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Across the Fence:  Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!!  |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 25 2014 : 6:37:47 PM
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LOL! These really had me laughing! Thank you for keeping up the giggles, girls!
My godson just told me this one:
What does a dyslexic cow say?
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OoooooooM!
Hugs -
nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2014 : 09:19:59 AM
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Did you hear all the commotion about the paddle sale at the boat shop?
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I heard it was quite an oar deal!
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2014 : 10:04:23 AM
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Nini CUTE!
Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter!
Silly Boys Trucks Are For Girls |
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2014 : 10:13:24 AM
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My Husband's truck blew the engine and he drove my mini van to deliver honey to a couple of places. He gets back home and I notice he looks funny . I said "What's the matter?
He says: I think I lost my masculinity in that van?
Me: What are you talking about?
He: That van is to FooFooy babe. No 62 year old man should drive a mini van with a purple poodle in the window. I had to drive downtown on Washington street, it was embarrassing.
Me: LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!
This was my husband.
Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter!
Silly Boys Trucks Are For Girls |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2014 : 11:30:31 AM
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LOL! Marlee! Years ago, my husband swore he'd never own or even drive a mini van - it was, at the time, what he called his personal rebellion to save the last vestiges of his youth and preserve his manhood. Guess who won THAT battle? LOL!!! Silly, silly man...
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2014 : 3:48:14 PM
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AH! To funny. In less than a couple of weeks we will have a bronze Z71 4 wheel drive 4 door in our driveway my husband informed me!
Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter!
Silly Boys Trucks Are For Girls |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2014 : 02:56:20 AM
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My husband may want to trade wives, Marlee... LOL!
A Sunday school teacher began her lesson by posing a question. "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"
A little hand shot up in the air, "He is an artist!" one of the boys replied excitedly.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven...."
Happy Day!
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2014 : 08:06:12 AM
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Nini LOL! You crack me up sweet friend!
Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter!
Silly Boys Trucks Are For Girls |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2014 : 06:21:10 AM
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Why do they put bells on cows?
Because their horns don't work!
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2014 : 08:40:15 AM
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LOL! Ooooohmygosh... That one cracked me up, Susan!!!
Why did the grocer take out a prune?
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Because he couldn’t find a date.
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2014 : 7:52:55 PM
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I'm a gardener and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I plant all day!
I dress in grubby clothing, and hang around with slugs.
Oh I'm happy in the garden
With dirt and plants and bugs . . .
(to the tune of Monty Python's "I'm a Lumberjack")
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2014 : 11:26:20 AM
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People are like Potatoes!
Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are content to watch others ...
They are called "Speck Tators.
Some are always looking to cause problems and really get under your skin ...
They are called "Aggie Tators."
There are those who are always saying they will, but somehow, they never get around to doing
We call them "Hezzie Tators."
- From the laughalot-owner on the Net
Some folks spent a lot of time sitting and peering into their garden ...
They are called "Medi Tators."
There are those that try to maximize their crop yields while reducing expenses ...
We call them "Compu Tators."
- Mike Garofalo
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Apr 01 2014 : 3:21:27 PM
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Susan , I will call you butter because your on a roll! LOL
Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter!
Silly Boys Trucks Are For Girls |
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forgetmenot
True Blue Farmgirl
3602 Posts
Judith
Nora Springs
IA
USA
3602 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2014 : 08:43:46 AM
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I just heard this yesterday:
Now, you know why the chicken crossed the road.
To show the raccoon it could be done.
Farmgirl sister #3926
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the belief that something is more important than fear." Ambrose Red Moon |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2014 : 2:31:34 PM
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You Might Be A Mom If . . .
1. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor, and you don't care.
2. When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.
3. You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.
4. You spend an entire week wearing sweats.
5. Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.
6. Popsicles become a food staple.
7. Your favorite television show is a cartoon.
8. Peanut butter and jelly is eaten at least in one meal a day.
9. You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of where it is.
10. Your kids make jokes about bodily functions, and you think it's funny.
11. You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls...and HE hangs up on YOU!
12. Spit is your number one cleaning agent.
13. You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.
14. The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making Rice Krispie treats.
15. You're up each night until 10:00 P.M. vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding (them, not you), PLUS swinging, playing baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls, roller blading, basketball, football, catch, bubbles, sprinklers, slides, nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking the dog. You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink, or go to the bathroom, and yet...you still managed to gain 10 pounds.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2014 : 07:37:54 AM
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A little boy has been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten everyday since he started a month ago. Each day his mother admires the pictures and hangs them on the refrigerator.
One thing starts bothering her though. The boy only uses black and brown for his drawings.
Fearing a problem with her young son and not wanting to make it worse, she decides to take him to a child psychologist.
The psychologist delicately goes to work. He gives the boy a battery of psychological tests. He chats with him. Everything seems perfectly normal. Everyday for two weeks, the tests continue. Yet everyday, the boy continues to bring home drawings in only black and brown.
Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of the problem and fearful that something is terribly wrong, the child psychologist decides to give the kid some paper and a box of crayons and observe what happens.
The boy opens the box of crayons and says, "Oh boy! A new box of crayons! At school we only have old boxes. The only ones left in mine are black and brown!"
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2014 : 07:51:58 AM
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Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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katmom
True Blue Farmgirl
17025 Posts
Grace
WACAL Gal
WashCalif.
USA
17025 Posts |
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3919 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3919 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2014 : 09:22:02 AM
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Why did the girl swallow a fly?
Because she had a frog in her throat.
The 2nd graders I work with LOVE jokes and puns.
Marie, Sister #5142
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2014 : 7:33:31 PM
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Grace, I love the rooster picture with your post!
Marie, Yours reminded me of the kids I worked with when teaching, April Fools Day with first graders is a true riot. If any of their April Fools Jokes had any sense of possibility they would work better. It's hard to pretend to be fooled about an elephant in the hallway!
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2014 : 6:18:08 PM
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Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Apr 17 2014 : 08:34:59 AM
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The Rules of Chocolate Part 1
If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal.
It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2014 : 12:53:26 PM
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A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, “Jesus knows you’re here.” He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard “Jesus is watching you.” Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. “Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot. “Yep”, the parrot confessed, then squawked,
“I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.” The burglar relaxed. “Warn me,
huh? Who in the world are you?” “Moses,” replied the bird. “Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”
“The kind of people that would name a Pit Bull Jesus.”
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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katmom
True Blue Farmgirl
17025 Posts
Grace
WACAL Gal
WashCalif.
USA
17025 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2014 : 6:00:47 PM
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OK, Susan... you crack me up... and not just w/the chicken jokes (get it? crack me up?--snork, giggle)...
Everyone needs a snork giggle day... and I just had mine! lolol!
>^..^<
Happiness is being a katmom and Glamping Diva!
www.katmom4.blogspot.com & http://graciesvictorianrose.blogspot.com
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Across the Fence: Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!! |
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Let's Laugh Our Way Through 2015!!
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