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Farm Kitchen:  When you ask guests to bring dinner items...  |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 1:45:10 PM
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especially if they're coming from almost 3 hours away, a) give them an easy way out (chips, salsa, that sort of thing) or b) don't tell them they can't use your oven for 10 minutes.
I swear. Thanksgiving can be a real hassle! My sil asked me to bring the pumpkin pie and the sweet potatoes, then decided that she would ask her dad to bring the sweet potatoes because she couldn't think of anything to tell him to bring, and now this afternoon, she asked me via Facebook to bring an appetizer but, but I don't know how I'm supposed to actually "make" anything if she won't allow me to "premake" them at my house and then use her oven (because, she has a Wolff double oven). I've tossed out three different ideas, all of which I can premake at my house and assemble, but bake for 10 minutes max to serve, and she's said, "yeah, the turkey..." but doesn't offer any other suggestions. It's VERY frustrating, because, this group of people frowns on cheeseballs and chips and salsa, especially on Thanksgiving. They're more of a "Gourmet magazine" crowd...but I work until 5:30 the day prior, and then have to go home and make the pie (and whatever appetizer...), then the next day, drive up to their house by 12:30 so that we can eat at 5:00 then back home the almost three hours in the dark. She is a stay at home mom who's mother has been there since Saturday to help get ready...so, why am I the one put out with this appetizer?
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
Edited by - FebruaryViolet on Nov 21 2011 1:49:59 PM |
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one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 2:21:26 PM
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Cheez whiz and Ritz.
“It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.”-Charlie Brown |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2954 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2954 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 2:25:13 PM
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Amen Trish
or spam on saltines |
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one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 2:28:30 PM
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Make some hummus, or buy it, and put it in your dish, add some roasted red peppers in oil, pita chip, or sesame crackers, and Deli olives.
“It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.”-Charlie Brown |
Edited by - one_dog_per_acre on Nov 21 2011 2:29:09 PM |
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acairnsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
1319 Posts
audrey
cheyenne
wy
1319 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 4:03:58 PM
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Could you make something from home then wrap it up with a heated brick and wrapped in foil and lots of towels? Or why not bring a small toaster oven with you then when you get there you can set it up on an end table in the living room and heat what you need too. I can't believe she can't squeeze your item in the oven for a few minutes!
Audrey
.jpg) Good boy Hobbs! I love and miss you. |
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woolgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
901 Posts
Elizabeth
Great Lakes
IL
USA
901 Posts |
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Tea Lady
True Blue Farmgirl
645 Posts
Lorraine
Morris
IL
USA
645 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 4:17:31 PM
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Ditto on Trish's suggestion - she sounds way too picky. Or just bring the pie. That's more than enough.
Liz - words to live by... :o)
Lorraine
(aka Tea Lady)
Farmgirl #1819
www.birdsandteas.com |
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Lessie Louise
True Blue Farmgirl
1406 Posts
Carol
PECULIAR
MO
USA
1406 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 5:19:54 PM
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Take a block of cream cheese, put a jar of jalapeno jelly over it and bring on the Ritz
or the soup crackers with the Hidden Valley salad dressing. Good Luck!
....it's what's inside a women, when she's up against the land.
Farmgirl #680!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/lessielouise22 |
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ivmeer
True Blue Farmgirl
409 Posts
Amanda
Pawtucket
RI
USA
409 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 6:41:54 PM
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| It drives me nuts that people don't let me host and just make my own food. I'm on your side. |
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ivmeer
True Blue Farmgirl
409 Posts
Amanda
Pawtucket
RI
USA
409 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 6:45:51 PM
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| OK, here's a good take it with you recipe; Log of goat cheese, honey, a few tablespoons of cream cheese: mix or puree. Add some dried cherries or cranberries, pine nuts (optional), honey, and cinnamon and stir with spoon to combine. Form into ball, roll in sliced almonds. Serve with snotty crackers. |
Edited by - ivmeer on Nov 22 2011 08:03:59 AM |
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22angel
True Blue Farmgirl
498 Posts
Pam
Manitoba
Canada
498 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2011 : 8:32:05 PM
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I don't have a solution, but Liz, what you said reminds me of Pinkalicious "you get what you get & you don't get upset!" (It's a children's book lol, and they love it! Too bad they didn't always remember it!).
Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself.
"When I grow up, I want to be dirt." seen on a box through construction in Wyoming 2010 |
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one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 03:57:40 AM
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I think you should bring alcohol as an appetizer, sounds like you'll need it. That is really the ONLY think I ask people to bring, ever, unless I run out of butter or something, and they call on their way.
“It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.”-Charlie Brown |
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ivmeer
True Blue Farmgirl
409 Posts
Amanda
Pawtucket
RI
USA
409 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 05:39:56 AM
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| If people insist on bringing something, I tell them to bring flowers. |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 06:49:58 AM
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Thanks girls, these posts have both made me laugh and given me good suggestions. Apparently, she asked my other mil to bring one, too (?) and all I could think was: "what exactly are you doing that you couldn't come up with some guacamole or something?" I love her, but she lives in this sort of "alter reality" where somehow, she has no time, even though she doesn't work and her kids are in school and she goes out with the girls for "girls night"---um, I have never had one of those and she gets her nails and hair done bi-monthly...um, never had a manicure and my hair is done biannually...I realize being a SAHM can be really hectic, especially when they're little and still underfoot, but when they're both in school, I'm thinking I could get a heck of a lot done!
A few years ago, when my mil hosted Thanksgiving, she has a bug the week prior but called the Saturday before Thanksgiving to say she didn't think she'd be able to make the sweet potatoes....for the coming THURSDAY because she'd been sick. So, it fell to me, along with the 2 other dishes I was making. The problem is, they've always called her "the princess" so she acts like one and gets away with that sort of behavior.
@Amanda...love your post! "Serve with snotty crackers..." that's awesome. I told my other mil yesterday that I was stressed about it because I don't have a lot of time, and she isn't interested in letting us use the oven so it will have to be something easy. She said, "why are you stressed about it?" And I said, "because I'm not going to be the one they talk nasty about--I've heard them (my sil and other mil) rip people apart for their "non-cooking skills" after they leave, or that they brought something better suited to an outdoor bbq...I refuse to be that person! For my daughter's 2nd birthday, I made a cheeseball, a recipe that I got from a lovely farmgirl, one that I took to work and had none to take home, and they didn't TOUCH it. I heard them later say, "I don't eat cheeseballs...too....I don't know." With a shrug of the shoulders.
Colour me versatile, but I can knock back a cheeseball better than anybody, and turn around and eat something that impresses a foodie like fig jam and gorgonzola toasts. I just like food and I have NO hangups about that!!!!
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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ivmeer
True Blue Farmgirl
409 Posts
Amanda
Pawtucket
RI
USA
409 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 08:15:22 AM
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I added some details to my cheeseball recipe that I realized that I'd left out.
Okay, so let's think about this...what sort of things do these people eat? They don't like cheeseball, but I'm assuming that jello salad or whatever would be frowned upon?
Here's my Thanksgiving chillover recipe:
1 Tablespoon chillover powder
1 can coconut milk
1 cup shredded fresh coconut
1 jar sour cherries in juice (like Sophia or Marco Polo), drained, juice reserved
Enough sour cherry juice (Heirloom Farms or Knudsen, or Whole Foods makes a generic, I think) to make a little less than 2 cups (I think it comes to 14 oz.)
Cook coconut milk with chillover powder until it boils for a few minutes, remove from heat, add juice and fruit, put in 6-cup gelatin mold sprayed with Pam. Chill until set.
I also do a pina colada chillover with crushed pineapple, pineapple juice, and coconut milk, and you can add some shredded coconut. |
Edited by - ivmeer on Nov 22 2011 08:16:31 AM |
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ivmeer
True Blue Farmgirl
409 Posts
Amanda
Pawtucket
RI
USA
409 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 08:17:27 AM
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| Would they eat homemade hummus and baba ganouj? |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 08:30:03 AM
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Perhaps--I found a recipe that calls for cream cheese, spread with a cranberry/apple chutney and green onion, to be served with blue cheese or stilton shortbread. It sounds easy, good and transportable. I'm not sure if they'd eat hummus or baba ganouj, because neither my mil or my sil will eat Pesto because they say it tastes funny...Regardless, I have to get my ducks in a row because my husband has to work this evening and next (and we are now a one car family, so he will need the car) so I have VERY limited time to decide on something and get ingredients--since I'm working today and tomorrow, also, that leaves me very little movement. All the while she's probably hanging out at her house!
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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ivmeer
True Blue Farmgirl
409 Posts
Amanda
Pawtucket
RI
USA
409 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 10:34:08 AM
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| You know, maybe next year you should consider doing your own Thanksgiving at home rather than be bullied into driving yourself crazy to cook for people who are going to be unappreciative anyway. It occurs to me that you deserve more than you're getting here. |
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henlady35904
True Blue Farmgirl
295 Posts
Kim
Gadsden
Alabama
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 10:46:06 AM
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Carry the pie and forget the rest. My dear sweet Momma use to tell me... sticks and stones may break my bones, but there words will never hurt me. Good luck!
Farmgirl Sister #2667 |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 10:50:55 AM
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@ Amanda, you know, you're not the only person who's said this to me (including my husband). I swore last year, when it was about 20 degrees, raining like we needed an Ark, and 25 minutes on to I-74, Violet got car sick, "next year, we're not doing this!" and here I am again. I always feel pulled to do things for everyone else, especially during the holiday season. It's tough because my husband has this "nuclear fall out family" where his mom and dad divorced, both remarried and my mil and step mil are now best friends, and there is an amiable relationship between my fil and step fil, too. We kill two birds with one stone, so to speak, but I often wonder if it's at the expense of sanity.
Kim, your momma was a good advice giver--I talked with my other mil and she's elected to make two appetizers so I don't have to think about it anymore :)
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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forgetmenot
True Blue Farmgirl
3602 Posts
Judith
Nora Springs
IA
USA
3602 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 10:55:19 AM
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I love Kim's idea! They will probably have lots of munchies anyway. However, your appetizer sounds yummy and easy to set up and pack. Sounds elegant. Good luck with your decision.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the belief that something is more important than fear." Ambrose Red Moon |
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forgetmenot
True Blue Farmgirl
3602 Posts
Judith
Nora Springs
IA
USA
3602 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 10:57:54 AM
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Whoops! I just read the rest of the posts...glad you're off the hook. Now, you can relax. (Think I will try your appetizer though..for Christmas gathering) Right now I'm busy freaking out over Thanksgiving.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the belief that something is more important than fear." Ambrose Red Moon |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 4:24:52 PM
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Seems to me it would be happier memories for you to spend them at home with your nuclear family, and maybe you could invite a few neighbors into the "family" for the meal Jonni. but, that's just my take.
I dunno, I only had one "aunt" who used to request certain things, always the hardest most expensive thing from my mother, and grandmother (her sister and mother). And then she would take the credit for either making or buying them! After a few years mom and grandma got tired of it in a hurry and it was a relief to not go any more!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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njaw09
True Blue Farmgirl
397 Posts
Annie
NJ
USA
397 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2011 : 08:13:34 AM
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Jonni-
One of my sister-in-law is a "princess" too. She sound exactly like my sister-in-law. I don't listen to her anymore though. I just let her blah, blah, blah...one ear in and out it goes.
We usually bring shrimp cocktails, chips & dips, alcohol, or cookies for picky hostess/host. Most of the host/hostess I know is quite frank & they tell me upfront of what they want us to bring. I don't take it to heart if they eat or drink it. As long in my heart knows I did my share I don't care what they do with it even if they trash it afterwards. |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2011 : 08:24:40 AM
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Annie,
It's a real difficult thing, isn't it? I just figure, I'll make the pie and since my mil has the other stuff covered, I'm not going to worry about it. After 10 years, you'd think I'd get better at just being "ok" with not stressing over this, but I think I'm subconsciously making up for my husband's lack of interest in his own family.
The other part of my conversation with her that I didn't mention (b/c it wasn't about the food) was about my niece's gift for Christmas. See, my sil gives us "approved lists" of items that she "scouts" or that our niece and nephew have asked for. The larger items go on the grandparents lists, and the medium to smaller items to us or her other brothers. This year, our niece asked for a Lolaloopsy (??) doll. I'd never heard of it, but went to Target and found them. I found a "collector" edition, that was much more than the others, but they've just redone her "Paris" themed, all hot pink and black, and this doll was French themed. So, I asked if she thought she would like it and her answer was, "I'll have to ask her and see..." DON'T BOTHER!!! It's supposed to be a Christmas gift, why would you tell her what she "might" be getting from me to see her reaction? And, just like the food thing, it's all according to her directives.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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Farm Kitchen: When you ask guests to bring dinner items... |
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When you ask guests to bring dinner items...
