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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  Trying to Be Thankful  |
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Littleredd
True Blue Farmgirl
174 Posts
Patty
Norwich
NY
USA
174 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 08:41:00 AM
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Today is Sunday and I am trying to be thankful for what I have but some days it's very tough. I'm newly married (last Nov) and ever since my husband and I have been separated except for a small stint in early February.
We've been in a long-distance relationship for 3 years. Once we got married I thought surely we'd be able to be together again but not so. He has to fix up his house to sell. The money we get from that we are going to use to buy some land.
In the meantime I'm 34 so I'm worried about running out of good child-bearing years (to be blunt) and I'm alone. There are so many people out there who have so much worse problems than I have and I should be thankful that we have each other but between gas prices, the economy and the enormous amount of work he has to do on his house, some days I feel like I don't know when I'll see him again.
At least he's not away at war. At least his life isn't in danger. At least I have my dog, my friends and family to feel thankful for but there are days I want to act like a 2 year old, throw myself on the floor and wail. Arms and legs flailing and everything. Not a pretty picture. But despite all this....I am trying to be thankful.
Thanks for listening.
Patty
~`~`~`~`~`
A little Red, attempting to be The Fearless Farmgirl
www.fearlessfarmgirl.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Stimalano
Farmgirl Sister #2106 |
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melanie47601
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Melanie
Boonville
IN
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 09:01:32 AM
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Hugs Patty! My guy and I have been together for 5 years, engaged for two of those years. So finally this year we plan to tie the knot. We don't live together as there is still a lot of remodeling work to do on my house to make enough room for all of us. I have three kids and he has one. So we are hoping the work will be done by late summer, but we've been down this road before. It seems something always happens to keep us from being "together". You know what I mean. It can be really dis-heartening. And yeah you're not the only one that wants to have a pouty fit big enough to embarass even a 2 year old. Boy do I have days like that! I guess what helps me the most is to remind myself that he loves me, that this stage we are at won't last forever, that we will eventually move on to where we are meant and want to be. As for the babies... I know of women who've had babies in their upper 30's and into their 40's. Sending lots of hugs and prayers.
Melanie
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"
Blog~ http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/ Etsy~http://www.etsy.com/shop/theflourishingfinch
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Littleredd
True Blue Farmgirl
174 Posts
Patty
Norwich
NY
USA
174 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 12:33:33 PM
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Thanks for the kind words Melanie, sometimes, just knowing there are others that have been in my shoes helps a lot. Other times, I just cry my little heart out from the frustration of it all. Then I wipe my nose and get on with all the wonderful things I love to do that are productive but also served to take my mind of our situation. Here's hoping you and your guy can be together forever very soon. Hugs and prayers to you too.
Patty
~`~`~`~`~`
A little Red, attempting to be The Fearless Farmgirl
www.fearlessfarmgirl.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Stimalano
Farmgirl Sister #2106 |
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2011 : 7:17:35 PM
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I'm praying for you Patty! Please know that all of us are here for you if you ever need to talk or vent. :) We are only a post or e-mail away. :)
Hugs,
Hannah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Lifes not about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.
Just a small town country girl, farmgirl,loggergirl, trying to live her dreams. :)
P.s. I've been playing around with the spelling of my name ( weird I know) and I've decided that I will stick with Hannah for good. Sorry I got you all confused. Hugs!! |
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Heartbroken farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
604 Posts
Annette
rio vista
Ca
USA
604 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 07:33:39 AM
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Please know we are here for you. My DH works 7 days a week. Mostly out of town a year and a half after we were married he was sent four hours away to work for 18 months. We saw him 5 times. When he returned from that 18 month ling job, our youngest son turned 19 months old! It is so hard. Ny two youngest were shy, and hid when he got home. I too wanted, many a time, to throw the tantrums you describe. We have 4 kids, and I've often felt like I married a paycheck. I'm so sorry. To be a newly-wed, and not together! Hugs and prayers being sent!
The tears I shed then, watered the flowers I harvest now.
www.broken908.blogspot.com
http://forums.familyfriendpoems.com/broken908
"The aim of education is the knowledge not of facts but of values."-Dean William Ralph Inge |
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Lady Woodworker
True Blue Farmgirl
259 Posts
Karen
Chamberlain
Maine
USA
259 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 10:08:14 AM
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Patty, your situation is very difficult--
My job takes me far from home each week. I only see my husband on weekends. I have lived this way for five of our nearly ten-year marriage. I love the work but hate the distance. I can't take it much longer. I'm making some huge changes this year (changing careers) so that I can end this cycle of being away from home (hopefully for good).
Also, I understand about your concern about having children in time. I respect that and encourage you to listen to that inner voice.
I don't think you are whining.
I think you are facing some deep emotional hardship and my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your husband,
Karen
Farmgirl Sister # 2419 |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 10:17:37 AM
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Patty, it's so tough!
My father and mother were married, but he was only home 3 months out of the year, and that wasn't consecutive. He worked in the horse racing industry, and where the horses went, so did his job. I wondered how my mother did it all those years...I know she was grateful to have me, and we are still incredibly close.
Having said that, the only similarity to your current situation that I share is that I had my first child at 35. There IS still time. In fact, most of my friends are having babies now--one is 38, one is 41 and one is 37. So, it can be done. And loving my two year old the way I do, I highly recommend it. Having a baby later in life, for me, anyway, was the right way to go. Any time prior to my thirties, and I think I would have been nutso. Just simply NOT ready.
Guess what I'm saying is, hang in there. Distance is difficult, but you and your husband are working towards a goad to buy land, and I'm sure, when that happens, it will all fall right in place. Best of luck!
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Littleredd
True Blue Farmgirl
174 Posts
Patty
Norwich
NY
USA
174 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 8:34:42 PM
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Thank you so much for all of your kind words, stories, hugs and prayers. I was feeling pretty dark when I wrote this originally. MJF is a comfort to me; I'm already getting to know so many good women through bartering, penpalling etc. You girls can keep a girl afloat some days and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Many many blessings to you all and if YOU ever need a chat, I am a fine listener.
xoxox
Patty
~`~`~`~`~`
A little Red, attempting to be The Fearless Farmgirl
www.fearlessfarmgirl.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Stimalano
Farmgirl Sister #2106 |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 09:21:12 AM
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Glad to know the sun has come out a little where you are :) It's very easy to get blue, especially when things seem so unlike how you "pictured". Sometimes, we simply have to sit back and enjoy a different view.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Littleredd
True Blue Farmgirl
174 Posts
Patty
Norwich
NY
USA
174 Posts |
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traildancer
True Blue Farmgirl
485 Posts
Loyce
Glide
OR
USA
485 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 10:18:54 AM
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Sometimes, Patty, I think you just need to throw the tantrum! Just get it out of your system, where no one can observe, of course. Oftentimes when I feel overwhelmed, I get on my horse and ride. He doesn't care if I cry. I try not to yell as he might spook at that.
It's good to remember the blessings that you have, but that doesn't negate the problems. I think you should acknowledge the things that bother you (like you did in your first post) and then focus on the blessings. The bad stuff doesn't go away, but ti seems easier to bear.
Take care of yourself and remember that this, too, shall pass.
The trail is the thing.... Louis L'Amour |
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debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 1:26:51 PM
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patty hang in there things will turn around and all will be well
its hard being newly married but not seeing each other is lonely
when i first married my dh worked nights and i worked days and only saw each
other one day a week for years.. finally i took a night job and we were together
alittle more for awhile its a hard road sometimes but the upside
we felt and acted like newly weds...LOL since we had so little time together
and we are married now 28yrs.. he just retired and now i'm going alittle crazy because
we are together 24 7 and it different...lol nows he making me crazy he need to get a PT job!!!!
blessings deborah
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
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Littleredd
True Blue Farmgirl
174 Posts
Patty
Norwich
NY
USA
174 Posts |
Posted - Mar 19 2011 : 1:20:39 PM
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LOL Deborah-I've heard that aplenty! My mom is in that same situation.
And Loyce - thanks for the kind and wise words. Being honest with myself makes it much easier to handle things - I take my tantrum out on my house (cleaning), but if I had a horse to ride; God I'd love that instead!
~`~`~`~`~`
A little Red, attempting to be The Fearless Farmgirl
www.fearlessfarmgirl.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Stimalano
Farmgirl Sister #2106 |
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Marigold
Farmgirl in Training
38 Posts
Marigold
Chicago
IL
USA
38 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2011 : 7:04:40 PM
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| Hope you're doing all right. It is hard to cling to what we have. To cherish the loves in our lives even if they are far away. Seems to me, it would be easier to bear if you knew when it was going to end, when you can officially be together. Perhaps setting a date, even if you don't make it, just to give yourself a goal would help. Something to strive for can make the waiting more bearable. |
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2011 : 03:59:40 AM
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adding my hug!
Farmgirl # 2139
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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Littleredd
True Blue Farmgirl
174 Posts
Patty
Norwich
NY
USA
174 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2011 : 11:11:45 AM
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Marigold, you are so right, and we did just that. I'm hoping to move on April 20th! I just have to find someone to rent out my condo so I can make the mortgage payments. The ads are in; pray for us or keep your fingers crossed!
Thanks for the thoughts and hugs everyone.
xoxoxox
LR
~`~`~`~`~`
A little Red, attempting to be The Fearless Farmgirl
www.fearlessfarmgirl.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Stimalano
Farmgirl Sister #2106 |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13763 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13763 Posts |
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Littleredd
True Blue Farmgirl
174 Posts
Patty
Norwich
NY
USA
174 Posts |
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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: Trying to Be Thankful |
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Trying to Be Thankful
