here. I hope it helped you to feel better. We are here for you, Hugs,
Janet
Farmgirl Sister #3340
http://hardatworkcrafts.blogspot.com
http://Jan49829.etsy.com
|
 |
|
|
hudsonsinaf
True Blue Farmgirl
3162 Posts
Shannon
Rozet
Wyoming
USA
3162 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2013 : 4:05:42 PM
|
| Oh Becky! (((HUGS))) to you!!!! My hubby's family first rejected e due to my religious beliefs... I was Methodist/Wesleyan when I married my hubby - and his dad's family adamant Catholics. I refused to convert to Catholocism, or raise my children in that manner. Add to that, my one sil thought I was marrying my hubby for his money - HA! Anyways, they came around as we had kids. Up to that point, however, the only thing that helped me to heal was to pray for THEM! At first, it was difficult foe me to do, through my anger, but as I prayed for them, my anger faded. Praying for you! |
|
|
|
ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13584 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13584 Posts |
|
|
Killarney
True Blue Farmgirl
4952 Posts
Connie
Arlington
TN
USA
4952 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2013 : 5:48:11 PM
|
Becky, Bless your heart! I too, as a young wife and Mother experienced that kind of treatment from my Mother-in-law. She finally gave up. I will certainly be praying for you and Paul. So sad that Paul's family treats you like this, knowing that he loves you, and you and Paul are a family. Jesus loves us all the same!!
Connie
Imagine....#3392 |
|
|
|
Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2013 : 9:13:18 PM
|
Becky,
I am so sorry that you and Paul are dealing with this hurt. I am praying for all hearts to surrender to the Lord and seek His will. I am also praying for healing and restoration for all relationships involved. I am sorry Becky and wish that I could give you a big hug right now. Hang in there, God can do anything!
Farmgirl Sister #5392
By His Grace, For His Glory
~Sharon
http://amerryheartjournal.blogspot.com/
|
|
|
|
Ladybek9756
True Blue Farmgirl
882 Posts
Rebecca
Linneus
Maine
USA
882 Posts |
Posted - Dec 22 2013 : 05:14:52 AM
|
Thank you for all your words of encouragement and prayers. I feel your hugs and they are helping. Janet, yes it did make me feel a little better for pouring my heart here. I find it hard to let others know when I'm broken and try to keep the image up that I am strong, but sometimes I am not. I know that this soon will pass and I will be better for it. I do trust in God and know that he will protect me and I just need to rely on his will and rest in that love for now. Again thank you all for your support.
Becky
May the stars carry your sadness away. May the flowers fill your heart with beauty, and may hope forever wipe away your tears. |
|
|
|
Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
Posted - Dec 22 2013 : 05:35:38 AM
|
Becky,
Cherish your relationship with your hubby, put this burden in God's hands, develop relationships with friends who can become your substitute family, and wait for the impossible to happen. You deserve happiness and until the timing is right you can beat yourself silly trying and it will not happen. I know you feel rejected and hurt, but if truth were known many women here probably have a similar story to tell. Hang in there and enjoy the blessings you do have. His family doesn't deserve so much attention. Don't waste your life wishing. Start focusing on what is right and let God do the rest. You have planted the seed with the family, maybe it just needs to simmer for a while. I can attest, Miracles do happen! In the meantime, chin up and have a Merry Christmas. |
|
|
|
churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3919 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3919 Posts |
Posted - Dec 22 2013 : 10:16:02 AM
|
Oh Becky. Your life seems to have been full of rejection until you met Paul. How lucky you are to have him.
The problem with his family is theirs not yours. I can see that you have tried and am happy that you have left them behind. I suggest you find a different family. If there is still time before the holidays, call the local military base and invite a couple soldiers over for dinner. See if you can get in touch with a local college or boarding school and offer dinner spots to a couple students who can't make it home. Or, go crazy! Pick up a homeless person and have them over. All of these people will appreciate being with you and your husband.
Remember, the best revenge is living well.
Marie, Sister #5142
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
|
|
|
Marcy
True Blue Farmgirl
2698 Posts
Marcy
Tiverton
Rhode Island
USA
2698 Posts |
Posted - Dec 23 2013 : 09:50:48 AM
|
Becky,
Oh, I am so sorry you are going through this. Your story brought tears to my eyes. I have never understood how some people could be so uncaring and mean (I just don't see what they get out of it)and what a horibble time of the year for them to be so. I hope you know that we are here and that we care. Will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
big hugs
much love
Marcy
Farmgirl #170
Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give...Eleanor Roosevelt
http://marcysworldofcreativity.blogspot.com/
https://www.etsy.com/shop/ImaginationsInClay?
|
Edited by - Marcy on Dec 23 2013 09:55:25 AM |
|
|
|
Ladybek9756
True Blue Farmgirl
882 Posts
Rebecca
Linneus
Maine
USA
882 Posts |
Posted - Dec 23 2013 : 1:16:49 PM
|
Today has been a good day for me. Today I spent from 5:30 this morning making cookies, candy & popcorn goodie baskets/boxes for Paul's office. This really helped to cheer me up. We just got back from delivering them. I want to thank those who submitted the Peppermint popcorn and Fried Egg Candy. They were such a big hit and I had so much fun making them today. This was great therapy for me. I also want to thank all of you for your continued support and prayers for me during this time. I am starting to find my happiness back and I know that by Christmas with everything that my husband is doing for me that I shall find it.
He gave me a earlier Christmas present. He had been working on a patio for me and he knows how much I love a fireplace and so he build a fire pit for it as well. I really have a wonderful husband.
Becky
May the stars carry your sadness away. May the flowers fill your heart with beauty, and may hope forever wipe away your tears. |
|
|
|
lovinRchickens
True Blue Farmgirl
3436 Posts
Kelly
Pipe Creek
Texas
USA
3436 Posts |
Posted - Dec 23 2013 : 3:31:11 PM
|
Becky
So glad you liked the peppermint popcorn. I am delighted most by you having a good day. I think your wonderful DH has made such wonderful things for you.
Farmgirl #5111
Blessings
~Kelly~ |
|
|
|
Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 06:48:00 AM
|
| You have the most important thing on earth....... a loving husband, feel cherished and blessed. Some don't have the luxury of a caring husband or for that matter a husband at all. Good for you. Take care, treat yourself special and have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. YOU DESERVE IT!!!!!! |
|
|
|
nndairy
True Blue Farmgirl
3020 Posts
Heather
Wapakoneta
Ohio
USA
3020 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2013 : 11:49:32 AM
|
Becky,
It's so hard dealing with the pain of rejection. I will be praying for you and Paul. I hope you had a great Christmas and that many blessings come your way in the new year.
Big hug,
Heather
Farmgirl Sister #4701
http://nndairy.blogspot.com/
|
|
|
|
Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2013 : 09:45:29 AM
|
Becky - Sending you lots of love, and lifting you and Paul up in prayer. Hugs to you, sister - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
|
|
|
|
hudsonsinaf
True Blue Farmgirl
3162 Posts
Shannon
Rozet
Wyoming
USA
3162 Posts |
|
|
Ladybek9756
True Blue Farmgirl
882 Posts
Rebecca
Linneus
Maine
USA
882 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2013 : 3:39:18 PM
|
Shannon,
My husband went out of his way to really make Christmas day special. We had decided to make everything for Christmas and the only things purchased were the items that went into all of our stockings. He made me a boat to sit on the table to hold our salt and pepper set. It really is beautiful. Then we spent the day watching movies, playing games and talking. Over all the day was good. Today I feel a little sad, but over all much better. The problem lies with the fact that we live right across the street from his parents and we see and feel the rejection every time his sisters come to visit and his father tells us to stay away. This year we closed off the front of the house and mostly stayed out back and it was a better holiday. I know that in time things will get easier for us. We both feel more at peace this year than we had in the past. I have 9 more semesters in college and 4 at the upmost if I only go for the BA and bypass the MA. I am just going one day at a time and praying that each day will get easier as we move forwards. Thank you for asking and everyone's prayers for me. You will never know just how much they mean to me. I hope everyone had a beautiful Christmas and a wonderful new year.
Becky
May the stars carry your sadness away. May the flowers fill your heart with beauty, and may hope forever wipe away your tears. |
|
|
|
birdie71
True Blue Farmgirl
254 Posts
Robin
Glendale
Arizona
USA
254 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2014 : 09:01:04 AM
|
I am praying for you! ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
Robin
Farmgirl Sister #1301
Desert rat with a Rocky Mountain high farming in the Sonoran desert!
my mama's (ceejay48) craftiness ~ www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com
my daddy's craftiness ~ www.aspenforge.com |
|
|
|
Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2014 : 11:37:26 AM
|
Hey Becky!
I'm glad to hear that Christmas was nice. Your honey sounds like a true sweetheart :) I am still lifting you and the whole family up in prayer.
Farmgirl Sister #5392
By His Grace, For His Glory
~Sharon
http://amerryheartjournal.blogspot.com/
|
|
|
|
auntsmelly
True Blue Farmgirl
559 Posts
Jenny
Pitman
NJ
USA
559 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2014 : 07:57:27 AM
|
Hello Becky,
I just read your post, as I've been off the site for the holidays.
I want you to know you are not alone. My husband's family is often hot and cold with me and we've been together over 20 years.
We don't always agree on things and I refuse to go against my religous beliefs or the way I am trying to raise our daughter. I have
learned to be myself and allow my husband time with his family without me if it makes him happy. He doesn't like the rift that is
sometimes there, but he supports me, as I support hm. Now that my daughter is 12 she can see things as they are and I always
keep the door open for convresation about it. I want her to know that I want her to have as many family relationships as she can.
I try to be neutral and loving no matter how I feel I am being treated. There are many times I cry alone and just pray that I am doing
the right thing. God loves me and I pray to Him that He gives me wisdom. It's all we can do sometimes.
Love and hugs to you. I'm here if you ever need to talk or vent or cry...
I would like to think that I will die a heroic death, but it's more likely I'll trip over my cat and choke on a spoonful of frosting.
Jenny, Blessed Farmgirl #4359 |
|
|
|
ptroupe
True Blue Farmgirl
1752 Posts
Portia
Johnson City
NY
USA
1752 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2014 : 09:37:45 AM
|
Becky, I just saw this post and am heart-broken that you have to go through something like this. Tears are streaming as I write this even though I have never had to go through anything like this. My heart goes out to you. Years ago, we had foster children and as you know, they usually come with baggage even though they are not to blame. You seem to have had more than your share. Aside from that, I think you are doing a remarkable job in dealing with these issues. First, you believe in God; second, you have a wonderful husband who loves you and sticks by you (even though it is bound to hurt him that his parents and family are this way---probably eats on him more than you realize), and thirdly, you made a move to end this craziness of theirs. Try to "let go and let God" because you have done everything you know to do. You humbled yourself and asked them into your fold, so the rest is on them. I know this is hard but just try to focus on your husband and finishing your schooling. Is their a possibility that you could move from across the street? I think this adds to everything: it is a BIG reminder of how they feel about you. My prayers are with you, my dear. May God richly bless you and your hubby. By the way, you don't mention whether or not his parents are Christian. If not, this is one reason, I believe. If so, then remember that they need to come to terms as well.
Hugs,
Portia
Wishing for the country life! |
|
|
|
Ladybek9756
True Blue Farmgirl
882 Posts
Rebecca
Linneus
Maine
USA
882 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2014 : 11:02:36 AM
|
Jenny thank you for your kind words. I am sorry that you have the same issue somewhat. I know how you feel and the frustration that it brings. I am keeping my chin up and as of today, I have so much on my plate with college that I don't have the time to think about it. This is a good thing. Besides I know that I have done what God wanted and feel released from the pain and sorrow that trying to get them to accept me brings.
Portia, I was glad to read that you took in children and realize that some of the baggage they bring in is not always their fault. So often I tried to fit in but the homes I was in never wanted me for anything more than a worker for them. I do realize that this hurts my husband more because they have treated his wife this way. He just doesn't understand how they could be so rude to someone they don't even know. He also knows that all I have ever wanted was a family and he is unable to fulfill that dream of mine. That is why pretty much these past five years I have said very little about the pain I feel from rejection. When God asked me to open my heart and home and repair the wombs of this family he was surprised because I have said I wanted nothing to do with them. When they still did not acknowledge that Paul was even married and I would always be excluded from the family and that the only way Paul could ever be a part of his family again was to divorce me, I broke down. It was the first time since my marriage that my husband had seen me cry about anything. The fact that I was unable to reel it back in and stop the tears, he knew that my heart was broken and in him an anger reel up and he was just plain mad. He told his father that no more of this treatment. He was writing his sisters off and they are no longer a part of his family. As to his father, he would never see me and he no longer had a daughter-in-law. He was not going to put his wife through anymore of this. As to moving from this house. Well, Paul is out of work at the moment, this is his fathers house which we pay a small amount for rent and therefore we are really unable to financially move. I have 3 to 3 1/2 years left of school before I am done. We have started making plans not only to move from this house but to move away from Florida as well. In answer to your question are his family Christians, yes they claim to be. I believe with all my heart that the only true Christian in the whole bunch is Paul's mother. But given her age, health and upbringing, she has no voice where anyone listens. It breaks her heart and she misses me and I her. But we both know that this is the choices of the others and we have no say in it. Paul when he visits them always tells her I love her and she tells him to tell me the same. I am busy with college and each day it does get better. The true test will come when the sisters come to visit and then I shall see if I am still okay.
I want to thank everyone for their continued prayers for my family. I feel the love and support from you and it truly does help me to cope with the rejection.
Becky
May the stars carry your sadness away. May the flowers fill your heart with beauty, and may hope forever wipe away your tears. |
|
|
|
darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7523 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7523 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2014 : 12:36:04 PM
|
Becky,
I just read this and I feel sad that there are so many people in the world that take in children for the money only and have no love in them.
My prayers go out to you and I pray that your husbands family come to the realization that you are special and your husband loves you very much and that they want to as well. Bless your mother in law for loving you and may she come up with the strengh to be able to tell her family that she wants to be your friend and mother in law, also I pray that you find help with your finances so that you can be able to afford to move to a place you want to be and be happy there.
Prayers for your husband that he can be strong through this situation and that he will be working at a good job soon and all things work out for you both.
Keep strong and hold your chin up because God is there with you and he will be with you through all of this and show them that you are someone they want to be in their family and are proud to know you.
Good luck with your college work,
blessings
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
|
|
|
ptroupe
True Blue Farmgirl
1752 Posts
Portia
Johnson City
NY
USA
1752 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2014 : 4:26:03 PM
|
Becky, you do sound better. Praise God for that! What a wonderful husband you have in that he stands with his wife. What a shame his mother feels as if she has to bow down to her husband. What a relationship!But, it is wonderful that she loves you and tells you so through her husband. Of course, you mention her age and health, etc., so I realize these play parts in her decisions or no decisions concerning her husband. Keep your chin up and continue in school. You will never regret the schooling. I just retired from education a few years ago. I got my Masters really late and it basically did me no good in so far as getting a principal's position because of my age. But, in the end, I am glad I got it and no one can take it away. Just wish I had gotten it when I was a lot younger, but nothing can be done about that! I know you will make it. I will pray for your husband to get a job as well.
Blessings,
Portia
Wishing for the country life! |
|
|
|
ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13584 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13584 Posts |
|
|
Ladybek9756
True Blue Farmgirl
882 Posts
Rebecca
Linneus
Maine
USA
882 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2014 : 4:53:22 PM
|
Thank you Portia and CJ. Yes I am feeling better. I do have down days, but lately I have no time for them. School is very demanding and I am very thankful for that. I don't expect to get a lot of use from the employment part of the education. I am doing it so that I can go into business for myself. Maybe a teaching job at a community college later in life. But school is very good for me right now.
Farm Girl Hugs
Becky
May the stars carry your sadness away. May the flowers fill your heart with beauty, and may hope forever wipe away your tears. |
|
|
|
Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: Off The Grid |
|
Off The Grid
