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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  contemplating things- kinda long  |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 30 2011 : 09:13:14 AM
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You know I haven't been here for a while. I am feeling not good emotionally. I blog sometimes, do my job and go to church on Sundays. For the rest of the time I just "vegetate" on the couch, with my blanket. I put on the tv and hardly notice what is on. But that is not the point right now.
I have decided to stop with the choir....for now...the rest of the season. MAYBE I will start again in the new season (september) but am not sure yet. But anyway..I have sent an email to one of the ladies that is sort of our "leader" and told her the reason. Also send the same mail to my friend A and another friend....just so they hear it from me and not through the grapevine. The other lady (not A and not our leader) emailed me back and told me "she gets tired too at the end of the week but is glad to go to choir-practice...it gives her a boost and please reconsider or else I will be the only one in our age-group" etc...more along those lines. NOW she has made me feel guilty. I have not answered her yet, first want to see what the other two write (friend A plus leader)
WHAT gets me is that it is not because I am tired! NOT at all...if that was it I would get over it...it is only once every 2 weeks. It is because I just feel overwhelmed.....don't have the oomph......am feeling down and just an overal tiredness of the brains, mentally.
WHY do people not understand if I wrote THAT is the reason it is not just about being tired physically but it is mental tiredness, being down etc. Why do people then still try to persuade me to still keep going because THEY don't want to be alone.
Just venting. Thanks for listening 
Forgot something. I also have an email ready for another thing I am in....our church bulletin and a special committee that does special services in church. I would like to have a time-out there as well...I WILL do the Easter service...that is almost ready and I will NOT leave them in the lurch. But after that I would like to stop as well....just have ME time for a while. Haven't sent that one out yet...am afraid to do so now. Am afraid to be labeled as being selfish....whining etc. I also realise there are people here that have worse things happening in their life, I really do know that.
Maybe I AM selfish.
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
http://pinkprincessdecorating.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me, my home and my crafts
Farmgirl sister # 2410 |
Edited by - dutchy on Mar 30 2011 09:17:17 AM |
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karla
True Blue Farmgirl
1308 Posts
karla
Pella
Iowa
USA
1308 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2011 : 09:29:55 AM
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Sometimes they just don't get it! I have the same thing & am going through it now! Do you suppose the long winter season makes it worse? I just don't feel like doing anything! I feel like I am spinning when I need to do something! It is a bit overwhelming! You can only feel guilty if you let it get to you. Don't let it get to you. Take some time for just you! It is time well deserved. Here is a verse I tape to my mirror when I am feeling this way!
Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
http://rua2j-grammysheirlooms.blogspot.com/ |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2011 : 10:59:16 AM
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Dutchy Dear, I feel for you. I have been feelin just so 'uhh' for a while now. I am spendin more time to myself and have had all the complaints from family and church friends about it. I simply ignore it. I do what I and my family need and that's enough for now. I will come out of it eventually, but the state of this world is makin it hard on all of us.
I just remember that even our lord had times like this. He would go off to be by himself to pray and be alone. He went out to the wilderness to be alone and prepare himself, where he was tormented. He even had the disciples take him out in a boat to move away from the crowds of people.
I figure if he needed to be alone sometimes there is nothing wrong with us bein alone sometimes either.
Do what is right for you. Don't let people drain you or you won't be able to keep goin.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2011 : 11:43:18 AM
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Oh my dear you sound like you are going through a depression and could use a good hug!! You might want to try taking St. Johns Wort, it's great for depression and might get you feeling like your old self again. And for those that "don't get it", the heck with them do what you need to do to take care of yourself and don't get guilted into doing anything.
Big Hugs, Kathy |
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karla
True Blue Farmgirl
1308 Posts
karla
Pella
Iowa
USA
1308 Posts |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2011 : 4:31:34 PM
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The thing is EVERY one has limits, weather it's time, mental health, physical health, energy etc. You are simply setting your bounderies up with those limits. Some people get very upset about such. Either they are selfish, don't understand, or simply aren't your friends. I don't know friend B to know which she is. I would try to just assume it's she doesn't understand just for the benefit of the doubt. Other then that just do as was was said, ignore them. Your true friends will be your friends weather you are on this committee or that committee doing this or that, or just being at home. As was also said, even Jesus took time to be by himself and meditate I think we all need our own hobbies (that don't have to do with any one else but our own pleasure) and some time alone and to rebalance ourselves. It's hard to find our center when constantly distracted by one project after another! It's time for you to have some self centering time, finding your balance. That being said, try not to sit and vegetate. That usually results in wheel spinning. Maybe do something that is PURE recreation-some sort of hobby or book you just haven't had time to do that brings you real pleasure! Get outside (even if it's just on your own porch, the sun can really really have a effect on our mood!), and st john's wort really can help, along with vitamin b's! Especially b12. Make sure you are eating as healthy as possible-lots of fruits, and veggies, and beans have a lot of the minerals and vitamins needed to help our mental health, along with plenty of nuts and fatty fish. Those omega three's can have a real effect on our mood as well. Get out and take a walk around your house if you can, take some pics of nature that you like or what not. Exercise can have a great effect on our mood too. But, I would do some form of exercise (weather is be walking, hiking, swimming, bike riding) by yourself so you can just BE. I find exercising by myself very theraputic, I can really work my problems out in my mind with out the distraction of another person and just conversing with myself, while being out in the sunshine and releasing the endorphines bodies release while exercising. I hope all this helps. I can just tell you from personal experience though as tempting as it is, if you just set in your house and vegetate (I did it once for a year, I didn't go any where! I mean, I didn't even leave my front door to get my own mail!) it didn't help and just got me deeper and deeper in a depression and almost agoraphobic! But, the more I get out (especially on my own) and got the sun, and exercise etc, along with healthy eating, the better I felt and the more I could be around others and feel good!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Arctic Flower
True Blue Farmgirl
85 Posts
Marjorie
Nenana
Alaska
USA
85 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2011 : 5:13:42 PM
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Marian,
I recently read that us humans don't get in contact with the planet enough. I thought "what?". Then I read on. It said that as kids playing outside we are touching the earth, falling down, playing, running barefoot in the summer. The earth vibrates at a certain frequency and so do we. So the article said we need to go outside and stand on the ground barefoot and get re-energized. Well, I have been feeling like you too, so when the snow melts here, I plan on bare-footing right outside and see if I can re-energize. Until then I try to get 30 minutes of direct sunlight everyday and that is helping perk me up. And one more thing, I don't think it is so bad to be by yourself and do some "thinking". Sometimes the brain needs a lot of time to sort through all the daily stresses. A cup of hot tea and staring out the window feels good while being wrapped up in your favorite "blankie". I am sending you a big hug to the other side of the world.
Feel better real soon!!!
Farmgirl #2416
Believe in the power of Love! |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2011 : 11:02:46 PM
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Thanks all :) Haven't heard from friend A or the other lady yet. I WILL not go to choir practice anymore for the time being...of that I am sure :)
I do go on my bike every day..it is my job to deliver mail....that is good and the weather is so nice now, sunny and getting a little armer every day too. And I do read a good book when I am in bed lol. That is something I love to do as well so....
Yes I realise I do need those vitamins as well. And you know, I am SO looking forward to spend a month with my brother in Thailand in June! THAT is something I live for right now, my upcoming vacation. Thanks for the advice and virtual hugs
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
http://pinkprincessdecorating.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me, my home and my crafts
Farmgirl sister # 2410 |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2011 : 11:18:05 PM
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oh I hope you can have fun in thailand, I used to just pine for my vacations too! Thankfully I live in the woods now and can finally relax! I've also went to very clean eating..and it's helping as well. I'm actually enjoying the few times I am around people now! I used to dread it! lol haha Not because I didn't like people, I was just over exposed to people, living in a large city like I was when I lived in NYC I just felt toxified by too many people, never any time to one's self! Always surrounded, and like a sardine! I mean the subway, YUCK! I would have my nose in either woman's armpits or man's crotches cause I am so short, it wasn't the most odor friendly place to have one's nose! And to just be crushed by all the people all the time, drove me nuts. I used to pine for our camping trips just to get away from the masses! Finally I can sigh relief when I am home and away from all that!
I think by you taking this break you will find your balance again, and find yourself once more. Hopefully your vacation will help even more so! Sounds like you have a awesome job, my dream job! I can see you now, I am picturing Angela Lansbury biking around Cabot's Cove right now! lol haha
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2011 : 12:22:20 AM
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LOL Heather...I am somewhat younger than Angela though HAHA. But the feeling must be the same indeed. I DO live in a small village now, not even 1000 peeps. I came from a large city...I know the feeling about the armpits...but they were mine other people were smelling duh. I am a little over 6 feet tall. Sometimes I miss the hustle and bustle of the big city but then I go with the little bus and am there in 30 minutes, enjoy 2 hrs of the business and then hop on the bus and am back in my village. A good feeling indeed...clean air.....trees....aaaaaaaaaa 
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
http://pinkprincessdecorating.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me, my home and my crafts
Farmgirl sister # 2410 |
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Ingrid
True Blue Farmgirl
432 Posts
Ingrid
BC
Canada
432 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2011 : 07:46:22 AM
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Sometimes everyday things just become too much and it is a good thing to take a break. This time of year - weather is usually very unsettled - I think you have similar stormy, rainy weather as me here. The other part of this time of year is lots of people start feeling down in general. I think it is lack of sunshine. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is do what is best for you and please don't let anyone else try to make you feel guilty. People use the guilt trip for their own personal reasons so you will do what they want. Keep your chin up and hope you feel better soon.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2011 : 08:16:32 AM
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Marian, Wishing you brighter days and a peaceful heart. Someone said "It's none of my business what someone else thinks about me." Had to think about that but finally decided it was true. I was giving away to much of myself being concerned about their perception of me. After all it was just their perception. They can call me a chair but that does not make me a chair! Stand in your truth and don't worry about them. Go on as if your truth was their truth. Treat them just the same as always. Reacting to them just gives them power. You know what is best for you, do it. They can cope or they can resist. But you don't have to participate in the resistance. Observe their behavior objectively like a news reporter. That's how I get through some family gatherings! Lots of clichés in this post I know but they are clichés because they have been helpful enough to be useful. :)
Moods and feelings come and go. It will get better!
Hugs on you,
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: contemplating things- kinda long |
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contemplating things- kinda long
