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Parenting & Farm Kids:  chores and responsibility-cues from the Amish  |
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 28 2012 : 11:54:36 AM
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So... a few months ago I was watching an Amish documentary (chuh... you might be a farmgirl if you've said this before, am I right? LOL)
It talked about how much work the kids have, and how early children begin to help around the farms. Generally, this statement makes people feel sorry for the Amish children not being allowed to "be kids" or play.
Anyone who has followed my extended family saga would be familiar with how I struggle with my relatives extreme laziness-- I was brought up to think of chores as something you did as quickly as possible, are little as possible so you could go back to doing what ever it was you REALLY want to be doing, motivation to get done what needs doing does not come easy to me.
So I decided to try doing something drastic-- I'm giving my kids responsibility. Lots of it. My goal is to teach that chores and "work" is a way of life, it's not a big deal- it just IS, and there will always be more.
Amish children feel important and valued, because they are heavily invested in the family's success, in stark contrast to the upper middle class "emo" tween that has nothing to complain about but feels worthless, lost, overlooked and depressed.
So yeah-- I'm giving it a shot.
Mom's not gonna "do it all so the kids can be kids" anymore.
I think it's about time this generation figures out that childhood is preparation for adulthood... and if you don't treat it that way, childhood will never end for some people.
Sincerely,
No Longer Lost in Sanitation... or Laundry.
What about you? what's your philosophy and how much "work" do your kids do? Do you think in an ideal world they'd do more or less?
~*~ http://silverstarfamilyfarm.blogspot.com/ ~*~
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.”
~Erma Bombeck |
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cheeselady
Farmgirl in Training
33 Posts
michele
waxhaw
NC
USA
33 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2012 : 12:28:15 PM
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| I am right there with you sister! Hopefully your kids are younger than mine. Trying to get two teenage boys to work more than they are used to is very difficult. But, I tell myself that I am doing the work for their future wives. |
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2012 : 1:04:09 PM
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My kids are 8, 5 and 18 mos (all girls.)
They have always been responsible for keeping their bedroom picked up (some days are better than others of course in terms of kid room clean level)
The first thing I added was having them bring their own dirty stuff to the utility room and putting their clean stuff away. My first "backlash" was the kids skipping a critical step in the process--- actually WEARING the laundry before washing. I was seeing stuff that I washed before, being stuffed under a bed, in a cupboard, in a toybox etc, and coming back unworn but wrinkled and full of dog hair and dirt.
Making more work for mom wasn't gonna fly. First I sent stuff back that hadn't been worn. Now THEY have to wash their own load and hang it outdoors-- no dryer shortcut unless the weather doesn't permit. All of a sudden clean clothes have more value.
Next came help with baby sister. Both girls can change her diaper in a pinch, dress her, and regularly fill up the baby's cup. I still get some bickering over which one is going to do it, but it does get done, and I don't have to drop everything to handle my toddler's every need for 30 seconds.
Feeding time was easier to get the kids on board for- they love being outside with the animals anyway, and they have to prove up responsibility enough to have animals of their own. Now two sets of hands know which animals eat what, how much, when, and to make sure water pools, dishes and troughs are full whether I am home at feeding time or not.
Our biggest difficulties were the concepts of "enough food", importance of clean water vs. dirty water, and for some reason counting the free range poultry when it went in was tough.
I'm not ashamed to say I have sent the 8 year old out with a flashlight before bed to count birds or take out an extra scoop of food.
Now we're starting to incorporate more common area housework-- I'm through with cleaning the living room 3 times a day.
If they get a wild hair and want to earn some money of their own they can do extras like cleaning *my* bathroom or putting away *my* laundry.
I do get quite a few temper tantrums now and again, (especially between the two oldest who are each convinced they do a bigger half of chores) but all in all, the whining is starting to slow down and I have a teeny bit more time on my hands, and a much cleaner house.
~*~ http://silverstarfamilyfarm.blogspot.com/ ~*~
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.”
~Erma Bombeck |
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jan49829
True Blue Farmgirl
2428 Posts
Janet
Winter Haven
Florida
USA
2428 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2012 : 4:30:24 PM
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There were 10 children in my family, I am the 4th oldest, so we had to work at an early age. I was 8 when I was making full meals and baking all by myself. My oldest sister moved out when I was 11, and my parents were alcoholics and never home, so I had to take over or we would have starved and had no clothes on our backs. I know what hard work is, now in this day and age, kids just have it made.
Janet
Farmgirl Sister #3340
http://hardatworkcrafts.blogspot.com
http://Jan49829.etsy.com
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2012 : 11:43:07 AM
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I agree 100 percent. There is a time for work and a time for play. Amish can get a lot more for both with out tv and video games. With out the tv video games eating up all their time they have time for both. In our society today, kids have a lot of time for video games, tv, and all these organize sports. Then parents think they have to do all the work cause the kids don't have time, or time to be kids etc. It's all about balance. I'm not judging any one who watches tv, plays video games, or are involved in organized sports. But, with out them, kids/families really have a LOT of time for work and play. So kids can be kids, and yet learn how to work too!
I get mommy why do I have to do this often, my answer-cause that's what families do. Every one in a family has to help! Families help each other. Then you will hear funny little things when they are talking to their friends-families help each other-in little wee voices. lol haha
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2012 : 2:32:40 PM
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Congrats on your 1000th post Jen!
I think you're doing a great thing for your kids. When they grow up they will know how to do for themselves. I look at kids now and think they will have a rough time when they are older with no one to feed or take care of them and they didn't learn how to do it themselves. There is a reason it's called work...because it's work. Otherwise it would be called fun.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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countrymommy85
True Blue Farmgirl
898 Posts
Krystle
MT
USA
898 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2012 : 09:20:33 AM
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I want to instill that sense of responsibility in my kids as well! I too had been watching different documentaries on Netflix and kids back then didn't have time to be in gangs because there was too much work to be done! People back then didn't have walmart and big box stores/malls, etc.... Anyway I want my kids to learn responsibility because I'd like them to know that if they work hard enough anything is possible and they can start their own businesses or anything because with a little hard work anything is possible- just look at the pyramids! :)
Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee. ~Author Unknown
http://countryrenaissance.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/SunflowersAndHoney |
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SpyChicken
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Christine
Fond du Lac
WI
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2012 : 09:34:00 AM
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| My mother always pointed out that if you want to teach your children to do things, be independent, etc. you've got to start at home and you've got to start early. I don't think saying "no" or expecting kids to help out at home hurts them in the slightest...it teaches them a more balanced way of living so they can function when they feather their own nests! |
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FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2012 : 07:33:21 AM
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Kudos to you, Jen! I think this is just great. I am wondering how you began this whole process? How did you begin incorporating all the additional chores, what reaction did they have, and how are you dealing with the speed bumps?
I completely get the "enough food" dilemma. My DH an DS eat me out of house and home! One silly little trick I tried was cutting our homemade pizzas into smaller pieces. I figured it might look like they'd be taking more from the pan, and maybe they'd eat less. I'll be darned! It actually worked! They were still hogging the same number of slices, but they didn't realize they were smaller! I was absolutely amazed to have an extra slice or two left over for lunch the next day! So, I started cutting things in smaller pieces (for example, I'd cut a boneless chicken breast in two before baking, or I'd make hamburgers slightly smaller), and I cut back on what I actually cooked and gave them slightly smaller portions. I was astounded! At the end of our meals, we actually started having a few leftovers! Another trick I started using was to serve some food on smaller luncheon plates and in bowls. You have a lot more control over the portions because they look so much bigger in smaller serving ware. Whenever one of my guys says they're still feeling a little hungry after the main meal, I'll point them in the direction of the apples, bananas or oranges. Seems to curb their appetites just fine! :)
Hugs -
Nini
(\_/)
(='.'=)
(") (")*
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2012 : 11:14:39 AM
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Funny about the bathrooms. That was my husbands first job too-he cleaned bathrooms at the airport.
One thing I think the not enough or no chores has done to the last generation is making them think that they are too good for certain jobs. And in turn I've seen many a "man" (I use the term lightly with these folks) who would rather sit at home on their bums then work at a job beneath them while their wife is out there working at the beneath them job to feed the family. I've said many times that a huge reason I married my husband is BECAUSE he cleaned toilets for a living when I first met him. I knew from that if he lost his job or for whatever reason no longer could do his dream job-trains-worked for NYC transit on trains for 11 years-he would do whatever job he had to to care for his family, and he has! That's a grown man! Yet I can't tell you how many of yt girlfriends are out there killing themselves to bring home the bacon, cause their DH won't do a job beneath them!
People used to give me the weirdest looks though when I said I married him cause he cleaned toilets when we first met. I knew that meant he was humble and like I said would do what it took, and that is him!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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22angel
True Blue Farmgirl
498 Posts
Pam
Manitoba
Canada
498 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2012 : 5:01:13 PM
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Oh I totally agree, Jen! Kids today do have it very easy. They hardly have "chores", very few responsibilities, and yet expect everything to be handed to them without any work on their behalf. It astounds me that parents just do everything & buy everything for their children. Not to say that they shouldn't buy some things for them, but man oh man, the amount of "things" kids have just to "have" is ridiculous!
I know for myself that, when I was younger, if I wanted anything, I either had to do my chores (although our "allowance" was $0.25 for the week if we kept our room cleaned & clothes put away) or save up my babysitting money. Now, I don't have any tv channels (I do have a tv & movies, but that's it. Can't even get a "local" channel) and I honestly don't care. I know when I do have access to tv, I realize all the more how much time is wasted in front of the tv. I'm not judging anyone, b/c it wasn't until about 3 years ago that I didn't have tv. And the same with video games. I do have a dsi, but I don't play it very often (my nephew & sister play it more than I do, I think lol). Not to say that I don't waste enough time online..... But I have already decided that when I get married & have kids, we are not having tv channels & the kids are going to have responsibilities & learn that they are not too good to do "minimum wage" jobs or jobs that they think are beneath them.
Good for you Jen, for starting early, and for everyone else too!
Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself.
"When I grow up, I want to be dirt." seen on a box through construction in Wyoming 2010 |
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soapmommy60543
True Blue Farmgirl
2197 Posts
Ann
Oswego
IL
USA
2197 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2012 : 05:37:02 AM
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My kids are responsible for 75% of the house chores in our home. Everything from simple tasks like sweeping and dishes to washing and drying laundry. People were amazed that my DD, who was 7 at the time we got our new frontload washer, was doing laundry! I feel this is fair, because right now I'm taking a class and writing my blog (which will hopefully generate income someday), and my hubby works full time. We also homeschool, and even though they are teenagers and don't need my attention every minute, I still have to look for materials, answer their questions, keep them (well, Bubba) on task. I work, too. In my house, everyone works. Period.
Nini, you had asked about how to start them on their chores. I used the Montessori preschool model as a basis. When DD was three, she was "allowed" to fold washcloths. Then she was "promoted" to dishcloths and Hubby's boxers (they are all folded in quarters). When she had mastered these skills, she was "promoted" again, and was "allowed" to fold dishtowels, hand towels and bath towels (these are all folded in thirds, then in half). At that point, Little Brother started with dishcloths. By the time DD was 6, she was also sweeping and Wet Swiffering, and like I said, at 7 was learning how to do the laundry.
When I went to college, I watched so many kids (boys AND girls) who couldn't even do their own laundry. Very few of them could cook anything beyond Mac-n-Cheese or a TV dinner. I don't want that for my children. Even if my DD is a work-outside-the-home mom, she will still need to know how to manage a household. My son may have to do the same, because his wife may not know. What if they are both single and living on their own?
I'm sorry, but the Bible says we are to train up our children in the way they should go. Mine have had it cushy for a while now (we've been backsliding - which is entirely my fault), but in about a week-ish, we'll be gutting and reorg'ing the whole house, top to bottom and getting our routine back in order.
I think it's admirable that you are teaching your kids to have a work ethic!
Wife of terrific hubby and mom to 2 teenagers, 2 bunnies, 2 geriatric goldfish, and the best dog in the world!
Check out my blog: http://www.suburbanprairiehomemaker.com
and follow me on Facebook (Suburban Prairie Homemaker), Twitter (@sphomemaker), and Pinterest (Suburban Prairie Homemaker)
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Apr 16 2012 : 07:58:00 AM
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My little man is 4 1/2. I started him at 3 with picking up his room, putting his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and feeding the dog and cat. Right now we are working on putting clean clothes away in the proper drawer, putting his coat and back pack (from daycare)in his room (we've got to get a small coat rack for him in there). I let him help with other things as well such as spring clean up. We're doing body work to my hubby's 1/2 ton dodge pick up. He had to help "sand" the body down with a palm sander. I think that the problem with most modern parents is that they are too afraid to let their child do something or don't want the hassel of arguement when kids refuse to do it. Of course they're going to mess up on occasion, but how are they going to learn otherwise?
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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beachymom
True Blue Farmgirl
467 Posts
Kathy
Manchester
Tennessee
USA
467 Posts |
Posted - Apr 16 2012 : 3:23:28 PM
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I totally agree that today's children are lazy and not responsible. It it usually the parents who did not instill proper work ethic.
When my middle daughter started middle school, she came home one day to tell me that one of her friends told her that I was a horrible mother for 'making' her do her own laundry!! I asked her what she said to that and she told me the told her friend that she actually enjoyed doing her own laundry. With 2 sisters almost all the same size, it was the only way she could be sure to get all her own socks and panties back. I told her she was right.
My oldest daughter was 8 when somebody said that they wanted an 'Easy Bake Oven' for Christmas. My daughter made me proud when she said right back, "what's easier than the kitchen oven?" A parent hanging around, asked me what that was all about. I told her I taught my kids to cook. Of course, I was always around someplace watching - just out of sight, but keeping an eye on things. By the time they were five years old, they knew how to scramble an egg in the microwave and in a cast iron pan. They knew how to make toast. They knew how to cook hot dogs. By the time they were eight, they could cook complete meals. This other mom was aghast!! Imagine her face when I told her they did their own laundry too!!
They knew how to sew on a button as soon as they had one pop off. I remember when my oldest came up to me with a popped off button and a sucked in lip - I think she thought she was in trouble. I used this as an opportunity to teach all my kids how to sew on a button. I then had buttons sewed on pant legs, pillows, curtains.....nothing was safe. I showed them that if they cut a piece of felt with pinking shears, they could sew a button on the top and they'd have a great bookmark. As I remember, that year, every kid on the block got one or two of those home made bookmarks for birthday gifts.
My middle daughter once told me that she thought she was more special than any other kid she knew because she wore clothes that her Mama made...then she made. What a sweetie!!
I actually know a couple of Amish families and their children start doing chores as soon as they can walk. One little boy rode the tractor with his dad from the time he was 4 or 5. If a dirt clod needed chunking up, dad would stop the tractor and he'd jump down with a clod rake & break it up. By the time he was 10 he was driving the tractor himself.'
Needless to say (after all this), yes I really believe it is our job as parents to teach responsibility to our children so they do not grow up to be lazy, good for nothing couch potatoes!!
Hugs and Squishies!!
Kathy
Farmgirl Sister #3983
Take care of the land and it will take care of you. |
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alterationsbyemily
True Blue Farmgirl
686 Posts
Emily
Thomasville
PA
USA
686 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2012 : 10:00:32 PM
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My DD must clean up her room, if she is asked to clean her room and when she says she is done and we go and it is messy she loses something for the day, like TV or an hour of playtime. But she is most of the time very repectful and is cleaned up. She is now getting into the habit of cleaning up before it makes a huge mess, started that one all on her own. She also must dry the silverware when we do dishes and put it in the drawer, she has expanded hers now to the plastic cups. What is wonderful about her responsibilites, 80% of the time now, when we ask her to come or hold our hand she listens, she understands we are the parent.
Now there are some nearby children with no responsibilities and they run their parents ragged...
To each his own, but never feel like a bad parent because you are giving your child responsibility, 100 years ago kids had alot more responsibilities, so doing some dishes and keeping a clean room are fairly realistic.
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Farmgirl #2951
No longer renting, offical farmgirl.
Check out my new blog at http://featheredhattrading.blogspot.com/
And my new Etsy listings http://www.etsy.com/shop/alterationsbyemily |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2012 : 04:14:05 AM
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you ain't a kiddin' Emily. Is what my grandfather would of said.
100 years ago my grandma and her siblings used to have to pick cotton for their parents. She said her parents were "nice" and paid them a penny a day for it. The other children in the area they grew up in, had to pick cotton for their parents for free. Any one who knows anything about cotton pickin' knows it ain't no day in the park.
My child sometimes says things like this is the worst day ever, I have been telling her she doesn't even know what a bad day is! She has it so good! I mean my husband and I are good to her, she does chores, but doesn't have to pick cotton till her back hurts, and fingers bleed! She is fed daily-my grandma barely fed, only corn bread and milk, no meat, or anything else really, that was all her parents could afford. She never once has ever complained about her parens, only ever talked about them in a way of feeling sorry for how hard they had to work! (her parents, not how hard she had to work)
There is children who are abused, and half starved. But, for the children who are well taken care of by loving parents....they just have no idea how good they have it, sometimes!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Dapple Grey Lady
True Blue Farmgirl
725 Posts
Betty
Goodrich
Texas
USA
725 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2013 : 4:12:15 PM
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This thread has been an interesting read. I grew up doing chores and my kids did. Many of my kids friends had maids! Ack! They didn't even know how to push a broom or clean a toliet much less cook something that did not come in a box. Now that we have the farm some of the grandkids are learning about the work required. The downfall is three live with their mom and two here (son and family live on same property as us)so are not around much to do chores.The older three have started complaining so much about having to "work" now. BUT they do know they have to get out there and do it or... I do see the parents who do so much for their kids and then complain it is hard to ge them to do anything. I thank my parents for all they taught me.
~ Betty ~ |
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hudsonsinaf
True Blue Farmgirl
3162 Posts
Shannon
Rozet
Wyoming
USA
3162 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2013 : 5:14:37 PM
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My kiddos are 10, 8, 6, 4, 2, and 5mo. All of them, except the youngest, obviously, does chores. We are dreaming of owning a small farm, and they will be doing even more, then.
My mom's family was Amish. Well - some of them still are, lol. Anyways, the children do not generally look at chores as work, as so many children do today. Rather, they look at it as being a part of the family. It is this philosophy that we are trying to instill in our own children. Chores is not something you have to do, but rather something to share in doing. There are some "easier" ways of doing things - more modernized - that are allowed in different Amish communities - yet some families view these "easier" ways to steal the family of the joy of working together. A sense of family and community is extremely important, and I pray that our children find it so, as well. |
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2013 : 1:29:50 PM
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I love the Amish - and one of my new friends and pen pal is a woman I met through her stand at the Farmers Market we go to every summer. They definitely have great theories for building family unity, work ethis and sense of self worth.
All four of my girls are sweet helpful daughters who pitch in (most of the time) without complaint. My problem is, I have a lot of misplaced guilt about them doing chores.
When I was a child, my father died after a long illness and my mother had a breakdown that plunged her into a crippling depression, which lasted about 12 years. For the first year after he diedshe rarely got out of bed, and all of her friends and all other family members dealt with it by pretending it wasn't happening. So, I basically took over all the house duties - cleaning, laundry, yard work, cooking and even worked out times when my grandparents could take me to the store for grocery shopping (again, even my grandparents just lived in denial and pretended there was nothing wrong). Honestly, I worked myself into a frazzle for years and just gave up playing for the most part - except by myself at night in my room after everything was done. When I was a little older I was also earning money by baysitting and doing odd jobs so we could have more household income (other than death benefits). When I became an adult I started to feel a bit robbed of my childhood.
And even when my mother overcame the acute symptoms of her depression, she lost the emotional ability to take care of herself, and let others (including me) do it until the end of her life.
That's why sometimes I feel guilty for my girls doing chores - as if I am robbing them of their childhood. I have to remind myself that being part of a team (Team Family!) Is a valuable thing, and that we are ALL working TOGETHER, I'm not just dumping everything on them. Plus, we have no video games, limited TV time and the girls all have lots of time to pursue their own interests and play.
I think striving for balance and good attitude is key.
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder
"A [wo]man is rich in proportion to the number of things which [s]he can afford to let alone." - Henry David Thoreau |
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hudsonsinaf
True Blue Farmgirl
3162 Posts
Shannon
Rozet
Wyoming
USA
3162 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2013 : 1:37:35 PM
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| Suzanne - First and foremost, (((hugs))). I am so sorry to hear about your father, your mother, and your childhood ;( Your mom was very blessed to have a responsible daughter. But I am so sorry it happened :( I can see where you struggle with guilt. But I must say it sounds like you have raised wonderful daughters. I think you hit the nail on the head - there is a difference between them doing the chores (like you did growing up), and all of you working together as a family. I know personally, I need to continue to strive for the balance and attitude you speak of!!! |
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2013 : 5:24:41 PM
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Shannon - thanks so much for the hugs and support. I hope I didn't bring anyone down with my story, it just goes a long way to explaining why I think so much about this issue and have baggage. Even when one of my girls volunteers to do extra vacuuming and is happily accomplishing it I feel that little ping of guilt - even though I know it's reasonable and giving them a sense of accomplishment. It's different to be a contributing member of the family than a lone member who everything is unfairly dumped on. There should be a balance of meaningful work (and by meaningful I mean sincerely important to the running of the house and family) and play/free time for children. I also do try to stress during "group meetings" with my girls that if we tackle things as a team, there is more free fun time for all of us. I just have to remind myself that teamwork (chores) don't equal hardship when this balance is in place.
And, holding with my belief that no bad thing happens without some good coming from it, what I went through did teach me I could truly take care of myself no matter what.
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder
"A [wo]man is rich in proportion to the number of things which [s]he can afford to let alone." - Henry David Thoreau |
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Lanna
True Blue Farmgirl
330 Posts
Lanna
A little town in Idaho
330 Posts |
Posted - Sep 13 2014 : 04:17:03 AM
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My kids do a fair amount, more than the neighborhood kids, that's for sure. But they can totally do more. I have to add things slowly, one at a time so they're not overwhelmed. Once they mastered the laundry and I can task them with that without having to supervise every. single. time. it's time to master scrubbing the bathroom down so Grandma's not scared when she comes to visit.
My 10yo and 8yo boys do all their laundry (from dirty hamper to folded and put away in the family dresser in the kid room), and some of their younger siblings. I never empty the dishwasher. I had to do that growing up (annoying story), and detest it to this day. So I load it and handwash things, the 10yo, 8yo and 6yo take turns putting everything away. There's a few baskets of "kid" plates and cups and sippies and Klean Kanteens in a lower cabinet to make it easier for them to get those things as needed.
When friends/kids are over visiting and want something, I point them where to go since they're fully capable of getting their own cup from the cabinet and filling it from the Berkey or fridge. Or show them where to put their dirty [cloth] napkin because I'm not going to do it for them.
My oldest started making sandwiches around 7-8yo (shocked a friend at the time, she was still babying her 7yo and 4yo, and stressed out from all the responsibility), right now my 8yo is the master of the grilled cheese (perfectly golden brown) and totally rocks at blanching and peeling peaches while I cut and get them in jars and into the canner. Right now, my 8yo and 10yo are tasked with heating up/making breakfasts and lunches. They're fairly easy (like when I cook a package of sausage links, heating up in the microwave is easy, or toasting bread/waffles/pancakes/egg toasties in the toaster) though, not too complicated. My 6yo is awesome with a vaccum (much better than her brothers - except when the 8yo is wielding the Shopvac in the van), and the 4yo gets to dust and help mop and vacuum and take the recycling out and such.
One other little tidbit. I had to limit the kids' wardrobes. I have four children in a single 11'x12' bedroom. It can only hold so much. So I have a list of clothing items I have for them in each size so none of us get overwhelmed with laundry (when we go above those numbers, it's happened). I take the list with me consignment shopping, and stick to it. Quite nice, and I'm ready for when the 10yo's about to transition to size 14 in a few months, if that.
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Lanna, homeschooling mama to four little monkeys that still try to jump on the bed |
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auntjenny
True Blue Farmgirl
277 Posts
Jenny
San Luis Obispo
CA
USA
277 Posts |
Posted - Sep 13 2014 : 2:40:39 PM
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I agree completely! My 6 kids are from age 36 down to the last two who are ow 17. Every one of them is a hard worker. They always had more chores than their friends ( some complain ed more than others) but it has served them well and I have never been sorry.
Inside me there is a skinny girl crying to get out, but I can usually shut her up with cookies. |
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Oct 20 2014 : 6:16:46 PM
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I'm always amazed when people are saddened when children have chores. It's not child labour here, it's teaching them life skills. (unless these parents are planning on going to their adult children's homes and cleaning their houses).
As parents it's part of our job to make sure our children are prepared for adulthood. Not only will they be able to cook and clean for themselves, being expected to pitch in teaches responsibilty, being part of a team, cooperation and satisfaction of a job well done.
Farmgirl Sister #3759
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"
"The things that matter most are not really things after all" |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: chores and responsibility-cues from the Amish |
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chores and responsibility-cues from the Amish
