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 GO FUND ME PAGE for Spouse with Pancreatic Cancer
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Author Family Matters:  GO FUND ME PAGE for Spouse with Pancreatic Cancer Next Topic
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl

3311 Posts

Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3311 Posts

Posted - Feb 22 2024 :  08:49:41 AM  Show Profile
***Daughter has established a Go Fund Me Page today in order to help with costs of travel from MI to Mayo in Rochester MN- meals- and lodging. If you are interested please go to the following link: https://gofund.me/b3f9f07b


just wanted to reach out to the wives whose husbands have cancer or experienced cancer and ask for help.

i am having a difficult time coping and we are only early days in this horror of a disease. weeks and weeks of scans and testing and today we meet with a dr. from a cancer center here to tell us what stage the cancer is and if it can be resected.

i want to be there for my husband of 33 years and now when he needs me the most i have become a cowering scared to death crybaby-i reached out to my dr. for anxiety/depression medication and begin that today.

if you have any words of advice how i can make my husband comfortable and how i can garner the strength to deal with this so that i don't break my vows of 'in sickness and in health.' it would mean the world to me.

mel

Edited by - melody on Mar 22 2024 12:07:55 PM

Wanda Sue
True Blue Farmgirl

1140 Posts

Wanda
Murrells Inlet SC
USA
1140 Posts

Posted - Feb 22 2024 :  09:44:29 AM  Show Profile
Melody, I don’t have any advice but I sure know how to pray. I am lifting you and your husband up in prayer for strength, guidance and peace as you face these difficult days ahead. Also that the doctors will find just the right knowledge to progress in your husband’s treatment toward healing. I pray that just the right sister will see this, that can help you with good advice and be a friend to lean on. Sister love and hugs, Wanda Sue

A day hemmed in prayer is less likely to unravel.

Farm Girl #3677
Farmgirl of the Month: Aug/2022

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melody
True Blue Farmgirl

3311 Posts

Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3311 Posts

Posted - Feb 22 2024 :  09:50:01 AM  Show Profile
thank you Wanda.

Mel
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MaryJane
Queen Bee

16301 Posts

MaryJane
Moscow Idaho
USA
16301 Posts

Posted - Feb 22 2024 :  12:53:18 PM  Show Profile
My husband was diagnosed with incurable prostate cancer in March of 2017. He died August 21, 2022. In the beginning, we were told by his oncologist, "I'm pretty sure I can get you five more years." My husband's various surgeries and treatments, some of them experimental, did in fact give us five more years. I like to think we made those five years the best years of our 30 together. That was my goal, our goal, but it was rough, if not impossible, at times. Along the way, we came to realize how dedicated and genuine the people whose journey it was to help us, the doctors, the nurses. They will be your life line. Help them help you by showing kindness and compassion for how trying their job can be at times--the burn-out, the exhaustion, the impossibility of cancer.

Turn your despair into action, a list of things to do and say daily. Speak positively about the tiniest of things, anything, but let your husband see your tears. Encourage him to tell you what it's like for him. Pamper him in all the ways he loves to be pampered. If you end up where I'm at, you'll want to know that you gave him everything you'd want someone to give you if you found out you had cancer.

Do I miss my husband? Absolutely. It's an ache I live with. Did it feel dark and unfair at times? Yes. Do I have a deeper appreciate for life, my life? Yes.

Along the way, I kept up on possible trials my husband might qualify for. Recently, I came across the pioneering work of Dr. Catherine Wu. Below is an article I found about her work. Ask your care provider about the possibility of signing up for experimental treatments such as this one.

https://www.cnn.com/2024/02/20/health/cancer-vaccines-catherine-wu-scn/index.html


MaryJane, Farmgirl #1 Plowin' Thru ~ giving aprons a good wrap for 45 years and counting ~
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katmom
True Blue Farmgirl

17100 Posts

Grace
WACAL Gal WashCalif.
USA
17100 Posts

Posted - Feb 22 2024 :  1:52:24 PM  Show Profile
Oh Melody,,
I wish I had answers for you and your husband's trials and tribulations,, but alas I do not.. but.. I encourage you to take and embrace MaryJane's advice.. and remember,, your husband's medical support staff are there for you.
Also google search 'pancreatic support groups in your community... and.. just know, it is ok to cry,,, sometimes-days are more over whelming than others..
Embrace the time you have with your husband,,, quietly sit, hold his hand and listen to his favorite music,, sometimes quietly holding each other brings comfort for the moment.
You are not alone,, we here are wrapping you and your husband in love and prayers... we are there for you,,, lean on us..
Love and prayers for comfort and peace of heart and mind.
Grace


>^..^<
Happiness is being a katmom and Glamping Diva!
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl

3311 Posts

Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3311 Posts

Posted - Feb 22 2024 :  2:30:28 PM  Show Profile
THANK YOU so much - I can feel the love all the way here in the great north woods.
I appreciate the advice and the comfort you have provided- I needed this and I am so glad I popped back onto the forum after such a long time but I needed to hear from my farmgirls... and once again you pulled thru and gave me what I needed and for that I will be eternally grateful.

LOVE,

Mel
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Blessed in Colorado
True Blue Farmgirl

6490 Posts

Debbie L.
Oregon
USA
6490 Posts

Posted - Feb 22 2024 :  2:53:54 PM  Show Profile
Mel, we are always here for you, there is so much love and support as Farmgirls are always there for one another.

Big Hugs,
Debbie
#1582
Blessed in Oregon
With Colorado on My Mind
Farmgirl of the Month September 2012, February 2018, September 2022
“My altars are My Mountains
and the Ocean.” Lord Byron”

When I am Old I Shall Wear Purple, I am Old now!!


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VT Oma
True Blue Farmgirl

331 Posts

Sheila
Greensboro Vermont
USA
331 Posts

Posted - Feb 22 2024 :  3:04:17 PM  Show Profile
Melody, I am sorry to hear your news, and yes follow MaryJane's words of wisdom. You're a strong person, your higher self will help you to be there for your husband. Meditate, during walks or just by sitting and having some tea; read any type of words that sooth you be it nature or any type spiritual beliefs.

VT Oma
Sheila
Farmgirl #5766


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StitchinWitch
True Blue Farmgirl

2159 Posts

Judith
Galt CA
USA
2159 Posts

Posted - Feb 22 2024 :  3:29:55 PM  Show Profile
Melody -- I am thinking good thoughts for you and your husband. Do your best to stay positive, even if you have to fake it :-). Take advantage of any help you can get.

Mary Jane -- I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband and life partner.

Judith

7932 FGOTM 6/21
I'm old and I do wear purple
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Lacey
Chapter Guru

163 Posts

Rea
Davis Ca
USA
163 Posts

Posted - Feb 25 2024 :  6:13:50 PM  Show Profile
Melody I am so sorry to know your husband is going through this. Try and be as supportive as possible but remember to take time for yourself.
I have been where you are.. it is not always easy but we pray for the miracles along the way. My thoughts and prays are with you both.


Rea Nakanishi
Farm Girl Of The Month Jan. 2022
“Action is the foundational key to all success.”
– Pablo Picasso
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter

13590 Posts

CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores Colorado
USA
13590 Posts

Posted - Feb 25 2024 :  7:58:57 PM  Show Profile  Send ceejay48 a Yahoo! Message
Melody, I'm so very sorry to hear this and I can only imagine the things you are feeling. I've known you for quite a few years through this Connection and I hope that I can just encourage you in all you have to do. I know it will be tough and exhausting. I understand things to a point, having lost three of my siblings within 1 1/2 years . . . and most recently my sister-in-law from stage four colon/stomach/pancreatic cancer. I also am dealing myself with Parkinson's disease with a lot of other things along with it. I understand fear and uncertainty.
I will be praying for you and your hubby. Sending love and hugs as best I can!
CJ

..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665.
2010 Farmgirl Sister of the Year

living life - www.snippetscja.blogspot.com

from my heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com

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melody
True Blue Farmgirl

3311 Posts

Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3311 Posts

Posted - Mar 20 2024 :  2:38:05 PM  Show Profile


Day three at Mayo-Husband has a procedure tomorrow that will highly likely trip another pancreatitis episode but is a necessity for another biopsy-if all goes well we can go home for the weekend and then we head back to Mayo for Monday-Tuesday and a PET scan on Wednesday-if complications arrive then I don't know what will happen - more than likely ER and hospital stay-last time he was in for 9 days. It's awful expensive here and we have until Fri at our Airbnb-so we are trying to make meals here to save, but by the end of a long long day of scheduled appointments it's hard to get into the spirit of making dinner-usually right after we are off to bed to prepare for another round of appointments the following day. It's sort of a blur and we are moving at a phenomenal rate thru the appointments, but I miss home, I miss my bed-and my husband, my darling daughter and my son-in-law Evan are exhausted. Keep us in your prayers and good thoughts. Thank you my farmgirls for listening. Love, Melody
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suny58
True Blue Farmgirl

4342 Posts

Dianna
Jack Al.
USA
4342 Posts

Posted - Mar 20 2024 :  3:19:35 PM  Show Profile
Oh my Melody!!! I'm praying hard! God bless you all with strength and stamina and healing!!

Farmgirl #7103
FGOTM January 2018
Dianna
"Blessed are they that see beautiful things in humble places, where other people see nothing." Pissarro
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Red Tractor Girl
True Blue Farmgirl

6548 Posts

Winnie
Gainesville Fl
USA
6548 Posts

Posted - Mar 20 2024 :  4:19:06 PM  Show Profile
Melody, praying for you, husband and all your family for these long exhausting days. I hope you will be able to go back home this coming weekend and relax. Keeping you in my thoughts every day for strength and healing! Take care and lots of hugs to you!

Winnie #3109
Red Tractor Girl
Farm Sister of the Year 2014-2015
FGOTM- October 2018
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Jokamartell
True Blue Farmgirl

1476 Posts

Karen
Kennewick WA
USA
1476 Posts

Posted - Mar 20 2024 :  7:57:17 PM  Show Profile
Many, many prayers, Melody.

Karen :)

To quote one of my past preschoolers “Not one of those Karens, but a good Karen”! Haha
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl

3311 Posts

Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3311 Posts

Posted - Mar 21 2024 :  03:55:06 AM  Show Profile
Today, is the day-its 5:53 and the procedure is scheduled for 6:45-I've never been more scared in my life-Thank you ladies for all of the prayers. I'll keep you updated. love, Melody
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl

9270 Posts

Denise
Beavercreek Ohio
USA
9270 Posts

Posted - Mar 21 2024 :  08:47:07 AM  Show Profile
Prayers for your husband and those caring for him. For you as well. Sending love.

~Denise
Sister #43~1/18/2007

"I am a bookaholic and I have no desire to be cured."

"Home is where we find comfort, security, memories, friendship, hospitality, and above all, family. It is the place that deserves our commitment and loyalty." William J. Bennett

"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Psalm 119:105

http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
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Wanda Sue
True Blue Farmgirl

1140 Posts

Wanda
Murrells Inlet SC
USA
1140 Posts

Posted - Mar 21 2024 :  11:06:42 AM  Show Profile
Praying!!

A day hemmed in prayer is less likely to unravel.

Farm Girl #3677
Farmgirl of the Month: Aug/2022

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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter

13590 Posts

CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores Colorado
USA
13590 Posts

Posted - Mar 21 2024 :  12:38:44 PM  Show Profile  Send ceejay48 a Yahoo! Message
Praying for you, Bruce and your family . . . and the medical team!
HUGS and PRAYERS!
CJ

..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665.
2010 Farmgirl Sister of the Year

living life - www.snippetscja.blogspot.com

from my heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com

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melody
True Blue Farmgirl

3311 Posts

Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3311 Posts

Posted - Mar 21 2024 :  3:09:02 PM  Show Profile
Long morning-he was in for over 2-1/2 hours-he looks good-NO pain so far but we have the night to get thru before contemplating returning home. Biopsy 'inconclusive' due to residual inflammation from the pancreatitis a month ago. But, there are a lot of slides to go over and we will have conclusive diagnosis according to our Dr who did the procedure in a few days and so we wait. Thank you girls for everything-do you realize what it means to have so much love and prayers sent our way? We are truly blessed and I am forever grateful. Let us get thru the night quietly and with well needed rest. I'll keep you posted. And, THANK YOU so much-Love, Mel
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Wanda Sue
True Blue Farmgirl

1140 Posts

Wanda
Murrells Inlet SC
USA
1140 Posts

Posted - Mar 21 2024 :  4:01:45 PM  Show Profile
Thank you for updating us, so glad you are feeling the love, prayers and support. Big hugs, Wanda Sue

A day hemmed in prayer is less likely to unravel.

Farm Girl #3677
Farmgirl of the Month: Aug/2022

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melody
True Blue Farmgirl

3311 Posts

Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3311 Posts

Posted - Mar 22 2024 :  12:15:02 PM  Show Profile
after the procedure yesterday we ended up going to the ER at St. Mary's Hospital here in Rochester because he has developed pancreatitis again. We have made arrangements to stay at a hotel as our AirBnb expired today. He is heartedly discouraged and in very bad pain-also on the CT scan today they descovered "spots" on his liver that weren't discovered with a CT scan just three days ago. It's so discouraging as we seem to take two steps forward and two steps back. We meet with a surgeon on Monday and Oncology on Tuesday there will also be a PET scan done on Wednesday-Daughter and son-in-law have to head back to MI because of work commitments, but my brother's in law and my sister in law will be driving out to be with me since I won't have my car-daughter is driving back with ours. I'm exhausted, my husband is down hearted but still as sweet and cheerful as he has always been. We are trying our best to be strong, but it's the 2nd time in two months that this pancreatitis has reared its ugly head. Keep us in your prayers and if inclinded please tap on the link above that will bring you to our Go Fund Me Page to help with the costs of being out of town and meals, etc. Love you ladies-Thank you so much. Mel
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Blessed in Colorado
True Blue Farmgirl

6490 Posts

Debbie L.
Oregon
USA
6490 Posts

Posted - Mar 22 2024 :  12:43:02 PM  Show Profile
Still Praying my friend, know we are here for you. I know you are both strong and a not giving up attitude which helps. Take are my friend and lean on family. Big Hugs,


Big Hugs,
Debbie
#1582
Blessed in Oregon
With Colorado on My Mind
Farmgirl of the Month September 2012, February 2018, September 2022
“My altars are My Mountains
and the Ocean.” Lord Byron”

When I am Old I Shall Wear Purple, I am Old now!!


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melody
True Blue Farmgirl

3311 Posts

Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3311 Posts

Posted - Mar 24 2024 :  4:17:27 PM  Show Profile
we are overwhelmed with the response we have received from our Go Fund Me Page. I am truly amazed at the generosity of so many people. We are in day 3 of hospitalization at St. Mary's in Rochester, MN. after his biopsy at Mayo on Thursday-and as was expected and told "highly" likely, the pancreatitis returned in full force-We are scheduled to see a pancreatic surgeon tomorrow afternoon and are hoping he will be able to be discharged as this is a must go to appointment. Or, if we can get him to come by the hospital for consultation. Bruce is tired and a bit discouraged and in pain. I get to the hospital-walking distance very early in the morning and come back about 6:00 or 7:00 in the evening to shower and hit the hay. We are also in the midst of a blizzard at present making travel difficult, but i am thankful I am within walking distance to the hospital. It is a very beautiful snowy scene outside my hotel window-Again, I would like to thank everyone who has contributed to the Go Fund Me page my daughter set up - it is truly, truly appreciated! love, Mel
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl

22937 Posts

Alee
Worland Wy
USA
22937 Posts

Posted - Mar 24 2024 :  8:20:31 PM  Show Profile  Send Alee a Yahoo! Message
I’m so sorry! This has got to be so hard to watch him go through this!

Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8


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melody
True Blue Farmgirl

3311 Posts

Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3311 Posts

Posted - Mar 25 2024 :  4:40:44 PM  Show Profile
Alee, it's such a sick feeling when you know you can't do anything to alleviate the pain. and we found out today the 2nd biopsy was also inconclusive so in 14 days we have to head back to mayo and they will do another biopsy which in turn will trigger another episode of pancreatitis. they are saying that cannot move forward with a sure beyond a doubt that this is cancer diagnosis even tho-as they said "it looks like cancer-it acts like cancer, it must be, but they have to have that one cancer cell on a slide to be definitive and proceed with chemo and radiation-we were told today it will be impossible to surgically remove the mass as it has entwined itself around 2 major arteries-they just wont operate with those risks-we are disheartened and we are tired and sad, but we are heading home tomorrow where he can sleep in his own bed and get to see his old pal Hildegard our mutt. so we wait again and try to stay healthy and optimistic. It surely is a struggle I never thought my family would go thru-It's very humbling.
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