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 Tired of being the caregiver!
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl

1903 Posts

Elyria OH
1903 Posts

Posted - Sep 05 2011 :  3:40:29 PM  Show Profile
dorinda...i am sooooooooooooooo glad to read your post tonite---
i can't stay online long or really say a whole lot of what i would like right now but i want to share something with you ---last summer; my (new to me) sister in law and i were talking and i was having a hard time understanding why she felt the way she did about one of her parents---she finally just said that she had had to "divorce them" --and it makes sense--love is a choice--and being treated as you have been is not being loved....
you need to love you and allow yourself to have life!!!!!
you go girl!!!!!!!!!
big hugs!

Farmgirl # 2139
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~
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True Blue Farmgirl

2817 Posts

Haysville Kansas
2817 Posts

Posted - Sep 05 2011 :  5:55:08 PM  Show Profile
She is still in the hissy fit stage, she will outgrow it or get bitter one or the other.

My mom did the same thing about me getting married, in fact, said she never wanted to speak to me again and all kinds of crazy things, now she denies she said any of that! but, she went plum nuts. She never wanted me to leave her, etc. Well it's natural to get married, and leave home that's the way life goes.

Any way she tried the controlling thing for a while but I didn't allow it, again there was some hissy fits but she got over it.

Now she has a DD that is 12, and she is always saying never leave me...the 12 y/o tells her she won't. Mom gets mad at me when ever I even suggest teaching the 12 year old anything that would make her independant......Ie how to wash clothes, how to cook food, etc. She doesn't want to hear a word of anything that would give her freedom to ever leave home. Right now she is 12 and I really don't have a say since my mom is the parent. But, believe me when she hits 18 I am not going to do anything to be mean to my mother, but I will let her know she doesn't HAVE to live at home for ever, she can learn to do things for herself and be her own person!

My mom loves to have people wait on her though, she even has this 12 year old literally wipe her butt for her...she's that lazy! She's not even very old yet..........UHG.

OTOH, my grandmother was like that too, and said some of the same things to me as well, glad I was sick, etc. When I went into the hospital after taking care of her, and I almost died from my own self neglect! After that and they said I only had 2 weeks to live, because of how much I had been taking care of every one but my self, I put my foot down, and I have put my own health first every since. I am by no means selfish, but how could I help any one if I was dead?
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