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 Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!!
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl

7577 Posts

Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2014 :  10:05:31 AM  Show Profile
Okay, girls! Everyone needs a good chuckle every once in a while... But YOU GIRLS have been AWESOME about keeping us in STITCHES!!! THANK YOU! That being said, let's keep this one going through 2015!!!

'Looking forward to another year of giggles!

Hugs -

Nini

--------------------------------------------------




Hi girls!

Grandpa always lived by the motto, "Laughter is the best medicine." I loved that about him... the man would laugh until his eyes filled with tears... I sure could use a little more of this "medicine," couldn't you? Let's try to keep the laughter going this year with new jokes every day!

I am SURE you all have better ones than I do, so please do share! Here are just a few sillies to get the giggles started...


What do you call a pig that does karate?
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A pork chop.


In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."


What did Cinderella say when her pictures got lost in the mail?
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"Someday my prints will come... SOMEday my prints will come..."


What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
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|"Dam!"


Wishing you silliness and giggles that well up to joy!

Hugs -

Nini


Farmgirl Sister #1974

God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!


Edited by - Ninibini on Jan 13 2015 3:24:38 PM

musicmommy
True Blue Farmgirl

430 Posts

Wendy
Oregon
USA
430 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2014 :  12:04:52 PM  Show Profile
Thanks for giggles!!!!

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Bob Marley
www.joyfulandsimple.wordpress.com

www.becomingwendy.wordpress.com
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl

6740 Posts

PeggyAnn
Vancouver WA
USA
6740 Posts

Posted - Jan 07 2014 :  1:05:13 PM  Show Profile
Thanks Nini...I will have to think of some I know...before I can share.

Loved the one about the little boy in the lunch line. LOL Made me laugh out loud!

Hugs,
Peggy

Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com

"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"

"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."

"Believe in yourself and let the glitter fly!" P.Smith Mail Art Hostess
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl

1874 Posts

Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2014 :  04:15:41 AM  Show Profile
Those are cute Nini!!! I don't know any jokes tho to share?
Will try to find some!

Blessings,
Linda

http://grannysbirds.blogspot.com/
Country at Heart
'For I know the plans I have for you......'
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl

6740 Posts

PeggyAnn
Vancouver WA
USA
6740 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2014 :  09:06:56 AM  Show Profile
OK...I thought of one.


Jane said, "If they can put a man on the moon....why can't they send them all there!" Hee Hee!

I'm not a man basher (I love my man)...but I do have days where I have to agree with Jane. She is on to something girls...don't you think?

Love and Hugs,
Peggy

Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com

"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"

"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."

"Believe in yourself and let the glitter fly!" P.Smith Mail Art Hostess

Edited by - LadyInRed on Jan 08 2014 09:08:53 AM
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl

7577 Posts

Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2014 :  09:25:33 AM  Show Profile
LOL! Hey... when it's funny, Peggy, it's funny! No apologies necessary!!! LOL!

Okay... Here's mine for the day:

What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?
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If you have the bird flu, you need tweet-ment; if you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.


I also know some jokes about unemployment, but they need some work...

Ba-da-BA...

Snickers and giggles -

Nini



Farmgirl Sister #1974

God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!

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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl

7577 Posts

Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2014 :  09:32:09 AM  Show Profile
Oh - and BTW, Peggy: We heard that joke when we went to see the "Sister's Easter Catechism" last year... The way she said it, I laughed so hard I was almost choking!!!
They are particularly funny to me, because my aunt was a nun! Someday I'll share a very funny story of her in the hospital...

They have so many different "Catechism" Performances... If you ever get the chance to catch one, you've just GOT to go see it!!! Here's an excerpt from one of the Christmas Catechisms: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjMdc7UAC_c

Hugs -

Nini

Farmgirl Sister #1974

God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!

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beekeepersgirl
True Blue Farmgirl

1420 Posts

Luanne
Cresco PA
USA
1420 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2014 :  10:18:56 AM  Show Profile
Here's a couple I think are cute, even though they might be more appropriate for Easter time............

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.

What do you call an angry rabbit in August?
A hot cross bunny!

OK - that's it for today - will wait for more giggles!!!

Luanne

beekeepersgirl #691

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl

7577 Posts

Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2014 :  10:58:59 AM  Show Profile
LOL!!! Oh my gosh... Too funny, Luanne! LOL! Love them! My son is rolling his eyes, but they sure made him giggle! Thank you!!!!!

Farmgirl Sister #1974

God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!

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Killarney
True Blue Farmgirl

4381 Posts

Connie
Arlington TN
USA
4381 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2014 :  10:59:13 AM  Show Profile
LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!

"What do you call a Fake Noodle?
"An ImPASTA!

For NNDairy- Heather, " What do you get from a Pampered Cow? "Spoiled Milk"

Hardy Har Har!! I hear you laughing!!

Connie
Imagine....#3392

Edited by - Killarney on Jan 08 2014 11:08:40 AM
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl

6740 Posts

PeggyAnn
Vancouver WA
USA
6740 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2014 :  11:31:21 AM  Show Profile
Nini...that sister is stinking funny. I had to watch more. Now, that girls is a real
belly laugh. She is hysterically funny!!! Thanks so much for sharing that. Still laughing!

Hugs and Smiles,
Peggy

Connie and Luanne...chuckle chuckle...those were cute Sista's!!!

Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com

"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"

"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."

"Believe in yourself and let the glitter fly!" P.Smith Mail Art Hostess
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl

7577 Posts

Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2014 :  12:37:54 PM  Show Profile
LOL!!! Oooohhhh Connie! Those were great! LOL!!!

I would love to see more of her, Peggy! ;)


Farmgirl Sister #1974

God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!

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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl

2754 Posts

Lisa
Georgetown OH
2754 Posts

Posted - Jan 08 2014 :  12:58:02 PM  Show Profile
Just got this today. Not a one liner, but still funny.

The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
RANCHER: Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
AGENT: That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.
RANCHER: That would be me.

HA






"We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” – R.R.
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl

7577 Posts

Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts

Posted - Jan 09 2014 :  11:43:47 AM  Show Profile
ImPasta!!! LOL! What a hoot, Connie!!! I'm saving that one!

Lisa - too funny! Poor dude...

Okay - here's mine for the day:

How did the farmer mend his pants?
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With cabbage patches!

Hugs -

Nini

Farmgirl Sister #1974

God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!

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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl

5216 Posts

Sharon
Bruce Crossing Michigan
USA
5216 Posts

Posted - Jan 09 2014 :  3:37:33 PM  Show Profile
Thank you girls for making me smile :)

Farmgirl Sister #5392

By His Grace, For His Glory
~Sharon

http://amerryheartjournal.blogspot.com/
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AFinkberry
True Blue Farmgirl

310 Posts

Ally
Kalama Washington
310 Posts

Posted - Jan 09 2014 :  9:51:32 PM  Show Profile
I started reading these and I'm just cracking up! The funny thing is, I know so many jokes, but not ONE comes to mind! Well, if I go to bed, I'll think of one right as I close my eyes!

Ally
Farmgirl Sister #5672

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness." ~His Holiness the Dalai Lama
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl

7577 Posts

Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts

Posted - Jan 10 2014 :  03:40:36 AM  Show Profile
LOL! Glad you girls are giggling!

Here we go:

Two showmen are standing next to each other in the yard.

One says to the other, “Funny, I smell carrots too!”

:)


Farmgirl Sister #1974

God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!

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Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl

1123 Posts

Kem

1123 Posts

Posted - Jan 10 2014 :  03:59:53 AM  Show Profile
Lisa, I can relate to your joke. That described my husband almost to a tee. Funny, but ironic.
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nndairy
True Blue Farmgirl

2604 Posts

Heather
Wapakoneta Ohio
USA
2604 Posts

Posted - Jan 10 2014 :  10:49:58 AM  Show Profile
LOL!!! Just found this! Thanks Connie. Love the cow jokes. I'll have to see if I can think of any to post soon. What a great idea Nini. Laughter is the best medicine :)

Heather
Farmgirl Sister #4701
http://nndairy.blogspot.com/

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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl

6740 Posts

PeggyAnn
Vancouver WA
USA
6740 Posts

Posted - Jan 10 2014 :  11:11:25 AM  Show Profile
Keep the chuckles coming girls!!!


Hugs,
Peggy

Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com

"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"

"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."

"Believe in yourself and let the glitter fly!" P.Smith Mail Art Hostess
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl

7577 Posts

Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts

Posted - Jan 10 2014 :  12:57:57 PM  Show Profile
Oops! That was SNOWMEN....

Let's retry:


Two snowmen are standing next to each other in the yard.

One says to the other, "Funny... I smell carrots, too!"


Eghads... Think that one lost its gas... Let's try another:


Two cannibals are eating a clown for dinner.

One leans over to the other and says, "Hey... Does this taste funny to you?"


Okay... I'll do better tomorrow... LOL! ;)

Hugs -

Nini


Farmgirl Sister #1974

God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!


Edited by - Ninibini on Jan 10 2014 12:58:46 PM
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Simply Satisfied
True Blue Farmgirl

427 Posts

Emily
Montana
USA
427 Posts

Posted - Jan 10 2014 :  2:19:01 PM  Show Profile
This isn't a joke but it made me laugh today. I took my daughters to a Chinese restaurant for lunch today. When it came time to get our fortune cookies my youngest, she is 4 years old, got a fortune saying "You are very ambitious, you will give yourself a name." In true Amelia Bedelia fashion my six year-old daughter responded with, "what would you like your name to be?" Then they both started trying to give Kirsten a new name. When I explained that wasn't what it meant they didn't understand until related it to Amelia. We have been reading so much about her and her taking sayings literally that the girls finally figured out why I was laughing so hard.

Emily
Farmgirl # 3591
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl

7577 Posts

Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts

Posted - Jan 10 2014 :  3:04:10 PM  Show Profile
Omgosh, Emily! That is too precious! LOL! How sweet your girls are!!! :) Hugs - Nini

Farmgirl Sister #1974

God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!

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AFinkberry
True Blue Farmgirl

310 Posts

Ally
Kalama Washington
310 Posts

Posted - Jan 10 2014 :  3:52:58 PM  Show Profile
Saw these in RD!

"I'm reading a great book about anti gravity, I just can't put it down!"
"What did the bald man say when he received a comb for a gift?--Gee I'll never part with it!"

OK, so my 10 yr. old thought they were funny and DH groaned, which was just as funny to me!



Ally
Farmgirl Sister #5672

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness." ~His Holiness the Dalai Lama
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl

7577 Posts

Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts

Posted - Jan 10 2014 :  10:42:04 PM  Show Profile
LOL!!! Good ones, Ally! My guys keep rolling their eyes when I tell them, too, but then they laugh... I can't help but think, though, they're laughing at me for laughing so hard at the jokes!


Here's my joke for the day:


Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the calendar factory?

Geesh… All he did was take a day off!


Hugs -

Nini



Farmgirl Sister #1974

God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!


Edited by - Ninibini on Jan 10 2014 10:43:06 PM
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emtfarmer
True Blue Farmgirl

222 Posts

Darlene
North Carolina
USA
222 Posts

Posted - Jan 11 2014 :  09:32:11 AM  Show Profile
Hey girls!

I know, I know, this is longer than the type of jokes you’re talking about but it is my favorite joke EVER!

Two brothers, age 3 and 4, went to bed one night and started talking:
4 y/o: “You know, we’re old enough that I think it is time we learn to cuss”.
3 y/o: “Okay, but what do we say?
4 y/o: “Well, since you’re 3 years old you say a three- letter word and since I’m 4 years old I’ll say a four-letter word”.
3 y/o: “Okay, but what do we say?”
4 y/o: “Well, you say the word ‘a**’ (rhymes with lass) and I’ll say ‘h**l’ (rhymes with well).”
3 y/o: “Okay, but when do we say it?”
4 y/o: “Don’t worry about it, when the time is right you’ll know it; just follow my lead.”

Next morning mom comes in and asks the boys what they would like for breakfast.
4 y/o: “Ahh, h**l, I don’t care. Just give me a stack of pancakes.”
Well, when mom heard this she grabbed up the 4 y/o and started giving him an old-fashioned spanking. Then she turned to the 3 y/o and asks him what he would like for breakfast.
3 y/o: “Ohhh, I don’t know but you can bet your a** it won’t be pancakes!!!

Darlene



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