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Across the Fence:  Friendship And The Joie De Vivre  |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
 Posted - May 04 2013 : 09:16:48 AM
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Last night, a dear friend stopped by to drop off her saved compostables. We hadn't seen each other in weeks (life... it happens), so, of course we were catching up on things. As we walked out to the compost bin, we finally had a chance to catch up on weeks of whatchabeendoin's and share the cares and concerns of our days.
As we passed the garden gate, I excitedly showed her all the baby plants peeping up through the soil in my garden - my lettuce will be ripe for picking in a couple of weeks! I shared my excitement over the different vegetables I'm trying this year, and she rolled her eyes at my enthusiastic anticipation about planting the rest of the garden tomorrow. She appreciates fresh veggies as well as the next girl, but digging around manure and compost and getting dirt under the nails is just not her thing - the farmer's market, however, IS. ;)
We talked about how difficult things had been since her dad passed, and all the responsibilities that brought upon her. She spends most of her after work time now spending time and caring for her mom at the nursing home, and running errands, making appointments and transporting her back and forth. She is very overwhelmed; her life is just not her own. Seeing our dear old dog (whom she and everyone else we know absolutely adores!) failing really made my friend sad. Life is so hard when you get older, she remarked. Yes, I replied, so much for the "golden years." I told her how our dear old girl still manages to perk up and give the squirrel a good run for its money every day, though. Her burst of energy may only last a minute or a few steps or so, but she still enjoys the chase. Life is harder when we get older, yes, but God sends lots of little blessings that make it well worth living! That seemed to recall a happy memory to her mind; my friend stared off in the distance and smiled. :)
I showed her my new readers (which, to me, are the greatest things since sliced bread) and gave her a cool pair in a color I knew she'd really like. (She collects them - she has a special pair to match almost every outfit she owns! LOL!) We laughed about the pin I gave her last year. She smirked and remarked that I had made fun of her... The pin was a pair of funky sunglasses with dangly earrings on either side of it. I wasn't making fun of her - it was just SO her. (Well, maybe I was teasing her a little!) Boy did that make us laugh! SO true! TOO funny!
She asked if I had been using my clothesline yet. Of course, since the weather has been so nice, I had. She marveled at how I am contented to waste so much time clipping and unclipping my clothes all for the love of that fresh-air smell. Have I not heard of Bounce? I laughed. There was a time I felt like she did; would she ever understand? I relayed to her stories about my argumentative encounters with the militant bumblebee guarding our back door, who seems to thoroughly enjoy attempting to intimidate me while I'm hanging the laundry. She laughed and commented that I am such a nut. I giggled. Admittedly so, I must be quite the entertainment for my elderly next-door neighbor. But I don't care. Dueling with the little dive-bombing bugger is a happy, welcomed sport for me, especially because last year hardly any bees came around at all. She just shook her head and smiled. Now SHE was making fun of ME! ;)
She wanted to know if I was making today's dinner in the sun oven - something smelled really good. I had sent a picture to her of the apple cake I made with it, so she wanted to check it out. Of course, the one day she stops by is the one day I didn't use it! That was okay, but she was concerned - "Is it safe?" "OF COURSE it's safe!" I replied. I showed it to her and explained how it worked. She busted out laughing in relief - she had had a picture of me putting a pot of food out there in the midday sun and hoping for the best (City girls! LOL!).
While she was washing out her compost container, I told her how excited I was about this great new toaster I found at Costco. My last one, which cost a bit more and was a very cheap off brand, ended up dying last week. It overheated and, thankfully, we caught it in time as the plastic started melting. I didn't want to spend a lot of money on a toaster, but I found this new one from KitchenAid, of all things, for under $30! It has this amazing bagel setting that perfectly browns the top of the bagel to a light crunch, but leaves the bottom all chewy. She stopped, turned to me and said, "You know, you get so excited over the weirdest things."
I knew what she was thinking: how in the world can you possibly find joy in compost and lettuce and the dog chasing the squirrel and new readers and hanging clothes and bees and cooking with the sun and toasters and ALL of the crazy stuff you do? How did we become friends?
I laughed and said, "I know... But you've got to find joy in the little things. They make you happy! They're what keep you going! It's not like I'm taking a Carribean cruise anytime soon, after all. It's all about finding your 'joie de vivre!'"
She smiled and laughed. She knew what I meant. You see, she and I are very different, which sometimes makes it so hard to believe we're such good friends. Some would say she's a glitz-and-glamor girl; she loves fancy manicures, glittery expensive jewelry, fancy clothes, new cars, dancing at nightclubs and exotic vacations. Most consider me to be extremely laid-back and unconventional. I homeschool, make things from scratch, preserve foods, love papercrafting, and define an exciting afternoon as one spent getting dirty in the garden. We are of the same faith, but our beliefs are very different; and each of us have very strong opposing political convictions. Needless to say, we've had some very interesting conversations into which most would never even dare to venture. ;) And I wouldn't call her a pessimist, exactly, but she's rarely impressed by my "Pollyanna" view of the world. She considers herself to be a pragmatic realist, and me, more of a annoying cheerful hopeful. I take the Lamont Sanford stance, "You're you, and I'm me, and that's why I love you." ;)
It's all good, though. In the grand scheme of things, those particular joies de vivre of ours are only superficial. Deep down, we're truly not all that different, and our truest joys in life are actually very much alike. We both love God; we are dedicated to family; we both strive to better the community and love our country... We both enjoy sharing a good recipe; we both easily get lost in a good book (although usually very different subjects). Every once in a while, we enjoy a good glass of wine while relaxing in the orchard and listening to an open air band at the winery. Coffee is a morning mainstay at both our homes; and for us, life is just not complete without a bountiful salad and a bowl of fresh fruit on the table. We both love mint freshly plucked from the garden and fragrant flowers - lots of beautiful, fragrant flowers. Hospitality is of utmost importance to both of us, too. Unexpected guests may find our homes in a bit of disarray, but we know the offer of something delicious will pull their attention away from the cobwebs. You'll never come to either of our homes without finding something good to serve waiting at the ready. Cooking meals for our loved ones and planning life celebrations are a thrill for both of us, and there is nothing like sharing the stories and pictures afterwards. We like being girly girls, playing with makeup and our hair and getting all gussied up for special occasions; but neither of us mind rolling up our sleeves and getting dirty in necessary housework. We both love to make things with our hands - she crochets, I papercraft. Our hearts are always mindful of the needs and care of others, and we can't bear to hear of a need an not try to help ensure it is met - we both share a heart to serve. And one of the things I love about our friendship most is that we share a deep appreciation for honesty spoken in love. Our friendship is such a blessing, truly.
So, when she looks at me at a sense of wonder because of the strange little things that make me happy, I can't help but smile. Outside looking in, yeah: it IS pretty amazing how we've become such close friends. Despite our very different approaches to and appreciations in life, however, it's really not such a wonder. At a first, superficial glance, we do seem to be complete opposites; but deep down, we find great happiness in sharing very similar joies de vivre. :)
I think I'm going to give her a quick call today and just remind her how happy SHE makes my life... And that's a VERY big deal! :)
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Edited by - Ninibini on May 04 2013 12:16:08 PM |
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kysheeplady
True Blue Farmgirl
1291 Posts
Teri
KY
USA
1291 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2013 : 09:59:49 AM
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Nini,
What a great story, thanks for sharing ... we all have to be true to ourselves, that is what makes us truly happy!
I also have a very good friend, that is completely the oppisite, and yes it works, we do a lot of head shaking at each other at times,but I would not change one thing about her and know she would not change a thing about me.
Teri
"There are black sheep in every flock"
White Sheep Farm
www.whitesheepfarm.com |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
14022 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
14022 Posts |
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lovinRchickens
True Blue Farmgirl
3563 Posts
Kelly
Pipe Creek
Texas
USA
3563 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2013 : 10:22:35 AM
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Nini...wow how wonderfully written. How true it is, and what a blessing as well.
Farmgirl #5111
Blessings
~Kelly~ |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9782 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9782 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2013 : 11:38:11 AM
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Beautiful story and a beautiful friendship celebrated by sharing your story. Thank you for the inspiration to be grateful for the wonderful and dear friends I have. We all have our stories and I just love when someone will ask my friend and I how long we have know each other. It has been years and years but we just look at each other with a twinkle in our eye for all the good times we have had wrapped up in those years, and we say quite a while.
Thanks for sharing Nini.
farm girl sister#43
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2013 : 12:17:05 PM
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Thanks, girls! You all make my life so much happier, too! :) Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2013 : 12:32:27 PM
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| Nini I've been away for some time and it was a blessing to find your story. Made me feel at home, back with my sincere, caring and fun farmgirl sisters. It's been to long. So glad to be back. Friendships can't be picked out or bought, they are blessings from God. Thank you for sharing. Hugs, Brenda |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2013 : 12:38:50 PM
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My best friend and I were like that. I have NO idea how we bacame such good friends. But we were totally opposite. I was country and make it myself and hang out my clothes in Jan. and she was all into new dishwashers and the latest gadgets to make her life easier. But we were the best of friends for 25 years. And she died 2 years ago this month. I miss her more than ever still. We had the best times together. Our kids were about the same ages. We had birthday parties together. We went camping. And oh the shopping we did together. Such fun we had. But the things I miss most are the nights I would either go to her house or she'd come to mine, and we'd have hot tea or coffee and pie or something and talk about our kids or husbands. The wonderful memories. But we were so not alike at all. I think that makes the friendship last longer myself.
Kris
The good beekeeper is generally more or less cranky. C.P. Dadant
www.kris-outbackfarm.blogspot.com
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9782 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9782 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2013 : 5:05:30 PM
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Kris,
What a blessing for you and for your friend to have each other. So sorry she is gone now but from reading your post you have wonderful memories to hold on to.
Hugs
farm girl sister#43
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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texdane
Farmgirl Legend Chapter Leader Chapter Guru
4658 Posts
Nicole
Sandy Hook
CT
USA
4658 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2013 : 5:16:36 PM
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Beautiful post, my dear sweet friend. I'm behind on my emails and am needing to email you directly and get caught up. Reading this post, I wish we were neighbors!!!
Hugs,
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Farmgirl of the Month, January 2013
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
3019 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
3019 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2013 : 5:53:03 PM
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Me too Nini!! I get excited about new clothespins, and hubs & I just spent the last few hrs putting new chicks with adults.. Chick-O-Vision.. Excited to cut up an old flannel sheet into nice sized rags. Excited that when I went to the grocery I could pass up the meat dept entirely, since I have a freezer and canned pantry full of local meat(including hubs 1st venison) Excited that grass is growing & I can let the chicks have cuttings, & the goats can have invasive honeysuckle branches. Excited that my neighbor & I walked up & down hills with walking poles & burned a few calories & managed to score a few wild lilacs & asparagus. & most of all...my fingernails are caked with dirt.. & I will not clean them out for church.. It is a tradition. Hubs & I sit in the pew; I show him my nails & he grins..
"We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” – R.R. |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2013 : 7:54:07 PM
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Thanks for sharing your beautiful story. I think a lot of people miss out on potential friendships by just not giving it the time to get to really know someone.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
4562 Posts
Diane
Waupaca
WI
USA
4562 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2013 : 04:57:39 AM
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Nini,
You are such a wonderful writer! I feel every word you write. I always look forward to your posts. Thank you for my joies de vivre.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922
I am trying to be the person my dogs think I am.
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White |
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AuntPammy
True Blue Farmgirl
488 Posts
Pamila
williamstown
wv
USA
488 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2013 : 05:39:10 AM
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Nini,
Thank you for this lovely post! You brought the joies de vivre to my heart...I can't stop smiling! Girlfriends are like puzzle pieces, we are each different,yet fit together nicely when we are together. Thanks again, this was a lovely post.
Pam
"We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find."
Source Unknown |
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2013 : 05:39:18 AM
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Nini - excellent post. I too love to look for joy in the everyday things too, sometimes feeling guilty for not having more lofty pursuits! But life is a blessing, one on another, if you just look around and see. I call them "delights". Like your post! It was a delight to read.
Farmgirl #31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2013 : 4:57:05 PM
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Nini,
I loved your story- and so many true and good points you make!
very well written, and I really enjoyed reading it. I was picturing you with your friend each step of the way.
Sweet!
Hugs,
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
View my New Blog:
http://simplesuburbanpleasures.blogspot.com
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant.
~Robert Louis Stevenson |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2013 : 04:32:54 AM
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Aw... thanks, girls. I just love all of you so much! Wouldn't it be a wonderful community if we really were all neighbors?! Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
14022 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
14022 Posts |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2013 : 09:23:05 AM
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You've got it, girlfriend!!! ;) Thoroughly looking forward to it!
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
14022 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
14022 Posts |
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Across the Fence: Friendship And The Joie De Vivre |
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Friendship And The Joie De Vivre
